A look at compulsive hoarding, suggesting it may be a separate, neurologically…
Packrat
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
Filmmaker Kris Montag's father chained a row of shopping carts to the front-yard fence of the family's Brooklyn home. He piled stacks of old newspapers in the kitchen until it became impossible to use the sink; when his wife threw them away, he became furious. The father of cinematographer and co-producer Jessica Jennings lives on a farm, so his 'collecting' is less obvious, until he takes you into his enormous barn, filled to the ceiling with items he thinks might be useful someday.
Hoarding behavior like this can seem amusing, unless you have to live with it every day. This compelling personal documentary takes us inside two families whose lives have been shaped by parents who are 'packrats,' and have trouble balancing their love for their spouses and children with their obsessive accumulation of 'things.'
It also looks at what we know about the causes and progression of this odd but by no means uncommon phenomenon. Many clinicians and researchers now believe that hoarding behavior is related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), though it may also sometimes be a symptom of Alzheimer's or other dementias. Montag interviews a social worker who talks about the difficulty of dealing with elderly hoarders in a hospital environment, and with Randy Frost, a leading clinician and researcher, who addresses the hope of treatment for the disorder. She also introduces the owner of Disaster Masters, a company specializing in crisis management for hoarders whose collections have created serious health and safety problems in their homes.
'I am currently working with a person who is a hoarder. The documentary helped me to see beyond the clutter and to understand the motivation behind the hoarding behavior.' - Donna Phelps, LSW
'A courageous, compelling personal documentary about Montag's late father, who had a pathological need to collect and hoard all kinds of clutter, turning the house into a junk-pile inferno. Montag goes beyond her own family to talk to psychologists and also to others who have to live with a disturbed packrat.' - Gerald Peary, Boston Phoenix
'It's perfectly normal to collect...For some people, though, attachments to objects can go overboard. Montag's documentary personalizes what textbooks dehumanize. Hoarding isn't just an unhealthy behavior, there's a person behind it.' - Stina Chyn, Film Threat
'People with a loved one afflicted by hoarding will recognize their own lives in the experience revealed here. For clinicians seeking to put a face on a textbook description, Packrat will help them appreciate the complex family dynamics and hidden human pain associated with the disorder.' - Rod Williams, PhD, Clinical Psychologist
'At once an entertaining portrait of an eccentric yet familiar behavior and a testimony to family members' quite long term suffering in the face of mental illness. Recommended.' - Video Librarian
Citation
Main credits
Montag, Kris Britt (film director)
Other credits
Alyer J. Breau, editor; Jessica Jennings, director of photography; music, Bonnie Janofsky.
Distributor subjects
Brain Disorders; Fanlight Collection; Mental Illness; Psychology; Social WorkKeywords
WEBVTT
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I think it\'s a fascinating problem. I
think that behavior itself is quite
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fascinating. The ways in which the
reasoning and the reasons for saving
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is the same as it is for other people. It\'s
just that the way in which those reasons are
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applied is different. I think people who
have this problem were fascinating. I enjoy
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talking to them that they\'re ah, all different kinds
of people, but yet there are some, there are some
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quality about them that makes them more fascinating
to me. My collection is mostly stuff that
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could be used at some point in the future. The big question is, will
it be used? Packrat just pile things up, coz they want their space for
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themselves. So if they did pile
everything around the space and
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they could get in to where
they were... the space
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and nobody else can. My name
is Kris Britt Montag and
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I\'m the daughter of a packrat.
I\'m doing this project
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because when my father died,
our house was so full of
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pissed collection as we put it politely
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that it was just completely traumatic for
us to try to clean it up and organize
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everything, not to mention how, how it
was living with it, before that. But
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particularly, when he died, I
think it was just shocking
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how much work it was and how,
how much disarray there was
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and how many things hadn\'t been taking
care of that that should have been.
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[music] My father
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was born in the early \'20s and he
was a child during the depression,
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you know, a lot of people think that, that\'s
connected to packratting and he went to Kings
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Point which is at Long Island.
And he worked
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as an engineer on oil tankers. And
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he was delivering supplies
there in Vietnam and he was
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delivering like grain(ph) to Russia in the \'80s and
so it\'s really interesting. He got to go all over
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the world. He always brought us stuff
back and it was really cool. Then
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ultimately, he was forced to retire
and he came home and that was
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difficult. Part of the reason that it was
difficult is as a merchant marine you go away
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for months at a time. Ah, and so
you\'re not with your family and then
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like in our case my mother the mother
and father. And then my father would
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come home and wanna take his place
as the head of the family and ah,
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there\'d be a lot of conflict over that. So... but
it would only be for three months and then he would
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go away again. That when he retired, I think it was
like everybody was just not knowing how to like
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be a family, like that. He had manners.
I mean, ah, he was
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ah, when you saw him meet
somebody new or whatever it is
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ah, strikingly ah, plight for
a gentleman like. Sometimes
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he was away for nine months out
of the year. So my mother, with
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five children, my older sister
had gone off to college but
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ah, it was a battle keeping us busy and
keeping us right in school and stuff.
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He didn\'t have an enjoyable life.
Why? I don\'t know.
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I think he enjoyed it when he was on the ship. Yeah,
because he was away from his responsibilities. He loved...
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Well, but he... ah, they would... a different type
of responsibility. Yeah. He was still responsible.
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He had people under him on the ship. And you\'re
correct. He love the sailing, he love the going to the
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different foreign ports. He love the
meeting of different peoples and things
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like that. And I think that
was really his, his life.
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Right. And he... Coz I\'ve once her
mother, before she married him.
