The Good Death
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- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
Terminally ill Janette wants to die with dignity, but it’s not possible in the UK, where she lives. Muscular dystrophy, the illness that Janette suffers from, has affected her family for generations. Janette’s mother was wheelchair bound for decades, a prisoner in her own body. Janette refuses to wait for death in unbearable pain and opts for physician-assisted suicide. She must plan her journey to Switzerland before her rapidly advancing disease makes it impossible. Before leaving on her last journey, she must explain her intention to her family members and close friends.
Citation
Main credits
Krupa, Tomáš (film director)
Krupa, Tomáš (film producer)
Krupa, Tomáš (screenwriter)
Hanulák, Lukáš (screenwriter)
Butlin, Janette (on-screen participant)
Other credits
Cinematography, Ondřej Szollos; editing, Peter Kudlička.
Distributor subjects
No distributor subjects provided.Keywords
00:01:26.891 --> 00:01:28.422
My life is light.
00:01:28.994 --> 00:01:30.967
Waiting for the death wind,
00:01:31.132 --> 00:01:33.927
Like a feather on the back of my hand.
00:01:35.464 --> 00:01:39.044
Dust in sunlight and memory in corners
00:01:39.335 --> 00:01:42.864
Wait for the wind that chills
towards the dead land.
00:01:44.013 --> 00:01:45.459
Grant us thy peace.
00:01:46.880 --> 00:01:49.686
I have walked many years in this city.
00:01:50.499 --> 00:01:54.551
I have kept faith and fast,
provided for the poor.
00:01:54.924 --> 00:01:57.801
Have given and taken honor and ease.
00:01:58.932 --> 00:02:01.741
There never went any rejected
from my door.
00:02:03.496 --> 00:02:05.646
Who shall remember my house,
00:02:06.316 --> 00:02:08.860
Where should live my children's children,
00:02:08.946 --> 00:02:11.542
When the time of sorrow is come?
00:02:14.143 --> 00:02:16.991
I am tired of my own life
00:02:17.560 --> 00:02:20.196
and the lives of those after me,
00:02:21.499 --> 00:02:24.150
I am dying in my own death
00:02:24.769 --> 00:02:27.397
and the deaths of those after me.
00:02:28.499 --> 00:02:30.838
Let thy servant depart,
00:02:31.282 --> 00:02:33.915
Having seen thy salvation.
00:03:58.756 --> 00:04:01.103
Life isn't fair,
00:04:03.977 --> 00:04:06.806
but it may as well be me with a disability
00:04:07.228 --> 00:04:08.701
as somebody else.
00:04:11.666 --> 00:04:14.260
There is nothing that would make me
00:04:14.830 --> 00:04:16.176
be so special
00:04:16.544 --> 00:04:18.873
that it would be unfair.
00:04:20.655 --> 00:04:23.336
I accept that I have a problem
00:04:23.945 --> 00:04:25.710
but I live with it.
00:04:27.411 --> 00:04:28.756
I have no choice
00:04:29.729 --> 00:04:31.693
but to live with it at the moment.
00:04:49.146 --> 00:04:50.531
That was my mother.
00:04:51.707 --> 00:04:53.739
She had muscular dystrophy,
00:04:53.957 --> 00:04:55.753
but we didn't know
00:04:57.075 --> 00:04:58.654
because it was never diagnosed
00:05:01.748 --> 00:05:03.100
until I was diagnosed,
00:05:03.192 --> 00:05:04.867
and then we all realized
00:05:05.742 --> 00:05:07.147
what was wrong with my mother.
00:05:08.951 --> 00:05:10.818
So it was too late to do anything.
00:05:10.994 --> 00:05:12.994
Not that you could do anything, actually.
00:05:13.431 --> 00:05:14.775
So she spent
00:05:16.088 --> 00:05:17.330
30 years
00:05:18.283 --> 00:05:20.707
just sitting in a chair
00:05:21.100 --> 00:05:22.211
all day long
00:05:23.277 --> 00:05:24.277
doing nothing.
00:05:27.537 --> 00:05:31.930
I don't want my life
to be as hard as hers.
00:05:33.707 --> 00:05:37.339
That's why I'm making arrangements
00:05:38.580 --> 00:05:40.008
to go to Switzerland.
00:06:28.757 --> 00:06:31.851
This is my formal request to Erika,
00:06:32.499 --> 00:06:36.812
made on the 20th of July 2016:
00:06:38.121 --> 00:06:41.855
"I formally request
voluntary assisted death
00:06:42.250 --> 00:06:46.474
on the 22nd of September 2016.
00:06:48.235 --> 00:06:50.657
I am a 72-year-old lady
00:06:51.014 --> 00:06:55.039
suffering from inherited
limb-girdle muscular dystrophy,
00:06:55.797 --> 00:06:58.674
for which there is no cure or treatment.
00:07:00.179 --> 00:07:01.960
Until two years ago,
00:07:02.406 --> 00:07:05.523
I was able to care for myself and home.
00:07:07.017 --> 00:07:09.754
I now need help in getting out of bed,
00:07:10.218 --> 00:07:12.912
and find it hard to get up from a chair.
00:07:14.278 --> 00:07:17.673
I have not been able
to make a meal for myself
00:07:17.780 --> 00:07:19.263
for quite some time.
00:07:19.845 --> 00:07:23.876
Even to make instant coffee
is quite an achievement.
00:07:25.234 --> 00:07:27.551
The degree of my disability
00:07:27.664 --> 00:07:29.303
makes me realize
00:07:29.426 --> 00:07:32.293
the futility of continuing my life
00:07:32.738 --> 00:07:35.428
with a sure and certain knowledge
00:07:35.960 --> 00:07:39.635
that further deterioration is inevitable.
00:07:40.686 --> 00:07:43.506
Therefore, I request your help
00:07:43.918 --> 00:07:46.489
with voluntary assisted death.
00:07:47.171 --> 00:07:48.171
Thank you."
00:08:48.910 --> 00:08:53.891
Emily, can you take this paper rubbish
for me, please?
00:08:54.340 --> 00:08:55.784
- Yes, Jan. OK.
- Thank you.
00:08:56.051 --> 00:08:58.701
Just that lot... this is...
00:08:59.594 --> 00:09:00.594
Oh Gosh.
00:09:01.327 --> 00:09:04.296
- I get so much!
- For one person anyway.
00:09:04.374 --> 00:09:05.421
I know.
00:09:05.462 --> 00:09:07.893
All the trees we are supposed to save.
00:09:09.228 --> 00:09:11.421
- You want me to post it?
- I will ask you to post it.
00:09:11.507 --> 00:09:14.153
- Have you got more than one letter?
- No, just...
00:09:14.952 --> 00:09:18.891
I can't remember his first name,
so I´ll just call him 'Mister'.
00:09:21.057 --> 00:09:22.057
Yeah, why not.
00:09:24.278 --> 00:09:27.351
Bye, see you next Monday. Take care.
00:09:27.950 --> 00:09:31.446
- Yes, love, I love you.
- Enjoy yourself while it lasts.
00:09:54.752 --> 00:09:57.130
I, in turn, have passed
00:09:58.679 --> 00:10:02.151
this muscular dystrophy to my son.
00:10:06.254 --> 00:10:09.566
My daughter, who is 49,
00:10:10.455 --> 00:10:14.708
is hopefully clear of muscular dystrophy.
00:10:17.925 --> 00:10:19.658
He has no children
00:10:20.601 --> 00:10:22.792
and neither does my daughter.
00:10:24.327 --> 00:10:27.600
So this generation, my generation,
00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:29.068
is the last.
00:10:56.772 --> 00:10:58.040
Hello there, Simon.
00:10:58.220 --> 00:11:00.174
I hope you are having a great day.
00:11:02.383 --> 00:11:04.258
From today until Tuesday in Washington
00:11:04.301 --> 00:11:06.328
will be partly cloudy most of the time.
00:11:06.471 --> 00:11:08.451
But tomorrow it will be mostly sunny.
00:11:09.301 --> 00:11:12.841
There is light traffic in Washington,
District of Columbia, USA.
00:11:44.465 --> 00:11:46.670
"Hello Simon, this is to let you know that
00:11:46.733 --> 00:11:49.342
I'm going to Switzerland in September.
00:11:49.863 --> 00:11:52.513
I don't think Bridget is too happy
about this,
00:11:52.589 --> 00:11:55.526
but I am determined to go.
00:11:55.607 --> 00:11:57.810
My life here is such a struggle
00:11:58.281 --> 00:11:59.804
and will only get worse.
00:11:59.931 --> 00:12:03.187
So I need to go, while
I am still able to travel.
00:12:04.170 --> 00:12:07.038
When you speak to her or email her,
00:12:07.132 --> 00:12:10.447
can you please convince her
that I am doing the right thing?
00:12:10.734 --> 00:12:13.251
I can honestly say
I can't wait to get there
00:12:13.331 --> 00:12:15.663
and get the whole thing over with.
00:12:16.059 --> 00:12:17.059
Love, Mum."
00:12:20.808 --> 00:12:21.941
And I think I'll
00:12:26.064 --> 00:12:27.064
reply:
00:12:34.390 --> 00:12:35.796
"OK, but
00:12:36.210 --> 00:12:39.233
I insist
00:12:40.437 --> 00:12:41.437
that
00:12:44.608 --> 00:12:45.754
I come
00:12:47.329 --> 00:12:48.329
with you."
00:13:24.631 --> 00:13:28.862
Although we have been born
with this disease,
00:13:28.982 --> 00:13:32.655
it doesn't show itself in the body
until middle age.
00:13:33.154 --> 00:13:35.292
And it doesn't really affect you.
