WEBVTT

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[sil.]

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You know how ladies do

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go like this, they\'ll just
and they\'ll like that,

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I\'ll be like, how do you that, I\'m just real... I\'m
not real skinny and I\'ll be like and I can\'t do

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that one, I have to go like this or like this, but
I can only do with this one and go like this.

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And I go, man, how\'s this and it\'ll be like,
hey, oh, my God, I can\'t do this any more.

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Make

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your meal not out of a box, not out
of a can, not out of a window.

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It\'s 17 years we\'re making it this way.
It may take 17 more to get that.

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I think we have a virtual epidemic

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of childhood obesity that\'s threatening
the future of our children. Obesity is a

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serious risk factor for
cardiovascular diseases, cancer,

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but also a major risk factor for diabetes because
we\'ve already seen a dramatic increase in

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diabetes in children in the last ten years. We\'ve
believed that if we can change the life-styles

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though we can prevent the
epidemic of obesity.

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I think kids are really hungry for not only

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food, but for people to
care about them. All

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over the world and in every society
that\'s ever been studied, food

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has been the focus for people
to gather together. I think

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the kids are very disconnected
from their families. I think

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there are a lot of kids
that... that just eat

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out of... a little bit out of
unhappiness, out of loneliness. They feel

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isolated and this can lead to depression
and depression is one of those many

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things that can be of a cause for
childhood obesity. I wondered

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how I\'ve got this weight in the first
place, but when I start giving, I get

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depressed and more depressed, that\'s why I
actually eat something. When we eat together,

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it gives us the opportunity to talk to each
other and have better communication and

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when we eat ourselves, when we eat ourselves,
is we\'re just with ourselves you know,

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that loneliness again. If they have
people that care about them and that

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they have people that they too can
care for, then that can help them

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avoid feeling isolated and can
give them a sense of worth and

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belonging. In some ways, it\'s not so much
the food that\'s at the table, but it\'s the

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connection that people have when they are there
together around the table. When children eat

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at home, they eat better. They eat less saturated
fats, they have more vegetables with fruits,

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they\'ll also have to have soda pop, milk.
They less have to

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overeat because a certain amount
of food is prepared. If we want to

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do one important thing to help stem
the tide of childhood obesity,

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one of those things would be to eat together for
dinner. The breakdown of family connections,

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which is symbolized I think by the
breakdown of family meals, puts

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more children at risk for depression,
anxiety, other kinds of problems,

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which in turn can lead them to
feed themselves as a way to

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medicate themselves if you will to
handle their distance from their family.

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We really got disconnected from
our food probably in the 50s when

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food started to be imported from all around

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the world and we sort of put it
in the deep freeze and we got

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separated from nature and from
the source of the food. We

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felt like, it was inconvenient
to cook, it was too much

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work to prepare a meal. We\'d rather
have a sort of TV dinner sitting

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in front of the television set. This
all happened kind of... kind of

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slowly and in cities like this,
this kind of disconnect. It

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really changed the kind
of food that came to the

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table. And it also changed

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our culture. If kids were
sort of brought back

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to an experience of eating that
was with family and friends,

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this wouldn\'t be going on. It\'s
interesting to me that over the course of

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history, families and tribal groups

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have always eaten together.
Now in the past couple of

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generations, we\'ve lost that and
that\'s because we\'ve gotten so busy

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that we haven\'t valued taking time to
eat together. What I am finding is

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time is of the essence. And I
think time just blew... of

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not being able to do as
much as you\'d like to do

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in terms of meal preparation, make every
effort to make healthy food choices,

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but it\'s not like I come... I am able
to come home every day and start from

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scratch and develop or a create meal. It
was very challenging raising three kids.

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Um, it\'s rewarding too. But I am working

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you know, Monday through Friday, it can be
really difficult. I leave the house about seven

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o\' clock in the morning and I
get back home about seven, um,

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give or take 30 minutes. So
time for homework and dinner

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and togetherness can be really difficult.
I\'m trying to fit it

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all in there. I am tired, mommy is tired,

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mommies never have a break.
And then we start it all over

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again, thank you.(ph) Hopefully there
is something taken out for dinner.

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And then I\'m gonna get myself ready
for the next day. I don\'t expect to.

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Yes, you do. You have to iron your clothes and you
have to... (crosstalk) But you still have to get

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your clothes out, so I have to make sure they get their
clothes out because if they don\'t, it\'s chaos in the morning.