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And he was regimented on the ship.
Yeah. He couldn\'t quota(ph), he
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couldn\'t amass things and things had
to be done when it were done. You
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are ah, tanker and you had ah, a, leak.
It had to be fixed now, not
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tomorrow, so he was regiment. He
was always collecting things, but
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it got totally out of hand when ah,
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towels(ph) sheets were piling up in
the living room that he either found
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in the street or that we had that broke and
he couldn\'t bare to throw anything out.
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Packratting I guess we grow
up with when we\'re kids.
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Later on, in life ah, after
I left I\'ve saw really
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what he was collecting and took notice
that. Whereas when we were kids or young
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adults, teens, we really didn\'t
care about it. It was, was
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nothing, it didn\'t affect us.
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The local high school was
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throwing out this school desks and he
like brought all of those, catch up and
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carts where he would file them up and brings things home and then
like the shopping carts couldn\'t fit in the house so they were
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chained in the front yard. And that
was pretty crazy. We had like broken
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washers, we have broken toilets in the backyard
at least they weren\'t in the frontward, I guess
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the toilets, but the washers and the,
and the shopping carts and the desks
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were on the front yard. So that was like what
retirement was like for him. I don\'t know
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what he would have done if he didn\'t
packrat. Because I don\'t know
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of any hobbies he had. When he\'s
younger, yeah he went fishing.
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He had a lot of free time on a sense.
You know, he, he... if you don\'t keep
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occupied with hobbies, or ah, activities,
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social groups whatever and it
seem like he tried introverted to
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later. Are you really didn\'t have friends?
He did have one or
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two friends, but like he wouldn\'t see
them for like a long time. He is
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alone, I think. Very alone. Very alone.
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And I think he was really bored
that\'s why he collected stuff.
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I don\'t think he did it for monetary right, coz they,
they was all... it was all garbage. He would never use
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this stuff. I couldn\'t see where he would use
them all garbage for. And he was 60 years old
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whatever you know, retired. Why
he collecting garbages for.
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Oh, he\'s... he collected washers, coz he
needed a part of motor out on one of them?
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I mean, I don\'t know. I don\'t
have advances for that. Coming
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into ah, the area and seeing desks
from my high school packratting
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is one thing. I mean, I think he was an
actual junk collector. The people that I
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grow up with you\'re moving across the street
they clean their house at. I\'m hearing stories
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that he\'s in there ah, pa... he had
a snorkel on digging stuff out and
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dragging it over here. He would lose there
and things that were important like big
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checks or he would hide them, tuck them
away. If you were lucky to finally
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sit in the living room that you\'re pretty
lucky because that was loaded. And in the
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kitchen you had his sit which
was neither big one though.
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Then you had one near the refrigerator.
You\'re even basically just to sit
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slightly on the... around the table and
everything else around it was, was clustered
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in. And you had to move things to
get in to closets. In the living
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room, he had this stereo system
buried under all of his stuff.
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So it always just like from the floor
or the ceiling just piled up everywhere
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even though he knew... he probably knew
that being a packrat a lot of people
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would get a bad re... he would get
a bad wrap from people to found
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out that he was a packrat. So he
kinda kept it quite and kept it
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under the, under the hat. If I remember
right there were newspaper around the
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sink in the kitchen, I\'d say weighs
high 3 foot, 4 foot where she couldn\'t
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get at it could coz sink at all like
a, a wall. Ah, when she did get
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through it, he took the handles off
the ah, faucets, so she couldn\'t
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use it. Now that was a notion to
me that there was something wrong.
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Mostly, he was so supportive of everything
I ever tried to do. But yet, we were also
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secretive about all the stuff in the house, so I
just... I don\'t know how he would have reacted
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to this at all and it worries me of course,
because he can\'t speak for himself.
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My name
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is Jessica Jennings and uhm, I
am the daughter of a packrat.
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I am a packrat, all right.
Ah, the question of
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why I don\'t think I\'m ah, ah, a
really terminal(ph) packrat is that
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I collect stuff actually they could
be used and hopefully, I\'ll use it.
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The biggest problem when you\'re a
real collector, ah, real packrat is
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a, is finding room to work. This building
is ah, a 112feet long and 30 feet
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wide comprising 4800 square
feet of floor space ah,
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the ah, the rocks on the side are each
four feet deep and 8 feet wide, trophy
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high by the way. These are shelves
which recycled from a a home
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products that went out of business. And
these are the shelves has the boxes
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on it. All the boxes are labeled
over stuff in the box is listed
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in a computerized database. Everybody needs
hardware everybody needs not invokes
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and washers and screws and powder pins and
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lynchpins. And so this is some of my hard work.
This is not organized the way it\'s going
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to be organized.
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[music]
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We had a kitchen, you walked in the kitchen
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and then a dining room which was never a dining
room as long as I can remember. And then
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a living room very big living
room and, and den area. And
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the kitchen was a mess. I don\'t know what was in there.
But the, the dining room had his desk in... have a huge
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desk in there. I remember
disposal lighters,
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hundreds of them. And he had them
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stocked like so they were all standing up
right, but with big rubber bands around them.
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I have to say I probably notice that the inside of
their houses looked a little bit different than the
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inside of my house.
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But I don\'t know, I, I actually
always thought we were
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pretty well adjusted. My room, had a
washer and drier in it. A washer and
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drier, then I remember getting delivered
to my grandmother\'s house in 1976,
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I was four years old. I
remember the moving truck.
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I remember them carrying these gold
you know, the gold appliance color
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into the house. So the washer
and drier was in my bedroom.