00:13:41.206 --> 00:13:44.612
I became concerned when
the progression of my disease
00:13:45.483 --> 00:13:48.162
became a lot stronger,
a lot more quicker.
00:13:49.251 --> 00:13:50.782
And I wasn't expecting that.
00:13:50.864 --> 00:13:53.493
I was expecting a very slow progression.
00:13:53.717 --> 00:13:55.959
And I wasn't expecting
this disease to kill me.
00:13:58.933 --> 00:14:01.581
And now I find myself building a lab,
00:14:03.537 --> 00:14:06.663
because there is very little
research done in this disease,
00:14:06.789 --> 00:14:09.928
and I would like to change that,
00:14:10.018 --> 00:14:12.486
and bring some attention to it, at least.
00:14:18.060 --> 00:14:21.341
I don't know if I will ever
benefit from this work,
00:14:21.388 --> 00:14:23.430
but maybe someone in the future might.
00:14:23.518 --> 00:14:24.602
Who knows?
00:14:24.832 --> 00:14:27.191
But I think I should do something.
I must do something.
00:14:27.680 --> 00:14:30.437
Otherwise, I´ll just be sitting
in a wheelchair doing nothing.
00:14:41.020 --> 00:14:42.704
People have families
00:14:43.330 --> 00:14:45.116
who try to persuade them
00:14:45.244 --> 00:14:47.348
not to do what I am doing.
00:14:49.220 --> 00:14:52.845
I know that a lot of people
will find it very difficult.
00:14:53.317 --> 00:14:57.465
I mean, you accepted it virtually 100%.
00:14:57.865 --> 00:15:01.950
I'm not quite so sure about it
00:15:02.292 --> 00:15:05.967
as perhaps Rachel is.
I don't, obviously, I don't...
00:15:06.910 --> 00:15:10.172
Yes, because your whole being
speaks for you.
00:15:10.974 --> 00:15:14.439
It's not that you´re saying something
and you can see, all uptight,
00:15:14.618 --> 00:15:17.539
and it´s actually a terrible problem.
00:15:17.635 --> 00:15:19.930
You can see it isn't a terrible problem.
00:15:20.576 --> 00:15:23.384
I'm going to die at a time
00:15:24.122 --> 00:15:28.020
and in a way that I can choose.
00:15:28.402 --> 00:15:30.676
It is not going to be horrendous.
00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:33.418
It is not going to be painful.
00:15:34.366 --> 00:15:36.912
It's not going to be stressful.
00:15:38.258 --> 00:15:40.351
That is a good death.
00:15:41.461 --> 00:15:45.843
I had a stepmother who was
Irish Catholic and very, very...
00:15:47.097 --> 00:15:50.467
very, very against the idea of
ending your life prematurely.
00:15:50.672 --> 00:15:53.789
If you are going to suffer a lot,
00:15:54.494 --> 00:15:55.994
that would be good for you,
00:15:56.209 --> 00:15:57.857
and that would be God's will for you
00:15:57.884 --> 00:15:59.611
that you did have that suffering.
00:16:00.464 --> 00:16:04.780
And it is your duty to die when God
decides you are going to die,
00:16:04.901 --> 00:16:06.458
not a moment before.
00:16:07.261 --> 00:16:09.168
It is rather terrifying.
00:16:09.614 --> 00:16:11.879
It´s not the sort of God I believe in.
00:16:29.864 --> 00:16:31.912
If I became a burden,
00:16:32.491 --> 00:16:35.886
I don't think I would want to exist
much longer.
00:16:36.354 --> 00:16:37.975
If there were no way
00:16:38.319 --> 00:16:40.986
that I could get out of that situation.
00:16:42.645 --> 00:16:46.748
If I were in such a state
that I needed constant care,
00:16:47.300 --> 00:16:49.033
then I would not want to exist.
00:18:25.391 --> 00:18:28.484
We are not bonded in the way
00:18:28.785 --> 00:18:31.269
that most families are.
00:18:34.558 --> 00:18:36.331
She remarried and
00:18:37.800 --> 00:18:40.542
I did not get along
with my stepfather at all.
00:18:41.406 --> 00:18:43.333
It was a very very poor relationship.
00:18:45.272 --> 00:18:48.498
So that's why I haven't seen Jan for
00:18:49.241 --> 00:18:50.241
many years.
00:19:09.252 --> 00:19:11.189
And what you are seeing here,
00:19:11.437 --> 00:19:12.681
in this stem,
00:19:12.934 --> 00:19:14.513
those are the protein aggregates.
00:19:15.112 --> 00:19:17.557
This is the bit that is not dissolving,
but just building up?
00:19:17.616 --> 00:19:22.066
Exactly. This is where all the myotilin
00:19:22.175 --> 00:19:24.295
that's got the mutations,
00:19:24.702 --> 00:19:28.746
are, kind of, sucking up
other proteins and itself.
00:19:28.855 --> 00:19:31.665
And they are aggregating
and causing these clumps.
00:19:31.709 --> 00:19:36.595
So if we could arrest
the further addition of myotilin
00:19:36.860 --> 00:19:38.208
adding to the size of this,
00:19:38.312 --> 00:19:42.159
maybe then the cell can figure out a way
to clear that, eventually.
00:19:42.490 --> 00:19:43.550
Clinically we know
00:19:43.628 --> 00:19:46.604
that patients with myotilinopathy
develop this aggregates.
00:19:47.490 --> 00:19:50.286
But it would be nice to correlate
the aggregate
00:19:51.045 --> 00:19:52.940
that you might have in your muscle
00:19:53.113 --> 00:19:56.500
with what we would be able
to potentially generate in the cells
00:19:56.637 --> 00:19:58.722
that we can produce from those biopsies.
00:19:58.874 --> 00:20:02.025
I would like to give you as much
useful stuff as possible.
00:20:02.118 --> 00:20:03.118
OK.
00:20:03.779 --> 00:20:05.164
We haven't published this yet,
00:20:05.344 --> 00:20:08.804
and it's not, by any means,
a therapy for this.
00:20:09.068 --> 00:20:11.114
However, Lindsay did a study,
00:20:12.422 --> 00:20:15.561
where we injected these mice,
the muscles of these mice,
00:20:15.772 --> 00:20:18.779
that have already developed
limb-girdle muscular dystrophy
00:20:19.438 --> 00:20:21.068
with something called cardiotoxin.
00:20:21.185 --> 00:20:22.758
It's basically like a snake venom.
00:20:22.983 --> 00:20:23.983
Interesting.
00:20:24.413 --> 00:20:26.381
What it does is it kills all the muscle.
00:20:26.599 --> 00:20:29.517
And I already told you that most muscle
has a capacity to regenerate.
00:20:29.638 --> 00:20:31.238
Very quickly, right?
00:20:31.765 --> 00:20:34.350
So, if you inject these muscles,
00:20:34.488 --> 00:20:37.570
these mouse muscles, that are...
they have muscular dystrophy,
00:20:37.656 --> 00:20:39.148
they're weak, they're small.
00:20:39.398 --> 00:20:42.140
If you inject them with the snake venom,
00:20:42.463 --> 00:20:43.719
kill the muscle,
00:20:43.930 --> 00:20:46.615
that muscle will regenerate
and it starts from scratch.
00:20:46.749 --> 00:20:49.022
So it's basically normal again,
at the beginning.
00:20:49.111 --> 00:20:51.608
And then over time it would
accumulate aggregates again.
00:20:51.963 --> 00:20:54.382
So, if there is some way that you could
00:20:54.515 --> 00:20:56.447
destroy and repopulate your muscle,
00:20:56.550 --> 00:20:58.538
which is not possible right now,
00:20:59.273 --> 00:21:00.563
that would offer a treatment.
00:21:00.733 --> 00:21:04.019
That's interesting. I can´t imagine
a therapy being based on
00:21:04.154 --> 00:21:05.896
Right, it wouldn´t work on humans.
00:21:05.988 --> 00:21:09.187
killing large amounts of muscle
in an older person.
00:21:10.403 --> 00:21:12.145
- It wouldn't regenerate.
- Right.
00:21:19.460 --> 00:21:20.782
My GP,
00:21:21.887 --> 00:21:23.045
he has
00:21:23.798 --> 00:21:27.829
completely refused to help me.
00:21:28.994 --> 00:21:33.832
He sent a psychiatrist around to see me.
00:21:35.216 --> 00:21:37.362
They made it quite clear
00:21:38.163 --> 00:21:40.643
that all they needed
00:21:40.878 --> 00:21:44.913
was two doctors to say
00:21:45.367 --> 00:21:49.962
that I did not know what I was doing,
00:21:50.864 --> 00:21:55.275
and that they could admit me
00:21:55.854 --> 00:21:58.285
to hospital immediately,
00:21:59.392 --> 00:22:01.948
and virtually lock me up.
00:22:04.316 --> 00:22:09.722
I was given the option
of going on to medication
00:22:11.113 --> 00:22:13.667
to stop me from being depressed.
00:22:14.959 --> 00:22:19.270
So yes, I opted to take the medication,
00:22:20.408 --> 00:22:25.526
and yes, I opted
for the mental health nurse
00:22:26.006 --> 00:22:29.350
to come out every week to see me.
00:22:32.171 --> 00:22:36.597
She then informed the psychiatrist
00:22:36.668 --> 00:22:38.456
that yes, I was absolutely fine.
00:22:38.837 --> 00:22:40.358
Nothing to worry about.
00:22:40.749 --> 00:22:43.542
I had changed my mind completely
00:22:44.198 --> 00:22:48.573
and wasn't going to go to Switzerland.