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Our over-scheduled world of kids
and adults has been devastating

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for family meals. We are
running all the time,

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our work schedules have increased.
So more adults are

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coming home late or working extra shifts.
And then in the

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last 20 or 25 years, children\'s schedules
have begun to mimic adults, that

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we have children on the run. We have their
sports activities scheduled over the

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dinner hour with nobody thinking much about it,
with the coaches and the schedulers doing it

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and with parents surrendering
a family dinner time to

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competitive activities that their
children are involved with. As family,

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as individuals, as people, we find ourselves
feeling like we have to do so much,

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we are working. It seems like in terms of our moral
fundamental level, it seems like we are working

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longer hours to try to support our families. And you
have to at some point try to figure out what is

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really important and is this a measure
of success in this family or is this

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actually sort of breaking the family apart.
The chronic sense of hurry,

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the... the menus now are 20 minutes,

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15 minutes, five minutes, do it
quickly and this really is hurting

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family life because
children have a different

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developmental pace and the children... we
we evolved for a different cultural

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climate, I mean if you put it like that that we are in now
and we are paying a price for it. We still go out to eat

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on a daily basis, which is more time
restrained for the business that

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we do, towing, it\'s all about time. There\'s
definitely a lot of time. I think in today\'s

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families, whether you are own and operate your business
whether you work in your community. Five one is available

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for any other tows. Let me know if there\'s
anything else going on. Good morning.

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We have been eating out a lot because...
Eating out probably a good five, six days

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a week. By the time you come home and prepare a meal,
it takes a good 20 minutes to an hour to prepare.

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He guarantees when I cook for an
hour, well, it\'s fast (crosstalk).

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But then you look at the flip side of that,
that alright you prepare and I can go

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in 20 minutes, but I got ten pans and all the plates and
all the saucers. Yeah, and I\'m loving all that clean up

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and believe me family time is not in the kitchen
for cleaning(crosstalk). If a family prefers to

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eat out all the time and they do make it as an
opportunity to connect and that\'s a good thing for them.

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What I think though is that this is difficult
to do for most families over time,

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it costs a lot of time. $24,000 easily.
No. Easily.

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Family meal is not just the eating though.

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It\'s also the preparation, the set up

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and clean ups. Some of the
best connection that kids

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have with their parents is in the kitchen
while the meal is being made. They

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can also learn at a very young age to help set
up the table which makes children a part of

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the meal ritual. This is how I set

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the table. Now, I\'ll tell you how I do it.
You can see how I

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fold and strap, and
that\'s how you make them.

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I\'m going to sit here. Okay. well,
put your fork down. The baby. Okay.

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Now, put one over here. Mommy. Okay.

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The daddy. Okay, good job. And then we
have to do the clean up. You know, after

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dinner, when you got maybe half an hour
before 9 o\'clock before they have to go to

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bed because the homework hasn\'t been done. We have to
spend half an hour on the homework because I worked

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from 2 o\'clock to 6 o\'clock at the shop, we weren\'t really
monitoring them and then all of a sudden oh, I still got to

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write this page on the computer.
Well, I\'m reading.

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[sil.]

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When you eat out, they do the dishes
for you. It’s well worth itself.

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In terms of parenting, it is more of a
challenge to get the family together for meal

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time. My husband has a schedule that\'s not
consistent with mine. Well, I like to be

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here on weekends. That way you know we can work as
a family, preparing meals and things like that.

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It\'s a juggling act. But we can do
something about that. The first step in

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making a family meal happen is valuing it.
We thank god for our food, amen. Now, I

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say that. Julian, just say amen, please.
Julian, just say amen. Amen.

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All right. Amen. And if families value
having dinner together, then they

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can work it into the schedule. Our parents work all
day. We never use to see them because we\'re at

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school and after school, we have to wait for a couple of hours when we come home
and dinner is like the only time we basically get to talk about what happened

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during our day and just to get to socialize again.
Well, you have to be responsible and tell me

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what time school\'s out and then

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we can work from that information. It\'s important to sit
around and communicate and... because I have to know,

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you know, what are my kids thinking. You
know, I have to know what makes them happy,

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what makes them sad, if they had a good day and why was
it a good day. You can\'t just tell me you had a good day.

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Well, what was so good about the day? You know, or if they had
a bad day, well, how can I make it better? Let me help you

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with that. Julian, what was one of the
best things that happened to you today?

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Well, one of the fun things that you
did today that you really enjoyed? My

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enjoy... what I\'m doing right

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now. Okay, and what is that? I\'m eating.
It nurtures the entire family.

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Often times, discussions of family history,

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family customs, family cultures are
discussed at the table. Yeah, I enjoyed

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when my granny was there and we took a walk.
It\'s also an opportunity for parents to model

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the types of behaviors that they want
their children to develop over time.

