00:00:22:03 (INDISTINCT LYRICS IN BACKGROUND)

00:00:24:03

00:00:26:01 MAN 1: This is Nicole.

00:00:28:11 She's three days old.

00:00:30:03

00:00:32:18 Three days and a half hour.

00:00:34:13 Today is November 22nd, 1988.

00:00:38:06

00:00:40:13 It's my little girl, little girl number two.

00:00:43:18

00:00:46:20 (MAN SIGHING)

00:00:50:02 MAN 1: I can't wait to get my family home.

00:00:51:22 It's just been a heck of a time.

00:00:54:22 We just want to go home

00:00:57:18 and continue to be a new family

00:01:02:11 with one more mouth to feed,

00:01:05:03 one more bottom to change.

00:01:07:18 (INDISTINCT LYRICS IN BACKGROUND)

00:01:10:11 One more.

00:01:13:13 (INDISTINCT LYRICS IN BACKGROUND)

00:01:15:20 MAN 1: Only for another 21 years,

00:01:17:15 then we'll stop worrying a little bit.

00:01:19:15 (INDISTINCT LYRICS IN BACKGROUND)

00:01:21:22 MAN 1: She looks so peaceful.

00:01:23:10

00:01:24:17 Can you see her?

00:01:26:06 (MAN CHUCKLES)

00:01:27:12 (INDISTINCT LYRICS IN BACKGROUND)

00:01:30:23 (PHONE RINGING)

00:01:33:20

00:01:40:08 (DISTORTION)

00:01:40:18

00:02:18:11 (LAUGHTER IN BACKGROUND)

00:02:20:20 -MAN 1: (INDISTINCT SPEECH) -WOMAN 1: Nicole.

00:02:22:10

00:02:25:03 MAN 1: You got a flower!

00:02:27:11

00:03:17:13 (§§§)

00:03:27:13

00:03:34:03 (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

00:03:37:03

00:03:49:21 KIM: Excuse me, miss?

00:03:51:00 -Hey, gorgeous! -(KIM CHUCKLING)

00:03:52:16 KIM: Oh, thank you for coming.

00:03:54:16 WOMAN 2: Oh, my God!

00:03:56:14 (WOMAN CHUCKLING)

00:03:58:07 (KISSING)

00:03:59:09 I wish I could just squeeze the life out of you.

00:04:00:17 Oh, I could fathom you.

00:04:01:22 Oh, my God, it's so good to see you!

00:04:04:18 -Mm, I needed that, oh, God! -Yeah, me, too.

00:04:07:02 KIM: It's gonna be a great day, right?

00:04:08:09 Look, I'm makin' a sign.

00:04:09:14

00:04:11:17 You know what I wanted my sign to say, you guys?

00:04:14:10 I wanna be honest with you.

00:04:15:20 I wanted it to say, "Time's up, motherfuckers."

00:04:19:15 Oh, okay.

00:04:20:22 But I figured that would not get me on the news.

00:04:22:03 It's not good to say that, but it's not--

00:04:23:16 Oh, that, too.

00:04:24:23 -(CHUCKLING) -LADYKATHRYN: That, too.

00:04:27:00 -You're so silly. -LADYKATHRYN: Sure, yeah.

00:04:28:13 -Get out of here. -LADYKATHRYN: (INDISTINCT)

00:04:29:18 Look, I got my 17th hole.

00:04:31:08 -I got 17 holes. -Yeah, yeah.

00:04:33:01 One for every year I did.

00:04:35:09 Oh, yeah.

00:04:36:13 And my last hole is this little diamond right here.

00:04:40:04 -That was the 17th. -Okay.

00:04:42:06 I just got that done

00:04:43:02 -a couple of weeks ago. -Yeah.

00:04:44:19 So I have a hole for every year I did.

00:04:47:00 (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

00:04:50:00

00:05:12:19 (HELICOPTER WHIRRING)

00:05:14:04 (CROWD CHEERING)

00:05:16:04

00:05:17:14 KIM: Hi, excuse me, I'm tryin' to get signatures

00:05:19:15 for the DVSJA.

00:05:20:15 It's a bill we're trying to get passed.

00:05:22:16 It's for domestic violence survivors.

00:05:24:19

00:05:25:19 Hi, we're tryin' to get a bill passed, the DVSJA.

00:05:28:19 It's for domestic violence survivors

00:05:30:03 to not be re-victimized by the criminal justice system.

00:05:33:07 WOMAN 3: Bills uh--

00:05:34:06 KIM: It's-- it's called "the DVSJA",

00:05:36:00 the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act.

00:05:38:07 And what it is is a bill we're tryin' to get passed

00:05:40:02 in New York state that would give judges

00:05:41:22 and DAs discretionary power when sentencing a woman

00:05:45:07 convicted of a domestic violence crime.

00:05:47:12 And this bill would give judges and DAs-- kind of force them--

00:05:50:08 -WOMAN 3: Yeah. -KIM: To take notice

00:05:51:10 that there is such thing as domestic violence.

00:05:55:21 Because it seems like when sentencing,

00:05:57:11 they forget these things.

00:05:59:19 We're getting signatures for the Domestic Violence

00:06:01:19 Survivors Justice Act.

00:06:03:01 It's a bill that we're tryin' to get passed in Albany

00:06:05:03 and we've been working on this for eight years

00:06:06:22 and I just don't want any other woman to spend

00:06:08:14 over half her life in prison

00:06:11:19 for defending herself.

00:06:12:23 Thank you, thank you.

00:06:14:09

00:06:15:17 You should be over here with us.

00:06:17:07

00:06:18:06 You should.

00:06:19:08

00:06:22:22 ...show me what democracy looks like!

00:06:25:05 This is what democracy looks like!

00:06:27:04 Show me what democracy looks like!

00:06:29:05 This is what democracy looks like!

00:06:31:09 Show me what democracy looks like!

00:06:33:12 This is what democracy looks like!

00:06:35:19 Show me what democracy looks like!

00:06:37:18 This is what democracy...

00:06:40:01 KIM: Every six seconds a woman is battered in this country.

00:06:42:05 Really?

00:06:43:02 How many six seconds have gone by

00:06:44:05 since we've been just sitting here chit chatting?

00:06:46:02 In US alone, an estimated one in four women

00:06:48:15 is victim of severe physical abuse.

00:06:51:04

00:06:54:10 NEWSREADER 1: Should someone who's suffered repeated abuse at the hands

00:06:57:01 of their intimate partner be given leniency

00:06:59:21 in a court of law?

00:07:01:02 Democratic lawmakers have proposed the bill

00:07:03:22 called "the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act".

00:07:07:16 The bill would give judges the discretion

00:07:09:11 to lessen sentences for those who protect themselves

00:07:12:07 in domestic abuse situations.

00:07:14:00 They would take notice of a domestic violence defense.

00:07:18:18 NEWSREADER 1: Opponents say lessening crimes of assault and murder

00:07:21:11 is not the way to go.

00:07:22:19 Unfortunately, uh, a crime is a crime.

00:07:25:19 KIM: The Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act is essential

00:07:29:18 so women don't lose years of their lives like I did.

00:07:34:00 I came home almost 50 years old.

00:07:37:15 I deliver pizzas for a living.

00:07:39:16 I have two college degrees and can't get a decent job

00:07:42:13 because of my felony conviction.

00:07:45:19 These are moms, these are wives,

00:07:47:21 these are sisters, these are daughters,

00:07:50:06 and nobody believes them.

00:07:52:19 They've been ripped away from their families.

00:07:55:20 The system is broken and we need to fix it.

00:07:59:21 I'm gonna tear it down.

00:08:01:18

00:08:05:22 (VOCALIZING)

00:08:08:22

00:08:15:08 Hello, my name is Michelle Addimando.

00:08:18:11 My name is Nicole.

00:08:20:07 (CHUCKLING)

00:08:21:20

00:08:23:14 § I love you §

00:08:26:13 § You love me §

00:08:29:07 § We're all happy family §

00:08:33:19 -§ With a great big hug § -MAN 1: Okay.

00:08:37:05 § And a kiss from me to you §

00:08:39:03 § Won't you say you love me, too §

00:08:43:20 MAN 1: Alright.

00:08:44:19 (DISTORTION)

00:08:46:03

00:08:50:08 MICHELLE: Nikki made this for me when, like, I don't know,

00:08:52:10 maybe I was 20.

00:08:53:23 This is like just a Christmas photo

00:08:55:19 when we lived in Brewster.

00:08:57:14 And this was also in Brewster, holding hands.

00:09:01:17

00:09:03:01 She's so cute.

00:09:04:12

00:09:07:02 Nikki is two years younger than me.

00:09:09:03 And we grew up together in the same house, two parents.

00:09:13:04 She was maternal from the time she was a baby,

00:09:15:22 like she was always carrying baby dolls around.

00:09:18:10 She's always had like a natural gift around kids,

00:09:22:05 very gentle, very attuned.

00:09:24:11 And she was-- she was artistic,

00:09:26:13 but nothing like since she's been incarcerated.

00:09:29:16

00:09:32:17 These are the things like I just cherish

00:09:36:07 and I would take in a fire.

00:09:38:10 Like, if there was a fire, I would, like, grab this box.

00:09:41:09 Like, all this color was used from rubbing deodorant

00:09:45:10 and then rubbing magazines.

00:09:47:16

00:09:48:18 She captures her body language and, like,

00:09:52:05 I can feel her in these pictures.

