00:00:01.584 --> 00:00:04.796
- [Woman] Inaudible

00:00:04.796 --> 00:00:06.131
- [Man] Talkin'.

00:00:07.674 --> 00:00:09.217
(baby babbles)

00:00:09.843 --> 00:00:11.594
(baby babbles)

00:00:11.594 --> 00:00:14.139
- [Woman] Can you say, "Dad,
can I have that please?"

00:00:15.223 --> 00:00:16.224
Give me that camera.

00:00:16.224 --> 00:00:17.058
- [Man] What's that?

00:00:17.058 --> 00:00:18.018
Who is that?

00:00:18.018 --> 00:00:21.563
(gentle music)

00:00:25.191 --> 00:00:27.902
- We were raised with
technology all around us.

00:00:27.902 --> 00:00:30.447
You know, we adapt to
it, we get used to it.

00:00:30.447 --> 00:00:31.656
(keys tapping)

00:00:31.698 --> 00:00:32.615
- I don't want my kids
to be the guinea pig.

00:00:32.615 --> 00:00:34.868
- I'm not like, every
day asking for this app,

00:00:34.868 --> 00:00:36.578
and now I want this app,
and I want this app,

00:00:36.578 --> 00:00:37.454
and I want this app.

00:00:37.454 --> 00:00:39.956
Yes, I have like four apps
that I've asked my mom for,

00:00:39.956 --> 00:00:42.625
but that's just four.

00:00:44.711 --> 00:00:47.630
- We're in this vast experiment now

00:00:47.630 --> 00:00:48.757
with our own children.

00:00:48.798 --> 00:00:50.592
- I don't want my kids
to be the guinea pig.

00:01:02.687 --> 00:01:05.231
- It's the psychologists,
it's the doctors,

00:01:05.231 --> 00:01:06.900
it's kindergarten teachers,

00:01:06.900 --> 00:01:08.943
it's the elementary school teachers.

00:01:08.943 --> 00:01:11.112
Everyone is saying there's a huge problem.

00:01:12.781 --> 00:01:15.116
- People do ask us, how
will our children cope?

00:01:18.578 --> 00:01:23.124
- We're starting to see that
technology is changing us,

00:01:23.124 --> 00:01:24.501
and there's the fear of,

00:01:24.501 --> 00:01:26.544
we don't know what's going to happen.

00:01:27.587 --> 00:01:30.507
- Technology became so
intertwined with school,

00:01:30.507 --> 00:01:33.885
with entertainment, with parenting itself.

00:01:33.885 --> 00:01:35.303
Certainly with work.

00:01:35.303 --> 00:01:37.931
Throw a pandemic on there, and Zoom,

00:01:37.931 --> 00:01:40.266
and what you have is a situation

00:01:40.266 --> 00:01:44.562
that has sped forward at such a pace

00:01:44.562 --> 00:01:48.525
that we don't know yet
what the impact will be.

00:01:48.525 --> 00:01:51.277
(dramatic music)

00:01:59.828 --> 00:02:04.791
(gentle guitar music)
(birds chirping)

00:02:14.467 --> 00:02:18.513
- So I work at Deaconess
Hospital, downtown Spokane,

00:02:18.513 --> 00:02:22.600
and working full-time as a
nurse is only three days a week

00:02:22.600 --> 00:02:25.562
because I do 12 hour shifts.

00:02:26.688 --> 00:02:30.942
So it's a very ideal
job to have, as a mom.

00:02:30.942 --> 00:02:32.610
So I love that.

00:02:32.610 --> 00:02:35.780
(gentle guitar music)

00:02:37.115 --> 00:02:38.741
We have four kids.

00:02:38.741 --> 00:02:41.494
- [Man] Ah Zion, it's good for ya.

00:02:41.494 --> 00:02:43.496
- Zion, who just turned 11.

00:02:44.664 --> 00:02:46.332
Noah is eight.

00:02:48.418 --> 00:02:51.838
Liam is six, almost seven.

00:02:53.423 --> 00:02:54.549
And Nava is two.

00:02:55.633 --> 00:02:58.261
- Performing.
- Good.

00:02:58.261 --> 00:03:00.180
- Perform, perform?
- There you go.

00:03:01.723 --> 00:03:04.934
Ch, sh, try that again.