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Thank you. Sharing food, passing the bread,

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passing the milk, or passing the

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chicken. It’s like you understand that there
is process but you\'re part of that process

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and you\'re sharing in something
that\'s nourishing to your

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spirit, your mind and your soul.
So, dinner time is that one window

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when parents can become
vulnerable and children can

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feel safe and they can be vulnerable too. It\'s
the time when we are no longer individualists

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doing our individual thing or children
have a parent one on one. It\'s the time

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when the whole group is together eating
more or less the same food, engaging

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in more or less the same conversation
and creating what I call their family

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culture or civilization together. That\'s
good cutting. You know, if you cut it

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up on this ballpark that
galley won\'t be there.

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That\'s why we have to see children as citizens
of families if you will, as participants

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in the rituals. Colin\'s a pretty cook.
What do you like best about

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making food? That I get to help.

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Okay, a bit more, good job.
Little bit more. Very good,

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that\'s very good, nice and hot.
Put your butter inside. Okay.

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No, no, no. No, no, no, inside.

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Now what should I do? Okay, hold on,

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one second, you can stir the water to mommy. And the
older they get, the more they can uniquely participate

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and they will enjoy it more when
they do participate. The time

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is not your best friend. When you start at 7
o\'clock in morning or 6 o\'clock in the morning,

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you start your day, you\'re constantly looking at the
clock. It\'s to the point that I even hate wearing a watch

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because I\'m constantly, okay, this, this, this. I can\'t
even concentrate on anything else. It’s overwhelming

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sometimes when you\'re looking at, okay, I\'ve got to do this, I\'ve
got to do that, I\'ve got to do this or that and you start writing

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list and then you\'re like, overwhelm and you find yourself, \"God you
know, and then I gotta cook dinner tonight.\" You can ask yourself

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how many meals, how many dinners
let\'s say do we want to have

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per week as a family? Do we want to make sure
we have four or five or six or whatever?

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And then build those in and
then make your other decisions

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about your schedule. I know we\'re setting the
example for these guys. I know that we are.

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I think I would really have to have
down-to-heart conversation with

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right commitment to say,
okay, this is part of

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my daily life, you know, and we have
to say on Sunday\'s to settle our

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time to kind of plan the menu for the week. Having to planned
menu really believe me is kind of like planning your clothes

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for the week. You\'re in a big hurry and you look
over, ok cool, I\'m going to grab that and go,

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that makes a big difference is planning your meals without
a doubt. But that doesn\'t mean that if families can\'t

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do that that they\'ve failed. Some
families really make a point of

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eating together once a week, maybe
its Sunday dinner, maybe its

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Friday evening before everybody heads their own
separate directions with their friends. So, even

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then once a week if they put some
energy into the quality of the meal

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and conversation, that can be enough.
You know, once the kids are grown up,

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you don\'t have that time back again. So,
all you have is memories, you know, that

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you don\'t want them to remember you working
all day and not really having time to,

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you know, to ask them how was their day
or find out what they ate. When we eat

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together, we get to know each other better
and then we donate with each other.

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You really don\'t know your family that much.
We eat together now right maybe three

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days a week. We\'d come together, eat our
food and talk about the past, laugh, joke,

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play, you do all constants. It\'s

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good. It\'s wonderful. You don\'t
even think about what you\'re eating

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because you\'re too busy just being together with
your family, right, and that\'s the support.

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That\'s your foundation right there to be able to be
together with the people that you love and care most

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about. I\'m trying to encourage my son

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to be active. Try and encourage him to engage in healthy
life styles and I feel like I have an obligation

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as a parent to do that because again,
I want him to grow into an adult.

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I want him to be around when his grandchildren are
here, so he can enjoy his grandchildren. I just want

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them to make better choices, feel good about themselves,
have the ability to do some of the exercises

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and programs in sport that they want to
participate in and feel good about themselves

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because that... there will
make the difference in their

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world. Shall I let you do that? Alright,

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that right there to me makes the world. We
have to have the determination to what to do,

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we have to want it. If you don\'t want it, then how are
you going to achieve something? That\'s what a goal is

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that you have to have to want to achieve that highest
goal, want to be up there and do what you will need to do

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in order to have the side
effect of lose weight,

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but we can\'t just stick to just exercise, you have to do it
a full thing too but you have to do it on a daily basis.

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You know, it’s a step thing, you know, its
patience, you just have to take it a day at a

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time, you know, and yeah.

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[music]