Dear Ani
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
In 1995, an aspiring artist and college sophomore, took a semester off to live in a cabin in Northern Maine. He sat by the edge of a lake and asked the universe to send him a “story worth telling”. Two months later, he was admitted to Bellevue Hospital, while searching for Ani DiFranco. Was this a vision quest? A mental health issue? Was this all an elaborate art project? For thirty years Keith Wasserman has made and delivered elaborate art mail packages - all in the hopes of befriending his muse. DEAR ANI explores what can happen when you present your truest self, and risk total failure. It is an intimate account of psychotic mania, personal mastery, and creative triumph.
Moviepie
"A fiercely joyful feel-good film."
Citation
Main credits
Levin, Micah (film director)
Levin, Micah (film producer)
Wasserman, Keith (on-screen participant)
Wasserman, Keith (screenwriter)
Wasserman, Keith (artist)
Other credits
Cinematography, Benjamin Eckstein; music, Jason Jordan.
Distributor subjects
Mental Health; Storytelling; Art; FriendshipKeywords
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- [Keith] Dear Ani, if you're
reading this, it's a miracle.
00:00:06.833 --> 00:00:09.376
But those happen all the time.
00:00:09.400 --> 00:00:10.309
(intense music)
00:00:10.333 --> 00:00:13.809
- [Speaker] Any memories,
impressions, feelings,
00:00:13.833 --> 00:00:19.376
thoughts about this
guy, Keith Wasserman.
00:00:19.400 --> 00:00:20.709
- Hi.
00:00:20.733 --> 00:00:21.343
I'm Keith.
00:00:21.367 --> 00:00:23.376
- [Jerry] I never, in all my
years working with artists
00:00:23.400 --> 00:00:24.843
have ever heard a
story like this.
00:00:24.867 --> 00:00:31.300
- [Keith] From theater in a
space to theater in the world.
00:00:33.033 --> 00:00:33.600
This is my-
00:00:34.267 --> 00:00:34.967
- [Director] Recording.
00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:35.933
- [Keith] True story.
00:00:37.133 --> 00:00:37.867
- [Audio] Is it that?
00:00:38.333 --> 00:00:38.900
Is it that?
00:00:39.500 --> 00:00:40.067
Is it that?
00:00:40.533 --> 00:00:41.300
♪ I hope you like it ♪
00:00:43.933 --> 00:00:44.533
(gentle music)
00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:46.433
- When I was a college student,
00:00:46.733 --> 00:00:47.833
my professor put a
book in my hands,
00:00:48.700 --> 00:00:49.967
and the book was called
"Letters to a Young Poet"
00:00:51.567 --> 00:00:52.300
by Rainer Maria Rilke.
00:00:53.533 --> 00:00:55.033
And in the book, he talks about
the need to be in isolation
00:00:57.100 --> 00:00:57.800
and get really still
00:00:57.933 --> 00:00:59.367
so that you can fully know
yourself and become an artist.
00:01:01.800 --> 00:01:04.776
And so I decided to take a
semester off from college,
00:01:04.800 --> 00:01:09.176
and move up to a cabin by
a lake in Northern Maine,
00:01:09.200 --> 00:01:14.309
and try to find my voice
and write my great novel.
00:01:14.333 --> 00:01:18.376
Of course, when I got
up there, totally froze.
00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:20.743
What story do I have to tell?
00:01:20.767 --> 00:01:21.543
And rather than writing,
00:01:21.567 --> 00:01:23.576
every day I would go to
the edge of the lake,
00:01:23.600 --> 00:01:25.443
and I would sit in this
folding lawn chair,
00:01:25.467 --> 00:01:27.376
and I would stare
out over the water,
00:01:27.400 --> 00:01:30.076
and I would say to the universe,
00:01:30.100 --> 00:01:34.776
"I believe in your
magic and your majesty.
00:01:34.800 --> 00:01:37.733
Just show me a sign.
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Send me a story worth telling."
00:01:41.667 --> 00:01:42.933
A few days after that, I
got a package in the mail
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from this person whom
00:01:47.767 --> 00:01:49.067
I really was no more than
an acquaintance with.
00:01:51.367 --> 00:01:52.700
And in the package was a
mix tape of Ani DiFranco,
00:01:56.367 --> 00:01:57.500
a name I had literally
never heard of.
00:01:59.833 --> 00:02:00.643
(light music)
00:02:00.667 --> 00:02:06.767
Suffice it to say, this tape
changed the course of my life.
00:02:07.500 --> 00:02:09.309
(dramatic music)
00:02:09.333 --> 00:02:10.243
- I'm Kurt Loder with MTV News,
00:02:10.267 --> 00:02:12.309
New York singer and
songwriter Ani DiFranco says
00:02:12.333 --> 00:02:14.776
record companies have
been nipping at her heels
00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:15.476
for years now,
00:02:15.500 --> 00:02:17.443
but she's still happy
right where she is
00:02:17.467 --> 00:02:18.943
on Righteous Babe Records,
00:02:18.967 --> 00:02:20.843
the little label she
started on her own
00:02:20.867 --> 00:02:22.043
when she was 18-years-old.
00:02:22.067 --> 00:02:24.076
Unencumbered by
producers and publicists,
00:02:24.100 --> 00:02:27.609
DiFranco gets to be her folk,
punky, bisexual self on record
00:02:27.633 --> 00:02:28.743
and to communicate
with her fans,
00:02:28.767 --> 00:02:31.676
of whom there are a growing
and devoted number, directly.
00:02:31.700 --> 00:02:33.576
- So I immediately
jump in the car,
00:02:33.600 --> 00:02:35.309
throw the tape in
the cassette player,
00:02:35.333 --> 00:02:39.609
and head off into the windy
roads of Northern Maine,
00:02:39.633 --> 00:02:42.276
beautiful fall
foliage all around.
00:02:42.300 --> 00:02:44.376
And I'm listening to the tape.
00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:48.400
(Keith imitating music)
00:02:49.500 --> 00:02:50.500
It was the song
"Asking Too Much."
00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:53.700
♪ I want somebody who
sees the pointlessness ♪
00:02:55.200 --> 00:02:56.333
♪ And still keeps
their purpose in mind ♪
00:02:58.200 --> 00:02:59.433
♪ I want somebody who
has a tortured soul ♪
00:03:02.233 --> 00:03:04.243
♪ Some of the time ♪
00:03:04.267 --> 00:03:07.909
♪ I want somebody who will
either put out for me ♪
00:03:07.933 --> 00:03:10.109
♪ Or put me outta my misery ♪
00:03:10.133 --> 00:03:13.076
♪ Or maybe just put it all
the words and make me go ♪
00:03:13.100 --> 00:03:16.076
♪ You know, I never
heard it put that way ♪
00:03:16.100 --> 00:03:20.709
♪ Make me go, what
did you just say ♪
00:03:20.733 --> 00:03:23.409
- And I heard that song,
00:03:23.433 --> 00:03:24.867
and I thought,
00:03:26.167 --> 00:03:29.867
okay, I can do that.