00:09:55:06

00:09:56:18 Oh, this one.

00:09:57:19 Like, this is how-- exactly how she sits.

00:10:00:05

00:10:03:19 I can just feel, like, the despair.

00:10:05:23

00:10:07:11 Mm, this one really breaks my heart, 'cause...

00:10:10:06

00:10:12:06 you know, Nikki was able to endure what she did,

00:10:15:10 because she thought

00:10:18:02 she was the only one being hurt.

00:10:20:04 She didn't realize that, um,

00:10:22:16 the kids would wake up and--

00:10:24:18 and peek and see, um,

00:10:27:19 things that they are scarred by.

00:10:29:20

00:10:31:21 She's resourceful with her art, and with her crafting,

00:10:35:14 and she's resourceful internally.

00:10:38:17 And her ways of coping through unimaginable horror

00:10:43:12 was to keep it to herself

00:10:45:21 and it worked for a long time until it didn't.

00:10:50:12

00:10:51:06 (INDISTINCT LYRICS IN BACKGROUND)

00:10:53:07 (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

00:10:55:08 Woo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

00:10:58:09 Hoo, hoo!

00:10:59:12 (CHEERING)

00:11:01:09 Ugh!

00:11:02:16

00:11:07:04 MICHELLE: As a little girl, she's like, "Do I wanna be a vet

00:11:09:00 or do I wanna be a teacher?"

00:11:11:07 Um, she ultimately decided to go to school for teaching,

00:11:14:21 but what she really wanted, from the time she was little,

00:11:18:06 was to be a mother.

00:11:19:13 Knowing the situation from my perspective,

00:11:22:06 the fact that these early years have been robbed from her

00:11:26:09 and she'll never get them back is...

00:11:28:05

00:11:30:14 You know, she can't-- she can't be a mom to--

00:11:33:13 (SNIFFLES) A four-year-old.

00:11:35:20 And she tries and she--

00:11:37:12 She's amazing on the phone with them.

00:11:39:01 You know, she's so attuned with them

00:11:40:22 and she-- she s-- spends as much time

00:11:43:14 as she can when they visit.

00:11:45:10 But, um, you know.

00:11:48:10 Even if she came home tomorrow, there's so much

00:11:51:12 that she has already missed that she can't get back.

00:11:54:08

00:11:58:14 Why are you sad sweetie?

00:11:59:23 Because we want our mommy.

00:12:02:11

00:12:04:01 -(GRUNTING) -By the--

00:12:07:00 MICHELLE: She's gonna call any minute.

00:12:07:23 By the way, mom, if you're--

00:12:10:01 Um, this night, we're reading Time for Bed.

00:12:16:11 And also can you call right now?

00:12:19:14 MICHELLE: She's gonna call any minute.

00:12:21:01 I want you to call right now, mommy.

00:12:25:04 MICHELLE: She's gonna call.

00:12:26:12 (PHONE RINGING)

00:12:27:16

00:13:33:09 Okay, their hands are ready.

00:13:36:01 NICOLE: Okay, ready?

00:13:37:13 (NICOLE MIMICKING KISSING)

00:13:40:13

00:13:42:06 (MIMICKING KISSING)

00:13:45:06

00:13:49:19 Mm, mm, mm, muah!

00:13:52:20

00:13:54:20 When women try to hang in a relationship

00:13:57:12 where there's domestic violence,

00:13:59:04 she's given the message that she's an idiot.

00:14:02:03 Why these double standards?

00:14:04:00 We are actually teaching, you know,

00:14:05:13 teaching our girls one thing and then applying them

00:14:08:16 differently at the most crucial moment,

00:14:11:15 when we should be acknowledging that we gave the message

00:14:14:06 to women to begin with that they need to stay

00:14:16:22 in these relationships, um, as much and as long as they can,

00:14:21:21 and they must be patient and they, you know,

00:14:24:01 must find a way so that their children

00:14:26:03 have a father, but when something goes wrong,

00:14:28:14 we immediately blame them.

00:14:30:00

00:14:32:17 I think we are often confused about why do women stay

00:14:35:17 until it's too late?

00:14:38:01 And when it's too late, have to defend themselves

00:14:40:10 in a way that eventually leads to someone's death.

00:14:43:04

00:14:44:08 We never compare the women who die with the women who kill.

00:14:47:21 We see them as separate and that is our first error.

00:14:51:05 Would it have been better if she died?

00:14:53:15 Is that really what we're asking of women

00:14:55:23 that they don't fight back, so they die?

00:14:58:22 And I think that's you know,

00:15:00:18 we are artificially separating the situations

00:15:04:00 and using again, double standards.

00:15:05:22

00:15:16:08 KIM: Oh, my goodness.

00:15:19:07 We're changing cooks.

00:15:20:08 I'm rearranging out here, because, um,

00:15:23:10 when she cooks, she has things a certain way

00:15:25:08 and she did the meat, so now I have to

00:15:27:12 move stuff around and rearrange stuff.

00:15:30:02

00:15:31:02 (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

00:15:34:03 Uh, we-- we-- we-- we didn't cook together on a unit,

00:15:37:16 -because we live separate. -KIM: Yeah, we live--

00:15:39:16 But we-- we cooked together in a mess hall.

00:15:41:16 KIM: Yeah, we did.

00:15:42:14 We cooked together in the mess hall.

00:15:43:19 Yeah, and she was the-- she was the vegetable girl.

00:15:46:04 KIM: But I worked in the-- I was the baker.

00:15:47:20 First.

00:15:48:19 And then I worked in the vegetable room.

00:15:49:16 Yeah.

00:15:50:18 And then after you left, I became the butcher,

00:15:53:19 but that was a couple years later.

00:15:55:10 -Yeah. -Yeah.

00:15:56:07 -Really? -KIM: Yeah.

00:15:57:17 You-- you-- you ain't never tell me

00:15:59:05 you became the butcher.

00:16:00:07 KIM: Yeah, I was the butcher.

00:16:03:05 (CHUCKLES)

00:16:04:15

00:16:09:17 KIM: I walk in the county jail

00:16:11:19 and my friend takes me over to the table

00:16:15:08 where some people are playing cards.

00:16:17:04 I don't know these people.

00:16:18:22 And, um, Tammy introduces me to Bell.

00:16:21:09 "Bell, this is Kim.

00:16:22:13 Kim, this is Bell."

00:16:23:18 She's like, "You're a cutie."

00:16:25:04 And I was like, "Oh, my God!

00:16:28:01 This is not what I need."

00:16:30:02 (CHUCKLING)

00:16:31:19 KIM: Get her!

00:16:33:06 -Ow! -See?

00:16:34:05 You can't turn around fast!

00:16:35:00 -Chasin' the cherry. -See?

00:16:36:13 No, I was chasin' the cherry.

00:16:38:01 That's what she said.

00:16:39:07 (Bell and Kim chuckling)

00:16:41:17 I like to hear her talk, the sound of her voice,

00:16:44:21 and her hair smell good all the time.

00:16:47:03 (CHUCKLING)

00:16:48:23 You're so silly.

00:16:49:20 (CHUCKLING)

00:16:51:20

00:16:53:14 KIM: I beat you!

00:16:54:20 -I really won! -This is her first time.

00:16:56:00 Can we get-- can we get a picture of this?

00:16:58:02 BELL: This is her first time beating me.

00:16:59:17 (BELL CHUCKLES)

00:17:01:06 (§§§)

00:17:09:01

00:17:11:08 KIM: After she came home from prison and--

00:17:13:14 And she was coming to visit me every other Saturday for years.

00:17:17:01 I told her, I said, "Go find somebody

00:17:19:22 who can love you and be there for you

00:17:23:04 like you deserve."

00:17:25:00 I felt like she was putting her life on hold for me.

00:17:27:09

00:17:30:11 And um, she said, "Okay."

00:17:33:04

00:17:34:12 She said, "I'm gonna go.

00:17:36:15

00:17:38:15 But if I don't find anybody better than you,

00:17:41:14 I'll be back."

00:17:42:19

00:17:44:08 And two weeks later, she came back.

00:17:47:16

00:17:49:07 And she said, "I didn't find anybody better than you

00:17:53:01 and so I'm back."

00:17:54:06

00:18:01:03 BELL: I-- I continuously visited her.

00:18:03:07

00:18:04:20 Anything she thought she needed, I would get it and send it.

00:18:09:11 KIM: I kept track of her life and it made me feel good.

00:18:12:12 See, here's her and her friends.

00:18:13:17 Yeah, we was in a hotel getting dressed for an event.

00:18:16:10 -Yeah, so I mean-- -Tore up.

00:18:18:02 (CHUCKLING)

00:18:19:08 It made me cry when she would send me these pictures,

00:18:21:08 but I also would beg her for them.

00:18:23:15

00:18:26:15 It just felt right.

00:18:28:07 I felt safe with her.

00:18:30:14 Thinking about Bell got me through

00:18:33:22 thousands and thousands of lonely nights.

00:18:37:13 So that's why I married you,

00:18:40:04 'cause you're the best person I've ever known.

00:18:42:00 Would I marry the second best?

00:18:43:14 No.

00:18:44:08 (CHUCKLES)

00:18:45:18

00:18:49:22 BELL: I know it's hard for people to say

00:18:53:14 and places like that you find happiness.

00:18:56:04

00:18:57:13 We have a real marriage, we go through real problems,

00:19:01:09 you know, but the thing is how many years we got, though.