00:03:04.934 --> 00:03:08.062
This word does not sound
the way it looks, okay?

00:03:08.062 --> 00:03:08.897
Sit down.

00:03:08.897 --> 00:03:11.691
- What we want for our kids is quality.

00:03:11.691 --> 00:03:14.402
We want them to have
quality relationships,

00:03:14.402 --> 00:03:18.990
and quality education, and
even quality technology.

00:03:18.990 --> 00:03:20.283
We don't wanna take that from them.

00:03:20.283 --> 00:03:23.828
We just want to also show
them what else is out there.

00:03:23.828 --> 00:03:24.662
- [Computer] Fantastic.

00:03:24.662 --> 00:03:26.164
- So we're using a math
program on the computer.

00:03:26.164 --> 00:03:29.792
We're doing a language,
like a foreign language.

00:03:29.792 --> 00:03:31.711
- [Computer] Multiplying
two two-digit numbers.

00:03:31.711 --> 00:03:33.087
- [Nathaniel] Do anything else?

00:03:33.087 --> 00:03:34.589
- Coding and typing.

00:03:34.589 --> 00:03:35.965
- Yeah, he does some coding.

00:03:38.468 --> 00:03:40.637
- I don't know if you
wanna use this or not,

00:03:40.637 --> 00:03:44.933
but I'll just say, I am worn out.

00:03:44.933 --> 00:03:47.143
- [Child] We have the property.

00:03:47.143 --> 00:03:49.562
- Basically every single
day, there's some meltdown

00:03:49.562 --> 00:03:53.691
after the point where we say
okay, give me my phone back.

00:03:53.691 --> 00:03:55.568
Let's put the phone away.

00:03:55.568 --> 00:03:57.153
- No!
- All done.

00:03:57.153 --> 00:03:59.364
Or you're done with this screen time.

00:04:02.742 --> 00:04:04.202
- No, Liam!

00:04:04.202 --> 00:04:08.623
- If we left our phone or
tablet sitting somewhere,

00:04:08.623 --> 00:04:10.875
we'd come back and someone would have it.

00:04:12.794 --> 00:04:14.629
- This is my name.

00:04:14.629 --> 00:04:17.924
- They will somehow look over
my shoulder, or whatever.

00:04:17.924 --> 00:04:19.634
They know my codes.

00:04:20.843 --> 00:04:23.346
- Just play until they
tell us to get off, really.

00:04:24.555 --> 00:04:27.141
'Cause eventually, they realize that-

00:04:27.141 --> 00:04:28.810
- [Noah] We've been on
for such a long time.

00:04:28.810 --> 00:04:31.145
- Yeah, so I like when
they don't realize it.

00:04:31.604 --> 00:04:34.524
- My sister and my brother,
they're in elementary

00:04:34.524 --> 00:04:36.484
and I feel like in elementary,

00:04:36.484 --> 00:04:38.611
I was way different than they were.

00:04:38.611 --> 00:04:41.906
They're like, they're
like us, like teenagers.

00:04:41.906 --> 00:04:44.450
I'm like, you guys are kids, chill.

00:04:44.450 --> 00:04:45.785
They all have their phones.

00:04:46.869 --> 00:04:49.455
♪ They know I'mma push it to the limit ♪

00:04:49.455 --> 00:04:50.581
♪ Strong from the start ♪

00:04:50.581 --> 00:04:52.375
♪ First place to the finish ♪

00:04:52.375 --> 00:04:53.418
♪ To the finish ♪

00:04:53.418 --> 00:04:54.294
♪ They know they grow the same ♪

00:04:54.294 --> 00:04:56.546
- The age barrier where kids get phones

00:04:56.546 --> 00:04:58.339
is like, getting way younger.

00:04:58.339 --> 00:05:01.259
- Used to get toys, and
now they get like, what?

00:05:01.259 --> 00:05:03.052
$1,000 iPads and-

00:05:03.052 --> 00:05:05.221
- I didn't get a phone 'til
I was in like, eighth grade.

00:05:05.221 --> 00:05:06.931
My little brothers, they're
gonna get a phone soon.

00:05:06.931 --> 00:05:08.349
They're gonna be like, fourth grade.

00:05:08.349 --> 00:05:09.517
It's crazy.