00:03:30.767 --> 00:03:33.643
And I wrote a 14=page
letter to Ani DiFranco
00:03:33.667 --> 00:03:35.909
about the nature of
cosmic coincidence,
00:03:35.933 --> 00:03:39.309
and suggested that
we become pen pals.
00:03:39.333 --> 00:03:42.709
Two months later, on the
day before I left Maine
00:03:42.733 --> 00:03:45.643
to return to New York City
and go back to my life,
00:03:45.667 --> 00:03:48.576
when I went to return the
PO Box key to the mail,
00:03:48.600 --> 00:03:53.543
to the post office, I got
my last piece of mail,
00:03:53.567 --> 00:03:54.600
a Green Seasons greeting
holiday postcard
00:03:55.767 --> 00:03:57.067
from Ani DiFranco with
five words written on it.
00:04:02.267 --> 00:04:04.676
"Stay the (beeps) away from me."
00:04:04.700 --> 00:04:07.967
(Keith laughing)
00:04:10.100 --> 00:04:11.143
And that's it.
00:04:11.167 --> 00:04:12.176
Let's just like let that linger.
00:04:12.200 --> 00:04:13.709
Oh my God, what did it say?
00:04:13.733 --> 00:04:15.309
What did it say, right?
00:04:15.333 --> 00:04:16.909
- [Director] Okay, well,
why don't you do a version
00:04:16.933 --> 00:04:18.643
where you actually say
what the letter said.
00:04:18.667 --> 00:04:21.009
- Well, the thing is
that what it said was,
00:04:21.033 --> 00:04:24.143
"Thanks for thinking,
the world is a lot."
00:04:24.167 --> 00:04:30.533
Which was a line from the letter
buried deep on page eight.
00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:36.409
So I knew she read it,
and it was game on.
00:04:36.433 --> 00:04:37.376
Two days after Christmas,
00:04:37.400 --> 00:04:40.376
I got on a Greyhound bus
headed for New York City.
00:04:40.400 --> 00:04:41.076
(light music)
00:04:41.100 --> 00:04:43.409
And New York City has
such an energy and a pace,
00:04:43.433 --> 00:04:46.509
and I had been sitting
still for so long
00:04:46.533 --> 00:04:51.743
that it was like energy just
started pouring out of me.
00:04:51.767 --> 00:04:56.509
At that point, I hadn't
slept in about two days.
00:04:56.533 --> 00:04:57.676
While I was living in Maine,
00:04:57.700 --> 00:05:01.409
I was reading a lot of books
about mysticism and shamanism,
00:05:01.433 --> 00:05:04.976
and the whole idea of
having a vision quest
00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:08.776
in which you return
from the wilderness
00:05:08.800 --> 00:05:15.109
with the magical elixir to
share with the community.
00:05:15.133 --> 00:05:19.276
And when that happens, the
community throws you a party
00:05:19.300 --> 00:05:20.676
to celebrate your return,
00:05:20.700 --> 00:05:23.976
to honor the fact that
the boy has become a man,
00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:25.943
that you've tackled your demons,
00:05:25.967 --> 00:05:28.709
and you've chased your bliss,
00:05:28.733 --> 00:05:31.843
and you have emerged successful.
00:05:31.867 --> 00:05:35.343
And as I began to experience
00:05:35.367 --> 00:05:40.109
this manic psychotic
episode as a vision quest,
00:05:40.133 --> 00:05:42.567
I was looking for the party.
00:05:43.633 --> 00:05:45.509
Where was I gonna end up?
00:05:45.533 --> 00:05:46.809
Who was gonna be there?
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Was Ani gonna be there?
00:05:47.900 --> 00:05:49.967
Were my parents invited?
00:05:50.267 --> 00:05:54.243
But I was looking for the
party everywhere I went.
00:05:54.267 --> 00:05:55.443
And everywhere I went,
00:05:55.467 --> 00:05:58.567
I felt like I was
getting closer to it.
00:05:58.667 --> 00:06:00.643
And with all of this
fervor and energy,
00:06:00.667 --> 00:06:04.276
I started walking up the
avenue looking for this party.
00:06:04.300 --> 00:06:07.276
I remember seeing
somebody with a guitar
00:06:07.300 --> 00:06:09.043
walking into an
apartment building.
00:06:09.067 --> 00:06:11.576
Ooh, well, that must
be where the party is.
00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:13.467
The next thing I know,
00:06:13.633 --> 00:06:17.976
the very nice doorman is
tapping me on the shoulder.
00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:21.676
Apparently I'm
scaring the people
00:06:21.700 --> 00:06:23.643
who live in the
apartment building,
00:06:23.667 --> 00:06:24.576
and he's been getting calls
00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:27.676
that there's a young man
crawling on his hands and knees,
00:06:27.700 --> 00:06:32.376
listening under the door of
people's apartments for music,
00:06:32.400 --> 00:06:34.543
all while laughing hysterically
00:06:34.567 --> 00:06:36.976
and singing songs to himself.
00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:39.709
So the police come
and say to me,
00:06:39.733 --> 00:06:40.976
"Do you think you
want to come with us?"
00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:43.476
It's like, "Listen, if you
guys want me to come with you,
00:06:43.500 --> 00:06:44.309
I'll come with you,
00:06:44.333 --> 00:06:46.609
but I don't know if I
should come with you.
00:06:46.633 --> 00:06:49.276
But if you tell me I
should, then I will."
00:06:49.300 --> 00:06:51.809
The officers put me in
the back of their cruiser,
00:06:51.833 --> 00:06:57.443
and I pass by the sign
Bellevue Hospital.
00:06:57.467 --> 00:07:01.743
What do you suppose is
the name of the street
00:07:01.767 --> 00:07:03.733
that I grew up on?
00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:05.176
Bellevue Road.
00:07:05.200 --> 00:07:08.609
So when I saw
Bellevue, I thought,
00:07:08.633 --> 00:07:11.643
oh my gosh, I'm going home.
00:07:11.667 --> 00:07:12.943
I jump out of the car
00:07:12.967 --> 00:07:16.433
and run straight into
the emergency room,
00:07:16.700 --> 00:07:21.833
where I would sign myself
in under a fake name.
00:07:22.200 --> 00:07:23.276
They put me in a room,
00:07:23.300 --> 00:07:27.109
and I remember getting
up onto the bed
00:07:27.133 --> 00:07:33.400
and slipping my hands
into the restraint cuffs.
00:07:35.100 --> 00:07:41.433
It's in that moment that I
realize, this is my story.
00:07:46.067 --> 00:07:49.809
Sort of five years until
my next manic episode,
00:07:49.833 --> 00:07:52.943
when the album To
The Teeth came out.
00:07:52.967 --> 00:07:55.476
It was about 96
hours since I slept,
00:07:55.500 --> 00:07:59.633
and I was listening to the
record for the 50th time,
00:07:59.867 --> 00:08:02.333
but this time there was a line.
00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:07.009
"And the angels were on hand
to stand in for everything."
