WEBVTT

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[music]

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In 1992, an Iranian student,

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Habib, committed suicide
outside a small Ontario town.

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Later, I visited the site
where he hanged himself

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under this tree. He was so
determined to kill himself…

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When the rope broke on his first attempt,
he was given a second chance at life.

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He never took it.

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Like me, Habib was an
ex-political prisoner from Iran.

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Trying to understand his act of
desperation drove me to make this film.

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Why, after so many years of
struggle and escaped to Canada,

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did he kill himself?

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Wondering what images and memories
Habib had created in his head

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I turned to my animation.

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Were they like the ones in my picture
diary, images of political madness,

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escape and isolation?

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Images can provide a common language

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that brings people together
from all over the world.

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If it were not for the
conspiracy of silence

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shared by so many of us.
Demonstrations, acts of rebellion,

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art and even suicide are the
different ways we tell our story.

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I never learned Habib’s a story,

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but there are many like him.

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How does one survive imprisonment,

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escape and exile? I needed to know
how others would tell their stories.

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Start from here.

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Let’s put the first one up here.
I was nobody

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because I didn’t have any history here. I had
a name and based on the name, I had to start

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to build a present identity,

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to work towards the future. But my past

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it was something totally irrelevant
to this society. I came to Canada.

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That was the best thing
that I could pursue my…

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my questions, and follow my questions.
Go and get some… educating myself,

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study sociology, economics,
philosophy, history,

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you need to know about what’s happening
in the world. It was so cold!

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I actually called my mom from the bank, and I said, \"If you’re not
doing anything, then can you pick me up and then drop me off?\"

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When I was arrested in
Iran, I was 18 years old,

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that was in 1982. My son was one year old.

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It was four days after his birthday.

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The government started to arrest all
of the oppositions. I was one of them.

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[music]

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And they told my parents, \"We’re just
gonna take her for a few questions.

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She’s gonna be out by tomorrow.\"
I came out eight years later.

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[sil.]

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Yeah!

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Oh! I don’t know

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when my son…

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can hug his father and my daughter and me

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can hug each other. We are a family,

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but we are separated, I don’t know why.
What color do you wanna?

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I wanna this. That’s right.
The immigration tells me,

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\"You have to wait and wait.\"
And we are waiting for

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four years to live with each other.

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[sil.]

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I was 19 years old. I was in the jail for
five years with thousands of people,

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people that… They lost their life

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because of their beliefs.

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I had a long way to come to Canada.

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The first impression was the cold.
I felt I flew to the

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North Pole, actually!

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[sil.]

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[music]

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Wherever I go, basically,
I update different people

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and different communities
on what is happening

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to Iranian people in prisons, to women

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and children, and in terms
of the civil liberties of…

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of the population of Iran, which is
being continuously and systematically

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abused by Islamic regime already.

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I had been active in left organizations
in Iran a long, long time ago,

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during the shah. At that time, I
was captured at the high school

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and sent to prison for a
year, because I’d supported

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the nationalization of oil against British
Petroleum. Actually, I was part of

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the student opposition at that time.

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In 1953, the elected
government of Mossadegh

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was overthrown by CIA conspiracy

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and the British intelligence. Both actually
got together and used military force

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to overthrow his government and
re-establish the dictatorial form

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of regime by the shah.

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He was in the power for 27 years.

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We were in the revolution against shah.
We wanted to change.

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We wanted to have a
democracy in our country.

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In speech, in every,
every aspect, you know.

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The Revolution in Iran
happened during 1979,

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and it overthrowed the Shah government

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in the winter of 1979.

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It was a small period of
time, of Liberty, freedom.

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We had lots of demonstration,
I do remember.

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They were asking question

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because they wanted to change.

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I was arrested for numerous times. I
was beaten, yet let free. The rule of

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the Islamist force was not yet total.

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The direction of the Revolution changed

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and these ideas of freedom
and democracy were betrayed.

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And unfortunately, we ended up with
another dictator Ayatullah Khomeini.

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The government use

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mainly intimidation tactics to
intimidate the opposition groups

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into a state of calm,
or state of obedience.