00:22:51.923 --> 00:22:53.891
If I told the truth,
00:22:54.447 --> 00:22:57.962
I would, by now, be in hospital,
00:22:58.406 --> 00:23:02.210
sectioned under a mental health act.
00:23:31.947 --> 00:23:34.355
I think I've had two
00:23:35.050 --> 00:23:38.128
very interesting marriages.
00:23:41.922 --> 00:23:44.027
My first husband was
00:23:44.238 --> 00:23:48.567
quite an exciting person to be with.
00:23:49.059 --> 00:23:50.067
Altough
00:23:50.372 --> 00:23:54.242
I don't think he ever took
any of his responsibilities
00:23:54.760 --> 00:23:59.166
as either a husband
or a parent seriously.
00:24:02.575 --> 00:24:04.919
When I married Don,
00:24:06.392 --> 00:24:09.444
who didn't have any children of his own,
00:24:10.223 --> 00:24:15.314
he became my children's stepfather.
00:24:17.354 --> 00:24:22.701
We were very happy
for most of our married life.
00:24:59.490 --> 00:25:02.668
This has been discussed between us
00:25:03.238 --> 00:25:05.272
over a period of years
00:25:05.601 --> 00:25:08.134
that we both promised each other
00:25:09.253 --> 00:25:10.725
that if either of us
00:25:11.292 --> 00:25:14.849
got to the stage that
our lives were miserable
00:25:16.045 --> 00:25:17.349
and unhappy,
00:25:18.064 --> 00:25:23.153
that we would take the steps
that I am taking.
00:25:25.503 --> 00:25:30.186
And we would support each other
in our choice.
00:25:52.619 --> 00:25:54.673
This is my daughter, there.
00:25:55.394 --> 00:25:58.167
I have booked a flight for her.
00:25:58.871 --> 00:26:00.119
There she is.
00:26:00.693 --> 00:26:02.706
And a hotel room for her.
00:26:03.411 --> 00:26:05.942
She is supporting me
00:26:06.583 --> 00:26:09.840
in as much as she understands
00:26:10.108 --> 00:26:13.746
what I'm doing and understands why.
00:26:16.262 --> 00:26:18.329
But she would rather
00:26:18.999 --> 00:26:21.513
that there was an alternative.
00:26:27.060 --> 00:26:29.810
She keep sending me pictures
00:26:30.546 --> 00:26:31.778
of wedding dresses,
00:26:32.372 --> 00:26:36.312
so that I can say which ones I like,
00:26:36.718 --> 00:26:39.153
and which ones I don't like.
00:26:41.913 --> 00:26:44.746
She has not set a date.
00:26:46.202 --> 00:26:49.626
I have set my important date,
00:26:50.080 --> 00:26:51.213
but she hasn't.
00:26:53.836 --> 00:26:56.962
I cannot wait forever
for her to get married.
00:27:12.130 --> 00:27:16.613
I have not been up here
since last October.
00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:20.258
So it's a long time since I've seen...
00:27:20.838 --> 00:27:23.635
Oh, I can see is that
everything needs water.
00:27:29.630 --> 00:27:31.489
Beautiful, I can't believe it.
00:27:33.179 --> 00:27:36.071
Sometimes I would
sit in the front garden,
00:27:36.459 --> 00:27:39.365
and I would just think
00:27:39.766 --> 00:27:42.345
this is my little bit of Eden.
00:27:43.382 --> 00:27:46.319
And that was all I wanted.
00:27:46.595 --> 00:27:49.307
You know, I've had all those
beautiful houses that I made,
00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:50.426
I built them.
00:27:50.836 --> 00:27:51.836
And the gardens.
00:27:51.874 --> 00:27:53.835
And then suddenly I'm living in a...
00:27:54.337 --> 00:27:57.364
ending up with nothing,
living in a grotty flat and...
00:27:59.241 --> 00:28:02.590
Well, I think, things could be about
to change, don't you Tony?
00:28:02.996 --> 00:28:04.543
- I don't know.
- Don't you Caroline?
00:28:04.699 --> 00:28:06.810
Think that things are going to
change a bit?
00:28:09.187 --> 00:28:11.527
Her mother took everything,
00:28:12.033 --> 00:28:14.455
and said: "Take the baby and go."
00:28:14.589 --> 00:28:16.589
We ended up with nothing.
00:28:16.690 --> 00:28:19.724
We came here in summer clothes,
with no money, nothing.
00:28:22.694 --> 00:28:23.694
Look in here.
00:28:27.117 --> 00:28:28.624
This is astounding.
00:28:31.172 --> 00:28:32.760
It's so... everything's so beautiful.
00:28:36.263 --> 00:28:38.069
I can't believe it.
00:28:39.618 --> 00:28:41.110
You know, on the one hand,
00:28:41.727 --> 00:28:44.828
there's this wonderful garden,
this beautiful house.
00:28:45.694 --> 00:28:48.155
And then, through tragedy,
00:28:48.538 --> 00:28:50.977
we might live here. I don't know.
00:28:51.078 --> 00:28:53.140
We haven't spoken about it.
00:28:53.315 --> 00:28:56.481
But the duality of the scenario is
00:28:57.859 --> 00:28:59.861
so terrible, you know.
00:29:00.561 --> 00:29:03.239
I want to say: "Stay! I can help you.
00:29:03.780 --> 00:29:07.399
Carry you! Help you. Stay.
00:29:07.548 --> 00:29:09.614
You can't leave this place."
00:29:11.463 --> 00:29:13.176
Should we look around?
00:29:14.364 --> 00:29:15.795
I feel terrible.
00:29:17.733 --> 00:29:18.933
Let's have a look.
00:29:24.654 --> 00:29:28.329
But suppose Don dies in two years time.
00:29:29.392 --> 00:29:31.125
What happens to the house then?
00:29:32.482 --> 00:29:34.776
Probably absolutely nothing.
00:29:35.167 --> 00:29:38.292
That whoever is already the incumbent,
00:29:40.250 --> 00:29:44.284
I am sure could remain the incumbent
00:29:44.503 --> 00:29:49.111
if that´s what he wanted.
00:29:49.389 --> 00:29:52.763
The question of ownership
has to arise at some point.
00:29:53.584 --> 00:29:57.289
Yes, the ownership would still be
00:29:58.632 --> 00:30:01.824
my children. It's entrust.
00:30:03.073 --> 00:30:04.473
The house is entrust.
00:30:06.856 --> 00:30:10.402
You have decided you´re going to come
and live here, haven't you Tony?
00:30:11.060 --> 00:30:15.028
I'd be a little worried that someone
might come along and say:
00:30:15.122 --> 00:30:17.375
"Right, dream ends today, get out."
00:30:17.792 --> 00:30:22.896
No, no, no, no. It will not end
for at least 5 years,
00:30:22.964 --> 00:30:25.096
and I think it will go on longer.
00:30:27.169 --> 00:30:29.605
But, there's this thing I want to...
00:30:29.764 --> 00:30:31.204
Oh, feel free.
00:30:31.721 --> 00:30:32.741
I will.
00:30:35.477 --> 00:30:38.500
Oh, it's lovely to meet you,
you little sweetie.
00:30:45.051 --> 00:30:50.510
I suggested a little targeting experiment.
00:30:50.874 --> 00:30:52.765
And it turns out he'd already
thought of that.
00:30:53.097 --> 00:30:55.048
And a couple of years back he
00:30:56.273 --> 00:30:59.062
had submitted a grant proposal,
00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:01.162
that was accepted, but not funded.
00:31:01.241 --> 00:31:02.953
It's the way the funding buckets work.
00:31:05.570 --> 00:31:07.448
But he's going to re-submit it for me.
00:31:07.717 --> 00:31:08.748
This thing doesn't work.
00:31:09.405 --> 00:31:11.208
Hold on, darling. Let me get that.
00:31:11.902 --> 00:31:15.831
- So he's gonna re-submit it...
- Take the old thing.
00:31:19.283 --> 00:31:20.487
- Great.
- There you go.
00:31:20.753 --> 00:31:22.472
So, he's gonna re-submit that for me.
00:31:23.906 --> 00:31:25.391
And he was really keen on
00:31:26.501 --> 00:31:30.352
knowing the family history,
my history, all sorts of stuff.
00:31:32.022 --> 00:31:34.201
And he wants...
00:31:34.931 --> 00:31:36.934
And he told me he didn´t...
the lab...
00:31:37.051 --> 00:31:41.753
and, in fact, no lab in the world has
a cell line against LGMD1A.
00:31:42.290 --> 00:31:43.727
- Oh really?
- No cell line.
00:31:44.330 --> 00:31:48.685
No-one can do an experiment
on this diseased cell.
00:31:49.790 --> 00:31:52.323
So he wants me to go back in spring.
00:31:53.264 --> 00:31:56.688
And they're gonna stick
a stonking great needle in my arm.
00:31:58.131 --> 00:32:02.022
And get a tissue culture
that can live in immortality,
00:32:02.139 --> 00:32:05.748
so these researches have copies of it.
00:32:06.682 --> 00:32:07.859
Ah, that's pretty cool.
00:32:09.122 --> 00:32:11.560
So did you get any ideas
for your research?
00:32:13.095 --> 00:32:16.651
No, other than knowing
that a little specific
00:32:17.372 --> 00:32:19.653
interference is good.
00:32:20.101 --> 00:32:21.195
Is a likely candidate.
00:32:21.261 --> 00:32:24.493
Well, then I could do
some computations on that,
00:32:24.728 --> 00:32:26.308
and maybe do an experiment.
00:32:27.074 --> 00:32:29.149
That's reasonable for a lab like mine.
00:32:29.161 --> 00:32:30.988
I might actually going to do that.