00:19:05:00

00:19:06:09 Twenty-six.

00:19:07:19

00:19:09:19 Yeah.

00:19:11:08 Yeah, we met 26 years ago.

00:19:13:10 That's what I'm talkin' about.

00:19:15:00

00:19:19:21 (DISTORTION)

00:19:21:23 KIM: Being in jail...

00:19:24:12 (SIGHS)

00:19:26:04 And feeling like you're here unjustly

00:19:29:21 is the hardest thing.

00:19:31:03 WOMAN 5: Mmhmm.

00:19:32:23 You know, I'm--I'm just scared.

00:19:36:00

00:19:38:04 (INDISTINCT TV CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

00:19:39:16 MAN 2: (On TV) Is there any accountability... (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

00:19:43:06 Right now, I am pulling up a letter to Tanisha

00:19:46:20 that I started on the plane a couple of weeks ago.

00:19:51:15 Tanisha is a woman currently serving time

00:19:54:01 in Bedford Hills Correctional Facility.

00:19:56:03 She killed her abuser

00:19:58:01 and um, she's serving time for it.

00:20:00:15

00:20:02:18 I just wanted her to know that

00:20:06:00 I've been there.

00:20:07:01 I know how I felt when there was no light

00:20:08:20 at the end of the tunnel,

00:20:10:08 because the tunnel was so damn long.

00:20:12:20 I just wanted her to know that, "Hey, I'm here.

00:20:15:22 There's people out here who care about you.

00:20:18:11 We're doin' things."

00:20:20:15 There's people like Tanisha, and Nicole,

00:20:25:10 and-- and countless others that are still facing

00:20:28:23 the same things that I went through

00:20:31:06 almost 30 years ago.

00:20:33:07 Nothing has changed.

00:20:35:00

00:20:41:00 I'm gonna make it so that nobody else

00:20:43:19 has to lose years of their life.

00:20:45:15

00:20:46:23 It hurts me that I lost years, years, years of my life.

00:20:51:13 So I d-- I don't want any other woman

00:20:56:02 to be like me.

00:20:57:13

00:20:58:09 (DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE)

00:21:01:04

00:21:24:03 (COUGHING)

00:21:25:16

00:21:36:23 WOMAN 6: All the pictures, she's always smilin',

00:21:38:21 so you can tell she was a happy child.

00:21:41:18 Then as she got older, she just spread it out

00:21:44:17 and she had a lot of friends.

00:21:46:23

00:21:49:12 She was just an outgoin' person.

00:21:51:19 She was the life of the party.

00:21:54:02 She was.

00:21:54:19 (WOMAN LAUGHING)

00:21:56:04

00:21:58:11 BOY 1: I miss her and, like, I don't know.

00:22:01:23 Like-- like, yeah, like, I have other friends,

00:22:04:09 but, like-- she like my best, best friend in a way.

00:22:07:17 'Cause like-- like, the connection is, like, strong,

00:22:09:22 strong.

00:22:11:05 Yeah.

00:22:12:09 Tanisha Davis is my sister,

00:22:15:13 my other half, I always say.

00:22:18:00

00:22:19:12 Mm, my best friend.

00:22:21:06

00:22:23:05 I'm just patiently waitin' on her to come home.

00:22:25:12

00:22:27:03 Tanisha Davis is a young black woman

00:22:30:15 that shouldn't be in jail for savin' herself.

00:22:33:01

00:22:34:21 That's who Tanisha Davis is.

00:22:37:14 She should be a free woman.

00:22:39:04

00:22:40:11 26-year-old Tanisha Davis is facing murder charges

00:22:43:17 in the death of her boyfriend, 35-year-old Montreal Wright.

00:22:47:07 NEWS REPORTER 1: Davis faces a second-degree murder.

00:22:49:22 Investigators say around 1:30 Sunday mornin',

00:22:53:21 Davis used a knife to stab Montreal Wright into his neck.

00:22:57:20 Less than an hour later,

00:22:59:07 Wright was pronounced dead at Strong Hospital.

00:23:02:10 Now at this time,

00:23:03:11 a lot of questions surrounding this case,

00:23:05:14 like, what led to this murder?

00:23:07:08 MARY: What if it was her that was dead?

00:23:10:04 Callin' the police.

00:23:11:08 They don't care where some of us live

00:23:14:15 and because we end up livin' in the hood,

00:23:16:23 as they call it,

00:23:18:17 every time they don't wanna come anyway.

00:23:21:11 -LAKETA: Mmhmm. -So we had a loss-loss.

00:23:24:10 It does-- doesn't matter, we had a loss.

00:23:26:19

00:23:29:21 In the courtroom, Tanisha stood up,

00:23:31:22 and she was sayin' her words and she started, you know,

00:23:34:13 bawlin', 'cause even though he put her through this,

00:23:37:17 she loved this guy.

00:23:39:09 He'd been there for--

00:23:40:16 for this man right here, you know?

00:23:42:21 He was a father figure, even though he was bein' bad.

00:23:48:00 So she was boohoo cryin' and the judge was like,

00:23:51:07

00:23:53:04 "You ain't cryin' for nobody, but yourself."

00:23:56:05 All I can say is she just treated unfairly.

00:23:59:03 That's what I feel.

00:24:00:09 I mean, they questioned her on

00:24:02:11 why she didn't like cops.

00:24:05:01 She said, "Because my mother don't like cops" or whatever.

00:24:11:02 And I s-- I wanted to get up so bad

00:24:12:20 and tell 'em, "We don't like cops,

00:24:14:05 because you don't do your job."

00:24:16:04

00:24:17:22 I mean, for someone to go through this year--

00:24:20:08 for years, but you don't look at that.

00:24:22:15

00:24:24:09 Until you in someone's shoes, you'd never understand it.

00:24:27:11

00:25:42:21 TANISHA: Towel.

00:25:44:02

00:26:32:13 (TANISHA CRYING)

00:26:34:12 TANISHA: Oh, my God!

00:26:36:21

00:27:03:03 KIM: Be careful.

00:27:04:08 (§§§)

00:27:14:08

00:27:18:08 KIM: Today is, um, December 17th.

00:27:21:08 It's the anniversary

00:27:24:11 of, um, the incident, the-- the day I--

00:27:28:15 I shot him.

00:27:29:14 The...

00:27:31:07 I do-- I'm not sure how to say it.

00:27:33:00 I don't wanna say, "The day of my crime."

00:27:34:18 I don't want to say, "The day of...

00:27:38:17 The anniversary of his death.

00:27:40:09 The-- I guess the anniversary of his death."

00:27:43:10

00:27:47:00 Darnell Sanders was a strong, handsome,

00:27:50:01 gorgeous man.

00:27:52:14 He would bring me flowers and he was captivating.

00:27:56:13 He-- he was all consuming.

00:27:59:22 I felt like being with him was a move forward in my life.

00:28:03:22 I thought this was a good thing.

00:28:05:17 I wanted to work hard for us and--

00:28:07:21 And be a successful young couple.

00:28:10:06

00:28:13:00 He was the man that I planned

00:28:15:09 to spend the rest of my life with.

00:28:16:18 He was the man I wanted children with.

00:28:19:15 He was the man I wanted my dream with.

00:28:22:03

00:28:24:14 My love for him turned into fear.

00:28:26:16

00:28:27:17 (§§§)

00:28:33:19 WOMAN 7: Kim and Darnell's relationship was often rocky.

00:28:37:02 Um, Kim loved him and Darnell loved her so much,

00:28:40:15 but it was more like Darnell wanted to possess Kim

00:28:44:03 than be with her.

00:28:45:08 He wanted to own her.

00:28:46:20

00:28:48:21 She just tried to split up from him several times.

00:28:52:04 She would get a restraining order,

00:28:53:18 he would show up, they would get back together.

00:28:56:13 Two weeks later, he would have her yoked up

00:28:58:19 by the bedroom door, screamin' in her face.

00:29:01:19 She was already on the way to letting him go.

00:29:04:21 She was more than willing to move on.

00:29:07:00

00:29:12:10 Do you think a restraining order protects you?

00:29:15:06 Do you really think for a second

00:29:17:00 that piece of paper protects you?

00:29:18:20

00:29:20:03 No, it doesn't.

00:29:21:14

00:29:27:00 The tree out in front is so much bigger.

00:29:29:07

00:29:30:17 This tree-- this is my mom's house right here.

00:29:32:23

00:29:36:23 This is right here where it happened.

00:29:39:01

00:29:42:17 (BIRDS CHIRPING IN DISTANCE)

00:29:45:02

00:29:46:23 KIM: On December 17th, 1991,

00:29:51:01 um, Darnell and I had been fighting off and on

00:29:55:03 since Thanksgiving.

00:29:57:10 And um, he came out, it was almost midnight...

00:30:00:16

00:30:02:07 and he blew the horn.

00:30:03:22 (DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE)

00:30:05:12 And I ran outside, and I got in the car.

00:30:10:10 (VEHICLE WHOOSHING IN DISTANCE)

00:30:13:13 KIM: And we started hugging and kissing,

00:30:16:01 and he wanted me to suck his dick.

00:30:18:06 I'm like, "No", I was like, "Come on."

00:30:19:15 I was like, "Don't act like this.

00:30:21:03 Why are you acting like this?

00:30:22:07 Come in the house.

00:30:23:09 We can spend some time together.

00:30:24:17 You know, we'll go up to my room, we'll talk."