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During this time, civil and
human liberties were attacked,

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civil and human rights were under constant
pressure. There was an escalating trend

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towards more and more violence,
to the point that in 1981,

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there was a drastic change.

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I was captured by Hizbollah around the end

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of 1981. And I spent

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almost eight years in
many different prisons

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of Islamic regime in Tehran.
It was evident for us

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that… this is this is
calling for our blood,

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this is calling for our life, this
is calling for our self-sacrifice.

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But in my country, you can’t have
different ideas and talk about

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that, you know. You have to just quiet.

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And that’s why that I

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was, uh… in jail three years. They
arrested us, me and my husband.

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They put me in the trunk.

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We were in Tehran. They moved us to…

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around 20 hours time.

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They send me to the main jail

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in Tehran, called \"Evin.\"

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It was crowded, awfully crowded.
When I got there,

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I was shocked. It was a room
of five by nine meters,

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or something like this.

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Ninety-two people living in one room.
And at the same time, there were

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two pregnant women there. Some
people were talking, laughing.

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Another person, just
beside them, was crying.

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Another person was praying.

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The kids were there. Babies.

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We had to sleep like a book. It was like
a book. You couldn’t sleep like that

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because there isn’t any space there. So
it was the first… first night for me.

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And the person beside me and the other
one, they told me, \"Don’t move that much.

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Just sit, and then roll over.\" We
push each other more to give the

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pregnant woman more space, that
at least they can sleep well.

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The first few weeks we were
under investigation, actually.

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And you’re going there. Too much
pressure, too much things happen there,

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asking questions, beating you.
At that moment,

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you’re not thinking about the freedom,
you’re thinking about how you get out

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from this question? How should
you manage this question?

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How should you escape from this question?
And not to give any information.

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But you’re looking for
the best way to be alive

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and to hold yourself, and
not to cooperate with them.

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In black fortress where I was
imprisoned, the space was just about

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one meter and… and about half,

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to about two meter. I was with… with over

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35 other prisoners living in the cell.
We had diarrhea,

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skin disease… Only each eight hours,

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they would let us out for 20 minutes.
And as a result, we had

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plastic bags from our breath, and
relieved ourselves in the cell.

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For the first time, I saw my girl…

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they kept her very far from me.
She was just one year.

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If I don’t give him
information that they need

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they can pressure me with my daughter.

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And I show them I don’t care, bye,

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\"I want to go,\" because I was afraid
if you show them that I’m very,

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very dependent to my daughter,

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maybe they hurt her. You
had a trial or not?

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A court? Going to the court?
Court? Maybe 10 minutes.

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They talk together, \"She’s
killer.\" \"She’s no Muslim.

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She don’t know God.\" \"She’s
bad, bad, bad, bad.\"

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\"So I want you to let us
kill her.\" That’s it.

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You can hear

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a lot of times about human rights,

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about peace,

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and also about business, technology.

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On the other side, in the Earth,

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not very far, half a day, you can go there

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and see a lot of mother or father

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that they lost their children

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just because they want to make

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a society with peace. Nothing else.
It’s not fair.

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They took me

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to a judge for almost three minutes.
\"We’re gonna

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sentence you to a life sentence

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and give you a sentence of being lashed three
times a day at every time of the prayer,

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till you be converted to Islam.

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The solitary confinement
that was used prior to 1981,

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they were developed and evolved into

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something that they called
boxing, or graving wherein

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the person was placed inside a box.

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The rule was that you couldn’t
talk, you couldn’t lean

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on any of these walls.
You had to sit still,

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without any support for 15 hours,

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and you couldn’t cough, you couldn’t
sneeze, you couldn’t break your knuckles

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because all of this was
like sign of being alive.

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It’s just like being chained,
but with invisible chains.

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And all the time, we are listening.
It was a TV.

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We couldn’t see. We had to listen
to speeches, to speech all the time

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and they wanted to brainwash with

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this kind of pressure, you know. Like
when I was sitting in the coffin,

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for the first couple of months, I tried
to deny the rigid what was happening

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to… to me. I tried to not listen
to the propaganda. Just block it.