00:08:07.033 --> 00:08:09.209
And I remembered that
there was this whole riff
00:08:09.233 --> 00:08:11.909
in the letter that I had
sent her five years ago
00:08:11.933 --> 00:08:13.543
about angels.
00:08:13.567 --> 00:08:17.276
And all of a sudden I
started to hear reference
00:08:17.300 --> 00:08:23.333
after reference in her
music to my letter.
00:08:23.433 --> 00:08:26.343
And I thought, holy (beeps).
00:08:26.367 --> 00:08:30.700
Has Ani DiFranco been
trying to write back?
00:08:31.500 --> 00:08:33.609
- He's a musician slash,
00:08:33.633 --> 00:08:36.176
as I soon found out,
Renaissance man.
00:08:36.200 --> 00:08:38.943
And this guy, not
only is he talent,
00:08:38.967 --> 00:08:41.543
but he is out there.
00:08:41.567 --> 00:08:42.176
- You dog.
00:08:42.200 --> 00:08:45.343
- [Jerry] He's so out
there that he's delusional.
00:08:45.367 --> 00:08:47.276
- I believed Ani
was writing to me
00:08:47.300 --> 00:08:48.709
through the lyrics of her songs,
00:08:48.733 --> 00:08:51.843
and I responded in kind
by sending her music
00:08:51.867 --> 00:08:54.043
and elaborate
packages of art mail.
00:08:54.067 --> 00:08:57.343
- [Jerry] It's not
normal to spend,
00:08:57.367 --> 00:09:02.209
you know, weeks and
weeks, hours and hours,
00:09:02.233 --> 00:09:06.776
creating a package of layered,
00:09:06.800 --> 00:09:12.933
interactive mixed media
CD's based on her songs.
00:09:14.933 --> 00:09:18.709
And, you know, I'm sitting
there, I'm thinking,
00:09:18.733 --> 00:09:20.509
I've never experienced
anybody like this.
00:09:20.533 --> 00:09:26.776
This guy's passion went
beyond anybody I've ever met
00:09:26.800 --> 00:09:32.443
in terms of trying to reach
out to this famous musician
00:09:32.467 --> 00:09:38.543
in a way that was completely
from the heart, mind, soul,
00:09:38.567 --> 00:09:41.443
that became like his muse.
00:09:41.467 --> 00:09:44.776
And he had this belief
that she was talking
00:09:44.800 --> 00:09:51.167
and writing lyrics to him
based on his amazing gifts.
00:09:53.767 --> 00:09:56.009
Staying up for days at a time,
00:09:56.033 --> 00:10:00.076
kind of cathartic
creativity that
00:10:00.100 --> 00:10:03.809
his brain would
not let him relax.
00:10:03.833 --> 00:10:07.400
What was the end game of this?
00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:11.343
- In 2010, as I was
drawing out in the hospital
00:10:11.367 --> 00:10:14.343
from my recent manic
psychotic episode,
00:10:14.367 --> 00:10:15.509
whether it's a good idea or not,
00:10:15.533 --> 00:10:18.809
I was listening to a
lot of Ani DiFranco.
00:10:18.833 --> 00:10:19.509
(Keith laughs)
00:10:19.533 --> 00:10:21.709
And one of her lyrics
caught my attention,
00:10:21.733 --> 00:10:25.676
the one that goes, "People
used to make records,
00:10:25.700 --> 00:10:27.276
as in a record of an event,
00:10:27.300 --> 00:10:30.843
the event of people
making music in a room."
00:10:30.867 --> 00:10:35.376
And I thought that would
be a cool thing to do.
00:10:35.400 --> 00:10:36.633
Up to this point,
she's only heard songs
00:10:38.100 --> 00:10:38.933
with my voice and a guitar,
00:10:40.167 --> 00:10:41.000
and she's never really seen me.
00:10:41.633 --> 00:10:42.767
What if I were to
put a band together
00:10:43.667 --> 00:10:45.000
and record a film in one
take to make music your room?
00:10:51.400 --> 00:10:52.267
♪ I wanna get inside your head ♪
00:10:55.500 --> 00:10:56.367
♪ To understand your heart ♪
00:10:59.633 --> 00:11:03.643
♪ I wanna make you
pick your skin ♪
00:11:03.667 --> 00:11:07.009
♪ And tear your flesh apart ♪
00:11:07.033 --> 00:11:13.276
- He has this magnetic pull
through his personality.
00:11:13.300 --> 00:11:14.809
- Keith has this unique ability
00:11:14.833 --> 00:11:16.009
to get you to work on a project
00:11:16.033 --> 00:11:19.509
when you really don't even know
the purpose of the project.
00:11:19.533 --> 00:11:20.376
♪ Down here in the- ♪
00:11:20.400 --> 00:11:21.576
- I think with the
see through film,
00:11:21.600 --> 00:11:25.876
it wasn't until I saw the
box that I really understood
00:11:25.900 --> 00:11:26.976
what the intention was.
00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:29.543
- It was the size
of a cigar box,
00:11:29.567 --> 00:11:32.176
but designed to
look like a novel.
00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:35.009
There was a lock on the box,
00:11:35.033 --> 00:11:39.876
and the key to the lock
was hidden in a sleeve
00:11:39.900 --> 00:11:41.067
that you had to discover
by following a twine
00:11:44.667 --> 00:11:45.367
that was wrapped around.
00:11:45.667 --> 00:11:46.933
When you finally get there
and you open up the box,
00:11:50.300 --> 00:11:51.033
it has a false bottom.
00:11:52.400 --> 00:11:53.667
You actually have to lift
up the bottom of the box
00:11:57.233 --> 00:11:58.033
to discover what's inside.
00:11:58.733 --> 00:11:59.567
And when you do, it's a DVD.
00:12:02.333 --> 00:12:03.243
- I remember looking at that box
00:12:03.267 --> 00:12:06.843
and realizing that
this was all for Ani.
00:12:06.867 --> 00:12:09.209
This was all for
an audience of one.
00:12:09.233 --> 00:12:11.543
I was never gonna get
to see her reaction.
00:12:11.567 --> 00:12:16.300
I was never gonna even know
if she ever watched it.
00:12:16.567 --> 00:12:18.400
And Keith didn't care.
00:12:18.767 --> 00:12:20.233
It didn't matter.
00:12:21.733 --> 00:12:24.343
- In 2012, Ani DiFranco
was coming to Boston
00:12:24.367 --> 00:12:27.009
to play a show at
the Orpheum Theater.
00:12:27.033 --> 00:12:29.209
(bubbly music)
00:12:29.233 --> 00:12:33.976
Because of some
random lyric of hers,
00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:37.076
I thought that the
appropriate time to show up
00:12:37.100 --> 00:12:39.943
would be five o'clock
in the morning.
00:12:39.967 --> 00:12:43.143
Of course, the moment
you approach the tour bus
00:12:43.167 --> 00:12:47.176
at five o'clock in the mornings
idling behind the theater,
00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:48.500
you think to yourself,
what the am I doing here?