00:05:09.517 --> 00:05:11.644
- Like my brothers play Fortnite.

00:05:11.644 --> 00:05:13.354
That's all they wanna
do when they come home,

00:05:13.354 --> 00:05:16.065
but when I came home from
school in elementary,

00:05:16.065 --> 00:05:18.026
all I would wanna do is go
outside and play with my friends.

00:05:18.026 --> 00:05:18.860
- [Girl] Yes!

00:05:18.860 --> 00:05:19.694
- See, that was like the thing.

00:05:19.694 --> 00:05:21.195
- My younger brother, he's 11.

00:05:21.195 --> 00:05:24.949
Obsessed with our Xbox and
it's hard to talk to him

00:05:24.949 --> 00:05:27.618
'cause he'll be so, like,
into this video game

00:05:27.618 --> 00:05:28.828
that you're like hello, hello we're here.

00:05:28.828 --> 00:05:32.248
- My little cousin, she
had access to YouTube

00:05:32.248 --> 00:05:34.083
and so she would watch Nicki Minaj

00:05:34.208 --> 00:05:35.626
videos, which is not appropriate,

00:05:35.626 --> 00:05:37.587
and she started twerking
like at five years old.

00:05:38.463 --> 00:05:38.921
Yeah.

00:05:38.921 --> 00:05:40.673
- If she doesn't get the
phone when she wants it,

00:05:40.673 --> 00:05:43.051
she cries, and she doesn't
stop crying until she gets it.

00:05:43.051 --> 00:05:44.552
♪ In my zone ♪
(baby babbling)

00:05:44.552 --> 00:05:45.928
♪ I'm in my zone, in my zone ♪

00:05:45.928 --> 00:05:47.347
♪ I'm in my zone, my zone ♪

00:05:47.347 --> 00:05:49.807
♪ In my zone, I'm in my zone ♪

00:05:49.807 --> 00:05:52.477
(baby babbling)

00:05:55.646 --> 00:05:59.567
- Parents are going through
a reckoning with themselves

00:05:59.567 --> 00:06:02.195
the same way they are
going through a reckoning

00:06:02.195 --> 00:06:04.030
with what their children are doing.

00:06:04.030 --> 00:06:08.951
We are all grappling with the
hold our devices have on us,

00:06:08.951 --> 00:06:10.870
and how healthy that is.

00:06:10.870 --> 00:06:12.497
Maybe that's given us some insight

00:06:12.497 --> 00:06:14.749
into what's happening with our kids.

00:06:14.749 --> 00:06:19.712
I guess what I fear is that
that hold is so powerful

00:06:20.755 --> 00:06:23.966
that we may have a lot of trouble

00:06:23.966 --> 00:06:27.428
withdrawing from it as parents,

00:06:27.428 --> 00:06:30.390
and helping our children withdraw from it.

00:06:30.390 --> 00:06:34.394
- Planet Earth is not anymore
what it was 50 years ago.

00:06:34.394 --> 00:06:37.105
It's a new planet, with new challenges.

00:06:37.105 --> 00:06:39.315
It has a whole new infrastructure,

00:06:39.315 --> 00:06:41.234
a technological infrastructure.

00:06:41.234 --> 00:06:42.527
And now our kids need to learn

00:06:42.527 --> 00:06:45.279
how to navigate in that
world, that's true.

00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:46.864
But they will learn it better

00:06:46.864 --> 00:06:50.993
when they learn it in sync
with their inner development.

00:06:50.993 --> 00:06:51.035
and how can I support this
level of development the best?

00:06:52.370 --> 00:06:56.666
And when we give children too
early too much technology,

00:06:57.708 --> 00:06:59.419
they are not yet in a space

00:06:59.419 --> 00:07:01.045
where they can really handle this,

00:07:01.045 --> 00:07:03.673
even if they sometimes look
more mature than they are,

00:07:03.673 --> 00:07:05.800
the nervous system is very fragile.

00:07:06.801 --> 00:07:08.928
And there's a natural curiosity,

00:07:08.928 --> 00:07:13.933
but there's a responsibility
of the parent to adapt it

00:07:14.016 --> 00:07:16.102
to the age of the child.