00:32:31.241 --> 00:32:33.944
There's no way I would ever want
to work on mice.
00:32:34.441 --> 00:32:37.431
And I don't think it´s even... I'm sure
it's not even legal to work on
00:32:38.473 --> 00:32:40.028
rhesus-monkeys, that would be.
00:32:40.145 --> 00:32:42.152
And I wouldn't want to anyway,
that's horrible.
00:32:51.009 --> 00:32:52.573
Those are complex experiments, right?
00:32:52.753 --> 00:32:54.510
I've never designed an experiment.
00:32:54.613 --> 00:32:56.946
That's OK, I mean,
do simple experiments.
00:32:57.422 --> 00:33:01.448
See what you can do,
that would save him time.
00:33:01.664 --> 00:33:03.301
Right, well, ...
00:33:03.996 --> 00:33:06.388
To me that's horribly complex
and scares the hell out of me.
00:33:06.600 --> 00:33:09.955
To him, that's his
day-to-day work, right?
00:33:11.157 --> 00:33:14.806
But, there's no point in having a lab,
a full lab, downstairs,
00:33:15.002 --> 00:33:18.007
- if you're not going to really
put it to use. - I know.
00:33:20.113 --> 00:33:21.345
- So, use it.
- I know.
00:33:24.095 --> 00:33:25.095
I mean,
00:33:27.299 --> 00:33:29.820
there's little chance anyone else
is going to do this.
00:33:31.265 --> 00:33:32.506
Yeah, I know.
00:33:33.646 --> 00:33:36.835
There's only Steve Harper's Lab
doing any work on this.
00:33:36.920 --> 00:33:40.260
I know, there's only a handful
of people with your condition,
00:33:41.057 --> 00:33:43.104
probably no one with your condition,
00:33:43.956 --> 00:33:47.810
that has the credentials and
the know-how to do this.
00:33:48.009 --> 00:33:49.406
Well, I don't have any credentials
00:33:49.499 --> 00:33:52.070
and I'm not sure about the know-how.
But anyway.
00:33:52.828 --> 00:33:54.924
- You worked in a lab.
- Well yes.
00:33:55.120 --> 00:33:56.939
- You have a chemistry degree.
- Yes.
00:33:57.116 --> 00:33:58.535
You have an IT degree,
00:33:59.216 --> 00:34:00.949
you have a science degree,
00:34:01.208 --> 00:34:02.316
so, use it!
00:34:03.487 --> 00:34:04.487
Alright.
00:34:05.553 --> 00:34:08.475
I'm gonna keep pushing you,
´cause this is not just your life.
00:34:08.947 --> 00:34:10.397
It's my life, too.
00:34:12.202 --> 00:34:13.243
I can't do it.
00:34:14.188 --> 00:34:15.188
I can't help.
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:17.034
It makes me feel very
00:34:25.850 --> 00:34:27.047
not desperate, but
00:34:28.245 --> 00:34:30.588
impotent. I can't help.
00:34:32.391 --> 00:34:33.791
I want to. I cannot.
00:34:36.418 --> 00:34:38.160
You're the only one who can.
00:34:56.240 --> 00:34:58.620
I don't think of this as courage.
00:35:00.745 --> 00:35:03.541
I'm taking the easy way out.
00:35:06.782 --> 00:35:09.743
To carry on living would be courage,
00:35:10.242 --> 00:35:11.253
but not this.
00:35:19.796 --> 00:35:21.263
If I had courage,
00:35:22.929 --> 00:35:25.156
I wouldn't be going to Switzerland.
00:35:27.267 --> 00:35:28.800
But I'm not brave enough
00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:33.667
to carry on living
00:35:35.623 --> 00:35:36.756
as I am now
00:35:39.149 --> 00:35:40.371
and how I know
00:35:41.512 --> 00:35:45.911
how much worse my situation
is going to become.
00:36:02.366 --> 00:36:04.669
Control of one's destiny
00:36:06.780 --> 00:36:08.527
resides only in that person
00:36:08.661 --> 00:36:11.651
and other people can't mess with it
or have any right to it.
00:36:17.099 --> 00:36:19.381
I would go as far as saying
00:36:20.121 --> 00:36:22.208
that it is a fundamental human right
00:36:22.397 --> 00:36:24.238
to end one's own life.
00:36:24.789 --> 00:36:25.820
Suicide.
00:36:25.902 --> 00:36:27.834
Let's put it in simple terms.
00:37:03.318 --> 00:37:06.386
Hello Charlotte there, it's Jan again.
00:37:06.657 --> 00:37:09.016
Sorry to be a nuisance.
00:37:09.893 --> 00:37:13.330
Could you pop round later on
00:37:14.748 --> 00:37:16.029
this afternoon,
00:37:16.514 --> 00:37:20.310
after you've brought the children
back from school?
00:37:21.307 --> 00:37:22.978
Need to talk to you.
00:37:23.579 --> 00:37:26.049
Nothing at all to worry about.
00:37:26.206 --> 00:37:29.742
I have been trying to catch up
with you for a while, sweetheart.
00:37:30.090 --> 00:37:33.198
So, hopefully, you´ll get back to me.
Bye.
00:37:35.956 --> 00:37:37.921
I have something to tell you.
00:37:39.331 --> 00:37:44.057
And I think you may have
an inkling what this actually is,
00:37:44.480 --> 00:37:47.126
- because we´ve talked about it before.
- Yes.
00:37:47.417 --> 00:37:50.525
But, Charlotte, I need to tell you
00:37:50.916 --> 00:37:52.677
that at the moment,
00:37:52.727 --> 00:37:54.854
don't worry, ´cause I'm quite calm.
00:37:55.843 --> 00:37:59.024
I need to tell you that at the moment
00:37:59.092 --> 00:38:02.839
I intend leaving Mersea on Sunday.
00:38:04.161 --> 00:38:05.629
Oh fucking hell, sorry.
00:38:05.721 --> 00:38:07.552
No, no, no... it's... I...
00:38:07.693 --> 00:38:09.885
I'm alright. I just want...
00:38:09.957 --> 00:38:12.670
It's not alright, Janette. It's not.
00:38:13.103 --> 00:38:14.689
It... it... it... it is.
00:38:15.331 --> 00:38:18.213
It is alright, Charlotte.
00:38:18.982 --> 00:38:21.358
Because it's the best thing.
00:38:21.968 --> 00:38:23.670
Now, I know you are shaking.
00:38:23.766 --> 00:38:26.003
But, what about my kids, Jan?
00:38:26.994 --> 00:38:29.071
What about them?
What about Anna?
00:38:29.177 --> 00:38:31.105
She comes to you for everything!
00:38:31.240 --> 00:38:35.013
This isn't fair.
No, no, no.
00:38:37.326 --> 00:38:39.195
I'm finding it
00:38:40.335 --> 00:38:43.818
a bit of a struggle living here.
00:38:44.998 --> 00:38:47.349
So what I'm going to do.
00:38:48.538 --> 00:38:53.064
When my son was here last April or May,
00:38:53.610 --> 00:38:56.085
what he suggested was that,
00:38:57.953 --> 00:39:01.283
as his house is already
converted in America,
00:39:02.253 --> 00:39:03.917
it would be a good idea
00:39:04.436 --> 00:39:08.903
if I went to live with him in America.
00:39:10.892 --> 00:39:12.860
That's it, girls.
00:39:13.506 --> 00:39:15.842
So it wasn't bad news really, was it?
00:39:15.954 --> 00:39:17.148
No, it was good.
00:39:17.320 --> 00:39:19.563
Because it's going to...it's got a...
00:39:21.059 --> 00:39:23.832
a happy ending, right?
00:39:25.105 --> 00:39:28.789
I shall never forget you two, don't worry.
00:39:29.173 --> 00:39:31.492
Yeah, it's alright, sweetheart.
00:39:32.091 --> 00:39:33.466
It's alright.
00:39:40.648 --> 00:39:42.574
- Girls, I'll be back in a minute, OK?
- OK.
00:39:43.175 --> 00:39:45.233
- Jess?
- Thank you, Jan.
00:39:47.332 --> 00:39:49.042
- Bye-bye, sweethearts.
- Bye.
00:39:49.384 --> 00:39:51.394
- It'll be two minutes...
- Bye.
00:40:02.555 --> 00:40:03.555
Are they gone?
00:40:05.734 --> 00:40:06.734
Yes?
00:40:09.693 --> 00:40:11.464
I'm not going to America.
00:40:13.602 --> 00:40:14.602
I know.
00:40:16.282 --> 00:40:18.490
But I couldn't tell these two.
00:40:19.861 --> 00:40:21.923
I have received an email
00:40:22.823 --> 00:40:23.977
from Bridget.
00:40:24.205 --> 00:40:25.205
When?
00:40:25.641 --> 00:40:26.641
Yesterday.
00:40:28.156 --> 00:40:31.112
Telling me not to bother going down,
give you a ring,
00:40:31.413 --> 00:40:33.651
because they were arranging to take you,
00:40:34.182 --> 00:40:35.622
in a luxury car,
00:40:35.755 --> 00:40:37.794
both Simon and Bridget.
00:40:39.901 --> 00:40:40.933
Where to?
00:40:41.365 --> 00:40:42.810
To where you want to go.
00:40:45.873 --> 00:40:48.623
- By car to Basel?
- Yes.
00:40:49.342 --> 00:40:52.340
Well, I would like to talk to her
and convince her
00:40:54.058 --> 00:40:55.677
that the route you've chosen
00:40:55.810 --> 00:40:57.971
is the only one she can support really.
00:41:00.179 --> 00:41:02.193
Oh, Jeff, thank you.
