00:00:03.330 --> 00:00:04.830
- [Chris] Zane, heel, with me.

00:00:06.232 --> 00:00:07.065
Good boy.

00:00:10.470 --> 00:00:12.570
- [Mary] You guys ready for taking a walk?

00:00:12.570 --> 00:00:13.699
All right.

00:00:13.699 --> 00:00:14.649
- [Chris] Good boy.

00:00:19.530 --> 00:00:22.080
We're good, Zane, good boy,
it's just a motorcycle.

00:00:24.240 --> 00:00:25.950
Zane, heel.
(engine revs)

00:00:25.950 --> 00:00:29.100
Heel, we're good, we're good.

00:00:29.100 --> 00:00:31.650
- [Mary] Remember, we're never
gonna put you in harm's way.

00:00:31.650 --> 00:00:34.500
What you need to do is
pay attention to Zane.

00:00:34.500 --> 00:00:37.500
The difference between
perceived threat and real threat

00:00:37.500 --> 00:00:39.060
is what he tells you,

00:00:39.060 --> 00:00:41.763
not what you think or
not where you've been.

00:00:43.050 --> 00:00:43.883
- Zane, heel.

00:00:44.820 --> 00:00:46.200
- [Mary] All right, you're good.

00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:48.085
Cars parking.
(explosion booms)

00:00:48.085 --> 00:00:48.918
- We're good, Zane.
- Oh, okay, okay.

00:00:48.918 --> 00:00:50.730
- We're good, thank you.
- Across, across.

00:00:50.730 --> 00:00:52.020
- Good boy.
- Don't stop in the hallway.

00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:54.333
- Good boy.
- Wasn't an imminent threat.

00:00:55.260 --> 00:00:56.700
Probably a car backfiring.

00:00:56.700 --> 00:00:57.990
- I think that's what it was.

00:00:57.990 --> 00:00:58.823
- Yep.

00:00:59.730 --> 00:01:03.180
- Good job, we're good.
(police siren rings)

00:01:03.180 --> 00:01:04.563
We're good, thank you.

00:01:05.859 --> 00:01:06.692
Yeah.

00:01:08.209 --> 00:01:13.209
We're good.
(police siren rings)

00:01:14.448 --> 00:01:16.907
- Chris, where are you?
- We're good, buddy.

00:01:16.907 --> 00:01:18.957
- [Mary] Chris, Chris, where are you?

00:01:18.957 --> 00:01:20.457
- I'm good.
- Where'd you go?

00:01:23.250 --> 00:01:26.103
- Where all the loud
noises are on the ship.

00:01:27.900 --> 00:01:31.020
- [Mary] You flash back
to that moment, that time?

00:01:31.020 --> 00:01:32.850
Chris, you let the
emotion out and you focus.

00:01:32.850 --> 00:01:34.053
You focus on Zane.

00:01:35.250 --> 00:01:39.210
You focus on him, come back
here into the present moment.

00:01:39.210 --> 00:01:43.320
Come back here to the fact
that you have your freedom,

00:01:43.320 --> 00:01:46.140
we're walking around, right?

00:01:46.140 --> 00:01:48.090
This is the kind of stuff
that I tell you, everything-

00:01:48.090 --> 00:01:50.610
- I never thought about that.
- I know, buddy.

00:01:50.610 --> 00:01:51.810
- Thank you.

00:01:51.810 --> 00:01:55.560
- So what I want you to do right now

00:01:55.560 --> 00:01:57.600
is come back into the present moment.

00:01:57.600 --> 00:02:00.270
Zane makes you happy, right?

00:02:00.270 --> 00:02:02.520
- I love this dog. (laughs)
- Okay.

00:02:02.520 --> 00:02:04.120
- I love him.

00:02:04.120 --> 00:02:05.640
Yeah, thank you, Zane.

00:02:05.640 --> 00:02:07.953
- Okay, so we'll give
you a few minutes, okay?

00:02:16.050 --> 00:02:18.753
- Oh, good boy, good boy, thank you.

00:02:20.220 --> 00:02:21.770
Thank you for bringing me back.

00:02:22.890 --> 00:02:23.723
Thank you.

00:02:29.138 --> 00:02:31.971
(heartfelt music)

00:02:39.978 --> 00:02:41.290
- We're going the same
direction we're facing.

00:02:41.290 --> 00:02:44.167
Go wide, we're gonna say "side", okay?

00:02:45.067 --> 00:02:48.218
The dog does not move until
you tell him so, okay?

00:02:48.218 --> 00:02:49.051
Step off.

00:02:50.407 --> 00:02:51.510
Side.

00:02:51.510 --> 00:02:55.350
- It's so ingrained in us to not fail.

00:02:55.350 --> 00:02:58.833
To complete that mission,
to adapt and overcome.

00:02:59.670 --> 00:03:03.180
To acknowledge that we need help is

00:03:03.180 --> 00:03:04.740
in and of itself terrifying

00:03:04.740 --> 00:03:08.940
and not something we would
ever do when we were serving.

00:03:08.940 --> 00:03:11.973
You're putting yourself back
in a vulnerable position.

00:03:13.710 --> 00:03:17.550
There's a lot of courage
that's needed to ask for help.