00:30:26:11 He was like, "If you're not givin' it to me,

00:30:28:08 who are you givin' it to?"

00:30:30:21 And he's not listening to me.

00:30:32:13 He's got it in his head now that I'm fucking somebody else.

00:30:35:12 He just-- he pushed me down.

00:30:36:19 Like, he was trying to just-- he-- he--

00:30:38:21 he never said, "Shut up",

00:30:41:11 but I felt him trying to silence me and--

00:30:43:16 And he pushes me down

00:30:44:18 and now he's over on top of me.

00:30:47:04 And he's saying, "This is it, bitch.

00:30:49:08 This is it."

00:30:50:17 I thought, "The gun is under my seat."

00:30:53:07 He always kept his gun under my seat.

00:30:57:05 I reached for it.

00:30:59:14 And with all my might, I just--

00:31:02:11 Just pushed up.

00:31:05:07 Like, "Get off of me!

00:31:06:14 Look, stop, I really can't breathe this.

00:31:08:19 I really can't breathe.

00:31:10:08 Stop it."

00:31:11:22 And-- and it went off and it was like--

00:31:14:22 (MIMICS GUNSHOT)

00:31:16:02

00:31:18:02 (WHIRRING)

00:31:21:08 KIM: If I didn't fight back,

00:31:23:18 he would have killed me that night.

00:31:25:09 I know it.

00:31:27:00

00:31:29:19 (DISTORTION)

00:31:30:22 (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

00:31:32:22

00:31:38:23 NEWS REPORTER 2: Police discovered the body of 26-year-old Darnell Sanders

00:31:42:09 in some bushes.

00:31:43:15 He had been shot to death.

00:31:45:02 His girlfriend charged with the murder.

00:31:47:07

00:31:49:09 NEWSREADER 2: Darnell Sanders was found dead in the snow

00:31:51:23 with six bullet wounds.

00:31:53:06 He'd driven away from Dadou's house

00:31:55:07 where the couple had argued

00:31:56:17 and she says he began choking her.

00:31:58:21 NEWS REPORTER 2: She says she spent five years in an abusive relationship.

00:32:02:15 Although she says she's sorry for what happened,

00:32:05:03 she doesn't feel she should go to prison

00:32:07:05 for trying to protect her life.

00:32:09:19 I am hoping for a fair trial.

00:32:12:15 I am hoping for, um, public awareness

00:32:17:03 of violence against women.

00:32:19:21 Dadou may get to tell the court, her side of the story

00:32:23:07 and what led up to the fatal shooting that day.

00:32:26:06 Her attorney says his client will most likely take the stand

00:32:29:16 in her own defense.

00:32:31:00 Jury selection begins on Monday.

00:32:33:13

00:32:42:01 Did you wanna go upstairs?

00:32:43:12

00:32:47:06 I always thought that someone would listen to me

00:32:49:18 and do right by me, but in hindsight,

00:32:52:22 I feel like I was totally bamboozled.

00:32:56:01 At some points, it felt like a witch burning, like,

00:32:59:21 here I am, this woman stepped outside

00:33:02:20 of my submissive role, and defended myself, and now...

00:33:06:12

00:33:08:02 I-- I don't know.

00:33:09:07 I-- I felt like I thought I was doing the right thing.

00:33:11:23

00:33:14:10 I knew I was going to get some time,

00:33:16:18 by the way everything was going.

00:33:19:05 They found me guilty of man one.

00:33:21:08

00:33:23:02 I was hoping it was gonna be less than that.

00:33:26:02

00:33:28:23 You know, the courtroom is spinning

00:33:30:08 and-- and my head is spinning,

00:33:31:20 and now they're putting my hands behind my back

00:33:34:08 and they're handcuffing me.

00:33:35:14 (SNIFFLES)

00:33:36:12 And I'm like, "What's happening?"

00:33:37:06 And I'm thinking, you know,

00:33:39:14 "My dog is in my mom's basement."

00:33:42:16

00:33:44:11 I had a car.

00:33:45:15

00:33:47:20 I had a-- a little piece of job that I had gotten

00:33:50:12 when I was home on bail.

00:33:51:23

00:33:53:12 "What does this mean?

00:33:54:16 Does this mean now I'm going to prison forever?"

00:33:57:07

00:33:58:20 And, um, that's when they took me away.

00:34:01:16

00:34:03:10 And I was sitting in the holding cell

00:34:06:01

00:34:07:08 just-- just watching the highway below.

00:34:11:15

00:34:12:12 Just-- just not believing that that's where I was.

00:34:16:07

00:34:17:18 (SNIFFLES)

00:34:19:19 (DISTORTION)

00:34:21:05

00:34:29:17 KIM: I was battered by Darnell for many years,

00:34:32:07 and I do believe that my life was in danger that night,

00:34:36:00 and I did act in self-defense.

00:34:37:22

00:34:39:14 If I had not defended my life,

00:34:41:15 I think Darnell would be standing here today

00:34:43:22 instead of me.

00:34:45:03

00:34:50:09 (SNIFFLES)

00:34:51:11 I'll call you tonight, mum, I love you.

00:34:53:13

00:34:56:01 (DISTORTION)

00:34:57:12

00:35:02:20 (PHONE RINGING)

00:35:04:20

00:35:30:10 SARAH: Mmhmm.

00:35:31:05

00:35:56:02 Within a couple of months of Nicole and I working together,

00:35:59:07 I started to see more and more signs

00:36:01:04 of domestic violence.

00:36:02:08 I started noticing regular bruising on her face,

00:36:06:17 on her arms, sometimes,

00:36:07:21 if I could see parts of her arms, um,

00:36:09:21 sometimes around her neck and around her chest

00:36:12:07 if-- if she was wearing something that allowed

00:36:15:13 that to be visible, which was not very often.

00:36:17:17

00:36:20:12 In September of 2014, Nicole contacted me

00:36:24:12 and let me know that she had suffered an injury

00:36:27:20 and was in a lot of pain.

00:36:29:19

00:36:31:13 She told me that-- that Chris had slammed her head

00:36:34:12 into a counter after refusing sex.

00:36:38:01

00:36:39:00 Chris took her head and slammed it into a counter

00:36:41:07 and-- and then raped her.

00:36:43:07 She said that Chris told her that because I'm allowing you

00:36:45:23 to stay home with the kids and-- and meeting your needs that way,

00:36:49:09 you are expected to meet my needs this way.

00:36:52:06

00:36:55:00 About three days later, I got another communication

00:36:58:01 from Nicole saying that something else had happened

00:37:01:00 and she had a harder time talking about this.

00:37:05:13 She had been making eggs for her son early in the morning

00:37:08:14 when Chris walked into the kitchen

00:37:10:10 and told her that she-- she better be making enough eggs

00:37:13:04 for his breakfast, too.

00:37:14:16 And Nicole, um,

00:37:16:02 as domestic violence victim sometimes do,

00:37:18:18 spoke back in a sarcastic way and she said, "Yes, sir."

00:37:23:19 Um, Chris-- Chris became very angry about that,

00:37:28:07 um, and told her that she did not have

00:37:30:11 enough respect for him and she needed to learn

00:37:32:20 a lesson about respect.

00:37:35:06 Nicole had been cooking at a gas stove

00:37:37:04 and the burner was still on.

00:37:39:16 Chris took a metal spoon from the kitchen,

00:37:42:13 heated the metal spoon up in the flame of the gas stove,

00:37:46:05 and then pressed the spoon to her skin over and over again,

00:37:50:11 heating it up and then pressing it to her skin.

00:37:52:23 Where he pressed it were her-- her upper thighs,

00:37:55:23 the inside of her upper thighs, um, vulva, labia,

00:38:00:18 and also, um, that he inserted the spoon

00:38:03:15 several times into her vagina

00:38:05:21 while Nicole was about four-- four to five months pregnant

00:38:09:07 with their second child Faye.

00:38:11:03

00:38:15:21 ♪ Happy birthday to you

00:38:19:22 § Happy birthday to you §

00:38:25:01 § Happy birthday dear, Nikki §

00:38:30:08 § Mommy §

00:38:32:01 -§ Happy birthday to you § -(FAYE GASPS, BLOWS AIR)

00:38:38:04 MAN 3: Wish, wish, wish.

00:38:40:05 -Okay, everybody, you-- -Yay!

00:38:42:00 MAN 3: Did well, really well.

00:38:43:06

00:38:45:20 -NICOLE: Thank you, my babies. -BEN: Put them on!

00:38:47:05 -NICOLE: Did you make wishes? -FAYE: Yeah.

00:38:48:16 BEN: Yep, I wished that you could come back home.

00:38:52:17 FAYE: Me, too.

00:38:53:22 NICOLE: Me, too, baby. That's what I wish, too.

00:38:56:00

00:38:58:09 Judges are not thinking about what sort of man

00:39:01:21 would choke his wife,

00:39:04:07 beat her a black and blue,

00:39:06:11 rape or sexually mutilate her.

00:39:09:11 And would-- would this be a guy

00:39:11:20 who could reasonably interact with children?

00:39:15:23 If-- even if you don't want to look at the research,

00:39:18:12 just logically, what sort of man could do that to someone

00:39:22:14 whom he claims to love?

00:39:23:22 What kind of father would he be?

00:39:25:20

00:39:27:18 For a s-- survivor saying he's a good father,

00:39:30:22 it means he's not choking the child,

00:39:32:17 because he choked the woman.