00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:24.999
The fact... Where should have... have been?
In the basement,
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hooked up and being used. So when I was 15,
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I had like a breakdown. After a second.
So you\'re saying that they were
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in your room that (crosstalk) (inaudible)
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. They were in my bedroom. I\'m usable in
a bedroom. It were in a bedroom on the
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first floor when they should have been.
Nowhere near any plumbing.
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So they were there in my bedroom. And I
had it covered with a... like a Mexican
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blanket that my grandmother had
or something. I tried everything.
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Well, it\'s a kind of a big TV
stand you know. Oh, my god,
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I live with that washer and drier for years
and years and years and years. Although
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I do have some organization here
running from s... ah, screws down that
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end and fourth, quarter 20 hardware
up to bigger stuff up here.
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Eventually, I\'m gonna take there last track
that have put in the bar and we\'ll have large
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pull out ah, sections in it
with shelves on both sides
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and that\'s one... that would be the ultimate
organization for the hardware. Jars of all sizes are
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good for storage, never
there\'s a jar going to trash,
00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:39.999
ever. The people save things coz
they think they\'re gonna use them.
00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:44.999
And ah, and that\'s true. And
so if I ever want a ah, 5\'8 by
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ah, four and a half inch bulk, I\'ve got to
find it by four and a half inch each bulk.
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Some things you know, like old bed
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springs. I don\'t know if I\'ll ever
use old bed springs, but I might.
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So if I can, I\'ll be able to
find them when I need them. He
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packrat knowledge also. He is like... he,
00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:14.999
he knows a little bit about everything.
His, his solid connection
00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:19.999
to other people is by giving information
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:24.999
and that fits with him being a
teacher and a collector of things,
00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:29.999
but that\'s kind of how he communicate
that\'s the level he shares information.
00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:34.999
Getting to know Jack is sharing
information. It\'s not talking about
00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:39.999
what you like to do in your spare time.
00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:44.999
What do you think you actually use that for? I don\'t
know. I\'m thinking, I\'m thinking maybe I could
00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:49.999
make little boxes or something, I
don\'t know, I have no idea. What
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:54.999
kind of stuff doesn\'t make sense?
Toothpaste caps.
00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:59.999
I think that\'s pretty bizarre and there\'s about
five of them in the, in the ah, medicine
00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:04.999
cabinet right now. Hoses from hospitals,
I think that\'s pretty weird too. Now
00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:09.999
he\'ll you that so he can use it to drain oil
or something. Barrier strips off the road,
00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:14.999
Caution Do Not Pass. Broken cabinets.
I know
00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:19.999
that I have for instance uhm, what I can
00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:24.999
see you know, uhm, this is plastic
tubing ah, somebody gave to me 20
00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:29.999
years ago. I still haven\'t figure out how I use for it.
But it\'s secretive it comes in to the house. These
00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:35.000
are screens for basement
windows that are in the house.
00:14:40.000 --> 00:14:44.999
Over the years I\'ve gotten patients
who\'ve been ah, evicted from their
00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:49.999
homes for excessive hoarding.
And I\'ve had to
00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:54.999
then deal with where do they go from here.
And I\'ve all cited they\'re all, they\'re
00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:59.999
excessive hoarding in the hospital. Ah,
I\'m in a crisis management business.
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:04.999
Disposophobia is one of many things that I do.
Uhm, I got to tell you first that I touch
00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:09.999
around as you could see behind me,
ah, I have a touch of disposophobia.
00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:14.999
I\'m not the only guy, because I believe from my
experience of being in this business for a long
00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:19.999
time that ah, about 5% of the population
suffer ah, from disposophobia,
00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:24.999
the fear of getting rid of stuff. Clatter
is a decision not made, you know. And
00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:29.999
I\'m just gonna sit it there and wait \'til later
or procrastination coz I always fits it.
00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:34.999
My plan is to put enough clutter
in the room so that it will
00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:39.999
match the most extreme hoarding we\'ve
seen and take pictures of it at
00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:44.999
that level and at various levels all the way
down to be completely clear. Ah, then what we
00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:49.999
intend to do is to show it to people have hoarding
problems and have them tell us which picture looks
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:54.999
most like their home. The people
who do this behavior aren\'t that
00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:59.999
much different than the rest of us with respect
to their relationship to possessions. And the
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:04.999
difference is that, that they apply some of
these reasons to more things. They, they
00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:09.999
think perhaps a bit more about their
possessions in a bit more complicated way
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:14.999
about their possessions than the rest of us
do. And so all of us have, have some kind of
00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:19.999
ah, empathy or feeling because we ha... we have
a little bit of that and all of us that might.
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:24.999
Because we... our lives are organized by
things. We\'re reminded of, of special
00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:29.999
times in our life by things. We
sometimes develop the relationship with
00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:34.999
a thing, or a feeling for a thing.
And it\'s the same kind of experience
00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:39.999
accepting just in exaggerated form.
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:45.000
[sil.]
00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:54.999
It\'s of limited use.
00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:59.999
So if you have a lot of books that you\'re
00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:04.999
never gonna read and they\'re
just filling up space,
00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:09.999
and the space is now
only giving you uhm, six
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:14.999
inch width pathways to
the lazy boy chair that
00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:19.999
you sleep in and use as a toilet
and you can\'t open your front
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:24.999
door and you couldn’t put anything
on refrigerator, that\'s a problem.
00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:29.999
So they... they\'re books.