00:07:16.102 --> 00:07:18.062
And because we are the first generations

00:07:18.062 --> 00:07:19.981
that have so much technology,

00:07:19.981 --> 00:07:22.400
we need to learn how that works.

00:07:22.400 --> 00:07:24.444
We don't have much experience with this.

00:07:24.444 --> 00:07:26.446
You know, three generations ago,

00:07:26.446 --> 00:07:28.406
people weren't running
around with smartphones.

00:07:32.577 --> 00:07:33.786
- She was the first one in the house

00:07:33.786 --> 00:07:35.913
to have a tablet, at age two

00:07:36.789 --> 00:07:40.168
because I felt this is a learning tool,

00:07:40.168 --> 00:07:42.837
and it will be beneficial, right?

00:07:42.837 --> 00:07:45.923
(gentle piano music)

00:07:47.550 --> 00:07:50.344
Was really geared towards education,

00:07:50.344 --> 00:07:52.263
and then keeping the child safe.

00:07:52.263 --> 00:07:54.432
And she started reading
when she was three.

00:07:57.143 --> 00:07:59.937
- And then I got a watch.

00:07:59.937 --> 00:08:04.859
It was a smartwatch, and
so I had that for a while.

00:08:04.859 --> 00:08:06.152
I got it wet.

00:08:06.152 --> 00:08:08.863
Then I got my first phone,

00:08:08.863 --> 00:08:11.866
and then at 10 I got my next phone.

00:08:11.866 --> 00:08:14.327
That phone was like, the best.

00:08:14.327 --> 00:08:17.788
This year, I got my latest
phone, oh and my computer.

00:08:17.788 --> 00:08:18.956
I totally forgot about my computer.

00:08:18.956 --> 00:08:20.041
- She uses for school.

00:08:20.041 --> 00:08:22.460
- Yeah, that's what,
seven different devices?

00:08:22.460 --> 00:08:24.086
Eight, eight, that's eight.

00:08:24.086 --> 00:08:25.713
That was eight different things.

00:08:27.298 --> 00:08:29.634
Was that the day where
we had to stay home?

00:08:29.634 --> 00:08:30.468
Was that the day?

00:08:30.468 --> 00:08:30.510
- We didn't grow up with
devices rearing our children.

00:08:30.510 --> 00:08:34.430
- There is a combination
of guilt and shame

00:08:34.430 --> 00:08:37.517
that many parents feel a lot

00:08:37.517 --> 00:08:40.895
when they see their kids on devices.

00:08:40.895 --> 00:08:45.900
We don't know yet what
exactly the impact will be.

00:08:46.275 --> 00:08:49.320
We are grappling with significant,

00:08:49.320 --> 00:08:53.407
almost overwhelming changes to
our culture and how we live,

00:08:53.407 --> 00:08:56.994
without understanding the
core underlying science of it.

00:08:56.994 --> 00:08:59.580
(gentle music)

00:09:07.129 --> 00:09:11.384
- In here, there is no
CPU, neither a hard drive.

00:09:11.384 --> 00:09:16.389
There are about 100 billion
neurons, nerve cells,

00:09:16.806 --> 00:09:19.559
and they have up to
10,000 connections each.

00:09:19.559 --> 00:09:23.104
That gives you one million
billion connections,

00:09:23.104 --> 00:09:26.065
and they change whenever
you use your brain.

00:09:30.069 --> 00:09:33.614
Like a building scenery,
something is torn down, built up,

00:09:33.614 --> 00:09:34.699
and another thing torn down,

00:09:34.699 --> 00:09:37.493
so there is constantly stuff going on.

00:09:41.038 --> 00:09:43.165
And what determines what goes on

00:09:43.165 --> 00:09:44.834
is what the brain is digesting.

00:09:44.834 --> 00:09:47.587
That's the information it is processing.

00:09:47.587 --> 00:09:50.423
- [Girls] One, two, three!

00:09:50.423 --> 00:09:53.092
(both shouting)

00:09:57.096 --> 00:10:00.474
- Every hour, 24 hours a
day, seven days a week,

00:10:00.474 --> 00:10:03.060
the brain is constantly
making connections.

00:10:03.060 --> 00:10:06.897
It's wiring itself based on
experiences that a child has.