00:39:34:18 And I wanna respect the survivor saying

00:39:36:23 he's a good father and listen, but I also wanna know

00:39:40:06 what is the child being exposed to.

00:39:42:07

00:39:47:17 Manipulation is focusing on those vulnerabilities

00:39:51:05 that the abuser knows so intimately

00:39:54:06 that only he knows, because he's close to you.

00:39:57:09 And then using that to leverage his power

00:40:00:14 by exploiting them, by emphasizing them,

00:40:03:23 by threatening to harm you in some way around them.

00:40:07:00 So chained together,

00:40:08:22 they form a very powerful instrument

00:40:12:00 that slowly rob the women of liberty to act,

00:40:15:05 and believe in herself, and believe

00:40:17:14 that the outside world can in any way be helpful.

00:40:20:18 (§§§)

00:40:30:18

00:41:10:05 (DISTORTION)

00:41:13:05

00:41:49:12 POLICE OFFICER 1: (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

00:41:51:13

00:42:01:22 POLICE OFFICER 1: (INDISTINCT SPEECH)

00:42:03:12

00:42:53:06 MAN 4: (ON RADIO) Alright, yeah, I got the father.

00:42:55:05

00:43:04:18 FAYE: Don't do this. No!

00:43:09:04

00:43:24:13 (§§§)

00:43:33:11

00:43:44:14 Um...

00:43:46:01

00:43:50:10 (SIGHING)

00:43:52:03

00:43:59:10 (SIGHING)

00:44:00:20

00:45:27:20 (PHONE RINGING)

00:45:30:20

00:47:30:10 We're in New York City, Manhattan.

00:47:33:22 Um, and I have no idea where we are

00:47:38:08 right at this present moment, but--

00:47:39:19 (LAUGHING)

00:47:41:03 KIM: But I know we are going to speak at a round table.

00:47:45:04

00:47:46:22 It's, um, survivors and advocates

00:47:51:01 of domestic violence.

00:47:53:15 It's to share experiences, trials,

00:47:56:16 tribulations, triumphs.

00:47:58:11

00:48:00:14 Puttin' our heads together.

00:48:02:01

00:48:04:21 Hopefully this, you know, opportunity that we have here

00:48:07:23 of sharing is to show clearly that

00:48:13:19 what took place was about her survival,

00:48:16:21 but that feeling of wanting to survive

00:48:20:01 happens every day.

00:48:22:03 So it could have been any of us that made the decision.

00:48:26:09 And I'm glad that she made this des-- decision to live.

00:48:30:17

00:48:32:23 KIM: Six months into the relationship,

00:48:34:20 he hit me for the first time,

00:48:37:04 and I-- I didn't realize that what was happening

00:48:41:15 was abnormal, you know?

00:48:44:19 I've had a pair of jeans with like the rip

00:48:47:00 right beneath your butt cheek.

00:48:48:13 You know, right there.

00:48:49:14 Not quite your butt cheek, but your thigh.

00:48:51:06 I thought I was cute.

00:48:52:20 And, um, I came out of the store,

00:48:56:01 and I must've took too long,

00:48:57:18 and he was standing there leaning up against the car.

00:49:01:21 I was like, "Oh, shit, here we go."

00:49:05:11 And he was like,

00:49:06:11 "You think you're cute, don't you?"

00:49:09:20 And I'd seen that look.

00:49:12:14 And he said, "Turn around."

00:49:14:01

00:49:17:03 So I turned around.

00:49:19:09 And he grabbed-- he put his hand

00:49:22:20 in the cut of my jeans and he said,

00:49:26:10 "You wanna be out here showin' your ass?"

00:49:28:06

00:49:29:20 And he literally ripped my jeans off of me.

00:49:34:15

00:49:37:00 And I couldn't move.

00:49:38:13 I-- I couldn't move until, like, he shoved me.

00:49:42:08 And then, like-- well, I was just in such shock.

00:49:45:08 - And-- -WOMAN 8: Terror.

00:49:46:06 I mean, there's guys on the street.

00:49:48:07 There's-- there's drug dealers, there's kids,

00:49:50:11 there's people barbecuing, like--

00:49:52:02 -WOMAN 9: And nobody steps in. -Nobody said anything.

00:49:54:09 -WOMAN 8: Nobody steps in. -No one ever did.

00:49:57:03 Right, and that's so true for so many survivors, right?

00:50:00:15 So we have concrete experience that nobody will help us,

00:50:04:12 whether it's the neighbor who hears us crying or screaming

00:50:07:22 and comes out--

00:50:09:07 -WOMAN 8: The church. -The church.

00:50:10:07 Our own families.

00:50:11:18 -I mean, the police, right? -KIM: Mmhmm, yeah.

00:50:13:17 We have concrete evidence to show that people don't care.

00:50:17:17 WOMAN 9: People think abuse is just physical.

00:50:20:12 "But I don't see a black eye, I don't see a bruise there.

00:50:23:06 Uh, that's not abuse!"

00:50:24:20 What people outwardly don't understand,

00:50:26:17 if you're not bleeding where they could see

00:50:29:16 or you're not bruised where they can see,

00:50:31:18 they don't understand that you're walking around

00:50:33:17 trying to figure out how to survive

00:50:35:11 moment to moment.

00:50:36:19 I think it's important for people to understand that.

00:50:39:01 We have to find those women to change some of the judges,

00:50:42:02 because some of the things that we face is

00:50:43:15 what the judges are doing in their own.

00:50:45:06 So they're not gonna do nothing.

00:50:47:07 WOMAN 10: Judges need to be educated.

00:50:48:17 -Oh, yeah. -Well, that's--

00:50:49:20 ...if he was educated.

00:50:50:21 That's the DVSJA, that's our bill.

00:50:53:12 That's our bill.

00:50:55:05 WOMAN 9: They are educated. The judges are educated...

00:50:56:21 (§§§)

00:51:06:21

00:51:10:10 KIM: A person who is in court for defending themselves

00:51:13:20 from their abuser needs to be viewed as a victim.

00:51:16:14

00:51:19:03 The DVSJA is not a get-out-of-jail-free card.

00:51:23:17 This bill does more than just give judges

00:51:26:14 and DAs more discretionary power.

00:51:29:18 It's not just about re-sentencing,

00:51:31:19 but it's going to make them pay attention

00:51:34:09 to a domestic violence defense,

00:51:35:23 make the court take into consideration

00:51:39:09 the fact that this woman is battered

00:51:41:02 and hopefully not revictimize her continuously.

00:51:44:03

00:51:46:21 The obstacles that we're encountering,

00:51:49:01 trying to move this bill forward,

00:51:50:22 it's that, you know, my colleagues, some of them,

00:51:53:23 really do not understand

00:51:55:22 what the sentencing guidelines are.

00:51:59:05 They're thinking that we're just trying

00:52:01:13 to get everyone out of prison.

00:52:02:22 This bill does not properly strike that balance

00:52:06:12 between, uh, the rights of the victim of that crime,

00:52:10:12 uh, a-- and protecting the victim

00:52:12:19 of domestic violence.

00:52:14:01 Um, that's why I'm gonna be vo-- voting in the negative,

00:52:16:15 uh, and I know a number of my colleagues

00:52:18:07 will be doing so as well.

00:52:19:12 Thank you.

00:52:20:19 They're saying, "If we pass this legislation,

00:52:23:19 we're gonna put the burden on the court system,

00:52:26:11 because they're gonna be s-- the flood gates are gonna open

00:52:29:00 the number of people asking for-- for

00:52:32:00 their-- their sentences to be reviewed.

00:52:33:22 It's not going to happen.

00:52:35:06 The burden is still on the person who is saying,

00:52:38:12 "I committed the crime,

00:52:40:03 because of the domestic violence situation."

00:52:43:06

00:52:47:19 LAKETA: That's her preschool picture.

00:52:50:06 I don't know, the first grade, it's age six.

00:52:53:06 Preschool.

00:52:54:12 MARY: Yeah, here's another one from the baby shower.

00:52:56:14

00:52:59:19 Yeah, she was happy to have her child on the way.

00:53:03:02

00:53:09:19 LAKETA: The whole time I'm going through

00:53:11:14 what we both were going through.

00:53:13:13 and I thought it was just me,

00:53:14:12 and I'm tryin' not to say nothing,

00:53:16:18 and started bein' distanced more,

00:53:18:17 and stayin' away from people.

00:53:20:17 She might be limpin' or somethin',

00:53:22:08 but she would laugh it off and just say,

00:53:24:21 "Oh, I just tripped."

00:53:26:11 So we paid no attention.

00:53:28:02

00:53:29:11 She was coming to the rescue for me.

00:53:33:04 Tryin' to help me out.

00:53:34:16 And then I--

00:53:35:19 We didn't even know that she was goin' through

00:53:37:09 her own stuff.

00:53:38:21 So at one time, like-- like, they were fighting

00:53:41:01 and then, like-- like, he was, like, he--

00:53:42:12 He was chokin' her out and, like, and, like,

00:53:43:21 he did this all the time.

00:53:45:04 So like he would choke her out.

00:53:46:13 And then one time, like-- like-- like, he let go of her

00:53:48:19 and she wasn't movin' or nothin'.

00:53:50:14 But basically, I just thought that he killed her when I saw

00:53:53:02 that she wasn't movin' or nothin'.

00:53:54:17

00:53:56:22 He done hit her while drivin', and she drivin'

00:54:00:00 and she getting punched on, gettin' slammed against the--

00:54:02:11 The thing.