00:03:17.550 --> 00:03:19.020
- [Instructor] You yourselves gotta touch.

00:03:19.020 --> 00:03:19.853
Princess, touch.

00:03:21.536 --> 00:03:26.536
(people chattering)
(heartfelt music)

00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:28.673
- Pretty girl?

00:03:29.850 --> 00:03:30.683
That's good.

00:03:32.760 --> 00:03:34.830
- I am a female veteran.

00:03:34.830 --> 00:03:36.750
I served for nine years on active duty.

00:03:36.750 --> 00:03:39.540
I learned to train dogs in the military

00:03:39.540 --> 00:03:42.840
as one of the first female
Army canine handlers

00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:45.780
and instructors.
(Mary shouts)

00:03:45.780 --> 00:03:48.840
I was lost just like everybody else

00:03:48.840 --> 00:03:50.463
that comes out of the service.

00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:54.868
I can relate to losing
confidence, transitions.

00:03:54.868 --> 00:03:57.938
Good boy! Wow. (laughs)

00:03:57.938 --> 00:04:00.363
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

00:04:00.363 --> 00:04:02.430
I've loved dogs all my life

00:04:02.430 --> 00:04:05.970
and I started just a
dog training business.

00:04:05.970 --> 00:04:08.970
It's what I knew, what
I was comfortable with.

00:04:08.970 --> 00:04:13.920
When I got a call out of
the clear blue from a Marine

00:04:13.920 --> 00:04:16.620
who had been on a traditional waiting list

00:04:16.620 --> 00:04:20.130
for a service dog organization
to get a trained dog

00:04:20.130 --> 00:04:23.340
to help him with his PTSD,
and it had been several years,

00:04:23.340 --> 00:04:27.270
and he was feeling pretty
helpless and hopeless.

00:04:27.270 --> 00:04:30.300
And if you've ever spoken
to somebody who is suicidal

00:04:30.300 --> 00:04:32.100
or has suicidal ideologies,

00:04:32.100 --> 00:04:35.130
you can hear it even across the phone.

00:04:35.130 --> 00:04:38.520
Being a veteran, I've gotta do something.

00:04:38.520 --> 00:04:39.990
I was familiar with guide dogs.

00:04:39.990 --> 00:04:42.840
I was familiar with
mobility assistance dogs,

00:04:42.840 --> 00:04:45.540
but it wasn't something
that I had thought about,

00:04:45.540 --> 00:04:48.360
let alone, "What was PTSD?"

00:04:48.360 --> 00:04:50.460
I made a promise to that Marine

00:04:50.460 --> 00:04:52.800
that I didn't have all the answers,

00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:54.660
but if he was willing to give it a try,

00:04:54.660 --> 00:04:56.400
I would walk the journey with him

00:04:56.400 --> 00:04:58.000
and we would get it figured out.

00:05:03.211 --> 00:05:06.420
(heartfelt music)

00:05:06.420 --> 00:05:08.490
You are going to tell them, "heel!"

00:05:08.490 --> 00:05:13.263
Move your arm out in
a big sweeping motion.

00:05:14.730 --> 00:05:16.410
Transition, heel!

00:05:16.410 --> 00:05:17.243
- Heel.

00:05:22.590 --> 00:05:25.173
- All right, "sit!"
- Sit.

00:05:27.240 --> 00:05:28.073
Sit.

00:05:29.700 --> 00:05:31.290
- All right.

00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:32.703
The fact that you're here,

00:05:34.590 --> 00:05:37.413
you're above ground, says
a whole hell of a lot.

00:05:39.030 --> 00:05:40.410
Have hope.

00:05:40.410 --> 00:05:43.737
Hope stands for "hang on, pain ends",

00:05:44.820 --> 00:05:48.573
and you have an amazing gift
at the end of the leash.

00:05:50.374 --> 00:05:53.457
(heartfelt music)
(wind blows)

00:05:53.457 --> 00:05:55.937
(Johnny chatters)

00:05:55.937 --> 00:05:58.437
(door slides)

00:06:00.450 --> 00:06:03.720
The person that left is very different

00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:05.100
than the person that came back,

00:06:05.100 --> 00:06:07.470
because now they're
injured, they're wounded.

00:06:07.470 --> 00:06:09.900
Some of those wounds are invisible.

00:06:09.900 --> 00:06:12.480
What the family notices is

00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:16.380
all of the symptoms of
the post-traumatic stress,

00:06:16.380 --> 00:06:18.180
the withdrawal, the isolation,

00:06:18.180 --> 00:06:21.630
the anger, the self-medication.

00:06:21.630 --> 00:06:25.233
That creates a secondary
post-traumatic stress.

00:06:27.540 --> 00:06:29.340
- I was around three.

00:06:29.340 --> 00:06:32.130
Think I had just turned
three when he came home.

00:06:32.130 --> 00:06:35.670
So I didn't really understand
why he was always so mad.

00:06:35.670 --> 00:06:37.560
- I would wake up and
he wouldn't be there.

00:06:37.560 --> 00:06:40.080
He'd be downstairs making sure
all the doors were locked,

00:06:40.080 --> 00:06:42.720
making sure that nobody was in the house.

00:06:42.720 --> 00:06:45.113
You know, there was something
different about him.