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Not listen, deny it, I’m sitting here
and nothing’s gonna happen to me.

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But reality was harsher.

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After a couple of months I thought, \"I
can’t go like that.\" There is two ways,

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either I fall down and die,
in one way or another,

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or I resisted consciously.

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And I felt that if I want to resist it,

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I have to fight it actively.
I have to hear them

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and challenge them. And I have to

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re-instate my state of being.
All of those rules were

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to make you alone.

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I’ll try to imagine,

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to picture my son’s face, or
my mom’s face, and… [sil.]

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I’m sorry.

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[sil.]

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I couldn’t see more than two pictures.

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I didn’t have

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any other images.

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I felt that I’m loosing…

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I got scared.

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And I tried to remember

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my cousins’ names, to remember names

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I couldn’t remember.

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So I really had to train my mind again.

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And work hard

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to remember.

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And I was listening to everything. Every simple,
every little things coming from the outside world,

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I was, I was catching it.

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Finding life, and saying that it’s not

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finished.

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And trying to challenge what
they were trying to do with us,

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to say that there is no life.

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I was trying to find it. I
made friends with mosquitoes,

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with flies. It’s uh… I could watch,

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I wouldn’t push away the mosquito
sitting in my hand down,

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on my hand and sucking my blood. No.
I would watch it carefully,

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trying to see what… what
it’s doing, and seeing that

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it’s belly was getting swallowed
with my blood and getting red.

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And remembered that this
only the female mosquitoes

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bite because that’s for their

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procreation for… for making eggs.

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That was life. And hearing

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dogs barking from outside. It was
so beautiful. Even hearing that

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guards were outside, playing
something and laughing.

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These were people even if they’re guards.
And that’s life.

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I felt that moment I was very fragile.

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I…

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I can’t tell you I was, I
was thinking about myself,

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and I… I thought I was like a vase,

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that they put too much
pressure on me on this vase.

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When we cannot alter our
physical environment,

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the only thing that we can alter is our state
of consciousness. Producing an imaginary world.

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I was listening to my music.

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You know, sometimes it was really helpful.
I’d even put my volume up and down.

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I didn’t sing it. But just in my mind.

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With all the problem
that I have in the jail,

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I have to hold myself. I
have to hold my belief

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as a human being.

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And I tried my best to hold
this broken vase together.

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[sil.]

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Sometimes I felt that, \"Oh,
I wish I could allow myself

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to relax and go crazy. It’s easier.

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It’s more, uh… it’s more easy. Oh, my God,

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I’m done, finished. I want to,
please, if I… I wished I could

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cheat myself, fool myself and I say, \"Yes, I
believe in you. And now take me out of here.

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I can do anything for the government.\"
But I couldn’t. It was easy,

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in one way, but I couldn’t.

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Blindfolded and hanged
from… from the hangers

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on the wall, this was the
most torturous position

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that I had gone through, which
actually broke my collar bone right…

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right here. I was a lucky person.
Right in the middle of my tortures,

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I had a heart attack

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and a big stroke, getting close
to death, I saved my life.

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It was late in the night and

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I saw everybody in the room, 92
people were quiet. You can’t even

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hear the sound, even a breath and I asked…

00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
And suddenly, I heard a sound.

00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
It was like a dump truck

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
unloading something, like
iron, like gravel, like…

00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
it cracked, something like this.

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
And I asked, \"What is that?\" And the
person beside me told me, \"Be quiet.\"

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
And then, I saw they are
counting something.

00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.999
One, two, three, four,

00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
and I found that they were shooting.
The first sound

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
was gunshot. I started to cry.
I was shaking

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
because it was the first
time I heard this sound.

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
Every Wednesday and every Sunday,

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
we heard the same sound

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
for one year. I do remember,
even I counted up to

00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
100, 200, 3…

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
And this is very hard that

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
you are counting the \"Shoot\" of the people

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
that they were beside you
and they were like you.

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
They’re losing their life

00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
because of their belief. I remember them

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
very vividly. The last goodbyes.