00:54:03:11 The steering wheel and stuff.

00:54:05:10 They got records of him throwing women through windows,

00:54:08:18 of him being violent toward women,

00:54:10:10 and they still...

00:54:13:04 ...one time, too.

00:54:15:06

00:54:16:07 I mean, me, your brother, Ja'Sier was there,

00:54:20:15 and he jumped on her, and we all had to jump out.

00:54:24:15

00:54:27:05 We called-- called the police.

00:54:29:10 Nothin', nothin' happened.

00:54:31:01 I think the system is waiting

00:54:33:12 for something like this to happen

00:54:35:01 before they do anything.

00:54:36:23 He didn't have to die.

00:54:38:06 She don't have to be in there if they had done their job.

00:54:41:05 Right.

00:54:42:11 She would call the police.

00:54:44:08 Then he would call her from the jail, threatenin' her,

00:54:48:12 and then that would make her go and bail him out.

00:54:51:16 Then he will come home and beat her again,

00:54:53:16 and then the cycle start all over again.

00:54:56:05 Eventually, he started thinkin' he was God.

00:54:58:10 Sure. Like he was invincible.

00:55:00:09 He was worried about nothin'.

00:55:03:01 I feel like he was wrong for stuff he did,

00:55:06:07 but I also feel like she-- she should've just

00:55:07:21 left him alone, like, a long time ago.

00:55:12:02 So, that way, like, it won't lead up to everything.

00:55:13:23 That's what we were saying.

00:55:15:12 You know, you'd be so in love with that person, it's hard.

00:55:19:07 LAKETA: He was helping with the bills, he was--

00:55:21:05 He was doin' a whole lot of stuff.

00:55:22:13 -Mmhmm. -Yeah.

00:55:23:17 I, mean--

00:55:24:21 That made her fall for him even more

00:55:27:03 and she just slowly ignored the extra stuff that he doin'.

00:55:32:08 I mean, you know, people think it's so easy

00:55:34:20 to walk away from it, but it's not.

00:55:37:21 It's not easy at all.

00:55:39:06 LAKETA: ...you have your heart involved into the relationship and pain.

00:55:43:22 -Mmhmm. -LAKETA: (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

00:55:45:13 I mean, you're quick to say, "Just leave!

00:55:46:16 Leave him alone!"

00:55:47:20 It's not easy. It's not.

00:55:49:20

00:55:51:12 Been there, done that. It's not easy.

00:55:53:12

00:55:54:14 I've been there, too.

00:55:56:02

00:55:57:13 And it make me feel like...

00:55:59:04

00:56:00:12 Phew!

00:56:01:14

00:56:11:06 Is it a family trait?

00:56:14:08 'Cause my mother been through it, too.

00:56:16:23 (SNIFFLES)

00:56:18:03 (§§§)

00:56:28:03

00:56:33:11 MICHELLE: I am standing here as someone who has been deeply affected

00:56:36:18 by this issue.

00:56:38:00 I am the one who has had to pick up

00:56:39:16 the pieces for our family,

00:56:41:09 who is caring for her two young children

00:56:43:19 who have been traumatized,

00:56:45:05 first, by the domestic violence they witnessed in their home,

00:56:48:05 and then further, by the sudden loss

00:56:49:23 of both of their parents overnight.

00:56:52:06 They are both so innately in tune with their mother

00:56:55:03 as children with strong maternal bonds often are,

00:56:57:23 and all of Nikki's fear and anxiety was and continues

00:57:01:06 to be felt through them.

00:57:02:23 They are the ones who are hurt most from the separation.

00:57:06:08 Nikki is not the only woman in this building behind us

00:57:09:12 or in this country who have survived horrific abuse

00:57:12:04 and are now criminalized in a system

00:57:14:06 that can often mirror the coercive control

00:57:16:17 of an abuser.

00:57:18:06 Thank you for using your voices to speak for those women

00:57:20:16 who are silenced, for using your power to join

00:57:23:07 in collective action.

00:57:24:20 Thank you for being here for Nikki.

00:57:27:12 (§§§)

00:57:37:12

00:57:42:23 (PAPER RUSTLING)

00:57:45:21

00:57:56:21 SARAH: Nikki's voice was silenced at trial,

00:57:59:16 which unfortunately is-- is something

00:58:01:14 that-- that we see fairly commonly, um,

00:58:04:13 from domestic violence and sexual assault victims.

00:58:07:11 The criminal justice system is--

00:58:09:20 (SIGHS)

00:58:11:03 Is not-- is not set up for these kinds of cases.

00:58:14:13 It-- it works under these kind of black and white tenets

00:58:18:13 that-- that either somebody is guilty or innocent.

00:58:22:19

00:58:27:18 It is not built to facilitate trauma survivors

00:58:31:05 telling an accurate narrative of what happened to them.

00:58:33:15

00:58:35:10 Almost like stepping back in time sometimes.

00:58:38:18 We tend to use the same kinds of intimidation and fear tactics

00:58:43:05 that victims have experienced from their abusers before,

00:58:45:23 and in this way, they end up getting re-traumatized

00:58:48:18 a second time, and they're shut down

00:58:51:00 and silenced in another way, not just from their abusers,

00:58:54:02 but also by the system that was built to protect them.

00:58:56:23 And that is certainly what happened in Nikki's case.

00:58:59:01

00:59:02:00 We documented, and documented, and, like, created evidence,

00:59:05:13 and all of these things and, like,

00:59:07:08 consulted with the district attorney's office,

00:59:09:13 and, like, sounded all the alarms

00:59:12:09 and the system still didn't work.

00:59:14:15

00:59:16:11 Dutchess County woman convicted of murdering

00:59:18:19 her long-time boyfriend and the father

00:59:20:18 of their two children.

00:59:22:12 NEWS REPORTER 3: Addimando had claimed she acted in self-defense

00:59:25:06 after years of physical and sexual abuse.

00:59:27:22

00:59:31:22 Nicole suffered years of not just abuse,

00:59:34:13 but sexual torture.

00:59:36:07 (SIGHS)

00:59:37:10 She shot her partner in a struggle

00:59:39:14 to defend her own life and her children's lives,

00:59:42:09 separating her from this-- from her children at this point

00:59:45:13 for-- for 25 plus years, potentially.

00:59:51:00 That would be devastating, not only to the kids,

00:59:53:12 but to Nicole as well.

00:59:55:01 We should not be punishing our victims

00:59:59:07 for defending their own lives.

01:00:01:07 (§§§)

01:00:11:07

01:00:15:09 KIM: Uh, we all had police reports, hospital records,

01:00:19:03 witness statements, pictures of violations.

01:00:22:21

01:00:26:02 For God's sake, Nikki's abuser raped her

01:00:29:07 and-- and uploaded it to a porn site.

01:00:33:07 What more evidence do you need?

01:00:36:04

01:00:38:02 Why didn't my hospital records matter?

01:00:41:09 Why didn't Nikki's hospital records matter?

01:00:43:14 Why didn't Tanisha's hospital records matter?

01:00:46:00 Why didn't my police reports matter?

01:00:48:18 Why didn't Nikki's police reports matter?

01:00:51:01 Why didn't Tanisha's police reports matter?

01:00:53:16 Why didn't my scars, bruises, and marks on me matter?

01:00:58:04 Why didn't Nikki's matter? Why didn't Tanisha's matter?

01:01:01:09 Why does it not matter?

01:01:04:19 What happens to us?

01:01:07:00 (§§§)

01:01:17:00

01:01:25:15 KIM: Hi, honey.

01:01:26:11 MICHELLE: (OVERLAPPING SPEECH)

01:01:27:16

01:01:29:20 KIM: Mm.

01:01:31:05

01:01:33:15 I'm sorry.

01:01:35:01

01:01:37:07 But we're gonna see her home, okay?

01:01:39:08 We're not gonna stop.

01:01:41:08 And I know that saying, you know, time, time, time,

01:01:45:16 I hated hearing that, but we just have to convey

01:01:48:04 to her to hold on.

01:01:49:14

01:01:56:08 -Alleged incidents, right? -MICHELLE: Right, right.

01:01:58:17

01:02:01:20 KIM: (SNIFFLES) It's so hard.

01:02:03:06 MICHELLE: I don't feel confident in anything.

01:02:04:11 I know. It-- I mean, it's-- it's at a point

01:02:06:20 where going forward, you hope for the best,

01:02:09:22 expect the worst.

01:02:11:08 Hope for the best, expect the worst.

01:02:14:02 I expected the worst all along and it's worse--

01:02:17:12 -It is. -Than I could've ever imagined.

01:02:19:01 It-- it is. It is.

01:02:20:13 KIM: This judge doesn't-- he doesn't get it.

01:02:22:22 WOMAN 11: He doesn't believe her.

01:02:24:22 He-- he doesn't believe that...

01:02:28:21

01:02:30:06 ...that this happened to her.

01:02:31:21 I mean, when you read-- when you read what he wrote,

01:02:34:09 he says, "There's no way to prove

01:02:37:05 that it was Chris doing this to her

01:02:39:11 and she had the opportunity

01:02:40:23 to safely leave that night." So--

01:02:43:14 KIM: What that shows is a clear disregard,

01:02:47:21 and a clear misunderstanding

01:02:50:18 of what domestic violence is,

01:02:53:09 and the mental, physical, and emotional ramifications

01:02:57:00 of what fear does to you physically.