00:12:51.233 --> 00:12:52.300
(Keith laughs)
This is ridiculous.
00:12:53.067 --> 00:12:53.900
What am I hoping to accomplish?
00:12:55.133 --> 00:12:56.300
This is a ridiculousness
based on a fiction,
00:12:57.733 --> 00:12:59.033
which is based on a
delusion rooted in fantasy.
00:13:00.900 --> 00:13:03.367
Just leave, go home.
00:13:03.900 --> 00:13:06.443
So at 12:31, I return
to the theater.
00:13:06.467 --> 00:13:08.976
And at this point now
there's ropes set up,
00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:12.443
and I get over to where
everybody else is standing.
00:13:12.467 --> 00:13:16.543
And sure enough, this
woman who I recognize
00:13:16.567 --> 00:13:20.143
as the mistress of
merchandising, Heidi.
00:13:20.167 --> 00:13:24.043
She walks over to me and
she says, "Are you Keith?"
00:13:24.067 --> 00:13:25.876
And I said, "Yeah."
00:13:25.900 --> 00:13:27.743
And she said, "Oh, good, listen,
00:13:27.767 --> 00:13:28.943
Ani really wants to meet you,
00:13:28.967 --> 00:13:31.576
but the thing is,
she's lost her voice."
00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:33.076
And I say, "Oh, well, oh my God.
00:13:33.100 --> 00:13:37.643
I mean, come on, don't
make any trouble over me.
00:13:37.667 --> 00:13:40.576
You know, I don't
wanna cause it."
00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:41.509
"No, no, no, no, no," she says.
00:13:41.533 --> 00:13:44.133
"Just wait here,
just wait here."
00:13:44.633 --> 00:13:45.843
I said, "Okay."
00:13:45.867 --> 00:13:46.976
I mean, now I know.
00:13:47.000 --> 00:13:49.509
Now I know that Ani
wants to meet me,
00:13:49.533 --> 00:13:50.676
and I'm standing
there and I'm waiting.
00:13:50.700 --> 00:13:52.609
And Heidi comes back
over and she says,
00:13:52.633 --> 00:13:54.476
"Okay, come on, come on."
00:13:54.500 --> 00:13:55.333
And I'm walking towards the bus
00:13:57.267 --> 00:13:58.133
and along the side of the bus,
00:13:58.433 --> 00:14:00.709
and the door opens,
and Ani comes out.
00:14:00.733 --> 00:14:02.009
She gives me a little wave.
00:14:02.033 --> 00:14:04.076
And we approach, and we
approach, and we approach.
00:14:04.100 --> 00:14:07.943
And before I know it,
she's just hugging me,
00:14:07.967 --> 00:14:08.843
and I'm just hugging her.
00:14:08.867 --> 00:14:11.609
And it's just so, you
know, (Keith snaps)
00:14:11.633 --> 00:14:14.433
deep, and cool, and yeah.
00:14:14.767 --> 00:14:17.767
And we back away,
00:14:17.967 --> 00:14:20.933
and she pulls that little note.
00:14:21.733 --> 00:14:22.876
And I read the note.
00:14:22.900 --> 00:14:25.209
And the thing is that I
didn't wanna stand there
00:14:25.233 --> 00:14:26.243
like staring at the note.
00:14:26.267 --> 00:14:28.009
I mean, I'm scanning
it, and I'm looking,
00:14:28.033 --> 00:14:30.576
and I'm scanning it, and
I get the gist of it.
00:14:30.600 --> 00:14:33.743
And now thinking
about what to do next.
00:14:33.767 --> 00:14:36.243
I feel like the
obvious thing to do,
00:14:36.267 --> 00:14:38.809
you know, for the
sake of theater
00:14:38.833 --> 00:14:41.443
is to crumble up
the note and eat it.
00:14:41.467 --> 00:14:43.609
And no words were spoken.
00:14:43.633 --> 00:14:45.176
And then the cab pulled up,
00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:48.500
and she got in and drove off.
00:14:50.033 --> 00:14:50.709
(upbeat music)
00:14:50.733 --> 00:14:53.943
I was sort of thinking
about flow state
00:14:53.967 --> 00:14:55.809
as another way to
sort of say mastery.
00:14:55.833 --> 00:14:58.909
Flow state, jazz musicians
are just in the flow state.
00:14:58.933 --> 00:15:00.909
And I was thinking about with
jazz musicians, you know,
00:15:00.933 --> 00:15:03.109
there is the lexicon,
there's the language,
00:15:03.133 --> 00:15:05.243
there's the vocabulary,
there's the structure,
00:15:05.267 --> 00:15:08.076
and you can like
free out within that.
00:15:08.100 --> 00:15:11.309
And then I was thinking
about mania, or my mania,
00:15:11.333 --> 00:15:16.409
where it's almost
like a flow state.
00:15:16.433 --> 00:15:17.109
- [Glen] Yeah.
00:15:17.133 --> 00:15:18.909
- [Keith] And over the 20 years-
00:15:18.933 --> 00:15:19.576
- [Glen] Right.
00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:22.409
- I have built a lexicon,
a vocabulary, a symbology,
00:15:22.433 --> 00:15:23.743
a catalog of imagery.
00:15:23.767 --> 00:15:25.109
It is my connection.
00:15:25.133 --> 00:15:29.176
It is my gateway
drug into one love,
00:15:29.200 --> 00:15:33.509
into universal consciousness,
into the God spark within me,
00:15:33.533 --> 00:15:37.043
into the the sefirot to
the Kabbalah tree of life
00:15:37.067 --> 00:15:39.300
working the energy up.
00:15:39.433 --> 00:15:43.409
There's this thing
called the deep wink.
00:15:43.433 --> 00:15:49.509
And I have always
felt that Ani and I
00:15:49.533 --> 00:15:52.276
connected inside this deep wink,
00:15:52.300 --> 00:15:53.443
and it was all unspoken,
00:15:53.467 --> 00:15:59.843
and it was all referential,
second level subtextual stuff.
00:15:59.867 --> 00:16:04.576
But for me, I have
always wanted to say,
00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:05.376
let's talk about it.
00:16:05.400 --> 00:16:08.176
Let's bring that subtextual,
meta referential stuff
00:16:08.200 --> 00:16:12.509
up to the surface, and chop
it up, and cut it around,
00:16:12.533 --> 00:16:13.409
and make jokes, and laugh,
00:16:13.433 --> 00:16:16.176
and say, "Oh God, you
did that, and I did that.
00:16:16.200 --> 00:16:17.076
Then ha and ha!"
00:16:17.100 --> 00:16:21.343
But that's only
works if it's true,
00:16:21.367 --> 00:16:24.509
and I have no idea
whether it's true.
00:16:24.533 --> 00:16:29.076
One day after having
met her on the street,
00:16:29.100 --> 00:16:30.243
she was back in Boston.
00:16:30.267 --> 00:16:31.976
So it was a year or two later.