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
The anxiety. The walking back and forth

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
between the time that they
called them and the time

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
that they took came and took them out.

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
You’re gonna, you’re
walking on your own feet

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
to be put against the wall. So fear

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
and trying to control it, everybody

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
everything is just radiating, comes
from your face, your eyes, your nervous

00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
laughing or smiling.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
And you, in my position, standing there,

00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
saying goodbye. Saying it’s okay.

00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
Hugging. Saying what? Try not to cry,

00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
because if you cry, makes
it difficult harder.

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
[sil.]

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
I was worried about my son.

00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
Then I sent in today United States

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
for studying. And he wanted to be engineer.

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
But after two years, he came back to Iran.
He was a journalist.

00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
He printed the newspaper
for political people.

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:34.999
He believed in equality between the
people, between men and women.

00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.999
He and his friends wanted to

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
free political prisoners and
the government soldiers

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
arrested him. After two months,

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
I found him in the prison, and
he… he was six months in prison.

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
When I heard the news by a
radio program, I was shocked.

00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
And I didn’t believe it.

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
My son’s name between the
people that were executed.

00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
Oh, I was shocked! I was
shouting very loud, very loud.

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
I remember, I ran away
in the street and phoned

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
my brother. And maybe for a while,

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
I lost my mind. I think so. At 21,

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
he was father. At 22, he died.

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
He was very handsome,

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
very tall, very green eyes. Yeah.

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
The government makes no effort to hide

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
the way they are treated. Execution,

00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
hanging in public is a way
of in fact showing people

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
what will happen to those who say no.
Or what will happen to those

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
who would not cooperate. In a
sense, the discipline is hacked

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
on the body of the people.
What matters is that

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
the survival of the revolution and
the survival of the Islamic regime

00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
stands way beyond any other
respect for individual life,

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
or for individual well-being, or
even for the communal well-being.

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
During 1981, the government in power

00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
succeeded in eliminating, very
successfully, by mass genocide,

00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
much of the political
organizations in the society.

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
They took me with other people

00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
in a corridor and someplace that

00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
we didn’t go there before.

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
And the space was very, very scary.
Everything was quiet.

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
And when I opened my eyes, I saw that

00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
I’m sitting in a yard,

00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
very simple yard. And they said,

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
\"Sayed, come!\" He was very strong

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
and very lovely. And then

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
they put him in the wall and shoot him.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
Easy. He was my

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
husband’s friend.

00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
He wore a blue shirt,

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
very nice color, and then,

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
and this just one moment,

00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
his shirt was blue and red.

00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
And I saw him.

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
And he felt on the floor.

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
I couldn’t think, \"How… how can I tell her,

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
my friend, that your husband
was shot was killed.\"

00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
But I had to tell her,

00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
because there was nobody else to tell her

00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
this bad news, like me.

00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
And I told her.

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
[sil.]

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
We hug together.

00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
We cried together.

00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
And also, we promised
together that we’d be strong.

00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
I got the promise from her
that she’d be strong.

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
\"Be strong, because Sayed wants that.

00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
Because you love him and so be strong.

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
It’s not finished. We
have to continue yet.\"

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
And she promised me

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
with her broken heart.

00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:43.000
[sil.]

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
That night, six young, intelligence

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
specialist, and high

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
education people, were
killed in front of me and…

00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:08.000
[sil.]

00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
I was in the coffins for nine months.

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
From the beginning they started
it till they closed it down.

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
Ninety percent of people who went there,

00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
they broke. Psychologically broke,

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
politically broke. And it
was going for too long.

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
So my… my friends there, we
all went to that coffins.

00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
When I saw them again,
we were all different,

00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
very different, broken.