01:03:00:03 It will lock your muscles

01:03:02:10 and you will not be able to leave.

01:03:04:05

01:03:05:20 You guys, I don't feel like she's gonna do this time.

01:03:09:05 REBECCA: Gotta hold on.

01:03:09:23 This new law is going to work.

01:03:12:16 KIM: Nikki is the freaking poster child

01:03:15:08 for the DVSJA.

01:03:16:14 You know, as sad as that is, it's gonna take some time,

01:03:20:07 but I'm just saying we have to see the light

01:03:23:07 and the light is supporting her through this.

01:03:26:03

01:03:26:21 MICHELLE: Faye just turned 5 on Sunday.

01:03:29:18 I've had more birthdays with her than Nikki ever did,

01:03:32:12 which is really hard.

01:03:33:10 -This was a hard... -REBECCA: Yeah.

01:03:35:08 ...transition.

01:03:36:09 And as we move into the spring,

01:03:38:03 I will be her caregiver longer than Nikki was.

01:03:41:01

01:03:44:01 You know.

01:03:44:19 KIM: We gotta get her home.

01:03:46:10

01:03:48:00 (§§§)

01:03:58:00

01:04:13:17 SENATOR ROXANNE: Today's an important day for the women

01:04:16:08 of the state of New York,

01:04:18:05 particularly women who have suffered

01:04:20:17 through domestic violence.

01:04:23:05 We're asking the judge to take into consideration

01:04:26:23 what they have gone through.

01:04:29:11 I ask all of my colleagues to support me

01:04:32:09 in this legislation.

01:04:34:03 Thank you all. I vote aye.

01:04:36:02 I support the legislation, I vote aye.

01:04:37:19 Mr. President, I'll be supporting it

01:04:38:23 and voting in the affirmative.

01:04:39:22 Thank you.

01:04:40:21 To the women of the state, hallelujah!

01:04:43:15

01:04:45:02 MAN 5: Announce the results.

01:04:47:04 MAN 6: Ayes, 53, nays, 8.

01:04:49:01 The bill is passed.

01:04:50:15 (CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

01:04:53:15

01:05:02:03 KIM: Dear Tanisha,

01:05:03:23 I wanted to write to you and let you know,

01:05:06:10 if you don't already know, our bill passed.

01:05:09:15 Yes, the DVSJA is now a law.

01:05:12:13

01:05:14:14 So now we are figuring out how to implement it.

01:05:18:00 This bill may get you and some others resentencing.

01:05:21:19 That would mean a possible earlier release.

01:05:24:23 I am giving you hope.

01:05:26:05 I know how much hope you have to have in there

01:05:28:21 to survive.

01:05:30:16 I hope this puts a smile on your face.

01:05:33:05

01:05:35:06 I'll be in touch soon. Kim.

01:05:37:18

01:06:22:17 Tanisha, what's the first thing you wanna do when you get home?

01:06:25:11

01:06:29:12 (LAUGHING)

01:06:32:00 KIM: Ja'Sier, what do you wanna do?

01:06:33:18 I'll probably just catch her up with this generation.

01:06:38:19 This generation?

01:06:40:05 JA'SIER: How people are.

01:06:41:20 Because, like, I was, like, I already know that

01:06:43:02 that if you're walkin' or somethin',

01:06:44:15 she'll probably say somethin', and I'll be like,

01:06:46:07 "It's normal now."

01:06:47:16 You know.

01:06:49:01 I don't know, I'm just...

01:06:49:23 And how the relationship is different

01:06:51:10 than when we were growin' up.

01:06:54:05 Between-- oh, like-- like-- like,

01:06:55:12 relationship relationships?

01:06:57:01 Yeah.

01:06:57:23 Oh, yeah, I'll tell her about those.

01:06:59:14 Yeah.

01:07:00:18 (CHUCKLING)

01:07:02:02 Mary, what do you wanna do with Tanisha?

01:07:03:14 What-- what-- what would be like the ideal day

01:07:07:15 she comes home?

01:07:08:20

01:07:10:16 I just wanna give her a big hug,

01:07:12:19 try to catch up on the time we missed.

01:07:16:14 Just try and baby her.

01:07:18:01

01:07:19:12 KIM: You miss your baby?

01:07:21:09 (SOBBING)

01:07:23:21 TANISHA: Mom.

01:07:25:06

01:07:26:19 KIM: It's okay. Take a deep breath.

01:07:29:03

01:07:32:07 I-- I want you guys to have hope, you know,

01:07:35:11 for the DVSJA to work in Tanisha's favor.

01:07:37:23 TANISHA: Did I tell you?

01:07:39:14

01:07:43:23 43?

01:07:45:17

01:07:47:20 What?

01:07:49:15 That's for the DVSJA hearings?

01:07:52:04 -TANISHA: Yes. -Do we need to write letters?

01:07:55:05

01:07:59:20 KIM: Yeah, absolutely.

01:08:01:03 And listen, I got a printer, I got--

01:08:03:00 You know, I got a laptop.

01:08:04:03 We can-- we could even do it here if you want.

01:08:05:23 You guys come over, we'll order some wings or pizza,

01:08:08:20 make some lunch, and um, do letters.

01:08:11:23 You know what I'm saying?

01:08:13:07 That's another reason why I wanted to meet you guys.

01:08:15:00 Not because, you know, if I see y'all in the store,

01:08:17:12 I want to be able to say "hi", right?

01:08:19:11 And not even know who, you know,

01:08:20:22 -you're standing next to, right? -MARY: Mmhmm.

01:08:23:00 Um, but also, so we can rally together

01:08:26:07 and give support for Tanisha and for ourselves.

01:08:30:11

01:08:32:01 (§§§)

01:08:39:19 KIM: I told my boss the other day at work

01:08:42:11 that the bill passed

01:08:44:20 and his first words were,

01:08:46:21 "Well, that was fast."

01:08:48:05

01:08:49:15 And I said, "No, Brian, it wasn't.

01:08:52:03 It took 10 years."

01:08:53:08 (KIM CHUCKLES)

01:08:54:09 Little ones on the stick are 5.

01:08:56:07 -No, the big one. -And the big ones are 15.

01:08:58:12 Aight, give me a big one.

01:09:00:04 You know, because of my job, um,

01:09:02:23 I'm very disappointed that I couldn't be there

01:09:06:04 when the bill passed.

01:09:07:04 Honey.

01:09:08:07 This advocacy is what I do with my extra time.

01:09:11:19 This is what I do in my spare time.

01:09:14:18 (KIM GASPS)

01:09:15:16 Look, what she got me.

01:09:16:18 (LAUGHING)

01:09:18:13

01:09:20:06 Oh, I think I'm in love.

01:09:21:17 Oh my God. This is so freaking cool.

01:09:26:02 What do you think?

01:09:28:10 Pretty wild, right?

01:09:30:17 (LAUGHING)

01:09:32:12

01:09:36:10 (INDISTINCT LYRICS)

01:09:37:22 KIM: I'm so grateful for the funding that I've had over the years.

01:09:40:23 You know, just to be able to go on these trips and--

01:09:43:01 And make this happen.

01:09:44:22 I go to Albany and I'm this rock star advocate.

01:09:47:23 And then I come home and my wife says,

01:09:50:02 "There's dog poop in the bathroom.

01:09:51:10 The garbage needs to go out.

01:09:53:01 I didn't get around to doin' this." You know?

01:09:54:18 So it's like right back to normal life.

01:09:57:02 (VEHICLE HONKING)

01:09:58:12

01:10:04:17 KIM: I get tired, my arthritis hurts,

01:10:07:07 my back hurts, my knee hurts,

01:10:08:16 and there may come a time when I say,

01:10:12:15 "I've had enough.

01:10:14:00 I just can't take the heartache anymore."

01:10:18:04 But right now, I would not have it any other way.

01:10:21:20

01:10:24:08 (DISTORTION)

01:10:26:11 NEWS REPORTER 4: Can I just ask you why you decided on the verdict?

01:10:28:08 No comment.

01:10:29:17 NEWS REPORTER 5: A jury convicted Daduo of manslaughter Monday

01:10:31:23 in the December shooting death of her boyfriend.

01:10:35:03 NEWS REPORTER 6: It was a long day for members of the jury,

01:10:37:12 a long day of deliberations

01:10:39:04 that they don't really wanna to talk about now.

01:10:40:23 They may never talk about it.

01:10:42:18 But they said the same thing that members

01:10:44:02 of the victim's family told us.

01:10:45:19 They're just glad it's all over.

01:10:48:00 I feel good, I'm glad it's all over.

01:10:51:13 And uh, now we can go back and live our lives.

01:10:55:13 And Darnell can rest in peace.

01:10:58:06 (SCOFFS)

01:10:59:17 Really?

01:11:01:00

01:11:03:00 Monsters don't rest in peace

01:11:05:16 and they know he was a monster.

01:11:07:16

01:11:10:09 You know, they learn how to beat 'em somewhere

01:11:14:01 and that probably came from home.

01:11:15:23

01:11:18:21 I feel sad seeing myself like that.

01:11:21:14

01:11:23:05 I didn't know anything about the system.

01:11:26:02 I had never been arrested before.

01:11:28:10 I had never dealt with-- with that type of treatment

01:11:31:10 or, you know, men interrogating you,

01:11:34:10 and just bullying you, and telling you, you know,

01:11:37:12 "What you did and why you did it?"