But they\'re, they\'re not
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:34.999
being used. Well, the only
thing that is, is really
00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:39.999
crucial here is the extent
to which the living area is
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:44.999
hampered or impaired or cluttered. Acquiring
lots of things or saving lots of thing isn\'t
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:49.999
a problem, unless it starts to interfere
with man\'s ability to live. So
00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:54.999
once, once there is some impairment there,
once ah, an appliance can\'t be used
00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:59.999
coz it\'s too full or a room can\'t be
used, you can\'t sleep in your bed
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.999
because there\'s too much stuff, then you need to start to think
about, \"What\'s wrong here?\" Some people with this disorder who
00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:09.999
are ah, very uhm, socially depth,
very interesting, very pleasant
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.999
people to be around. There are other people with this problem
who are much, are much more difficult in their personal
00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:19.999
interaction, uhm, more difficult
to talk to, much less
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:24.999
uhm, friendly, giving and so forth.
And, and so it sort of runs the gambit
00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:29.999
with that. But there\'s something that sort of
binds them all together with this that, that I
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.999
find fascinating. And I don\'t mind interacting with
the people who were difficult to interact with.
00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:39.999
I\'ve actually had knocked down, dragged that
arguments and fights with the people, where
00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.999
ah, when love, I can\'t do it in a loving
way and help them in a nice way. I take
00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:49.999
my shoe off like a Russian in a, like the Khrushchev
and I\'m banging on the table and I scream at
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:54.999
them. Then I say, \"Okay, listen if you don\'t continue
to do this, I\'m gonna walk out with the government
00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:59.999
take care of you.\" So if love
doesn\'t work, fear does. And at
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:04.999
the end of the job, these kinds
of people ah, and I operate under
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:09.999
this, I don\'t take it personally
that no good dig goes unpunished. So
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:14.999
they, they really have to hate... it\'s like
hating a doctor when they\'ve removed their leg
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:19.999
with gangrene. You know, and said, \"All right,
cut my leg off.\" Not that... well, they can\'t
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:24.999
think about the fact that they\'d
be dead ah, without the gone leg.
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:29.999
So that\'s the way that works.
Every workshop I\'ve given, I
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:34.999
always start out, I say, \"How many of us in
this room have horror stories of hoarding?\" And
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:39.999
almost everyone raises their hand. And
I say, \"Now, who amongst us feel like
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:44.999
they may know someone personally, or might
live with someone who\'s a hoarder?\"
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:49.999
And maybe six may raise their hand. And I
say, \"Now, who\'s the very person in this
00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:54.999
person who fears that they
may have hoarding problem.\"
00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:59.999
And without doubt, every single time
there\'s at least two or three people
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.999
carefully raising their hand. And they
really are coming there to kind of
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:09.999
diagnose themselves. Ah, that they worry
about it. And those are the folks that would
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.999
be amenable to treatment if they really indeed did have
a hoarding problem. But by the end of the workshop,
00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:19.999
they figured out, they really don\'t.
Sure they have cluttering problems, like
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:24.999
a lot of us. Uhm, you know,
we have a lot of expandable
00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:29.999
income and we clutter our lives
up with lots of different things,
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:34.999
but that\'s not a hoarding problem.
Disposophobia in my mind
00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.999
is where people just ah, do
not know how to get rid of
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:44.999
stuff and they end up just dropping the stuff
wherever they happens to land when they need
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.999
to go on to another project, or when the phone
rings. Collecting is a different issue. People
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.999
there are very, very organized collectors that
go out and buy and collect stuff and have
00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.999
immaculate uhm, inventories of stuff that they\'ve
collected and they know precisely where it
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.999
is so that\'s kept in a highly
organized fashion. Disposophobia, ah,
00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:09.999
my experience is that disposophobia is
kinda like living in the middle of a junk
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:14.999
yard or people live in it and ah, to us
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:19.999
to walk in the door and say, \"How did you
do this?\" They know where everything is coz
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:24.999
most of them by and large are brilliant, bright
people. I call that man, information junkies
00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:29.999
most of the time where they
collect stuff because they like
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.999
it, they want it or they had
this idea that they\'re going to
00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:40.000
neither can use it some day in the future.
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:49.999
The one thing I remember
was uhm, I guess shortly
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
before he died, that ah, I
00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
had my son helped me take all the
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
stocks and stocks on newspapers
out of my kitchen and sure
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
ripped out. Because I feel
there was a harmful fire
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
hazard not that there was... there were, there
were fire hazards in the house like that.
00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
But uhm, he got absolutely livid when he
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
came home. It was though
I had thrown away ah,
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
dollars and dollars and dollars. I used to
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
work in Time Square and we have a subsidized cafeteria
that my father used to come in at lunch with me
00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
every week in a subsidized
cafeteria and it was nice. My
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
lunch break was I think one to two.
And when he first
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
started coming to lunch, he would
get there like 1:30 and toward the
00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
I... uhm, like I had lunch with him
the day before he died, but after
00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
span of time where he would come in at lunch
with me, he would be like two hours late, three
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
hours late. I\'m having lunch right before I\'m ready to leave
for the day. I mean, that\'s an exaggeration. He was probably
00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
utmost like three hours late, but habitually
like three hours late for lunch and
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
I used to wait in a lobby at first.
And then I\'m worth something out
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
with him and the person at the desk so he could call
up when he got there and I would just keep working
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
until he showed. He had throw
all these father\'s old plumbing
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
stuff and things in the backyard.
And some neighbor complained
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
to the environmental agency and
said they had said rats out
00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
in the stock. That was when
he was still alive and, and
00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
ah, and he had to pay a fine but ah,
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
you know, it, it just... it\'s just any
number of things that happened in the course
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.999
of the years that I don\'t want necessarily
wanna dig up. But there was a nice
00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
table in that room that was covered with junk. It was
a nice table too and then they covered it with, with
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
junk. As far as I... I think it had
a big influence on her mother.