00:41:03.857 --> 00:41:05.773
Bram, I'm saying...
I´m gonna tell you again,
00:41:05.898 --> 00:41:08.132
it's not a route that i'll...
00:41:08.589 --> 00:41:09.789
No, no... I know...
00:41:13.789 --> 00:41:14.789
Oh, Jeff.
00:41:16.394 --> 00:41:18.089
I don't know what on earth...
00:41:19.437 --> 00:41:22.504
Just count to ten, bite your lip.
00:41:22.713 --> 00:41:25.269
Look, it will get sorted, Janette.
00:41:25.424 --> 00:41:27.191
That's why I've come down,
00:41:27.263 --> 00:41:29.712
to try and help you sort it out.
00:41:35.224 --> 00:41:39.119
"Simon and I would support Mum
at the appropriate time,
00:41:39.238 --> 00:41:40.246
but not now.
00:41:41.253 --> 00:41:43.160
Simon thought he was just
00:41:43.847 --> 00:41:46.858
taking Mum just for an explorative trip,
00:41:47.453 --> 00:41:49.319
not the final trip.
00:41:49.579 --> 00:41:52.772
He has only just realized
the full situation.
00:41:53.886 --> 00:41:55.670
He's still taking Mum,
00:41:56.139 --> 00:41:59.273
and we are both hoping
that they will reject her,
00:41:59.735 --> 00:42:01.195
and that she will return."
00:42:01.977 --> 00:42:02.977
Bollocks.
00:42:03.993 --> 00:42:07.659
No way. I'm sorry.
No way. No way.
00:42:10.131 --> 00:42:14.443
My plans have not changed
00:42:14.816 --> 00:42:16.153
in any way.
00:42:16.911 --> 00:42:19.543
They're not going to change,
00:42:19.733 --> 00:42:25.764
and all they are now doing is making me
extremely angry and upset.
00:42:27.197 --> 00:42:29.228
I've got everything sorted out,
00:42:29.768 --> 00:42:31.493
everything organized.
00:42:31.606 --> 00:42:34.973
I've been happier in the last few weeks
00:42:35.194 --> 00:42:37.154
than I have been in the last year.
00:42:37.248 --> 00:42:40.650
And they go and do this to me.
00:42:41.205 --> 00:42:43.521
So I could reply by saying
00:42:44.373 --> 00:42:46.301
I have spoken to you and
00:42:46.614 --> 00:42:48.959
whether you go or not,
00:42:49.366 --> 00:42:51.252
you are going ahead with it?
00:42:51.404 --> 00:42:53.564
- Yes.
- Right, that's all it needs.
00:43:03.863 --> 00:43:06.253
Thank you for coming down,
00:43:06.904 --> 00:43:10.344
and being such a wonderful,
wonderful cousin.
00:43:11.565 --> 00:43:13.973
And I've just got so many
00:43:15.450 --> 00:43:16.676
happy memories
00:43:17.564 --> 00:43:19.631
of what we've done together.
00:43:32.409 --> 00:43:37.284
I hadn't seen Jan since...
00:43:40.078 --> 00:43:41.119
2002?
00:43:44.662 --> 00:43:46.347
So that's been years I can't count.
00:43:47.534 --> 00:43:49.184
Jan and I never had a relationship
00:43:51.273 --> 00:43:52.905
where we needed to see each other
00:43:53.015 --> 00:43:55.237
or communicate or talk, really.
00:43:57.173 --> 00:43:59.857
Our relationship has never been sunny
00:43:59.869 --> 00:44:02.211
since my teenage years, at least.
00:44:03.368 --> 00:44:05.731
A typical mother-son relationship.
00:44:08.687 --> 00:44:10.632
It's more like cordial friends.
00:44:22.032 --> 00:44:24.702
My sister Bridget is clearly upset
by the whole thing,
00:44:25.887 --> 00:44:28.026
and she has a different
relationship with Jan.
00:44:29.356 --> 00:44:31.856
And that is more of
a mother-daughter bond,
00:44:35.600 --> 00:44:39.955
and she's naturally extremely concerned
00:44:41.877 --> 00:44:43.672
and doesn't want this to happen.
00:44:45.362 --> 00:44:47.492
Neither do I. I don't want it to happen.
00:44:49.024 --> 00:44:51.203
There is a certain sense
of inevitability.
00:44:53.882 --> 00:44:55.897
And as long as I can make sure
00:44:55.937 --> 00:44:59.444
that it's been done rationally
00:44:59.856 --> 00:45:01.618
and she´s thought about it very deeply,
00:45:02.993 --> 00:45:05.167
then I will have to be happy.
00:45:35.779 --> 00:45:37.829
I have had to tell people
00:45:38.314 --> 00:45:39.891
so many lies
00:45:40.252 --> 00:45:43.000
to get to this stage.
00:45:45.633 --> 00:45:51.363
The whole process will really
have taken me 11 months.
00:45:52.514 --> 00:45:54.576
Eleven months of struggle.
00:45:55.772 --> 00:46:01.072
Eleven months of really thinking through
00:46:01.166 --> 00:46:03.072
of am I doing the right thing.
00:46:04.040 --> 00:46:08.350
Thinking through how I'm going to tell
my family.
00:46:08.999 --> 00:46:11.749
How I'm going to tell my friends.
00:46:12.371 --> 00:46:14.967
How I'm going to convince them
00:46:15.203 --> 00:46:17.915
that this is the answer,
00:46:18.497 --> 00:46:22.037
and I don't have any alternative.
00:47:16.570 --> 00:47:17.987
I shall need...
00:47:19.112 --> 00:47:20.112
Money.
00:47:20.704 --> 00:47:21.704
Money.
00:47:22.457 --> 00:47:24.373
I have some there.
00:47:29.599 --> 00:47:34.686
Travel money I'll put in there.
00:47:35.214 --> 00:47:37.573
And English money.
00:47:39.579 --> 00:47:41.049
And more.
00:47:44.273 --> 00:47:46.353
I could enjoy spending you.
00:47:50.472 --> 00:47:52.203
More English money.
00:47:52.426 --> 00:47:53.477
I am rich.
00:47:54.543 --> 00:47:56.957
But I can't take you with me when I go.
00:47:57.390 --> 00:47:58.796
So never mind.
00:48:02.904 --> 00:48:05.237
Eventually Dimitri got his wish.
00:48:05.755 --> 00:48:10.434
After weeks of protest, he was removed
from the battlefield and flown home.
00:48:12.759 --> 00:48:17.211
But employees told us that hundreds of
their fellow fighters will never return.
00:49:11.859 --> 00:49:12.859
Alright.
00:49:12.995 --> 00:49:15.927
And I may well leave
that stick inside now.
00:49:16.227 --> 00:49:17.678
Simon, do you want those?
00:49:18.022 --> 00:49:21.177
What the hell am I going to do with...
00:49:21.732 --> 00:49:23.573
To do with the stick?
Same as I do.
00:49:24.234 --> 00:49:27.026
Yeah, I know, but I'm not buying
sticks for a few years.
00:49:28.100 --> 00:49:29.300
I'm still walking.
00:49:29.379 --> 00:49:30.655
Yeah, you're still walking.
00:49:32.110 --> 00:49:34.300
In fact, you're doing very well, Simon.
00:49:34.559 --> 00:49:35.559
No.
00:49:36.970 --> 00:49:40.042
I had a neurological consultation
the other week.
00:49:40.577 --> 00:49:42.100
It's not neurological.
00:49:42.182 --> 00:49:44.807
What is yours then?
00:49:46.924 --> 00:49:50.158
Limb-girdle muscular dystrophy
type 1A, so is yours.
00:49:50.353 --> 00:49:52.562
It's not... It's not neurological.
00:49:59.034 --> 00:50:00.942
- You're missing a protein
- Yes.
00:50:01.059 --> 00:50:03.009
- that would hold the Z-disks together.
- Yes.
00:50:03.274 --> 00:50:04.767
Not neurological.
00:50:08.382 --> 00:50:12.797
Well, I know that you understand
a lot more about this than I do.
00:50:13.190 --> 00:50:16.629
And then we can talk about
that website, Simon,
00:50:17.366 --> 00:50:20.013
which I didn't join,
00:50:20.923 --> 00:50:22.173
and I should have done.
00:50:22.437 --> 00:50:23.616
It doesn't matter.
00:52:12.824 --> 00:52:15.269
- Hello.
- Hello, Erika.
00:52:15.499 --> 00:52:16.657
Hello, Janette.
00:52:17.012 --> 00:52:18.213
- Finally.
- I am shushed.
00:52:18.293 --> 00:52:20.528
Oh yes, finally.
00:52:23.698 --> 00:52:25.523
Hey Janette, it will turn alright.
00:52:28.298 --> 00:52:29.863
It will turn alright.
00:52:30.849 --> 00:52:31.872
Hey, Janette.
00:52:31.927 --> 00:52:34.303
Thank you.
Thank you.
00:52:55.434 --> 00:52:56.769
We do have
00:52:58.657 --> 00:53:01.204
not more than two
assisted dyings a week.
00:53:01.798 --> 00:53:03.951
I should only have one a week.
00:53:04.780 --> 00:53:06.489
If I do more than one a week,
00:53:06.606 --> 00:53:07.864
it is too much for me.
00:53:08.013 --> 00:53:11.157
I also have to get over assisted dyings
00:53:11.264 --> 00:53:13.267
and people like Janette, you know,
00:53:13.322 --> 00:53:14.971
she is such a lovely lady.
00:53:15.878 --> 00:53:18.026
It is not all that easy to let them go.
00:53:24.504 --> 00:53:27.418
I do not have to take responsibility
for Janette.