00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:33.309
And as I approached
the stage door,
00:16:33.333 --> 00:16:37.043
wouldn't you know, she and
a friend were returning
00:16:37.067 --> 00:16:39.209
to the stage door,
maybe from lunch.
00:16:39.233 --> 00:16:43.376
And there we were coincidentally
00:16:43.400 --> 00:16:47.143
arriving at the stage
door at the same moment.
00:16:47.167 --> 00:16:51.167
And I mean, I tried to hold
in my like (Keith gasps).
00:16:52.467 --> 00:16:56.576
Because as soon as
she saw me see her,
00:16:56.600 --> 00:17:01.267
I was like, uh-oh, I don't
think she wants to see me.
00:17:01.733 --> 00:17:07.676
And then she said
to me, "Why me?
00:17:07.700 --> 00:17:12.267
Why am I the benefactor of
all this love and art making?"
00:17:14.933 --> 00:17:19.033
And I sort of didn't
know what to say
00:17:19.500 --> 00:17:22.743
because don't you know?
00:17:22.767 --> 00:17:25.376
Didn't you, haven't
we, isn't it?
00:17:25.400 --> 00:17:26.776
I thought that.
00:17:26.800 --> 00:17:32.109
It's like that line from the
Matrix where Morpheus says,
00:17:32.133 --> 00:17:34.043
"I had a dream.
00:17:34.067 --> 00:17:37.476
That dream has left me now."
(Keith laughs)
00:17:37.500 --> 00:17:40.343
I've come to understand
that moment differently
00:17:40.367 --> 00:17:41.276
through the years,
00:17:41.300 --> 00:17:43.376
but it was like
00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:46.076
having the wind taken
out of you in a moment.
00:17:46.100 --> 00:17:50.543
And I realized that I wasn't
gonna be invited backstage.
00:17:50.567 --> 00:17:52.609
This wasn't the party.
00:17:52.633 --> 00:17:54.700
This was actually like,
00:17:55.100 --> 00:17:58.909
I don't understand
why you're doing this.
00:17:58.933 --> 00:18:00.809
So I fumbled through
something like,
00:18:00.833 --> 00:18:03.009
"Well, I can't tell
you now, you know,
00:18:03.033 --> 00:18:05.543
in 30 seconds standing
outside the stage door.
00:18:05.567 --> 00:18:08.243
But you know, giving
is for the giver,
00:18:08.267 --> 00:18:11.376
and the receiver is just extra."
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:14.309
She's like, "Ah,
okay, all right.
00:18:14.333 --> 00:18:18.209
Well, you know, enjoy the show."
00:18:18.233 --> 00:18:19.733
And she was gone.
00:18:20.467 --> 00:18:22.333
And I was crushed
00:18:23.733 --> 00:18:25.200
until I wasn't.
00:18:26.700 --> 00:18:27.576
(gentle music)
00:18:27.600 --> 00:18:31.376
In 2015, I got an email
(email dings) saying,
00:18:31.400 --> 00:18:35.009
"Hey, this is Ani DiFranco.
00:18:35.033 --> 00:18:38.509
Thanks for all the art you've
sent me over the years.
00:18:38.533 --> 00:18:40.843
I'm gonna be in your
neck of the woods.
00:18:40.867 --> 00:18:45.833
Would you like to come
after a show and hang out?"
00:18:46.767 --> 00:18:52.909
Words that I had longed
to hear for 20 years.
00:18:52.933 --> 00:18:54.443
- At the time that he, you know,
00:18:54.467 --> 00:18:56.843
had the whole trip
about Ani DiFranco,
00:18:56.867 --> 00:18:59.076
I was like, this, you know,
00:18:59.100 --> 00:19:01.443
this guy is like
in a dream world.
00:19:01.467 --> 00:19:02.743
Like this is not gonna happen.
00:19:02.767 --> 00:19:03.909
This is not happening.
00:19:03.933 --> 00:19:04.876
This is not true.
00:19:04.900 --> 00:19:07.476
You're imagining things.
00:19:07.500 --> 00:19:11.543
And I mean, I've kinda held
that thought belief up until
00:19:11.567 --> 00:19:14.509
when they started to actually
communicate with one another,
00:19:14.533 --> 00:19:17.709
became friends where I
was like, holy (beeps).
00:19:17.733 --> 00:19:19.643
- As soon as that happened,
00:19:19.667 --> 00:19:25.500
my entire attitude
changed about Keith.
00:19:25.600 --> 00:19:27.509
I admired Keith all of a sudden.
00:19:27.533 --> 00:19:31.843
He kind of, he brought
me to a different level
00:19:31.867 --> 00:19:33.967
of possibilities.
00:19:34.167 --> 00:19:37.809
- Well, it's been over 20 years,
00:19:37.833 --> 00:19:41.309
but in about two weeks,
Ani DiFranco is coming over
00:19:41.333 --> 00:19:44.509
to participate in this
film, to hang out,
00:19:44.533 --> 00:19:48.343
to share her experience
of what this all was.
00:19:48.367 --> 00:19:51.143
We're gonna have the party
00:19:51.167 --> 00:19:53.900
that I've always
been hoping for.
00:19:54.767 --> 00:19:58.067
(guitar playing)
00:19:58.433 --> 00:20:00.509
♪ I'll be your biggest fan ♪
00:20:00.533 --> 00:20:02.276
♪ I'll be your fool ♪
00:20:02.300 --> 00:20:04.443
♪ I'll be your exception ♪
00:20:04.467 --> 00:20:07.976
♪ Do whatever the rules. ♪
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:09.367
- For many years
00:20:10.233 --> 00:20:16.400
I was intimidated by
the intensity of his,
00:20:18.867 --> 00:20:22.543
you know, love that he
was pouring back at me
00:20:22.567 --> 00:20:23.276
from the ether.
00:20:23.300 --> 00:20:27.309
I don't think I have nearly
the memories that he does.
00:20:27.333 --> 00:20:30.076
- If it's okay with you,
I actually wanted to start
00:20:30.100 --> 00:20:32.576
by asking you a broad question.
00:20:32.600 --> 00:20:33.200
- [Ani] Yeah.
00:20:33.333 --> 00:20:34.467
- What's your relationship
like with fans?
00:20:35.133 --> 00:20:36.400
- Right from the beginning
I had super fans, right?
00:20:38.267 --> 00:20:39.767
You know, I guess when I just
had very few listeners at all.
00:20:43.567 --> 00:20:44.667
In the beginning,
I was like, whoa,
00:20:45.467 --> 00:20:46.300
why is this happening to me?
00:20:47.967 --> 00:20:48.767
Why is this coming at me?
00:20:48.900 --> 00:20:49.933
And then I realized,
oh, (Ani laughs)
00:20:50.733 --> 00:20:51.567
because I'm doing that too,
00:20:53.833 --> 00:20:54.933
coming very intensely
at the world.
00:20:56.467 --> 00:20:57.733
There was a time in the
late 90s and early aughts
00:21:02.633 --> 00:21:03.509
that it was too much.