00:06:46.110 --> 00:06:49.710
- This is when my oldest son,
Randy, then her IzaBella,

00:06:49.710 --> 00:06:51.960
and then Johnny, they're
all two years old.

00:06:51.960 --> 00:06:54.660
So these were given to me
right before I deployed.

00:06:54.660 --> 00:06:56.946
That way I could always look at 'em

00:06:56.946 --> 00:06:58.653
whenever I wanted to.

00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:01.950
Had just turned 18,

00:07:01.950 --> 00:07:03.450
I saw a video of, you know,

00:07:03.450 --> 00:07:06.180
people jumping out of
planes and shooting weapons,

00:07:06.180 --> 00:07:08.670
I was like, "Yeah, that's
what I want to do."

00:07:08.670 --> 00:07:10.590
But yeah, not knowing that
the infantry's probably

00:07:10.590 --> 00:07:12.333
the hardest job in the military.

00:07:13.590 --> 00:07:15.360
You get to meet all kinds of people

00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:18.360
and I got to travel all over.

00:07:18.360 --> 00:07:21.030
Got to experience different cultures

00:07:21.030 --> 00:07:22.200
and the main thing is, I guess,

00:07:22.200 --> 00:07:25.380
just the bond that you
build between, you know,

00:07:25.380 --> 00:07:26.820
your fellow soldiers and stuff

00:07:26.820 --> 00:07:29.490
and it's just like, it's
a bond like no other.

00:07:29.490 --> 00:07:30.323
I loved it.

00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:36.120
I have the dog tags that say,
"gone but never forgotten."

00:07:36.120 --> 00:07:37.770
And then the tomb of the soldier.

00:07:38.640 --> 00:07:41.370
Well it says, "I did my duty,
I paid the supreme price,

00:07:41.370 --> 00:07:43.320
I pray you'll remember my sacrifice.

00:07:43.320 --> 00:07:45.750
My life was short, I did my best.

00:07:45.750 --> 00:07:48.087
God grant me peace in my eternal rest."

00:07:49.620 --> 00:07:52.293
And those are for the friends that I lost.

00:07:53.970 --> 00:07:56.913
I held and I still hold
a lot of guilt, you know,

00:07:58.223 --> 00:08:00.393
'cause, you know, why did I come back?

00:08:02.820 --> 00:08:05.883
- When he came back it got
really ugly really fast.

00:08:07.530 --> 00:08:12.530
He would thrash around in
bed and moan and whimper,

00:08:12.960 --> 00:08:15.753
and so I knew that there
was something going on.

00:08:16.710 --> 00:08:18.690
There would be nights that
he would lay in bed all night

00:08:18.690 --> 00:08:19.890
with his eyes wide open

00:08:19.890 --> 00:08:22.090
and he wouldn't sleep
until the sun came up.

00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:28.523
- Dad, look at me?

00:08:29.850 --> 00:08:31.590
I know when he'd be feeling anxious

00:08:31.590 --> 00:08:33.450
and I'd go over and hold his hand,

00:08:33.450 --> 00:08:36.000
just like take him back outta that, like,

00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.133
little trance that he put himself in.

00:08:39.690 --> 00:08:42.093
- The nightmares started
getting more intense.

00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:44.680
I wasn't sleeping properly

00:08:45.810 --> 00:08:50.553
and my coping mechanism back
then was drinking alcohol.

00:08:52.170 --> 00:08:55.590
Drink 'til I pass out to try
to get that good night's sleep,

00:08:55.590 --> 00:08:58.413
but in reality I was only making it worse.

00:09:00.990 --> 00:09:05.010
- Sometimes my mom and dad argue

00:09:05.010 --> 00:09:07.533
and you feel like dad's gonna snap again.

00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:11.670
- Me and Johnny were
afraid to play and laugh

00:09:11.670 --> 00:09:14.190
'cause he was always so mad.

00:09:14.190 --> 00:09:16.340
So I thought I was
really just misbehaving.

00:09:17.946 --> 00:09:20.596
I thought I was just, like,
not doing anything right.

00:09:23.887 --> 00:09:26.037
- I don't know, for
some reason things got,

00:09:27.330 --> 00:09:28.260
I won't say out of con-

00:09:28.260 --> 00:09:30.110
Well yeah, things got out of control.

00:09:32.070 --> 00:09:36.453
I had no will to live anymore.

00:09:37.890 --> 00:09:42.100
That's when I knew that I wasn't right

00:09:43.650 --> 00:09:45.063
and that I needed help.

00:09:47.640 --> 00:09:51.090
- Spending a extended period of time

00:09:51.090 --> 00:09:52.710
in a military environment,

00:09:52.710 --> 00:09:55.710
to leave from that
space of the camaraderie

00:09:55.710 --> 00:09:57.273
and that understanding,

00:09:58.230 --> 00:10:01.710
back into an environment where there is

00:10:01.710 --> 00:10:05.730
little to no understanding
of the service members'

00:10:05.730 --> 00:10:08.100
experiences in the military,

00:10:08.100 --> 00:10:10.830
whether they were in combat or not,

00:10:10.830 --> 00:10:12.930
can be quite a challenge

00:10:12.930 --> 00:10:15.873
for anybody making such
a dramatic transition.