00:10:06.897 --> 00:10:09.525
(people laughing)

00:10:09.525 --> 00:10:12.945
Their little brains are
literally on fire trying to build

00:10:12.945 --> 00:10:16.032
a representation of the world
that they've experienced.

00:10:16.032 --> 00:10:19.076
(gentle piano music)

00:10:22.538 --> 00:10:25.875
- Parents essentially assume
we see the same thing,

00:10:25.875 --> 00:10:29.629
so we must be having the same
reactions to what we see,

00:10:29.629 --> 00:10:31.797
but nothing could be more wrong

00:10:32.715 --> 00:10:36.385
when we look at grownup
people, and small children.

00:10:37.928 --> 00:10:40.848
Because the way small
children see the world

00:10:40.848 --> 00:10:42.350
is so different.

00:10:44.518 --> 00:10:48.689
It's very difficult to imagine
what would this look like,

00:10:48.689 --> 00:10:50.650
what would this experience be like

00:10:50.650 --> 00:10:54.111
if I was a baby of six
months, or a toddler,

00:10:54.111 --> 00:10:56.030
or a five year old?

00:10:59.450 --> 00:11:02.578
- [Manfred] Small children have
to learn how to talk first.

00:11:02.578 --> 00:11:03.621
- Mama.

00:11:03.621 --> 00:11:06.040
- And they also learn how to think first.

00:11:06.040 --> 00:11:08.626
And they have to learn sensory input,

00:11:08.626 --> 00:11:10.127
congruent sensory inputs.

00:11:10.127 --> 00:11:12.713
What you can hear, you want
to see, you want to touch,

00:11:12.713 --> 00:11:15.216
you want to smell, and the
brain does the connections

00:11:15.216 --> 00:11:17.968
and understands what it is dealing with.

00:11:17.968 --> 00:11:20.721
(kids chattering)

00:11:20.721 --> 00:11:23.349
So understanding what a
chair is, what a spoon is,

00:11:23.349 --> 00:11:26.977
and what a knife is needs,
you know, handling it.

00:11:26.977 --> 00:11:28.312
- [Kid] This is?

00:11:31.899 --> 00:11:35.236
- Children sometimes take a wooden thing,

00:11:35.236 --> 00:11:38.614
and they knock it to
release the sound of it

00:11:38.614 --> 00:11:41.617
because in the sound,
something of the essence

00:11:41.617 --> 00:11:46.205
of what they're, you know,
knocking with is released.

00:11:46.205 --> 00:11:49.500
But if we look at the digital age,

00:11:49.500 --> 00:11:52.461
they don't see how things come about.

00:11:52.461 --> 00:11:56.382
They push a button, and
something, an image appears.

00:11:56.382 --> 00:12:01.387
There's no way for them to
follow all the in between steps.

00:12:04.056 --> 00:12:07.393
The more information
you get from the screen,

00:12:07.393 --> 00:12:09.186
the less you need to do in your brain.

00:12:09.186 --> 00:12:11.814
But it's what you do in your
brain that changes your brain.

00:12:18.738 --> 00:12:19.989
- Okay so I'm Pierre Laurent.

00:12:19.989 --> 00:12:21.407
I'm the school administrator

00:12:21.407 --> 00:12:23.200
of the Waldorf School of the Peninsula.

00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:25.786
(bell ringing)

00:12:28.372 --> 00:12:29.582
The reputation of the school

00:12:29.582 --> 00:12:32.334
is that we are sort of
anti-tech, in a sense.

00:12:32.334 --> 00:12:33.836
That we don't use technology.

00:12:33.836 --> 00:12:36.464
That we sort of poo-poo technology.

00:12:36.589 --> 00:12:39.717
- We have a school that is
rejecting technology completely

00:12:39.717 --> 00:12:41.469
to tell you about, and
you might be surprised

00:12:41.469 --> 00:12:44.263
by where it is, and who the students are.

00:12:44.263 --> 00:12:46.474
- We found a school that's
actually gone retro,

00:12:46.474 --> 00:12:47.433
banning computers.

00:12:47.433 --> 00:12:49.810
- Some of the tech world's biggest gurus

00:12:49.810 --> 00:12:51.812
are actually sending their own children

00:12:51.812 --> 00:12:53.522
to schools without a single computer.