00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
What was happening to us

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
was that a source of power
was trying to destroy

00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
a group of people, to destroy them
by taking their identity away,

00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
by taking their sense of autonomy,

00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
and fill it with something else.
Put them in the position

00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
of absolute powerlessness,

00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
and absolute helplessness
that, in that position,

00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
then you are ready to do anything,

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
to follow any order. From 1981

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
up to 1989, we had, as well,

00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
the war with Iraq. And so during this
time, the government used the war

00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
with Iraq as a pretext to continue
with the policy of total terror

00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
which ended in 1989 with the mass genocide

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
of all opposition prisoners,

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
or political prisoners, in the prison’s of

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
the Islamic governments.
They as successfully

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
eliminated up to 60,000 people.

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
And they managed to

00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
bury their bodies in mass graves. The
generation that we lost, friends

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
and brothers, sisters, family,
they are irreplaceable.

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
It’s an irredeemable rupture within
the structure of the society

00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
and within the flow of the
history in a society.

00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.999
So it’s a wound that can never heal.

00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.999
The world did not really show much compassion.
It was not very well reflected in the world.

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
What happened in 1990?

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
They started to

00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
release temporarily,

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
people and prisoners like me.
So they let us out,

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
for example, for one week. And after the
one week, our parents were supposed to

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
take us back to the jail. I could
convince my parents not to

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
take me to the jail. If they wanted
me, they can come and take me back.

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
Many prisoners who were released,

00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
shortly after, they were brought
back to prison and they were hanged.

00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.999
I decided to leave Iran secretly
not even telling my wife

00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.999
where I was going, and what I was doing.
I got the fake passport,

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
and the picture was a woman
that she was older than me,

00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
20, 15 years older than me. So I
was very thin at that moment.

00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
For the first time in my life I
put color on my hair, blonde.

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
And I have to change my
eyebrows to make it shorter.

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
Put lot of dresses on myself.
I have to be more larger,

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
you know, and to be fit
with the picture, you know.

00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
The border was on the top of

00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
like hill. And we were down

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
a little bit. And the two
smugglers, they told us that…

00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
that up there is the border.
And from here to there,

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
we don’t have any coverage. So
we have to run this distance.

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
We ran, we ran in till
we passed the border.

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
And after we ran a little bit more, then they said,
\"Okay, now we’re safe.\" But then we had to worry

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
about the Turkish guards and soldiers.

00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
I felt sad that I felt that it’s
gone, I can’t go back there.

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
And leaving everything else
behind those mountains.

00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
The airplane started to move.

00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
I couldn’t stop myself.

00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
I was crying hardly.

00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
It flew and I was looking at my City.
The place I was born,

00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
the place that I was in
the jail for five years.

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
It was my place, I had to leave.

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
And I told myself, \"How long do
I have to be apart from here?\"

00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
And for one hour,

00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:54.999
one hour and a half, I couldn’t stop
myself. I was shaking and crying.

00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.999
[sil.]

00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
But when we get to Canada, the smuggler
had told us that as soon as you

00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
touch Canadian Earth,
they can’t take you back.

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
And we were running, running, running through
these tunnels, and there’s no Earth.

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
Can’t touch anything. So
there’s no safety yet.

00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
And then we came to this custom thing.
And they were running after us,

00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
and officers. \"Hold them. Hold them.\"

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
And they came, try to send us back

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
to the airplane. We were holding this pose

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
whatever we had that was in that in the room.
\"If you send us back, they’re gonna kill us.

00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
We can’t go back.\" I was lucky, I
had some papers, documenting myself

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
that showed that I was in prison.
I had my letters from jail,

00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
Evin Prison, for example. It’s showing
that my claim is not a false claim.

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
[sil.]

00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
This person finds himself in front of a
challenge, of trying to adapt to a new culture

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
which emphasizes enjoying the moment,

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
yet every smell, every color,
every shade, in fact reminds

00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
that person of who he is, what
terrible story he has gone through.

00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
And what kind of pain this person
has lived up to this moment.

00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
[sil.]

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
I started also to get involved
with the Canadian people,

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
rather than staying in my own community.
With us today, we have

00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
Shokoufeh Sakhi student and research
assistant at York University.

00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
I fear that Ontario’s law
permitting private universities

00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
will displace areas of a study
that nurture Democratic Society.

00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
It’s only these last couple of
years, three years, four years,

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
that I’m feeling that I’m getting
into the society, into the people.