00:10:20.220 --> 00:10:24.400
- What appealed to joining
in the military for me was

00:10:26.250 --> 00:10:29.190
the ability to get away from home.

00:10:29.190 --> 00:10:30.510
Someplace I thought that, you know,

00:10:30.510 --> 00:10:33.090
it'd be filled with people
with integrity and purpose

00:10:33.090 --> 00:10:35.673
and someplace I could feel safe.

00:10:37.800 --> 00:10:40.740
Being a woman in the Army was challenging.

00:10:40.740 --> 00:10:42.690
The drill instructors would say

00:10:42.690 --> 00:10:44.760
that we're not really soldiers.

00:10:44.760 --> 00:10:46.530
We're not actually gonna go to combat,

00:10:46.530 --> 00:10:48.330
so these skills that they're teaching us

00:10:48.330 --> 00:10:50.793
were just a waste of time.

00:10:52.830 --> 00:10:56.160
My job in the military
as a linguist entailed

00:10:56.160 --> 00:11:01.160
listening to target countries
who speak primarily Spanish

00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:06.903
and kind of eavesdropping
or spying from afar,

00:11:07.950 --> 00:11:10.000
which would sometimes lead us to hearing

00:11:11.490 --> 00:11:12.450
very difficult things.

00:11:12.450 --> 00:11:16.950
I heard people being hunted and shot

00:11:16.950 --> 00:11:19.653
and there was a lot of screaming.

00:11:20.610 --> 00:11:22.380
In one particular case,
there was a gentleman

00:11:22.380 --> 00:11:24.930
who knew he was going to be caught.

00:11:24.930 --> 00:11:27.693
So he's running with his radio,

00:11:28.890 --> 00:11:32.130
saying his goodbyes to his family

00:11:32.130 --> 00:11:34.740
and asking his friends to take care

00:11:34.740 --> 00:11:37.440
of his family and his kids.

00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:41.893
They shot him while he had
the mic open and he was

00:11:44.180 --> 00:11:48.843
he was crying and screaming
and that was difficult.

00:11:50.370 --> 00:11:54.783
That's when I started to
question what I was doing.

00:11:57.030 --> 00:12:02.030
When I first heard
reference to the term PTSD

00:12:02.310 --> 00:12:04.020
and what that was,

00:12:04.020 --> 00:12:06.690
I never thought that that label fit me

00:12:06.690 --> 00:12:08.490
because even though I was in the service,

00:12:08.490 --> 00:12:09.843
I had never been to combat.

00:12:14.280 --> 00:12:15.960
Do you really think that one's gonna live?

00:12:15.960 --> 00:12:17.130
- [Tamara] Yeah.

00:12:17.130 --> 00:12:18.810
- I think it needs more sun.
- Okay.

00:12:18.810 --> 00:12:21.520
I probably was unaware of

00:12:22.470 --> 00:12:27.273
how real some of her fears are.

00:12:28.410 --> 00:12:30.600
Kim is Kim to me.

00:12:30.600 --> 00:12:32.730
All of whatever makes her up.

00:12:32.730 --> 00:12:36.150
All the experiences that
she's gone through in her life

00:12:36.150 --> 00:12:39.420
is who and how she's
become the person she is,

00:12:39.420 --> 00:12:43.113
which is the person I'm, you
know, madly in love with.

00:12:45.630 --> 00:12:48.330
Crowds can throw her,
loud noises can throw her.

00:12:48.330 --> 00:12:52.950
She would not necessarily hide behind me,

00:12:52.950 --> 00:12:56.610
but she would be much closer
and tighter next to me.

00:12:56.610 --> 00:13:00.750
Kim would go hiking or
backpacking by herself, yeah.

00:13:00.750 --> 00:13:04.083
To a mall, to a crowd
of people? Not so much.

00:13:06.510 --> 00:13:09.040
- Next.
- Okay, Corporal Private.

00:13:09.040 --> 00:13:10.740
(Kim laughs)

00:13:10.740 --> 00:13:14.520
- I work for the VA, Veterans
Affair, I'm a health tech.

00:13:14.520 --> 00:13:19.520
And I see a psychiatrist there
who introduced the idea of

00:13:19.890 --> 00:13:22.290
having a service dog to me.

00:13:22.290 --> 00:13:24.210
First time a therapist or psychiatrist

00:13:24.210 --> 00:13:25.923
has ever mentioned that to me.

00:13:27.330 --> 00:13:30.510
- It is a growing topic of
conversation among veterans

00:13:30.510 --> 00:13:33.180
as they become more
aware that service dogs

00:13:33.180 --> 00:13:35.940
are a potential treatment
in helping them navigate

00:13:35.940 --> 00:13:37.143
their road to recovery.

00:13:38.400 --> 00:13:42.120
But there is no standard knowledge of

00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:45.420
how to access service dog assistance.

00:13:45.420 --> 00:13:49.800
The responsibility does largely fall on

00:13:49.800 --> 00:13:53.700
our service dog training
non-profit community,

00:13:53.700 --> 00:13:57.813
and there is very little to
no support offered by the VA.

00:14:02.760 --> 00:14:05.850
- I remember the day that I
saw him for the first time

00:14:05.850 --> 00:14:06.783
when he came back.

00:14:08.280 --> 00:14:09.693
I was like 10?