00:53:28.023 --> 00:53:30.656
Janette is taking the responsibility
for herself.
00:53:31.113 --> 00:53:32.417
I just have to make sure
00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:35.598
that she has been thinking it over well.
00:53:35.755 --> 00:53:37.911
And that she doesn't come too early.
00:53:39.663 --> 00:53:41.869
People who are very badly handicapped,
00:53:42.864 --> 00:53:45.392
they have to come too early
to be able to travel.
00:53:45.862 --> 00:53:47.760
To be able to come at all.
00:53:48.081 --> 00:53:51.729
This is why I'm fighting
for legalization so hard.
00:53:52.599 --> 00:53:54.333
If they could do it in their country,
00:53:54.395 --> 00:53:56.727
I guess they could wait a bit longer.
00:54:07.560 --> 00:54:11.692
When I do assisted dying,
I always think whether it is OK
00:54:11.756 --> 00:54:13.648
to do assisted dying or not.
00:54:17.603 --> 00:54:20.441
When I think back to my past,
00:54:20.879 --> 00:54:24.139
I have not always been
00:54:24.616 --> 00:54:26.171
accepting assisted dying,
00:54:26.249 --> 00:54:29.384
I haven't even been thinking
of assisted dying some days.
00:54:30.220 --> 00:54:33.942
I was very deeply into palliative care
00:54:34.068 --> 00:54:37.001
and terminal sedation in some cases.
00:54:37.542 --> 00:54:39.933
And I think if you would have asked me
00:54:40.268 --> 00:54:43.710
whether I accept assisted dying
those days,
00:54:44.031 --> 00:54:46.564
I would have said: "Crazy!
00:54:47.165 --> 00:54:50.250
I am here to prolong life
and not to end life.
00:54:50.345 --> 00:54:51.438
As a doctor."
00:55:10.595 --> 00:55:12.462
- Does it hurt?
- No.
00:55:32.958 --> 00:55:34.754
Nature is something wonderful.
00:55:35.335 --> 00:55:37.501
I think Nature and God.
00:55:38.113 --> 00:55:40.011
We were made by God.
00:55:40.889 --> 00:55:43.318
I do not know whether
I can believe that,
00:55:43.430 --> 00:55:45.303
but I do believe in
00:55:47.368 --> 00:55:50.501
a good God who does not
want us to suffer.
00:55:51.038 --> 00:55:53.359
He does not want us to...
00:55:54.484 --> 00:55:55.766
to suffer unbearably.
00:55:55.945 --> 00:55:57.766
Suffering is
00:55:57.915 --> 00:56:00.060
made by human beings.
00:56:00.248 --> 00:56:02.049
At least partly.
00:56:02.698 --> 00:56:06.868
You know, when I save someone
who has a heart attack,
00:56:07.306 --> 00:56:08.912
or by reanimation,
00:56:09.248 --> 00:56:11.616
maybe God would have wanted
to take him back,
00:56:12.272 --> 00:56:13.914
to end his life.
00:56:14.286 --> 00:56:18.621
And then I stop God from
taking him up to heaven,
00:56:20.281 --> 00:56:22.666
and two years later he dies
from a very bad cancer
00:56:22.768 --> 00:56:24.846
with an awful lot of suffering.
00:56:25.900 --> 00:56:30.242
I do not really know whether
suffering is made by God,
00:56:30.335 --> 00:56:32.528
whether it is not more made by men.
00:56:32.935 --> 00:56:35.257
And I think God hasn't
only given us the
00:56:35.331 --> 00:56:37.489
possibility to do these blood tests
00:56:37.575 --> 00:56:40.067
and find out what we can do
against illnesses.
00:56:40.491 --> 00:56:43.012
He also has given us the possibility
00:56:43.173 --> 00:56:46.763
to give assisted dying
with wonderful medication,
00:56:47.421 --> 00:56:48.990
without suffering at all.
00:56:50.154 --> 00:56:51.590
And this is not a sin.
00:56:52.285 --> 00:56:53.911
I am convinced 100%.
00:56:54.431 --> 00:56:56.550
If it was a sin,
I wasn't that happy.
00:57:08.623 --> 00:57:11.724
When my father had his second stroke
00:57:12.021 --> 00:57:13.521
couldn't talk anymore,
00:57:14.106 --> 00:57:15.906
had hemiplegia
00:57:16.240 --> 00:57:19.725
and he tried to kill himself
taking all the medication,
00:57:19.912 --> 00:57:22.334
all the pills he found in my house.
00:57:22.643 --> 00:57:24.635
Then showed that he was going to jump
00:57:24.691 --> 00:57:26.772
in front of a train to kill himself.
00:57:27.776 --> 00:57:32.449
This made me have contact
with assisted dying for the first time.
00:57:34.900 --> 00:57:37.298
I did love my father very much,
00:57:38.033 --> 00:57:40.079
I did not want to let him go.
00:57:40.973 --> 00:57:44.028
I did want to give him
a palliative way of dying
00:57:44.081 --> 00:57:45.088
at my home.
00:57:45.136 --> 00:57:47.737
He would have never ever
had to go to a hospital.
00:57:50.658 --> 00:57:51.803
One of the point was
00:57:52.030 --> 00:57:54.765
that we were brought up very religiously
00:57:55.439 --> 00:57:57.827
and I would have loved to ask my father:
00:57:58.216 --> 00:58:00.842
"How do you cope with
your religious beliefs?
00:58:01.524 --> 00:58:03.694
How do you cope with the sin
00:58:04.037 --> 00:58:05.608
that you are killing yourself?"
00:58:06.636 --> 00:58:09.611
And I couldn't ask him
because he couldn't answer.
00:58:09.714 --> 00:58:11.966
He couldn't find a word,
he couldn't write,
00:58:12.106 --> 00:58:13.566
he couldn't express himself,
00:58:13.776 --> 00:58:16.987
unless saying yes or no with his head.
00:58:17.476 --> 00:58:19.077
So I did not ask.
00:58:19.302 --> 00:58:20.938
But when you sit
00:58:22.004 --> 00:58:23.613
on the bed with your father,
00:58:23.776 --> 00:58:26.949
he drinks the deadly medicine,
00:58:27.605 --> 00:58:30.145
puts his head on your shoulder and dies,
00:58:31.100 --> 00:58:33.825
after having had a good sip of red wine,
00:58:35.574 --> 00:58:37.933
I think then you start asking yourself:
00:58:38.631 --> 00:58:41.013
"Is palliative care really the only way?
00:58:41.888 --> 00:58:44.519
Isn't there another way that
you should accept also?"
00:58:52.137 --> 00:58:54.075
After he had died,
00:58:54.287 --> 00:58:56.247
I told my sisters and brothers:
00:58:56.325 --> 00:58:58.513
"Do not tell anybody why he died.
00:58:58.836 --> 00:59:01.524
On the funeral we are not
going to tell anybody."
00:59:02.793 --> 00:59:04.080
I had bad conscience
00:59:04.514 --> 00:59:07.126
being a doctor and
being a religious person.
00:59:08.371 --> 00:59:10.245
And then one of my sisters said:
00:59:10.506 --> 00:59:12.171
"I'm not going to tell a lie,
00:59:12.390 --> 00:59:15.773
if somebody asks me what did he die of,
00:59:16.175 --> 00:59:18.739
I will not tell - another stroke."
00:59:19.485 --> 00:59:21.928
There were 150 people
00:59:22.806 --> 00:59:24.049
on his funeral,
00:59:26.007 --> 00:59:28.015
I had to stand up and say:
00:59:28.103 --> 00:59:29.946
"Yes, I accepted an assisted dying",
00:59:30.047 --> 00:59:32.318
which was very difficult for me.
00:59:32.835 --> 00:59:35.367
But it was, it was OK,
and nobody complained.
00:59:35.481 --> 00:59:36.660
They all understood.
00:59:36.758 --> 00:59:40.106
They all knew my father very well
and they could understand.
00:59:41.970 --> 00:59:44.560
Which made it a little bit easier for me,
00:59:44.652 --> 00:59:45.826
but not easy.
00:59:53.421 --> 00:59:54.923
She´ll be here any minute.
00:59:56.436 --> 00:59:58.236
So, I'll sit here.
01:00:02.089 --> 01:00:04.226
Maybe, you could sit on the bed,
if you like.
01:00:04.292 --> 01:00:05.410
That's OK for me.
01:00:05.506 --> 01:00:07.352
Would you like?
Is it OK for you?
01:00:07.476 --> 01:00:08.780
It's OK for me.
01:00:09.114 --> 01:00:11.173
Then your sister maybe can sit here.
01:00:13.083 --> 01:00:15.254
Oh we have talking a lot.
01:00:15.576 --> 01:00:17.372
We have been talking a lot now.
01:00:17.602 --> 01:00:18.637
- Good.
01:00:19.628 --> 01:00:22.028
- Good talks.
- Yes.
01:00:23.139 --> 01:00:25.443
- I always...
- That is Bridget.
01:00:25.709 --> 01:00:27.414
Bridget come in. Come.
01:00:28.414 --> 01:00:31.085
I also mentioned the fact
01:00:31.375 --> 01:00:35.615
that she tried to end her life
already before.
01:00:37.706 --> 01:00:39.715
And we had a talk about
01:00:40.374 --> 01:00:43.249
how important it would be
that she could do it at home.
01:00:44.812 --> 01:00:47.554
I have been talking
01:00:47.801 --> 01:00:50.950
about finding the right time
for assisted dying,
01:00:51.376 --> 01:00:52.555
with Janette.
01:00:53.721 --> 01:00:56.161
And she definitely
01:00:56.384 --> 01:00:58.994
seems to be 100% sure
01:00:59.924 --> 01:01:01.924
that tomorrow is the right time.