00:21:03.533 --> 00:21:07.976
It was just like, I was a symbol
that represented something,
00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:10.276
and they were there, you know,
00:21:10.300 --> 00:21:13.643
with no awareness
of my humanity or,
00:21:13.667 --> 00:21:16.543
and no real, you know,
it was like souvenir.
00:21:16.567 --> 00:21:22.943
They wanted a thing, or a thing,
or a thing, or more things.
00:21:22.967 --> 00:21:26.343
I sort of felt just
constantly eviscerated,
00:21:26.367 --> 00:21:29.743
and drained, and disregarded.
00:21:29.767 --> 00:21:33.909
And you know, of course there's
people who do give back,
00:21:33.933 --> 00:21:37.109
not just want, and
want, and want more.
00:21:37.133 --> 00:21:38.143
- Do you have a memory
00:21:38.167 --> 00:21:41.076
of the first time Keith
was on your radar?
00:21:41.100 --> 00:21:42.267
- I believe that his
artwork hit my radar
00:21:46.467 --> 00:21:47.867
at some point early on
'cause it's so exceptional,
00:21:49.567 --> 00:21:50.700
you know, that the
beauty of his offerings.
00:21:54.600 --> 00:21:56.033
Again, though, like how many
hours went into constructing
00:21:59.700 --> 00:22:00.743
this very detailed?
00:22:00.767 --> 00:22:03.409
And the experience,
and you open it,
00:22:03.433 --> 00:22:04.209
and the thing comes out,
00:22:04.233 --> 00:22:06.776
and then that thing like
grows into a thing, and-
00:22:06.800 --> 00:22:09.109
- I happen to have
one right here.
00:22:09.133 --> 00:22:10.343
(Ani laughs)
- Yeah.
00:22:10.367 --> 00:22:11.043
(gentle music)
00:22:11.067 --> 00:22:15.176
You know, I think when
these types of things,
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:17.409
beautiful works of art,
00:22:17.433 --> 00:22:20.376
it was like, oh, this
is that same person
00:22:20.400 --> 00:22:22.309
as that other thing from.
00:22:22.333 --> 00:22:26.776
And then he, I don't know
if he had just intuited
00:22:26.800 --> 00:22:30.343
that sending to the
office is not the quick.
00:22:30.367 --> 00:22:32.843
So things would come to venues,
00:22:32.867 --> 00:22:34.576
and they would arrive
the day before.
00:22:34.600 --> 00:22:37.309
Like he'd know, and
they would care of.
00:22:37.333 --> 00:22:40.743
And so I'd walk into
a dressing room,
00:22:40.767 --> 00:22:43.176
and there would be a thing.
00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:45.209
It's like, oh, there's
that guy again.
00:22:45.233 --> 00:22:47.643
My friend Heidi, who is
my mistress of merch,
00:22:47.667 --> 00:22:49.133
she became aware of Keith and
who this artist actually is,
00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:55.033
and when they're turning up.
00:22:55.167 --> 00:22:56.467
And swear, I think my first
memory of meeting Keith,
00:22:59.667 --> 00:23:02.376
I was sick as a dog,
00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:04.176
but I think it was
Heidi who said,
00:23:04.200 --> 00:23:06.609
"You know, Keith is
outside the bus."
00:23:06.633 --> 00:23:07.843
And I was like, (beeps)
00:23:07.867 --> 00:23:11.743
I'm gonna go say hi
to this crazy person.
00:23:11.767 --> 00:23:15.143
And, but I couldn't say
hi 'cause I couldn't talk.
00:23:15.167 --> 00:23:17.033
I couldn't say anything.
00:23:17.467 --> 00:23:19.009
I went out and I wrote a note.
00:23:19.033 --> 00:23:21.809
I can't talk and I can't
do the show tonight.
00:23:21.833 --> 00:23:25.009
Thank you, you
know, I don't know,
00:23:25.033 --> 00:23:26.376
for all the gifts.
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:31.243
And then he took it, and he
crumbled it up, and he ate it.
00:23:31.267 --> 00:23:33.176
(Ani laughs)
The note.
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:35.609
Ever memorable is he.
00:23:35.633 --> 00:23:42.000
I would say the messages,
I heard them along the way,
00:23:43.233 --> 00:23:49.476
and they told me that he
was really hearing my music.
00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:52.109
He would say little
messages back
00:23:52.133 --> 00:23:55.009
to the little messages
I send out in songs.
00:23:55.033 --> 00:23:55.933
I felt seen, you
know, and heard.
00:23:58.633 --> 00:24:00.476
He's right, you know?
00:24:00.500 --> 00:24:01.343
He's right.
00:24:01.367 --> 00:24:03.476
I was talking to him.
00:24:03.500 --> 00:24:08.309
And it's not true in the
context that he was devising,
00:24:08.333 --> 00:24:10.809
but it's true, very
true in another way,
00:24:10.833 --> 00:24:14.676
like I am very much
talking right to anyone
00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:15.509
who chooses to listen
00:24:15.533 --> 00:24:20.176
or has the ears to
hear what I'm saying.
00:24:20.200 --> 00:24:24.343
And there is a relationship
there that exists in the ether,
00:24:24.367 --> 00:24:25.643
and it is intimate.
00:24:25.667 --> 00:24:28.909
You know, I agree
with all of that.
00:24:28.933 --> 00:24:33.409
On some level, maybe we
are meeting in our dreams.
00:24:33.433 --> 00:24:35.443
Maybe we do know each other.
00:24:35.467 --> 00:24:38.909
Maybe we are having
a conversation.
00:24:38.933 --> 00:24:40.009
On some level, I believe,
00:24:40.033 --> 00:24:42.876
yes, that's what I'm
doing with my art.
00:24:42.900 --> 00:24:45.843
That doesn't mean you should
turn up in my bedroom.
00:24:45.867 --> 00:24:50.109
I had a bipolar, I mean
maybe schizophrenic,
00:24:50.133 --> 00:24:53.743
or whatever person
turn up in my bedroom.
00:24:53.767 --> 00:24:55.043
- A stranger.
- A stranger.
00:24:55.067 --> 00:24:57.009
- Did you ever feel
threatened by Keith?
00:24:57.033 --> 00:25:01.176
- I remember my Heidi had
tipped me that he was coming.
00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:07.276
So I put this poem
Parameters that I wrote
00:25:07.300 --> 00:25:12.300
about that experience of
having a fan wait for me,
00:25:12.900 --> 00:25:14.376
and break into my house,
00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:17.276
and wait for me to
come home alone,
00:25:17.300 --> 00:25:21.509
and be upstairs in my
bedroom in the dark
00:25:21.533 --> 00:25:26.309
between me and the door for
a perilous amount of time.
00:25:26.333 --> 00:25:29.467
A dude, you know, who
00:25:30.500 --> 00:25:35.176
knew very clearly that we had
been speaking through my songs
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:37.367
and that I had called him.
00:25:38.467 --> 00:25:40.109
I put that poem on the set list,
00:25:40.133 --> 00:25:43.109
and I just remember
delivering the poem to Keith.