00:14:13.260 --> 00:14:15.685
I saw my mom walk in
the door with some guy

00:14:15.685 --> 00:14:18.087
and I didn't know who he was.

00:14:18.087 --> 00:14:20.940
And then after he took his sunglasses off

00:14:20.940 --> 00:14:22.233
I realized who it was.

00:14:23.910 --> 00:14:25.365
That was, like, the last thing on my mind,

00:14:25.365 --> 00:14:26.765
that I was gonna see my dad.

00:14:28.410 --> 00:14:30.960
- This is the piece of
the Hummer I was driving.

00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:33.870
My buddies brought it
back for me from Iraq.

00:14:33.870 --> 00:14:36.750
I drove over a bomb on our base.

00:14:36.750 --> 00:14:39.540
Our vehicle was kind of
pretty much blown in half.

00:14:39.540 --> 00:14:42.030
I remember I looked down at
my arm after the accident,

00:14:42.030 --> 00:14:44.610
I could see my bone down here

00:14:44.610 --> 00:14:46.530
and I felt some weirdness in my right leg

00:14:46.530 --> 00:14:49.080
and I didn't know that
my fibula was broken

00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:50.733
until a couple hours later.

00:14:52.620 --> 00:14:57.270
It's not a crazy firefight,
it's not an intense situation,

00:14:57.270 --> 00:14:58.500
like they got me, you know,

00:14:58.500 --> 00:15:00.120
and I can't do anything about it.

00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:03.330
And so for a long time I
struggled with leaving Iraq

00:15:03.330 --> 00:15:04.890
not on my own terms,

00:15:04.890 --> 00:15:07.313
and it was very uncomfortable
for me for a long time.

00:15:08.400 --> 00:15:09.810
I couldn't sleep.

00:15:09.810 --> 00:15:12.603
I started feeling really
weird and I had no idea why.

00:15:13.710 --> 00:15:15.660
Instead of having to go through the VA

00:15:15.660 --> 00:15:19.500
and try to find an appointment
next month or two months,

00:15:19.500 --> 00:15:21.750
I would just drive to the ER
whenever I wasn't feeling good,

00:15:21.750 --> 00:15:23.670
because I would be seen right away.

00:15:23.670 --> 00:15:26.310
More than a few times, like,
just going for chest x-rays

00:15:26.310 --> 00:15:30.120
because I felt like my chest
was gonna explode, you know?

00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:32.490
And they're like, "Well, you're fine."

00:15:32.490 --> 00:15:34.547
It's like, "Well, I
don't really feel fine."

00:15:35.610 --> 00:15:37.500
As a father, as a man, as a Marine,

00:15:37.500 --> 00:15:40.380
like, I'm trying to understand
what's going on with me.

00:15:40.380 --> 00:15:42.580
I never talked to my
kids about any of that.

00:15:43.650 --> 00:15:46.200
- I remember him being
really sleepy all the time,

00:15:46.200 --> 00:15:48.900
but telling me he didn't sleep good.

00:15:48.900 --> 00:15:50.400
But to me it didn't really make sense,

00:15:50.400 --> 00:15:53.430
'cause how do you sleep, like, all day,

00:15:53.430 --> 00:15:56.250
but you're not sleeping good,

00:15:56.250 --> 00:15:59.223
but you're in your room
in the dark all day?

00:16:00.870 --> 00:16:03.390
He would get angry really fast.

00:16:03.390 --> 00:16:06.420
Like your belt loop
getting stuck on the door

00:16:06.420 --> 00:16:09.240
when you're walking by,
he would get so angry,

00:16:09.240 --> 00:16:10.833
and, like, slam the door.

00:16:13.440 --> 00:16:15.850
I was scared to be around him or

00:16:16.890 --> 00:16:19.740
I didn't like being around him
'cause all he did was sleep

00:16:19.740 --> 00:16:21.333
and he didn't hang out with me.

00:16:23.400 --> 00:16:27.450
He has to stop being the way he is

00:16:27.450 --> 00:16:30.093
if he wants me and my
brother to be around him.

00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:36.240
- I knew my father when I was young

00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:39.870
and so I knew he wasn't the same,

00:16:39.870 --> 00:16:41.820
but I knew that he didn't
have to be the same.

00:16:41.820 --> 00:16:43.950
He could come with all his brokenness

00:16:43.950 --> 00:16:45.120
and all his insecurities

00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:47.190
and all the things that
he was dealing with

00:16:47.190 --> 00:16:48.890
and he could still be a great man.

00:16:53.670 --> 00:16:56.700
- The brain chemistry and the brain wiring

00:16:56.700 --> 00:17:01.170
that promotes social behavior
for all social mammals

00:17:01.170 --> 00:17:04.473
looks most alike in humans and in dogs.

00:17:05.580 --> 00:17:09.843
They are most like us in the
brain systems of friendship.

00:17:11.910 --> 00:17:15.810
The neurohormone oxytocin
is sitting at the center

00:17:15.810 --> 00:17:18.600
of what we now know as
our social brain network,

00:17:18.600 --> 00:17:22.890
and it's essential to the
survival of all social mammals.

00:17:22.890 --> 00:17:26.490
A dog can read our mind
through sight and smell

00:17:26.490 --> 00:17:29.070
and interpretation of our body language.