01:11:39:05 And I'm like, "No, that-- the--" you know, and they're like,

01:11:41:12 "Yeah, sure."

01:11:42:16 And it was just-- it was so much.

01:11:44:08 I didn't know how to process it. I didn't know what to do.

01:11:46:21 Look at me, I was a freaking mess.

01:11:49:10

01:11:51:18 BELL: Stop.

01:11:53:17 (SOBBING)

01:11:54:09

01:11:56:11 (CHUCKLES) You're so stupid.

01:11:58:03 (BELLE CHUCKLING)

01:11:59:05 I was a mess!

01:12:00:23 (SOBBING)

01:12:03:19

01:12:05:00 I hate seeing myself like that.

01:12:07:08

01:12:09:12 I know what I was.

01:12:11:19 I know how broken I was.

01:12:13:14 I see myself like that

01:12:15:09 and I see myself so broken and it just...

01:12:18:02

01:12:19:15 It hurts.

01:12:20:22

01:12:22:18 I think-- I think she's still--

01:12:24:06 She's-- she's a strong person.

01:12:27:03 She couldn't see her strength back then, you know,

01:12:29:23 'cause if she wasn't, she'd be crushed now.

01:12:34:03 She wouldn't have be--

01:12:35:03 she wouldn't have been able to come back.

01:12:37:05

01:12:39:17 You know, the judges,

01:12:41:00 they're supposed to uphold the law,

01:12:44:01 they have opinions, you know, their self-opinions

01:12:48:14 have nothin' to do with him beatin' her five days a week.

01:12:52:18 Nothing.

01:12:54:17 And they just-- just write you off so fast, like that.

01:12:58:09 And-- and-- and they're able to do that for years!

01:13:01:15 You have no recourse.

01:13:03:06

01:13:05:03 You know, they have you in a position

01:13:07:02 and this is when they kill you.

01:13:09:07 They literally snuff the life, just the rest of your life,

01:13:12:14 right out of you.

01:13:13:20

01:13:15:21 And-- and-- and our justice system,

01:13:18:13 the judges, the lawyers, they make these deals

01:13:22:14 on the side of the bench.

01:13:24:18 Like-- and there's no regard

01:13:26:05 for the person they're talkin' about.

01:13:27:21

01:13:29:05 They just wanna get this done and over with.

01:13:31:11 "Hey, that's another mark in my jacket.

01:13:34:16 Bring on the next one."

01:13:36:08

01:13:37:23 Like, everybody that makes a mistake is worthless.

01:13:41:10 And that's not true.

01:13:43:16 That is so far from the truth.

01:13:45:09

01:13:47:07 It-- it's just not true.

01:13:48:23

01:13:51:21 (§§§)

01:14:01:21

01:14:04:05 NEWS READER 3: Nicole Addimando shot and killed

01:14:06:18 her long-time boyfriend.

01:14:07:23 Well, according to her testimony,

01:14:09:17 she did so in self-defense after years of physical

01:14:12:08 and sexual abuse and torture.

01:14:14:18 The jury still convicted Addimando

01:14:16:17 of second-degree murder and gun possession,

01:14:19:00 but advocates are hoping

01:14:20:05 a new law could reduce her sentence.

01:14:23:02 This week, the law will have its first test

01:14:25:12 in Addimando's precedent setting case.

01:14:27:18

01:14:32:22 SARAH: The DVSJA was made for cases like Nicole's.

01:14:37:16 She meets the eligibility criteria

01:14:39:17 more strongly than any domestic violence survivor

01:14:42:19 I have ever worked with.

01:14:43:22

01:14:50:10 She sought help from professionals.

01:14:52:06 She connected with law enforcement.

01:14:54:00 She got pictures of her injuries taken.

01:14:56:15 She documented years of abuse from Chris.

01:15:00:03 She followed all the protocols and--

01:15:02:04 and worked within the systems

01:15:03:17 that we ask survivors to work within.

01:15:05:23 Even with multiple medical and mental health professionals,

01:15:09:17 testifying to the fact that this abuse did occur,

01:15:13:16 her voice still was not heard.

01:15:15:20 She still was not believed.

01:15:17:04

01:15:18:19 NEWS REPORTER 7: Dutchess County Court Judge Edward McLoughlin

01:15:21:03 released his ruling this afternoon

01:15:23:02 that Nicole Addimando will not be considered

01:15:25:19 for a shorter sentence next week

01:15:27:13 under New York's Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act

01:15:31:03 for killing her boyfriend Chris Grover

01:15:33:03 back in 2017.

01:15:34:21 Addimando will be in court next week

01:15:37:01 for her sentencing.

01:15:38:13 She faces 25 years to life.

01:15:40:23

01:15:46:17 Nothing I have heard

01:15:50:00

01:15:51:07 in the last 10 years of my life

01:15:55:10

01:15:56:20 is more ludicrous than Nikki Addimando

01:16:01:05 not qualifying for the DVSJA.

01:16:04:03 I'm sorry, it's the judge's bias.

01:16:07:10 It's the conservative way to victim blame,

01:16:12:16 because that's what you're doing.

01:16:14:13 He told Nikki it's her fault for being raped,

01:16:17:14 it's her fault for being beaten,

01:16:19:12 it's her fault for being mentally

01:16:21:11 and emotionally crushed.

01:16:23:13 It's her fault for being financially controlled.

01:16:26:15

01:16:28:07 And the judges are-- uh, it's like he's scared

01:16:32:04 to implement it.

01:16:33:11 What-- what?

01:16:34:14 The good old boys back in the old judges' lounge

01:16:37:14 are gonna frown upon you for doing something

01:16:40:21 that is fair, and just, and right by this woman?

01:16:44:10

01:16:46:21 She was a victim of domestic violence.

01:16:49:11

01:16:51:02 Her abuser tried to kill her.

01:16:53:17 He raped her. He violated her.

01:16:57:05 He tormented her children.

01:16:59:07

01:17:01:05 And-- and they say that

01:17:04:09 she doesn't qualify for this bill.

01:17:06:19

01:17:12:17 That is so hard.

01:17:14:14 (§§§)

01:17:24:14

01:17:26:08 WOMAN 12: Can I get one?

01:17:27:08 Yeah, just has to be directed that way.

01:17:28:11 (WOMAN LAUGHING)

01:17:29:11

01:17:35:22 WOMAN 13: We are standing outside of the courthouse, uh, where--

01:17:39:07 in which Nicole Addimando's trial took place, uh,

01:17:42:05 a week ago.

01:17:43:05 The judge decided she is not eligible

01:17:45:23 for this new act called

01:17:47:08 "the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act."

01:17:50:00 We kept waiting.

01:17:51:01 We kept sayin', "This is gonna be okay.

01:17:52:15 That, you know, this is what it was written for.

01:17:54:08 This is what it's about."

01:17:56:00 When he said, "No, you can't apply it",

01:17:58:06 then we-- we knew we were in trouble.

01:18:00:14 Like, the-- we all have been talking about coming

01:18:02:14 to a way today.

01:18:04:02 That's what it feels like.

01:18:05:22 She will be sentenced today.

01:18:07:17 New York state has her as a minimum of 15 to 25 years.

01:18:10:22 That is the lightest sentence

01:18:13:01 that she can walk away with today.

01:18:14:19 (§§§)

01:18:24:19

01:18:27:13 WOMAN 14: Uh, she's separated from her children,

01:18:29:14 from her sister, from her father,

01:18:31:07 from her community.

01:18:33:02 I see no good that will come

01:18:36:06 from this lengthy incarceration, which she is facing.

01:18:38:20

01:18:47:14 (CAMERA CLICKING)

01:18:50:14

01:20:22:10 (§§§)

01:20:32:10

01:21:28:03 MAN 7: Everybody, remain seated please.

01:21:29:12

01:21:34:13 (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN BACKGROUND)

01:21:36:05 -...over and over again. -I know, I know.

01:21:38:16

01:22:11:06 KIM: Oh, no.

01:22:12:17

01:22:18:13 (§§§)

01:22:28:13

01:23:25:07 MARY: Come on, come on, I see somebody standing there.

01:23:28:02 (§§§)

01:23:37:04 JA'SIER: There she is.

01:23:38:16 MARY: I thought that was her.

01:23:40:08

01:23:41:08

01:23:44:08 (CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

01:23:47:08 TANISHA: Hello, everyone.

01:23:48:22 Hi, mom!

01:23:50:08 (§§§)

01:24:00:08

01:24:36:18 (TANISHA LAUGHING)

01:24:37:23 KIM: Tell me about seeing Nikki, please.

01:24:39:21 -TANISHA: Um, Nikki? -KIM: Yeah, tell me about--

01:24:41:04 TANISHA: Oh, she cried, she was so, like, happy for me,

01:24:43:12 but I'm definitely gonna try to do whatever I can.

01:24:45:16 -TANISHA: Well, she just-- -KIM: What did she say to you?

01:24:47:04 TANISHA: She just-- she wanna come home, right?

01:24:49:04 -She just-- -KIM: We're work--

01:24:50:10 -We're gonna work on that. -TANISHA: Yeah, I told her.

01:24:51:15 I said, "I'm not givin' up on her."

01:24:53:02

01:25:02:16 (§§§)

01:25:12:16

01:25:42:16 (§§§)

01:25:52:16

01:26:22:16 (§§§)

01:26:32:16

01:27:02:16 (§§§)

01:27:12:16 MAN 1: This is Nicole.