00:25:43.133 --> 00:25:48.009
That was actually me speaking
directly to Keith Wasserman
00:25:48.033 --> 00:25:54.343
from stage saying, this is
why I don't write you back.
00:25:54.367 --> 00:26:00.176
I feel the expectation
is building,
00:26:00.200 --> 00:26:03.533
and I need you to understand.
00:26:04.367 --> 00:26:07.367
Little poem called Parameters.
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:09.109
33 years go by,
00:26:09.133 --> 00:26:10.276
and not once do you come home
00:26:10.300 --> 00:26:12.409
to find a man sitting
in your bedroom,
00:26:12.433 --> 00:26:16.276
that is a man you don't
know who came a long way
00:26:16.300 --> 00:26:19.776
to deliver one very
specific message.
00:26:19.800 --> 00:26:22.643
Lock your back door, you idiot.
00:26:22.667 --> 00:26:25.976
However invincible you
imagine yourself to be-
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:29.476
I do remember when his
packages started to include
00:26:29.500 --> 00:26:32.709
the word or images of a
wife and then daughter.
00:26:32.733 --> 00:26:34.243
And that, (Ani exhales)
00:26:34.267 --> 00:26:36.076
you know, I just felt, okay.
00:26:36.100 --> 00:26:39.476
I think that was when I
considered opening the door.
00:26:39.500 --> 00:26:40.476
And then I did.
00:26:40.500 --> 00:26:43.376
♪ You gotta meet
my little girl ♪
00:26:43.400 --> 00:26:45.509
♪ She's really just so sweet ♪
00:26:45.533 --> 00:26:50.609
♪ Love the pitter-patter of
her precious little feet ♪
00:26:50.633 --> 00:26:54.976
- Yeah, so finally we met,
and that was fantastic.
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:57.376
We had a little visit
after a show one night
00:26:57.400 --> 00:27:01.176
when I finally just put
down the drawbridge.
00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:01.843
(Ani laughs)
00:27:01.867 --> 00:27:03.609
And he crossed over
and we hung out.
00:27:03.633 --> 00:27:06.643
And of course he's completely
captivating and charming.
00:27:06.667 --> 00:27:11.343
And he bestowed his
magic upon my kids.
00:27:11.367 --> 00:27:12.576
You know, we went and visited,
00:27:12.600 --> 00:27:14.609
and he had constructed
this treasure hunt
00:27:14.633 --> 00:27:17.343
on the beautiful property
that they were living on.
00:27:17.367 --> 00:27:21.176
And I don't know if
my kids appreciated it
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:22.909
nearly as much as me,
00:27:22.933 --> 00:27:26.009
but you know, that's
the kind of magic
00:27:26.033 --> 00:27:28.943
that doesn't exist in everyone
00:27:28.967 --> 00:27:31.467
and doesn't come
along every day.
00:27:32.267 --> 00:27:35.309
(light music)
00:27:35.333 --> 00:27:38.809
- When Ani DiFranco
first emailed me,
00:27:38.833 --> 00:27:39.609
she said something like,
00:27:39.633 --> 00:27:41.443
"You've given me so
much over the years.
00:27:41.467 --> 00:27:44.143
Is there anything that I
can give you in return?"
00:27:44.167 --> 00:27:48.043
And I said, "Really, the
only thing I want is time
00:27:48.067 --> 00:27:50.743
to tell you this epic
story that I have,
00:27:50.767 --> 00:27:54.376
which would explain and
maybe help you make sense of
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:59.576
why I've been sending you
this art for 20 years."
00:27:59.600 --> 00:28:03.376
Of course, it was the
story of my manic episodes,
00:28:03.400 --> 00:28:07.433
but we never really
found that time.
00:28:08.367 --> 00:28:13.709
And several years later, I
had another manic episode,
00:28:13.733 --> 00:28:15.509
and during that episode,
00:28:15.533 --> 00:28:17.709
I thought that Ani was
trying to reach out to me.
00:28:17.733 --> 00:28:19.043
I thought she was
trying to call me.
00:28:19.067 --> 00:28:23.009
And so I decided I'd
call her instead.
00:28:23.033 --> 00:28:24.543
I mean, I have her number.
00:28:24.567 --> 00:28:26.433
We've been on the phone.
00:28:26.633 --> 00:28:29.909
Except it was three
o'clock in the morning.
00:28:29.933 --> 00:28:35.776
And the next day my wife got
a voicemail from Ani DiFranco.
00:28:35.800 --> 00:28:38.509
- Hey Heidi, it's Ani calling.
00:28:38.533 --> 00:28:39.343
Um, hi.
00:28:39.367 --> 00:28:41.809
So last night at like
three in the morning,
00:28:41.833 --> 00:28:47.943
I get a few texts in
series from Keith saying
00:28:47.967 --> 00:28:49.309
something or other
and then call me.
00:28:49.333 --> 00:28:51.843
I'm not sure what's happening,
00:28:51.867 --> 00:28:56.476
but if there's anything I
can do to help, let me know.
00:28:56.500 --> 00:28:57.643
Yeah, no, I just felt empathy
00:28:57.667 --> 00:29:02.076
because this is my friend
now who is in trouble.
00:29:02.100 --> 00:29:06.343
If I didn't have like a lot
of experience with mania,
00:29:06.367 --> 00:29:11.543
maybe I would've gotten
more freaked out.
00:29:11.567 --> 00:29:13.600
But for me it's like, ah,
00:29:15.167 --> 00:29:19.467
he needs to be
tied to the earth.
00:29:19.633 --> 00:29:21.509
Those are my favorite
people often,
00:29:21.533 --> 00:29:25.743
you know, people who
create their own worlds.
00:29:25.767 --> 00:29:28.009
Those are most artists.
00:29:28.033 --> 00:29:30.943
I feel like I can
relate very much.
00:29:30.967 --> 00:29:37.309
I feel way more than I want
to feel most of the time.
00:29:37.333 --> 00:29:38.776
And there's a price.
00:29:38.800 --> 00:29:41.276
You know, it's a great gift.
00:29:41.300 --> 00:29:43.776
You can put beauty and
magic in the world,
00:29:43.800 --> 00:29:50.167
and you can amplify being
alive for people around you.
00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:53.476
And you can set people free,
00:29:53.500 --> 00:29:57.343
and you pay a price, you know?
00:29:57.367 --> 00:29:58.576
So I understand.
00:29:58.600 --> 00:30:03.633
It's like, yes, if anything,
I just felt empathy.
00:30:05.300 --> 00:30:06.143
Empathy, not sympathy.
00:30:06.167 --> 00:30:11.109
I felt empathy for the
price that you have to pay
00:30:11.133 --> 00:30:13.033
when you're that guy.
00:30:19.233 --> 00:30:20.376
(gentle music)
00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:23.543
- I thought I would bring
my stuff and stuffs,
00:30:23.567 --> 00:30:27.667
and we could collage,
and we could paint.