00:17:29.070 --> 00:17:31.503
They are able to read us like a book.

00:17:32.610 --> 00:17:34.260
That makes them good partners.

00:17:34.260 --> 00:17:36.900
They respond very empathetically to us

00:17:36.900 --> 00:17:39.450
because of this oxytocin
brain system that they have

00:17:39.450 --> 00:17:41.730
that's so similar to ours.

00:17:41.730 --> 00:17:44.070
Looking into our dog's
eyes when we come home

00:17:44.070 --> 00:17:46.620
and that tail's wagging
and you're brushing them

00:17:46.620 --> 00:17:48.270
and you're saying, "Hello, hello, hello,

00:17:48.270 --> 00:17:49.620
I'm happy to see you, too."

00:17:49.620 --> 00:17:52.890
The sight, the sound,
the smell, the touch,

00:17:52.890 --> 00:17:56.520
all of that interaction is
releasing the brain chemistry

00:17:56.520 --> 00:17:57.363
of bonding.

00:17:58.200 --> 00:18:01.263
That is also the brain
chemistry of anti-stress.

00:18:02.790 --> 00:18:04.083
And so we relax.

00:18:06.150 --> 00:18:07.680
- We went back to couples therapy

00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:12.150
and his doctor in Monterey,
Dr. K, asked me, you know,

00:18:12.150 --> 00:18:14.703
what I thought about Ramon
having a service animal.

00:18:16.110 --> 00:18:18.307
- When I brought him
home, I mean, it was just,

00:18:18.307 --> 00:18:19.740
"Okay, now I have a dog.

00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:22.500
It's not just a regular
dog, it's a service dog."

00:18:22.500 --> 00:18:25.950
Now he's, you know, he has
to be with me all the time.

00:18:25.950 --> 00:18:27.578
So he knows I'm anxious right now.

00:18:27.578 --> 00:18:29.670
(Meg laughs)

00:18:29.670 --> 00:18:31.320
And it was the first day
that I brought him home

00:18:31.320 --> 00:18:33.270
and I'm like, you know, still wondering

00:18:33.270 --> 00:18:35.160
how's a dog gonna help me out?

00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:36.480
We're watching TV in the living room

00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:39.300
and a firework went off.

00:18:39.300 --> 00:18:42.480
I wasn't in the moment and he jumped on me

00:18:42.480 --> 00:18:43.953
and started licking my face.

00:18:45.180 --> 00:18:48.740
And at first it kind of like, it got me,

00:18:48.740 --> 00:18:49.800
it pissed me off.

00:18:49.800 --> 00:18:50.970
I was all like, "Hey, get away!

00:18:50.970 --> 00:18:52.320
What are you doing?"

00:18:52.320 --> 00:18:55.350
But then my wife ran out,
"Did you see what he just did?

00:18:55.350 --> 00:18:58.980
He got you not thinking
about the firework."

00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:02.250
And I was like, "Oh wow,
it did really work."

00:19:02.250 --> 00:19:06.690
- You know, my area is
to study the science

00:19:06.690 --> 00:19:08.760
of why it works.

00:19:08.760 --> 00:19:12.150
But when it comes to that
pairing, that's the art.

00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:14.340
It's not a science.

00:19:14.340 --> 00:19:18.000
Learning how to train a
dog to be a service dog,

00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:22.770
that kind of focused
attention and patience

00:19:22.770 --> 00:19:26.250
and empathy that it takes.

00:19:26.250 --> 00:19:30.750
It is better at reducing
the symptoms of PTSD

00:19:30.750 --> 00:19:34.380
than any of the therapies
that are on offer right now.

00:19:34.380 --> 00:19:38.190
- I'd rather be with my dog
than actually my own therapist.

00:19:38.190 --> 00:19:42.660
The VA, because this place is
such a high cost of living,

00:19:42.660 --> 00:19:45.150
a lot of the therapists,
they have to move,

00:19:45.150 --> 00:19:46.260
because they can't afford it,

00:19:46.260 --> 00:19:47.850
they're not getting paid enough.

00:19:47.850 --> 00:19:51.300
So it's the whole thing of
changing therapists all the time.

00:19:51.300 --> 00:19:52.133
- [Meg] Yeah.

00:19:52.133 --> 00:19:53.580
- And having to start all over again,

00:19:53.580 --> 00:19:55.860
that's what just, it
aggravates the hell out of me.

00:19:55.860 --> 00:19:57.600
- No, it's not helpful,

00:19:57.600 --> 00:20:00.693
and that's why the dogs are the constant.

00:20:04.140 --> 00:20:05.883
- When I'm stressed and anxious,

00:20:06.720 --> 00:20:10.920
she climbs up and just leans
her weight back into my chest

00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:14.913
and we just sit here and I settle down.

00:20:17.100 --> 00:20:20.910
Those times when I'm starting
to get irritated, annoyed,

00:20:20.910 --> 00:20:24.930
angry, anxious, she alerts me to it

00:20:24.930 --> 00:20:26.910
before I have an anxiety attack,

00:20:26.910 --> 00:20:29.190
before I lose my temper.

00:20:29.190 --> 00:20:34.190
I'm present a lot more in my
life than I ever have been.