00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
Because Mrs. B(ph) loves life and she loves
people and she never said a word. No.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
I\'m sure, she never said \"Jim get off
your duff and get rid of this stuff.\"
00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
She just took it and maybe she should have been more
outspoken. I don\'t know if your mother was outspoken with your
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
father then. And she was a... But
again, there was this, this thing
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
that ah, you know, the, the man they had controlled
everything they, they had the money they would bring it
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
in a money. So that could be said.
So man to man we talked about
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
how that bad things had gotten. And
he didn\'t handle it well. And I
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
didn\'t see any changes coming
with it, until I walked in here
00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
uhm, because I wasn\'t prepared to
ah, make it sure back here and
00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
maybe some other people weren\'t ready
even... I was ready to move on it, but
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
I don\'t know if there was agreement
as far as with the family. For me
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
it was a destruction to ah,
family life uhm, as far as ah,
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
the conditions that we\'re here
and for the most part for ah,
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
my mother\'s well being. Uhm, now
it\'s different and I\'m thankful to
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
say that ah, she gets what she
wants if she wants it and
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
we basically his death ah, ah, had us
00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
all taken this place and putting
it ah, back on tract so
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
my mom could live in it. The sleds
were buried one time. And we had like
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
this big snow storm when we were kids. And
these sleds were upfront somewhere in here
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
and it were buried under a bunch of
garbage. And we had to move all the garbage
00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
to get our sleds and he rarely put
that about that too, because we
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
disorganized you know, we throw in another hip
somewhere else probably on this side just to,
00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
to get our sleds and he made a big thing
about that too. When you have a person
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
that\'s the boss. Now this is what
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
it is and you can\'t tell
him, well, we can\'t get out
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
into the shed to get into the backyard,
he\'ll say, \"You can move the
00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
stuff, but you gotta put it back.\" And
then if it\'s not right, there\'s a
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
conflict coz he\'s gonna say something, \"If you
can\'t put it back right, don\'t move it.\" With
00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
packrat you, you have to be diplomatic.
I was like
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:34.999
probably about 15 and I had this huge like
00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.999
hefty bag in my room. And I had
all my garbage in there and I was
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
taking it out and my father stopped me and
he went through it. And he started taking
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
stuff out of there, like book
and pencils, various other
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
broken things, saying, saying that the stuff was
still good and I shouldn\'t be throwing it away.
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
And I don\'t know if his motivation was really
that there was book and pencils in there and
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
he had to teach me not to throw away something
that was still good, or I mean, I was
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
you know, smoking pot, and I was smoking
cigarettes. There was probably evidence in
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
there and maybe that\'s what his
motivation was, but I mean it was like,
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
a really, really horrible feeling.
When you understand
00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
or you try to understand why people
do certain things, it might be
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
part of their character and their
upbringing. So when you understand that,
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
then you learn to deal with it a little better
when you understand things which is getting
00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
to a si... to a situation like
that, you might take the
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
point of view cleaned up, get rid of and
then all of a sudden, you have a conflict.
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
But here we, we just grow
up well enough alone
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
that way, there was no, no animosity and,
00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
and things pretty much resolved.
The whole idea
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
of suggesting to him that
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
he should get help for something he
didn\'t think was wrong, was just
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
outrageous. I love the
man for his interest and
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
ah, again, his values. I think he just
basically wanted us to do well, to
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
succeed. He basically
pushed into me I think to
00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
you know, not to be satisfied you
know, to do things part you know,
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
partly just finish up what you do.
Which I do now which is
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
a good trade, I think. You know, I don\'t
believe anything you know, one time
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
I\'ll try not to, not to finish
open projects whatever I do.
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
He want us to be very honest too.
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
Dishonesty was a big thing. He showed
us that you know, to be honest
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
and I think that\'s why we
haven\'t been in jail you know.
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
You know, he basically wanted us to
be real honest than he was. He was,
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
I remember when we were kids
ah, someone dropped a $20 bill
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
in a cleaners one time and I want to pick
it up. And I didn\'t even say anything,
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
but he stepped on my hand thinking
I was gonna pocket it. And I was
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
like, \"I didn\'t even get poor(ph) at that and I was getting whacked in the
back of the head like you, you\'re gonna steal it. You\'re gonna get it back to
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
him. I mean, I give it back to the guy, coz
he maybe look like a fool, but I mean,
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:35.000
it was like, I think he really
want us to be like super honest.
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
[sil.]
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
When you\'re got hormones going on and you
know, you really wanna bring your boyfriend
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
to met your parents, but you know, you\'re mode
defied because ah, you know, you look like
00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
Fred Sanford’s daughter when you phoned at driveway
and you got like three broke down cars. And,
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
and the only difference between us and like Hillbilly
is where our stuff wasn\'t on blocks coz we like
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
we\'re using the cinder blocks for something else
like to build a house to store more stuff. So
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
we didn\'t wanna waste their cinder blocks by putting them
underneath the car which is that the car like sink into the dirt.
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
So I mean, it\'s... you have to just
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
be responsible for yourself.
Getting rid of the alchemy now was
00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
a very traumatic part of life. It
was trauma. It took about seven
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
months because it... Jack had lost the registration
we have to go through motor vehicle to get a new
00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
registration. And I think it took him
that long to finally agree that the the
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
truck was better off being used by someone who
was a collector and was gonna redo it of course
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
he took the engine out of it first because we have
to keep that you never know when you might need an
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
engine. But that we\'re left
now with a broken down old
00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
station wagon gray and ah, uhm,
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
an MJ under a blue tarp. On the
00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
property, we also have of
the only airline baggage
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
carts in town since we\'re
not near an airport. But
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
that holds an old oil tank because you never know when
you might need an old oil tank. You know, it could
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
come in handy. You have to... I always hear...