00:30:31.300 --> 00:30:34.676
There was this piece where
00:30:34.700 --> 00:30:36.133
somebody might see something
that I made before I sent it
00:30:38.933 --> 00:30:40.400
and would wanna know, like,
"Oh, have you ever heard back?
00:30:42.767 --> 00:30:43.500
Have you ever da, da?"
00:30:43.633 --> 00:30:44.467
I'm like, "No, it's, you know."
00:30:45.233 --> 00:30:45.933
"Well, how can you?"
00:30:46.067 --> 00:30:47.267
It's like it's really
more about the work.
00:30:50.867 --> 00:30:51.433
And personally,
00:30:51.633 --> 00:30:52.833
I feel like each album
that I made got better.
00:30:55.933 --> 00:30:57.033
Each artwork that
I made got better,
00:30:58.200 --> 00:31:00.876
more interesting, more fun.
00:31:00.900 --> 00:31:07.433
And if I was ever going
to actually excite
you, impress you,
00:31:07.767 --> 00:31:12.076
and you know, tickle your
fancy, pique your interest,
00:31:12.100 --> 00:31:13.709
it was gonna be
through the work.
00:31:13.733 --> 00:31:15.809
That was sort of my feeling.
00:31:15.833 --> 00:31:20.243
And the decade or more
of like, oh, not yet.
00:31:20.267 --> 00:31:21.643
I haven't heard yet.
00:31:21.667 --> 00:31:22.776
I haven't heard back yet.
00:31:22.800 --> 00:31:23.676
- Haven't heard back yet.
00:31:23.700 --> 00:31:25.443
- Was like, okay, I
gotta keep working.
00:31:25.467 --> 00:31:26.743
- [Ani] Not stopping.
00:31:26.767 --> 00:31:28.043
- I gotta keep working.
- Love it.
00:31:28.067 --> 00:31:28.676
I love it.
00:31:28.700 --> 00:31:29.976
That's so freaking cool.
- Gotta keep working.
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:31.276
Right, it's getting better.
00:31:31.300 --> 00:31:33.343
And you know, like
in my own brain,
00:31:33.367 --> 00:31:34.576
I would hear encouragement.
00:31:34.600 --> 00:31:40.909
I would hear, I dig it, I
wanna, I can't, you know?
00:31:40.933 --> 00:31:41.833
- I know she loved that one.
00:31:42.300 --> 00:31:42.733
- Yeah.
00:31:42.867 --> 00:31:44.167
- God, it's kind of blowing
my mind all over again.
00:31:47.100 --> 00:31:47.567
- Yay.
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:48.867
- All the lengths you went to.
00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:51.900
- That was the idea.
00:31:52.033 --> 00:31:53.433
You know, I was like, how
do you blow someone's mind?
00:31:54.433 --> 00:31:55.633
I wanna figure out how
to blow someone's mind.
00:31:57.033 --> 00:31:57.733
- No, you did, you did.
00:31:57.867 --> 00:31:59.343
You succeeded.
- Awesome.
00:31:59.367 --> 00:32:02.543
- I met a lot of people
who have big dreams
00:32:02.567 --> 00:32:05.209
but don't know
how to reach them.
00:32:05.233 --> 00:32:09.209
Keith, he knows how
to reach his dreams.
00:32:09.233 --> 00:32:14.143
- His agendas were not
about the art world.
00:32:14.167 --> 00:32:17.009
Yes, he wanted to be
successful as an artist,
00:32:17.033 --> 00:32:19.833
but his agenda was about
00:32:21.033 --> 00:32:27.343
communicating with Ani as
an equal and as a friend.
00:32:27.367 --> 00:32:31.076
And I didn't think it was
possible and many people didn't,
00:32:31.100 --> 00:32:33.809
but Keith made that happen.
00:32:33.833 --> 00:32:39.967
And after that I wanted
to just join Keith.
00:32:40.633 --> 00:32:44.609
- I'm not a jealous person
and I'm not threatened.
00:32:44.633 --> 00:32:45.543
I trust in his love for me.
00:32:45.567 --> 00:32:46.933
And yet I know that he has
a deep, deep love for Ani,
00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:52.567
and so do I.
00:32:52.900 --> 00:32:54.200
I mean, I really respect
the lessons she's given him.
00:32:57.333 --> 00:33:00.500
I think she's made
him a better man.
00:33:00.667 --> 00:33:05.176
And I just want him to live
his life to the fullest,
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:07.576
and I wanna be part of
that journey with him.
00:33:07.600 --> 00:33:10.409
- I actually believe in magic.
00:33:10.433 --> 00:33:16.267
It's like whatever he was
imagining was real in 1998,
00:33:18.633 --> 00:33:20.476
has become real in the world.
00:33:20.500 --> 00:33:24.109
And whether it was
actually real then or not,
00:33:24.133 --> 00:33:27.009
he made it real
or it became real.
00:33:27.033 --> 00:33:28.376
And that's the miracle.
00:33:28.400 --> 00:33:29.709
That's the magic.
00:33:29.733 --> 00:33:33.943
And we're right here
in the middle of it.
00:33:33.967 --> 00:33:38.367
♪ The depths of ever rest. ♪
00:33:42.033 --> 00:33:45.167
(gentle music)
00:33:48.533 --> 00:33:52.309
- We are about to
film me watching
00:33:52.333 --> 00:33:53.367
Ani's interview
for the first time.
00:33:54.600 --> 00:33:55.767
I have been prepared for
various balloons to go.
00:34:00.967 --> 00:34:02.409
(Keith exhaling)
00:34:02.433 --> 00:34:04.643
♪ I'm so lucky to be home- ♪
00:34:04.667 --> 00:34:06.033
- [Phone] Yeah.
00:34:07.567 --> 00:34:10.600
That's a funny way to put it.
00:34:12.133 --> 00:34:12.676
Hello?
00:34:12.700 --> 00:34:16.609
- Sorry, the balloon was
still emptying out there.
00:34:16.633 --> 00:34:18.643
(person on phone laughing)
00:34:18.667 --> 00:34:22.809
♪ We've been all
the way around ♪
00:34:22.833 --> 00:34:28.700
♪ And come back to love anew ♪
00:34:31.600 --> 00:34:36.443
♪ And I am so lucky
to be home with you ♪
00:34:36.467 --> 00:34:39.643
- Look guys, if I get a
cease and desist letter,
00:34:39.667 --> 00:34:41.509
I'll totally stop, right?
00:34:41.533 --> 00:34:43.843
- Cease collaging
in my direction.
00:34:43.867 --> 00:34:46.276
- Yeah.
- Or I'll have you arrested.
00:34:46.300 --> 00:34:47.209
- Please join us next week
00:34:47.233 --> 00:34:49.109
for our regularly
scheduled program
00:34:49.133 --> 00:34:52.176
of Keith has a
hypomanic episode.
00:34:52.200 --> 00:34:52.876
(Keith laughs)
00:34:52.900 --> 00:34:55.567
Thank you for coming
and get home safely.