00:20:37.620 --> 00:20:42.620
I concluded my service
partially because I came out

00:20:42.630 --> 00:20:46.380
and the witch hunts and
living in fear constantly.

00:20:46.380 --> 00:20:47.613
Don't ask, don't tell.

00:20:48.990 --> 00:20:52.953
Also because of a sexual
assault that occurred.

00:20:54.420 --> 00:20:58.320
So it just didn't feel
like someplace I could

00:20:58.320 --> 00:21:00.153
stay and be healthy.

00:21:02.580 --> 00:21:05.910
Artemis has affected my entire life,

00:21:05.910 --> 00:21:08.130
both going out in public, being at work.

00:21:08.130 --> 00:21:11.193
She's helped my marriage quite a bit.

00:21:12.840 --> 00:21:17.160
- Just hugely satisfying to
know that Kim has this critter

00:21:17.160 --> 00:21:18.510
that loves her as much as I do

00:21:18.510 --> 00:21:22.233
and that can calm her when I'm not there.

00:21:23.520 --> 00:21:27.840
- You can't just hide your
feelings and emotions,

00:21:27.840 --> 00:21:31.560
'cause these darn dogs, they know.

00:21:31.560 --> 00:21:34.230
They can smell it, they can feel it.

00:21:34.230 --> 00:21:38.130
But she knows that I am her
partner and I am her job.

00:21:38.130 --> 00:21:41.613
She understands that her place
is with me everywhere I go.

00:21:42.690 --> 00:21:47.690
- I can see that Kim functions
in her day-to-day life,

00:21:47.910 --> 00:21:51.600
having to deal with people
or deal with situations

00:21:51.600 --> 00:21:55.443
just a little more relaxed,
a little more calmly.

00:21:56.340 --> 00:22:00.000
She, you know, has Artemis
that's next to her,

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.200
that can lean against her and
provide that physical contact,

00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:06.540
and also something for her to do.

00:22:06.540 --> 00:22:07.680
You know, she's holding the leash,

00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:10.833
she's aware of interacting
with the crowd with the dog.

00:22:12.219 --> 00:22:15.693
- I can't even express how
important the training is.

00:22:16.890 --> 00:22:18.270
We're learning to do things

00:22:18.270 --> 00:22:22.083
that I had no idea dogs could learn.

00:22:24.210 --> 00:22:27.630
- Dogs actually provide neurochemically,

00:22:27.630 --> 00:22:30.720
sensory, emotionally and socially

00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:34.500
a very rich experience for us

00:22:34.500 --> 00:22:38.010
that can fill a hole that
can be left when human

00:22:38.010 --> 00:22:41.913
social relationships are
not rewarding or available.

00:22:43.710 --> 00:22:46.950
For military sexual trauma,

00:22:46.950 --> 00:22:51.950
there is a very ugly and
dangerous aspect to that,

00:22:52.620 --> 00:22:56.193
because it isn't just sexual trauma.

00:22:57.060 --> 00:22:58.743
As if that isn't bad enough.

00:22:59.760 --> 00:23:02.910
It's a form of incest as well,

00:23:02.910 --> 00:23:05.073
because this was your band of brothers.

00:23:06.330 --> 00:23:10.053
That is a particularly devastating injury.

00:23:10.980 --> 00:23:14.130
And so you might have
human trust destroyed,

00:23:14.130 --> 00:23:18.690
but this dog never did
anything to not earn your trust

00:23:18.690 --> 00:23:21.150
and your love and your compassion,

00:23:21.150 --> 00:23:25.860
and keep that part of you in
your heart and your brain alive

00:23:25.860 --> 00:23:29.843
until humans prove
themselves worthy again.

00:23:32.070 --> 00:23:35.340
- [Meg] I always say, you
know, once upon a time,

00:23:35.340 --> 00:23:37.653
dogs protected us from enemies without.

00:23:38.670 --> 00:23:41.253
Now they're protecting us
from the enemies within.

00:23:45.180 --> 00:23:48.420
- It took a while, some adapting
for both of us, I believe.

00:23:48.420 --> 00:23:50.280
It was almost discouraging in a sense,

00:23:50.280 --> 00:23:53.040
because I was taking on
more responsibilities

00:23:53.040 --> 00:23:55.950
when I really didn't have myself in order.

00:23:55.950 --> 00:24:00.513
But they're there to
usher you back into life.

00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:07.640
Just having someone there to
consistently be around you,

00:24:08.520 --> 00:24:10.590
to understand you, in a sense,

00:24:10.590 --> 00:24:13.140
definitely helped me lose that edge.

00:24:13.140 --> 00:24:16.470
And it's good to know when
I'm talking during the day,

00:24:16.470 --> 00:24:18.870
I'm talking to someone
instead of talking to myself.

00:24:18.870 --> 00:24:22.380
Makes me feel better
about myself. (laughs)

00:24:22.380 --> 00:24:25.143
- Samson has softened my dad's heart.

00:24:26.580 --> 00:24:27.840
I know he's worked through a lot of things

00:24:27.840 --> 00:24:29.700
and I see it in the day to day,

00:24:29.700 --> 00:24:31.983
working on his patience,
working on his love.

00:24:33.150 --> 00:24:35.040
It's not easy sometimes as a man

00:24:35.040 --> 00:24:36.440
to connect with your father.