We live on a farm. So that, that\'s cover the
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
multitude at sense. If you live in a farm, you\'re
allowed to do all these things. So but it is
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
getting better. It really is. We have far
list blue tarps covering things and we
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
did 18 years ago. I did move out
of the house because of it.
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
Uhm, coz there was nowhere, you know, I had a little
room and that room kinda became my sanctuary, so I
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
put like, I put a carpet in there. I
bought nice bedspreads. I... so the room
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
might have looked like you know, bomb shelter until you open
the door to my bedroom and then, you\'ll see this little
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
of order and... We also have
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
one, two, three maybe five tractors.
And I\'m sure some
00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
work. They might work.
We want that works. We
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.999
have a backhoe, that used to work.
But that has a hydraulic
00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
problem and that\'s in a cart
port where most backhoes are.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
And what else do we have out there?
Not much. It\'s
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
really, really a whole lot less than normal. But you
can understand why we wouldn\'t do well living in a
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
development. I just went and I grabs a
milk jag off the top of the fridge.
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
Well, that was a milk jag that had
a predestined purpose which was
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
for ice tea. So here, I\'m gonna like pouring the
oil into the, you know, into this milk jag and he
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
comes around with an old beat up greasy milk
jag and he\'s like, \"What are doing, you know,
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
I was going to use that for dah, dah, dah,
dah.\" And there\'s 42 milk jags on top of the
00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
fridge. You know, and \"It\'s a
freakin\' ten cent piece of
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
plastic, but you\'re screaming at me. Why you\'re screaming? I thought
you love me. Why are you screaming at me, you know?\" He\'s like,
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
\"Ah, you don\'t live here anymore and nobody drinks
milk except you and you know, I\'ve got to sit\" and I\'m
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
taken, \"This is freakin\' ridiculous.\"
And I just... I think I threw something
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
at him. I think I like had a, you know, one of the other
milk jag. I think I might even thrown it at him is,
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
you know. It... and that really, \"God\" I mean,
I was like you know. And then afterwards
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
you know, we both went our in the separate corners, and
he\'s, \"Yeah, you know, look I\'m really sorry.\" But I did
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
at least get a chance to verbalize you know, and, and
hold the thing up in the air and say, \"This is a
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
freakin ten cent piece of plastic and you\'re screaming at me for
this. \" And you know, like, \" Can\'t get your attention for five
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
minutes and you surround yourself with this shit
and blah, blah, blah, blah.\" So at least I got a
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
chance to get some of them off my chest. The
worst story that I think Jennifer doesn\'t even
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
wanna remember is with this church
pew that was in the basement of my...
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
Of the house, that\'s in the woods. The
plumbing was always going, whatever.
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
But he never know until something was
ruined, coz he couldn\'t get to it.
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
I said, \"Dad, there\'s a leak in the basement.
It\'s getting all the stuff wet.\" My
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:13.999
dad, he\'s like probably hasn\'t slept
in days, coz he used to (inaudible)
00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:15.000
for work.
00:34:15.001 --> 00:34:19.999
Runs downstairs and he\'s
like, \"Your mother\'s church
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
pew.\" And he starts freaking out.
And they get the church pew,
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
they\'ve take it after the bucket, right? But they had to
clear the path and of course that upsets my father. So
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
he has to move the stuff and he
gets more upset. She\'s four to 15,
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
not very athletic, he\'s not very strong,
whatever. It\'s a heavy church pew.
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
He like, I don\'t know what happened, he
flipped out on the stairs. My sister
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.999
goes down and sprains her ankle
or something. He screams in
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.999
horrors and she actually gets up and tries to help him
bring this church pew and I\'m screaming at him, \"I\'m
00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
tiny.\" And I\'m screaming at him, to like, \"leave
my sister alone,\" kinda thing because he\'s just
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
totally beating her up somehow
like he\'s just stressed and he\'s
00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
having this anxiety attack about this stupid
pew that\'s green now because of the water.
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
And they\'re bringing it through the blizzard
to one of the empty... one of the buildings,
00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
to the barn or to the shell. And
he\'s dragging my sister along
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
pretty much, essentially. Huffing and
puffing with regard for anything, but
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
his own stress. And I was
like crying my eyes out.
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
I was probably nine or ten.
And I\'m crying my eyes out.
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
I have no idea what happened
to the church pew. That
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.999
is the story I didn\'t even wanna remember.
My father was a very dynamic
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.999
interesting man. He may not like... he looks just
like a regular old farmer guy, but he\'s done
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
a lot of stuff. And some of the stuff that
we packed up when they built a new house,
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
he\'s got stuff from when he worked at Amman(ph)
Scientific Company and he designed their late
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
show. And you know, he worked on like the
first colored television project or you know,
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
early, early computers and all kinds
of stuff like that. So it\'s I,
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
I really kinda have to look at it in
a positive perspective, you know.
00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
It\'s better than lemonade you know, it\'s,
it\'s like lamish(ph) your pan pie, I kinda
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:25.000
look at it. So, so I think I find a great
life. I think I got great parents.