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
But first three, four years,
it was very difficult.

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
If we think that by simple dislocating

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
of the people, by simple bringing them

00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
to rather relaxed environment,
we have finished with the story.

00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
Now, the story is done,
finished, now, we start living

00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.999
such a thing is a dream. Such a
thing is too simplistic to work.

00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:44.999
Now I have nightmares of
being inside the jail

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
with my kids. And I’m screaming that my…

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
my baby has enough food, and how
should I keep them. Then I’m going for

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
interrogation, who’s
gonna take care of them?

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:08.000
[sil.]

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
The pain of survival stays with us, it stays
with all those that have gone through

00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
such kind of experience.
For a long time to come.

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
It took me a long time before I
could recuperate from prison.

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
I was under such pressure, psychologically,
that I could not even face my

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
closest friends and associates.

00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
Ex-political prisoners do not want to

00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
open themselves. Solitude is something that

00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
builds a wall around these people.
A protective wall.

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
Those who have gone through this
experience, their eyes are opened up

00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
to the capability

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
of all mankind to inflict
such kind of evil.

00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
And this sensitivity, this intuitive
sensitivity, remains in them.

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:18.000
[sil.]

00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
Normally, they say that every
suicide has a suicide note.

00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.999
This man leaves us no notes, nothing.
What he does, he leaves us something

00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
very telling about his feelings
with regard to this suicide.

00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
In that scene, he chose the
tree next to a highway

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:44.999
but that could give complete
visibility to people passing

00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:49.999
from that Highway during the daytime.
That highway was going to a university.

00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:54.999
A place that is very meaningful
for children political activists.

00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
He uses a rope. This rope breaks,

00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:04.999
snaps, now he gets a second chance in life.

00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:13.000
[sil.]

00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:24.999
The idea that he tries to give us is
that not only that he is so determined,

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.999
but also he is not willing to try it again.

00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.999
He would like to tell us that

00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.999
there is something so inevitable

00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:44.999
in our human arrangement today,
that it makes us very difficult,

00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.999
for someone who has been
awakened intuitively

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:54.999
to the sense of evil in human life, to accept that
a new chance is really is really a new chance.

00:43:55.000 --> 00:44:03.000
[sil.]

00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:19.999
Tomorrow is late, act now. Tomorrow is
late, act now. Tomorrow is late, act now.

00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:24.999
One thing that strikes us when we
come to their country like Canada,

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.999
is that these sorts of
problems are looked upon as

00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:34.999
problems of others.

00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:39.999
I see that in the society I’m living,

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.999
we’re already, without
anybody punishing us,

00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:49.999
we’re living in that isolated
class jail, and I am I,

00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:54.999
and you are I, another I,
and we’re not sharing,

00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:59.999
but nobody cares.

00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.999
That was one of the first terms that I learned
here, that who cares. I can go sit in my class

00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:09.999
beside the same person, for the whole year,

00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.999
not saying hello to each other. Here, I can
sit in front of somebody and open my orange

00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:19.999
and idiot with it offering, without even thinking
that there is another person here might like it.

00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.999
This can create all of the social problems.
And we see that

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.999
here the rate of the suicides among
different group of people, inuits,

00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:34.999
among young people and…

00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:39.999
and ex-prisoners.

00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:44.999
When somebody like me, or those
who are not among us anymore,

00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.999
they have such

00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:54.999
different history,

00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.999
such different experiences,
you look for different ways

00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.999
of reaching out. If it
doesn’t go, maybe there is

00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.999
a moment of despair.
‘Cause can’t go anymore.

00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.999
[sil.]

00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.999
If human society at large

00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.999
shows itself capable of sharing that pain,

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maybe that would be a new beginning.

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We all experience different type of pain.

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And we all

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try to, somehow

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overcome this. It just shows that we are

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capable of the worst and the best.

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And we’re not doomed. So
my whole point is that,

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somehow, we’re related to each other.
And somehow our well-being is related

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to each other. And we will need each other.
We’re not that much different.

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[music]

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[sil.]