00:12:53.522 --> 00:12:57.401
- [Reporter] Students use
actual paper and pencils.

00:12:57.401 --> 00:13:00.446
- We've done something like
30 different press interviews

00:13:00.446 --> 00:13:01.822
around the world.

00:13:01.822 --> 00:13:04.825
(speaking foreign language)

00:13:04.825 --> 00:13:06.994
When you have them work on the screen-

00:13:06.994 --> 00:13:10.122
- What are Waldorf's guidelines
regarding technology?

00:13:10.122 --> 00:13:12.917
- We don't use technology
in the classroom.

00:13:12.917 --> 00:13:14.293
- [Pierre] Published in the front page

00:13:14.293 --> 00:13:16.086
of the New York Times.

00:13:16.086 --> 00:13:20.382
- People in Silicon
Valley clearly understood

00:13:20.382 --> 00:13:23.177
that there is a very powerful impact

00:13:23.177 --> 00:13:25.429
from heavy use of our devices.

00:13:25.429 --> 00:13:27.598
And I think since that story came out,

00:13:27.598 --> 00:13:30.976
the conversation's arguably
just gotten more complicated.

00:13:30.976 --> 00:13:33.813
(kids chattering)

00:13:36.023 --> 00:13:37.942
- It is a privilege to
be able to send your kid

00:13:37.942 --> 00:13:41.153
to a school that says look, we
don't wanna have technology.

00:13:41.153 --> 00:13:45.407
That's not the student body
who I get to work with.

00:13:45.407 --> 00:13:46.951
- What type of phrase is this?

00:13:48.786 --> 00:13:50.412
- Our families, you know,

00:13:50.412 --> 00:13:53.290
they make barely minimum wage sometimes.

00:13:53.290 --> 00:13:55.000
- My mom and me wouldn't have been able

00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:58.921
to afford my own Chromebook,
any type of laptop,

00:13:58.921 --> 00:14:02.383
and the school being able to say hey,

00:14:02.383 --> 00:14:03.801
we're gonna give you a Chromebook

00:14:03.801 --> 00:14:05.803
so that you can do your work at home.

00:14:05.803 --> 00:14:08.264
- My parents don't really,
they didn't go to school.

00:14:08.264 --> 00:14:10.182
So I don't have anyone to really help me,

00:14:10.182 --> 00:14:12.518
and then I can just go on my Chromebook

00:14:12.518 --> 00:14:14.436
and I can just email my teacher,

00:14:14.436 --> 00:14:15.771
and I'll get a response back.

00:14:15.771 --> 00:14:16.856
- You guys know the deal.

00:14:16.856 --> 00:14:19.650
We are gonna be doing a couple cahoots-

00:14:19.650 --> 00:14:23.821
- We realize that they
are at a disadvantage

00:14:23.821 --> 00:14:26.156
just because of their
socioeconomic standing,

00:14:26.156 --> 00:14:29.285
and so by providing access
to computers for them,

00:14:29.285 --> 00:14:31.412
we are giving them the ability

00:14:31.412 --> 00:14:32.538
so that when they do go to college,

00:14:32.538 --> 00:14:34.456
they're gonna know how to
write an essay on a computer.

00:14:34.456 --> 00:14:36.125
I mean, that's really what our hopes are

00:14:36.125 --> 00:14:39.712
is that they can use
basic Excel spreadsheets

00:14:39.712 --> 00:14:40.671
and it won't be the first time

00:14:40.671 --> 00:14:42.339
that they have seen these things.

00:14:43.382 --> 00:14:45.593
- Choose the sentence
that is written correctly.

00:14:45.593 --> 00:14:47.553
I never drive to school blank.

00:14:47.553 --> 00:14:49.263
I sometimes drive my mom to work.

00:14:49.263 --> 00:14:50.556
You have 20 seconds.

00:14:50.556 --> 00:14:55.561
(upbeat music)
(kids chattering)

00:14:58.230 --> 00:14:59.273
- Yes!

00:14:59.273 --> 00:15:02.401
- There has to be a semicolon
for it like we have here.

00:15:02.401 --> 00:15:03.861
This right here, what is this-

00:15:03.861 --> 00:15:05.070
- I don't think we realized

00:15:05.070 --> 00:15:07.573
how truly distracting these devices were.