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
What we have
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
found is that there\'s a tendency for people
who have this problem to have uhm, a
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
larger percentage of first degree relatives who also
have a problem. Very often, when I\'m working with
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
ah, older personnel find out that
their sibling or their daughter
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
has a hoarding problem. My room was like how
they describe people\'s rooms or way off
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
after they\'ve been with hoarding like the
floor you couldn\'t see it. There was food
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
in amongst the stuff. I mean, it
was like really, really bad that
00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
way. And it\'s like one day, I just snapped
out of it, I guess and I was like,
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
uhm, wow, there was like
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
you know, like a chicken leg there that\'s
been there for months, you know. You
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
really like, you really need to get a grip.
Grandpa was probably a packrat,
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
I don\'t know. But he, he had
a collected stuff anyway.
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
I mean, he did collect it because it was
in his basement. But I don\'t remember them
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
collecting garbage. You know, like carriages and
stuff like that is, I think that pertain more
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
to his business. As of yet,
there are no published data on
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
the genetic connection here although there
is a group of researchers down in Rhode
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:54.999
Island who have been collecting some genetic
data, and I haven\'t seen the results,
00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.999
but for... I understand from what they\'re doing
that there ma... maybe in facts found some
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
ah, evidence about heritability
factor for hoarding. Yeah, I\'m very
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
concerned that I\'m gonna
be some old bug lady
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
somehow. And that concerns
me a lot, the idea
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
that I would alienate everybody in my life
concerns me a lot. The idea that I would do that
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
and not even care about it, concerns me.
The idea of living in
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
isolation with a bunch of dusty crap,
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
yeah, I have a lot of
concerns for myself about it,
00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
coz I\'m afraid that I\'m leaning
in that direction. I also
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
have fears of becoming a packrat myself.
So there\'s... I\'m projecting
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
a little. Frankly, I didn\'t notice I don\'t
really have a problem getting rid of
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
it. But when I went to put it in a
recycling den which is right here, I...
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
Some stuff feel out of it that I guess were scraps
of paper that I put in there. I don\'t know what
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
they are but I\'m gonna look at it now and I\'m, and I\'m
actually just checking to make sure there aren\'t more. I wanna
00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
allow myself to grow and change and
holding on to these uhm, these
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
symbolic items is really, slowing me down.
00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
I have a big thing that I\'m
bringing to good will and I put
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
down a stock of 10 books and then I decided
that I have to have nine of them and I
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
give one away. So maybe in like a hundred
years, I\'ll get rid of all these
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:35.000
books.
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
What you\'ve seen and what you\'ve done is you...
Becomes you even if it\'s a long time ago. So I have
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
this folder and I learn this from
father because he saved every program
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
from every musical event he went to,
and you know, he had saves a subs...
00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
You know, a season subscriber to a lot
of different uhm, ah, chamber music
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
and ah, symphony orchestra ah,
groups and whatever. So I learn this
00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
trait from him. I don\'t even see this as
a part of his hoard. I see this as like,
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
this is a, this is a bunch of
objects that are, are him to me.
00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
This is like, I have him here
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
on my shelve.
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
I don\'t wanna be defined by what I have.
And I think I\'ve been trying to do that
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
to avoid ah, I don\'t know why. I, I mean, I
00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.999
didn\'t
00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:44.999
making art, will make me an artist,
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
not hoarding books about art. Normally,
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
when I wanna get rid of stuff, I think about
people who might be able to use it and I\'ve
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
recently come to the conclusion
that uhm, I mean, you know, this
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
might be an idea my husband fed me to.
I don\'t know where I got it from, but
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
suddenly, I realized that
giving something to someone who
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
you think might like it, you really
just bargaining them with stuff that
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
maybe they don\'t want. This was grandmother\'s
jacket. And my grandmother was
00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
like, a grandmother you know,
she had grandmotherly fur.
00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
The fine fur. It was fun.
You know, when I was in
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
high school and one of this was warm.
It\'s not the way you know,
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
ah, a warm coat, but I haven\'t
worn it in five years. So this
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
again, and I thought I might wear this for work,
but I guess it\'s totally inappropriate. It\'s
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
too long, it\'s we\'ve getting away. So
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
very,
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
very hard to get rid of this. I mean, yeah there\'s a
lot of stuff in here that people could probably use
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
and people might want it who I know. And I don\'t
know if they\'ve been mad at me for just checking out
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
without asking them, but there really is
like if you wait on... also if you wait
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
on other people to come and
get things, you\'ll never get
00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
the stuff out, I think. So I\'m
just take it upon and I\'m sorry
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
to anybody who might have been
will be use these things. I\'m not
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.999
gonna be an expert in ah, you know
philosophy and existentialism
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
and this is a good one though and
you can have it Kris. No kidding.
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
It\'s not at all these be a toy that I have out
there which probably is completely unusable
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:44.999
you know, I would need ah, an electrician
as well as an antique television
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:49.999
in order to use it. Can\'t part with it.
No way. It actually was my char...
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:54.999
My, my toy from when I was a kid. And uhm,
00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
I think about it as something that brought my
family together you know, my mother used to play w
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:04.999
me. And she was never really
like a big uhm, she...
00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:09.999
We didn\'t have a lot of the same interest
because she really is like, she\'s
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:14.999
not even a baby glamor, she\'s older. You know
there wasn\'t a lot of activities that we,
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:19.999
that we would necessary... you know, we didn\'t go
shopping together or you know, or anything like that coz
00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:24.999
that wasn\'t in part of our own MO
as a family. But uhm, so yeah,
00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.999
we played a toy though and I thought my mother
was so cool for that. And I... you know, that\'s
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.999
something that\'s emblematic you know, the game,
the object is emblematic with that for me and
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.999
that\'s why I can\'t let go of it, I think. And
also coz everybody who comes in here, goes
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:44.999
\"Wow, that\'s really cool.\" You know, and
I get totally enable from that too.