00:24:37.384 --> 00:24:41.190
So I think Samson's also
softened my heart a little bit,

00:24:41.190 --> 00:24:43.240
restoring my relationship with my father.

00:24:45.090 --> 00:24:46.680
- And I still see shapes and colors

00:24:46.680 --> 00:24:48.180
when I close my eyes at night.

00:24:49.620 --> 00:24:52.320
Pulsating and spinning behind
eyelids squeezing tight.

00:24:53.880 --> 00:24:57.483
Tears within birthing tears within.

00:24:59.070 --> 00:25:00.303
And they still fall.

00:25:01.950 --> 00:25:05.523
They still fall.
(audience applauds)

00:25:07.380 --> 00:25:08.577
Oh, thank you, I appreciate it.

00:25:08.577 --> 00:25:10.067
Thanks for attending.
- Really just loved it.

00:25:10.067 --> 00:25:11.880
- Appreciate it, thank you.

00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:16.590
- I noticed my dad changed a
lot when Samson came around

00:25:16.590 --> 00:25:19.593
as far as being more patient.

00:25:20.520 --> 00:25:22.020
We'll hang out a lot more, like,

00:25:22.020 --> 00:25:26.850
as far as watching movies
together or eating together.

00:25:26.850 --> 00:25:30.300
My dad, like, holds him
like a baby on the couch

00:25:30.300 --> 00:25:31.980
when they sleep together.

00:25:31.980 --> 00:25:34.890
Like, it's just small,
funny stuff like that,

00:25:34.890 --> 00:25:36.900
that kind of like,

00:25:36.900 --> 00:25:39.000
we wouldn't laugh at stuff
like that, obviously,

00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:40.413
if we didn't have Samson.

00:25:42.472 --> 00:25:45.305
(heartfelt music)

00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:51.900
- Hiding feelings that
continuously make me numb

00:25:51.900 --> 00:25:54.210
to interactions and emotions,

00:25:54.210 --> 00:25:56.050
floating in an ocean of doubt

00:25:57.390 --> 00:25:58.803
without anyone in sight.

00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:05.190
And I'm fighting to
keep my head above water

00:26:05.190 --> 00:26:08.340
and I hear my daughter say, "I love you."

00:26:08.340 --> 00:26:12.240
and my son say, "I need you."

00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:16.230
I can't believe I let days turn to years

00:26:16.230 --> 00:26:19.773
of my children living
in fear of their father.

00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:24.513
It bothers me to the depths of my soul.

00:26:26.010 --> 00:26:29.373
But I feel whole when the
three of us are together.

00:26:31.290 --> 00:26:35.010
And I never want the day to end

00:26:35.010 --> 00:26:38.787
without them hearing me say, "I love you."

00:26:45.060 --> 00:26:47.340
- [Mary] There are so many different ways

00:26:47.340 --> 00:26:49.650
a service dog is a lifeline.

00:26:49.650 --> 00:26:52.233
It's tethering them to
the here and the now.

00:26:53.250 --> 00:26:57.813
A reconnection to family,
unconditional love.

00:26:59.220 --> 00:27:02.580
Having learned to trust a service dog

00:27:02.580 --> 00:27:04.593
the world begins to open up again.

00:27:06.269 --> 00:27:09.436
(rollercoaster roars)

00:27:13.516 --> 00:27:16.266
(water splashes)

00:27:17.823 --> 00:27:20.906
- One, two, three, cheese, thank you!

00:27:22.770 --> 00:27:24.540
- As long as Huey's with him,

00:27:24.540 --> 00:27:27.720
he can go to places that I'd never thought

00:27:27.720 --> 00:27:29.640
he'd be able to go to.

00:27:29.640 --> 00:27:33.343
We can go and Huey's there
and he gets through it.

00:27:36.900 --> 00:27:40.920
- Since I've gotten Huey, him
and I have been inseparable.

00:27:40.920 --> 00:27:42.990
He knows when I'm angry, you know,

00:27:42.990 --> 00:27:46.593
he just comforts me in
so many different ways.

00:27:48.499 --> 00:27:53.499
(people shout)
(rollercoaster roars)

00:27:59.610 --> 00:28:01.240
- My dad smiles a lot more

00:28:02.460 --> 00:28:05.403
and he's happier more because of Huey.

00:28:07.890 --> 00:28:09.933
Huey has helped the family a lot.

00:28:11.430 --> 00:28:14.610
- [IzaBella] Huey's made it
easier for my dad to come out.

00:28:14.610 --> 00:28:18.093
Just having him around is
honestly the best thing ever.

00:28:22.710 --> 00:28:27.647
- She helps create space
around me and watches my back.

00:28:33.647 --> 00:28:37.397
(heartfelt music)
We're good.

00:28:39.171 --> 00:28:42.921
So it allows me to be
able to go out and feel

00:28:44.033 --> 00:28:44.866
safe.

00:28:48.101 --> 00:28:51.351
And actually believe like I deserve it.

00:28:52.821 --> 00:28:55.654
(heartfelt music)

00:29:21.872 --> 00:29:25.539
(heartfelt music continues)

00:30:03.104 --> 00:30:06.771
(heartfelt music continues)