01:01:02.074 --> 01:01:04.917
As you told me before
I talked to Janette,
01:01:07.573 --> 01:01:10.211
she is of sound mind,
01:01:10.301 --> 01:01:12.710
she knows exactly, she can explain.
01:01:13.551 --> 01:01:17.494
- She has been thinking about it
for a long time. - Yes.
01:01:17.627 --> 01:01:21.453
She is not influenced by anybody else
to do this.
01:01:22.797 --> 01:01:27.680
She's rather held back by you to do this.
01:01:28.336 --> 01:01:32.062
So, definitely, she is not pushed
by anybody to end her life.
01:01:32.904 --> 01:01:35.955
She´s suffering from an incurable illness
01:01:36.111 --> 01:01:38.071
which we cannot stop.
01:01:38.198 --> 01:01:41.638
If I would have any possibility
to stop your illness,
01:01:41.849 --> 01:01:44.117
I would not give you an assisted dying.
01:01:44.586 --> 01:01:46.113
Then I would stop your illness,
01:01:46.207 --> 01:01:48.838
and you would not ask me
for an assisted dying then.
01:01:49.065 --> 01:01:51.549
That is absolutely true.
01:01:53.431 --> 01:01:58.173
So, all the circumstances
for an assisted dying for tomorrow
01:01:58.925 --> 01:01:59.992
are given.
01:02:00.214 --> 01:02:04.351
I can find no reason why I should say no.
01:02:05.875 --> 01:02:08.580
You are very happy about it.
01:02:09.790 --> 01:02:11.764
We can see how relieved you are
01:02:11.949 --> 01:02:15.005
when we talk about,
"yes, tomorrow is going to be
01:02:15.154 --> 01:02:17.668
your big day of leaving."
01:02:19.467 --> 01:02:21.667
I can also understand that you are sad.
01:02:22.873 --> 01:02:24.335
No, I'm not sad, no.
01:02:24.890 --> 01:02:27.358
- Not really sad?
- No, not at all sad, in fact.
01:02:29.252 --> 01:02:31.939
I have my reservations, but I'm not sad.
01:02:33.249 --> 01:02:35.783
I have been ever so careful in my life
01:02:36.023 --> 01:02:38.972
to develop very fundamental philosophies,
01:02:39.856 --> 01:02:43.252
and I had to think very carefully
of the last few weeks.
01:02:44.096 --> 01:02:47.166
whether I was even prepared
to make any exceptions,
01:02:47.276 --> 01:02:50.586
simply because a member
of my family was involved.
01:02:50.719 --> 01:02:52.616
The answer is no.
01:02:54.686 --> 01:02:55.780
- OK?
- Yes.
01:02:55.898 --> 01:02:58.144
That's OK.
That's OK.
01:02:58.309 --> 01:03:00.852
I have been thinking about
what happens afterwards.
01:03:01.310 --> 01:03:03.367
You know, it's so nice to talk to someone,
01:03:03.698 --> 01:03:05.534
to see your smile.
01:03:06.371 --> 01:03:08.038
To see that you are relieved,
01:03:08.859 --> 01:03:10.884
and all of a sudden, there's only,
01:03:11.221 --> 01:03:14.679
sort of, the cocoon,
and the butterfly is gone.
01:03:16.143 --> 01:03:19.551
We will never know, but we will
definitely all go that way.
01:03:21.178 --> 01:03:24.114
The matter is only how we do that way.
01:03:26.165 --> 01:03:27.846
Let me give you a hug.
01:03:28.396 --> 01:03:30.725
Thank you so much.
01:03:31.361 --> 01:03:32.361
Thank you.
01:03:33.762 --> 01:03:34.895
See you tomorrow.
01:03:37.966 --> 01:03:40.524
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you, Bridget.
01:03:41.743 --> 01:03:44.995
Actually, you are as strong
as your mother,
01:03:45.376 --> 01:03:47.550
but it's... I know how difficult it is.
01:03:53.590 --> 01:03:55.252
Are you at peace with the universe?
01:03:55.338 --> 01:03:59.940
I am totally at peace with the universe.
01:04:00.730 --> 01:04:05.735
- I welcome this with open arms.
- OK.
01:04:07.154 --> 01:04:10.708
I need to do this
01:04:11.115 --> 01:04:13.302
- to get my peace.
- We got that.
01:04:13.467 --> 01:04:15.263
- We accept.
- We are OK with that.
01:04:15.361 --> 01:04:17.115
- I have to...
- OK, we understand.
01:04:17.216 --> 01:04:20.371
We never have been against that. Right?
01:04:20.949 --> 01:04:23.180
- I don't think we need to make...
- No, can I say...
01:04:23.370 --> 01:04:25.578
- No one's stopping you here.
- No, nobody´s stopping.
01:04:25.703 --> 01:04:27.611
- You have the option.
- No one is coercing you.
01:04:28.154 --> 01:04:29.428
You have the option.
01:04:29.710 --> 01:04:32.265
There are options,
you know what they are.
01:04:33.030 --> 01:04:34.553
There are, if you wish.
01:04:34.798 --> 01:04:36.780
If you don't wish that's fine, as well.
01:04:36.961 --> 01:04:39.346
Simon and I will do whatever we can,
01:04:39.705 --> 01:04:41.667
to improve quality of life,
01:04:42.465 --> 01:04:45.253
and if you decide,
01:04:46.871 --> 01:04:48.480
oh we hope you do,
01:04:48.777 --> 01:04:50.254
but also we respect your wishes,
01:04:50.371 --> 01:04:51.568
if you decide
01:04:51.873 --> 01:04:54.381
that actually you would like to postpone,
01:04:54.630 --> 01:04:56.745
we will be more than happy
01:04:57.007 --> 01:04:59.049
to do whatever it takes
01:04:59.691 --> 01:05:01.668
and we can drive you,
01:05:01.913 --> 01:05:04.046
in a Bentley, private jet,
01:05:04.461 --> 01:05:06.144
whatever, to get you here.
01:05:06.401 --> 01:05:07.482
If that is what you wish.
01:05:07.674 --> 01:05:10.853
If it's not, then we´re just
putting that on the table
01:05:11.118 --> 01:05:12.665
just to make sure that you...
01:05:12.766 --> 01:05:14.250
make sure you are aware.
01:05:14.617 --> 01:05:16.778
It's all we are saying,
it's all we are saying.
01:05:16.978 --> 01:05:18.045
Isn´t it, Simon?
01:05:19.438 --> 01:05:21.872
You are not being pressurized.
01:05:22.505 --> 01:05:23.630
There are options,
01:05:23.856 --> 01:05:27.473
and we could make things
work on a grand scale.
01:05:27.610 --> 01:05:28.677
Can't we, Simon?
01:05:30.430 --> 01:05:32.023
That's all we need to know.
01:05:33.158 --> 01:05:35.383
And if it's six months,
and you want to...
01:05:37.123 --> 01:05:38.406
to come back in six months,
01:05:38.823 --> 01:05:39.917
we will be here,
01:05:40.269 --> 01:05:41.936
and we´ll bring you back.
01:05:42.112 --> 01:05:44.337
I can only say
01:05:44.447 --> 01:05:46.009
thank you to that.
01:05:46.090 --> 01:05:48.346
- If you don't want that, ...
- To both of you.
01:05:48.408 --> 01:05:50.069
- that's also fine.
- But,
01:05:51.659 --> 01:05:53.708
having got this far,
01:05:54.527 --> 01:05:58.903
and having been
such a tremendous struggle,
01:05:59.742 --> 01:06:02.292
- I...
- That's my point.
01:06:02.425 --> 01:06:06.058
- I have the two options on Thursday.
- Yes, you do.
01:06:06.219 --> 01:06:08.384
- I can either live
- Yes.
01:06:08.662 --> 01:06:10.245
- or die.
- Yes.
01:06:10.631 --> 01:06:13.134
- And I am going to take
- OK.
01:06:13.389 --> 01:06:15.687
- the second option.
- That's your prerogative.
01:06:16.009 --> 01:06:17.195
That's your prerogative.
01:06:18.836 --> 01:06:20.461
- Because...
- But,
01:06:21.007 --> 01:06:22.241
there is another option
01:06:22.636 --> 01:06:24.621
and you just need to know
what that option looks like,
01:06:24.667 --> 01:06:26.860
and we tell you what the option
looks like,
01:06:27.233 --> 01:06:29.900
and that is better quality of life,
01:06:30.556 --> 01:06:32.964
and you´re doing this
whenever you want to.
01:06:34.295 --> 01:06:37.171
- My quality of life
- I know.
01:06:37.558 --> 01:06:41.855
is not going to get any better.
01:06:42.862 --> 01:06:45.877
It can only get worse.
01:06:46.660 --> 01:06:49.543
You know that. And you know that.
01:06:52.187 --> 01:06:54.958
This is difficult to accept.
01:06:55.932 --> 01:06:58.636
But it is a fact of life
01:06:59.115 --> 01:07:03.035
or, in my case, a fact of death.
01:07:04.523 --> 01:07:09.322
I have been so sorry,
01:07:09.854 --> 01:07:13.236
for the sadness, the sorrow
01:07:13.627 --> 01:07:18.833
that I have inflicted on other people.
01:07:21.068 --> 01:07:23.052
I am only sad
01:07:23.667 --> 01:07:27.864
that my life has got to the stage
01:07:28.310 --> 01:07:33.393
where this, I feel, is necessary.
01:07:33.688 --> 01:07:35.751
Remember, I can see my destiny right now.
01:07:36.907 --> 01:07:39.442
- Yes, of course you can, Simon.