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.999
But this thing is going. I,
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:54.999
I imagine not having it.
And that\'s what has
00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:59.999
prepared me to get rid of it. I imagine not having it. Do I
really need it? Do I really need it? Am I gonna wear it?
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:04.999
And I imagine getting rid of it and
I really liked the way that felt.
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:09.999
So the visualization that was, I
was talking about I totally tried
00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:14.999
and it works. All right, we\'re gonna start right now
fellows. It\'s a lot of stuff, it\'s a pink. (inaudible)
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:20.000
It has to be done.
00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.999
If you don\'t have any society pushing on you to
change anything, ah, things get pretty normal inside
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:34.999
your house no matter how nuts it is,
really. Later on, I mean, he wound up
00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:39.999
ah, dating his present
wife and I think he got a
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.999
little inspired to you know, have over her
for dinner, and clean up, throw some stuff
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:49.999
out you know, stuff that I mean, it\'s bringing
another person into the mix definitely
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:54.999
rearranges your sense of reality. I don\'t think it can
go up to a packrat and just say, you have to throw it,
00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:59.999
everything you own, because they\'re not gonna
do that and that\'s, that\'s too much of
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.999
a sacrifice to us. And I don\'t think you know, a
packrat can go up to somebody and say, \"You\'re
00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:09.999
gonna have to live like I do and be happy
with it,\" because that again is too
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.999
much of a compromise. If you\'re, if
you\'re living with somebody like that,
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:19.999
you can learn to accept it. And you can ah,
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.999
even try to understand it, but that
does not mean that you condone
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.999
it or like it. I mean, you don\'t
have to like it, you could try to be
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:34.999
understanding, but it\'s does... it just
goes beyond that after a while. At any
00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:39.999
age, if it\'s sort of identified,
uhm, or a proclivity is
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:44.999
identified, ah, identify
it and then work to change
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.999
it while you can before you can\'t.
I don\'t decide how to organize it.
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:54.999
I wouldn\'t even presume to
know really what\'s in it.
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.999
And I hope I never have to know.
00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.999
So I wouldn\'t wanna be the one to empty it.
What you can do
00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.999
is suggest to them that they call. If they
call me we have a real good chance of fixing
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.999
them or helping them out of the situation.
\'Til I reach for help
00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.999
or until some event occurs that\'s more traumatic
than they\'re sub... that they\'re in now that
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.999
pushes them in my direction. There\'s not a
whole lot I can do. If they can keep a space
00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:29.999
clear, it\'s a success, all right. Sometimes,
it\'s very difficult for people to, to
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:34.999
take a space so like, like the space here and, and
sometimes we ask them just to take the space,
00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.999
clear all the stuff out of the space
and keep it off for a week and that\'s
00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.999
very difficult sometimes. So if, if they can
do it, then they\'re in the process of, of
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:49.999
working on the problem and, and I guess, I would say at
that point they\'re in, in the process of recovery. Be
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.999
sure you\'re willing to put
up with this stuff. And
00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:59.999
pick what\'s important. He can\'t
worry with that stuff in a
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.999
barn if it\'s out of your sight.
If the rest of the life
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.999
together is important, you just look the other way
and say, \"Okay, you wanna keep stuff, keep stuff.
00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.999
Just keep it out of my life.\"
That\'s the best advise I
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:19.999
have. This one was so happy.
They\'re like, I could see here
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:24.999
from one end and scared and all of that.
All of a sudden, ah, she just made one
00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.999
decision. She says, the
decision is, yeah. You know,
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:34.999
\"Here\'s the keys. I\'ll see you in the
morning you know, before I leave for work
00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:39.999
and then ah, you walk up at
night.\" That\'d be three days
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.999
straight to place it out. But because she was
so good stuff, I did a little extra. I went
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.999
open up all the boxes, I took all the stuff out
of the moving thing. I put everything away.
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.999
That place was done, you wouldn\'t believe
it. It look like a model apartment.
00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:59.999
I invited her to think about having a
nice party at the end of the deal in her
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.999
house. You know, or just social gathering.
Uhm, ah, she
00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:09.999
could have a friends over and she has somebody like
a room mate come in and even share the expenses
00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:14.999
because she live in one of most expensive
neighborhoods in, in, in Manhattan. And
00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.999
ah, that was like about three years ago.
And guess what, today,
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.999
she\'s right on top of everything. Her place
is nice. I can\'t tell you how many times
00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:29.999
you, you have someone seen by a
psychiatrist or a family physician
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.999
and all of that. And hoarding
is never discussed, ever,
00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:39.999
not asked. And this person
maybe on the verge of
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:44.999
eviction. And uhm, I\'ll say get them to
see the doctor and all that and then
00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.999
they go see the doctor and nothing happens
while hoarding never came up. So identify
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:54.999
hoarding and to educate uhm, the
medical and the psychiatric community
00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:59.999
that\'s imperative. When I started this you know, that I
felt really sympathetic about it. But I realized that
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.999
I feel like incredibly mixed feelings and I feel like
a tremendous amount of anger about it. And I also
00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.999
feel uhm, I also feel sympathy.
Yes, people can change,
00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:14.999
not all of them. The ones who really
want to, gotta work at it. And
00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.999
sometimes, I think you have to be strong enough.
But changing this, this ah, syndrome of
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.999
saving things I don\'t know if
you can look at it entirely.
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.999
But even if they got rid
of 75% that\'s a gain.
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:38.000
[music]