00:15:07.573 --> 00:15:10.534
Eh, teenagers don't have
a lot of self-control.

00:15:10.534 --> 00:15:12.578
♪ Flex, glow ♪

00:15:12.578 --> 00:15:14.288
♪ Flex bright glow ♪

00:15:14.288 --> 00:15:15.873
♪ Flex, glow ♪

00:15:15.873 --> 00:15:18.292
- People tend to wanna flex,

00:15:18.292 --> 00:15:22.212
and like show the best part of their lives

00:15:22.212 --> 00:15:23.797
and they want to just show the world

00:15:23.797 --> 00:15:27.051
that they're oh, they're
this different person.

00:15:27.051 --> 00:15:30.721
They're rich, they have fun
a lot, they travel a lot.

00:15:30.721 --> 00:15:33.349
They're just like, have a lot of friends.

00:15:33.349 --> 00:15:35.935
♪ Not a model, but I'm everyone's type ♪

00:15:35.935 --> 00:15:38.228
♪ And I'm feelin' like tonight ♪

00:15:38.228 --> 00:15:41.440
- Kids sending nude photos online.

00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:44.234
Kids bullying each other,
that kind of stuff,

00:15:44.234 --> 00:15:46.236
and when they see the
repercussions from it,

00:15:46.236 --> 00:15:48.364
or their photo ends up all over the place,

00:15:48.364 --> 00:15:50.074
they're like ooh, I should've

00:15:50.074 --> 00:15:51.867
thought about that a little bit more.

00:15:51.867 --> 00:15:53.535
♪ Hustle in they life ♪

00:15:53.535 --> 00:15:56.330
♪ Little freak on the sky ♪

00:15:56.330 --> 00:15:57.414
- This is a new realm

00:15:57.414 --> 00:15:59.667
that they've entered in their development.

00:15:59.667 --> 00:16:03.879
It's exciting, and it's
challenging for those around them.

00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:05.422
All of these media devices,

00:16:05.422 --> 00:16:08.050
and all of these social networking apps

00:16:08.050 --> 00:16:12.596
coming at a time when
they are just learning

00:16:12.596 --> 00:16:13.973
how to communicate.

00:16:13.973 --> 00:16:15.307
♪ Glow, flex ♪

00:16:15.307 --> 00:16:17.351
- They are moving away from their parents,

00:16:17.351 --> 00:16:20.354
and they're seeking peer relationships.

00:16:20.354 --> 00:16:21.647
♪ Flex ♪

00:16:21.647 --> 00:16:24.066
- Yes, you need this because
it's extremely important

00:16:24.066 --> 00:16:25.275
for your future, and yet,

00:16:25.275 --> 00:16:27.945
how do we get you to learn
how to balance yourself

00:16:27.945 --> 00:16:29.947
and how to close the computer?

00:16:29.947 --> 00:16:32.199
How to put your cellphone
away in important times,

00:16:32.199 --> 00:16:33.909
and that's something we
were really struggling with.

00:16:33.909 --> 00:16:33.993
- I think it's crucial that we find ways

00:16:34.076 --> 00:16:37.204
- I think it's crucial that we find ways

00:16:37.204 --> 00:16:41.583
that they learn to use
the technology in a way

00:16:41.583 --> 00:16:43.961
which not only lets them handle it,

00:16:43.961 --> 00:16:48.257
but which gives them the
capability of actually reflecting,

00:16:48.257 --> 00:16:50.509
what does this do to me?

00:16:50.509 --> 00:16:53.053
And what does this do to
the world when I use it?

00:16:53.053 --> 00:16:54.638
It's just a matter of maturity.

00:16:55.347 --> 00:16:55.431
what I give out as
recommendations to other parents.

00:16:57.474 --> 00:16:58.976
We want to be able to deal

00:16:58.976 --> 00:17:02.479
with the impact of technologies
on childrens' lives

00:17:02.479 --> 00:17:05.816
in terms of health,
ability to concentrate,

00:17:05.816 --> 00:17:08.610
creativity, and critical thinking.

00:17:10.029 --> 00:17:11.572
Let us look at this scenario

00:17:11.572 --> 00:17:14.283
and not just say no, I don't
like it, because it's a screen.