- Right?
01:07:41.824 --> 01:07:42.977
I'm good.
01:07:43.095 --> 01:07:46.015
I had the same conversation
with Chandria six weeks ago.
01:07:46.121 --> 01:07:47.363
I know you did.
01:07:47.738 --> 01:07:50.965
And the fact that you can see your destiny
01:07:55.406 --> 01:07:56.406
I find
01:07:59.748 --> 01:08:01.538
that more tragic
01:08:02.244 --> 01:08:04.720
because I know
01:08:05.532 --> 01:08:07.205
that at some time,
01:08:08.021 --> 01:08:10.830
that you are, perhaps,
01:08:13.615 --> 01:08:16.575
going to have to make
01:08:17.763 --> 01:08:19.835
the same choice
01:08:21.223 --> 01:08:22.490
as I've made.
01:08:42.571 --> 01:08:44.839
I have to push the button.
01:08:47.942 --> 01:08:49.184
It's a big thing
01:08:50.295 --> 01:08:51.537
to press that button.
01:08:53.898 --> 01:08:55.358
And I'm curious,
01:08:55.995 --> 01:08:58.284
´cause I want to know what´s happening.
01:09:01.296 --> 01:09:02.850
If I press that button,
01:09:03.384 --> 01:09:07.398
is that the absolute, total end of me?
01:09:07.999 --> 01:09:08.999
I don't know.
01:09:10.754 --> 01:09:12.965
Oh, but I am just so curious.
01:09:13.296 --> 01:09:14.962
I want to know.
01:09:15.979 --> 01:09:17.736
And I so much,
01:09:18.153 --> 01:09:20.801
in many ways, want to know
01:09:21.216 --> 01:09:24.200
what is happening on Earth.
01:09:25.680 --> 01:09:28.447
There is so many things
01:09:29.407 --> 01:09:31.866
that I really still
01:09:32.662 --> 01:09:34.975
would want to know about.
01:10:25.042 --> 01:10:28.761
Do you still definitely want
to end your life today?
01:10:28.894 --> 01:10:30.519
- Definitely.
- Definitely?
01:10:30.804 --> 01:10:33.318
- No change in your mind?
- No change at all.
01:10:35.027 --> 01:10:38.456
I herewith order the foundation
"Eternal SPIRIT" to transport my body
01:10:38.534 --> 01:10:40.554
to the crematory in Basel
01:10:41.117 --> 01:10:45.234
and to get my death certificate
as well as my urn from the authorities
01:10:45.611 --> 01:10:47.923
and to send both to my home country.
01:10:48.529 --> 01:10:51.267
Do you definitely not
want to have it sent?
01:10:51.294 --> 01:10:52.320
No.
01:10:54.605 --> 01:10:57.304
What would you... well, this is
a two day process.
01:10:57.440 --> 01:10:58.938
- Right.
- We will not be here.
01:10:59.180 --> 01:11:00.330
- We won't be here.
- No.
01:11:00.381 --> 01:11:03.206
- But I'm happy to come back
to Switzerland. - No, no, no.
01:11:03.318 --> 01:11:05.211
But, could we have the ashes sent to us,
01:11:05.273 --> 01:11:07.939
so we could scatter them
somewhere where you desire?
01:11:09.075 --> 01:11:10.421
We'll be able to do...
01:11:10.675 --> 01:11:14.093
I'm quiet happy with Switzerland, yes.
01:11:14.164 --> 01:11:16.123
That means we will have to come back.
01:11:17.812 --> 01:11:20.910
You want your ashes scattered by someone
who doesn't even know or care?
01:11:22.981 --> 01:11:25.965
- What is your wish?
- It's a two day process, you cannot...
01:11:26.082 --> 01:11:27.997
May I say something?
01:11:29.552 --> 01:11:32.217
Janette, you are going your way.
01:11:32.486 --> 01:11:35.605
- Yes.
- After you die,
01:11:35.699 --> 01:11:38.421
you are somewhere,
your spirit will be somewhere.
01:11:38.706 --> 01:11:40.743
We don't know, we will meet sometime,
01:11:40.786 --> 01:11:42.912
and your ashes will stay back here.
01:11:43.337 --> 01:11:45.461
Your children will have to go on living.
01:11:46.288 --> 01:11:48.975
And I would... I would do them...
01:11:49.796 --> 01:11:51.499
They fulfill your last wish,
01:11:51.980 --> 01:11:54.063
having come to be with you here.
01:11:54.163 --> 01:11:57.085
I would like you to fulfill
their last wish,
01:11:57.546 --> 01:12:00.069
to be able to scatter the ashes in England
01:12:00.228 --> 01:12:02.131
on a place that you like.
01:12:03.096 --> 01:12:05.494
If that is what they want, yes.
01:12:05.775 --> 01:12:07.264
- Would that be...
- If that's...
01:12:08.679 --> 01:12:11.077
- I think that would be important.
- OK.
01:12:12.227 --> 01:12:13.760
- Right?
- OK.
01:12:16.892 --> 01:12:18.521
I'm not scared.
01:12:23.954 --> 01:12:27.376
You are a very remarkable person.
01:12:27.523 --> 01:12:29.487
No, I'm not, you are.
01:12:29.650 --> 01:12:30.733
Now, listen.
01:12:32.478 --> 01:12:34.970
- When it's Simon's time,
- I know.
01:12:35.919 --> 01:12:38.008
- No, listen.
- I´ll look after him.
01:12:38.116 --> 01:12:40.608
I don't think this is a good time
to talk about me.
01:12:40.749 --> 01:12:44.139
- Simon, it´s a very good time.
- Everyone knows my wishes.
01:12:44.581 --> 01:12:47.832
But you'll be able to do that more easily
01:12:48.510 --> 01:12:51.424
because you know now what's involved.
01:12:51.684 --> 01:12:55.131
- Yes.
- It will not be as stressful, OK?
01:12:55.832 --> 01:12:57.425
I will look after him.
01:12:57.537 --> 01:12:59.547
I´m gonna make sure he is OK.
01:13:01.411 --> 01:13:03.613
He will be. He will be.
01:13:51.278 --> 01:13:56.337
It is 15 grams of sodium pentobarbital
which is a sleeping medication.
01:13:59.274 --> 01:14:01.059
If you give it in such a high dose
01:14:01.114 --> 01:14:04.681
it is a very, very big overdose,
these 15 grams.
01:14:07.194 --> 01:14:10.227
It leads immediately to heart and...
01:14:10.654 --> 01:14:13.342
and also breathing failure.
01:14:14.652 --> 01:14:17.925
So, within about 4 minutes,
if you give it intravenously,
01:14:18.023 --> 01:14:20.483
within 30 seconds you fall asleep.
01:14:20.876 --> 01:14:22.917
Very, very deep anesthetic sleep.
01:14:23.205 --> 01:14:26.527
And then within about 4 minutes
you have a heart failure.
01:14:28.027 --> 01:14:29.027
Ready?
01:14:29.196 --> 01:14:31.174
- So we do questions now.
- Yes.
01:14:31.320 --> 01:14:32.531
What is your name?
01:14:33.001 --> 01:14:35.420
My name is Janette Butlin.
01:14:35.751 --> 01:14:37.368
And what is your date of birth?
01:14:37.681 --> 01:14:41.754
23rd of June 1944.
01:14:42.278 --> 01:14:44.884
And can you tell me
why you came to "lifecircle?"
01:14:45.781 --> 01:14:48.644
I have muscular dystrophy
01:14:49.308 --> 01:14:51.487
which is now so bad,
01:14:51.902 --> 01:14:56.433
that I find life far too difficult.
01:14:58.154 --> 01:15:00.364
I have set you an intravenous needle.
01:15:00.885 --> 01:15:03.983
Do you know what is going to happen
if you open this strip?
01:15:04.343 --> 01:15:05.343
Yes, I do.
01:15:05.826 --> 01:15:06.951
What will happen?
01:15:07.240 --> 01:15:08.325
I will die.
01:15:08.607 --> 01:15:10.364
- You will die, yes.
- Yes.
01:15:10.994 --> 01:15:13.539
Now Janette, if you like to die now,
01:15:13.720 --> 01:15:16.237
you are allowed to open
this perfusion yourself.
01:15:17.244 --> 01:15:18.244
Right.
01:16:29.197 --> 01:16:30.353
Bridget?
01:16:31.089 --> 01:16:34.276
Would you open the window a little bit?
01:16:42.867 --> 01:16:44.067
That's good.
01:16:48.480 --> 01:16:49.843
She's free now.
01:19:02.359 --> 01:19:05.129
I'm sad that she's gone.
01:19:06.583 --> 01:19:07.983
I'll never see her again.
01:19:10.470 --> 01:19:12.909
It has certainly changed me.
01:19:13.070 --> 01:19:15.611
It has changed my attitude
towards the future.
01:19:15.963 --> 01:19:18.253
There's not much of it left.
01:19:22.568 --> 01:19:24.588
I'm hoping that by the time
01:19:24.974 --> 01:19:26.890
I get to my 70s,
01:19:27.505 --> 01:19:31.763
this choice will be available
and understood and recognized
01:19:31.885 --> 01:19:33.169
and accepted.
01:19:34.585 --> 01:19:35.833
It will just be a choice,
01:19:35.934 --> 01:19:38.000
it's not something I will or won't do.
01:19:38.094 --> 01:19:40.676
I can't say now. I have no idea.
01:19:42.891 --> 01:19:45.024
But I hope the choice is there.
01:21:25.141 --> 01:21:27.241
Editing captions:
Alexandra Strelková, Michal Tencer
01:23:14.820 --> 01:23:19.897
For Janette