00:17:14.283 --> 00:17:17.619
Or I don't like it because
I'm inherently technophobic.

00:17:17.745 --> 00:17:19.163
- I very much want my children

00:17:19.163 --> 00:17:20.706
to think critically about technology.

00:17:20.706 --> 00:17:23.208
I want them to be able to use it

00:17:23.208 --> 00:17:26.253
as masters, not as servants.

00:17:26.253 --> 00:17:28.839
(gentle music)

00:17:30.549 --> 00:17:32.593
Like what will they be doing in 30 years?

00:17:33.927 --> 00:17:36.013
What will the world be like in 30 years?

00:17:36.013 --> 00:17:38.015
And I have no idea what it will be like.

00:17:38.974 --> 00:17:42.019
I anticipate certain trends in technology

00:17:42.019 --> 00:17:42.853
will continue forward,

00:17:42.853 --> 00:17:46.774
and it will be very
automated in weird ways.

00:17:48.150 --> 00:17:51.361
And there will be lots
of difficult decisions

00:17:51.361 --> 00:17:54.073
and judgments they need to
make in a world like that.

00:17:55.616 --> 00:17:58.827
So what's the next level, right?

00:17:58.827 --> 00:18:01.080
Are they able to be
creative in that world?

00:18:01.080 --> 00:18:02.623
Are they able to have a job

00:18:02.623 --> 00:18:04.374
where they are setting the direction

00:18:04.374 --> 00:18:06.001
rather than following it?

00:18:10.547 --> 00:18:13.425
The thing we want out of our children

00:18:13.425 --> 00:18:16.095
is to be able to make strong judgments

00:18:16.095 --> 00:18:17.221
about the world, right?

00:18:17.221 --> 00:18:21.809
To be able to have an ethical
interaction with people,

00:18:21.809 --> 00:18:24.269
and their environment.

00:18:24.269 --> 00:18:27.314
How do you learn that from
a piece of technology?

00:18:27.314 --> 00:18:28.440
- Listen to this.

00:18:28.440 --> 00:18:32.111
Quote, "I am convinced the
devil lies in our phones."

00:18:32.111 --> 00:18:33.028
- Nice.

00:18:33.028 --> 00:18:35.030
- I mean, it's meant to scare people.

00:18:35.030 --> 00:18:37.366
Oh my god, what if actually
my kid's not getting smarter

00:18:37.366 --> 00:18:38.575
and they're getting dumber?

00:18:38.575 --> 00:18:40.077
This is something that is happening

00:18:40.077 --> 00:18:43.413
with the topic of digital literacy,

00:18:43.413 --> 00:18:44.998
and people are looking to figure out

00:18:44.998 --> 00:18:47.209
who should have screens and when.

00:18:47.209 --> 00:18:49.670
When are they helpful
for learning, and not?

00:18:49.670 --> 00:18:49.711
(kids chattering)

00:18:49.878 --> 00:18:51.630
If we're not gonna use tech in the way

00:18:51.630 --> 00:18:55.676
that we've been using it
now, how are we gonna use it?

00:18:55.676 --> 00:18:57.261
And if we're not gonna design tech

00:18:57.261 --> 00:18:59.555
in the way that we're designing it now,

00:18:59.555 --> 00:19:00.931
how are we gonna design it?

00:19:02.141 --> 00:19:06.311
You see, these are questions
that you are needed for.

00:19:06.311 --> 00:19:10.691
- Maybe it seems really
obvious, to Finn, or to me,

00:19:10.691 --> 00:19:12.776
or to anybody what the rules are,

00:19:12.776 --> 00:19:16.196
but there's no actual
rule book, so how do we?

00:19:16.196 --> 00:19:17.114
(kids chattering)

00:19:17.114 --> 00:19:17.447
and as we learn not
just to have an opinion

00:19:17.447 --> 00:19:18.615
- It feels like your only option

00:19:18.615 --> 00:19:21.743
is to just go on your
phone at times, you know?

00:19:21.743 --> 00:19:23.912
You feel like you have
nothing better to do,

00:19:23.912 --> 00:19:25.414
other than go on your phone.

00:19:25.414 --> 00:19:29.334
It's just, something
that you've adapted to

00:19:29.334 --> 00:19:30.627
and you can't really get away from it.

00:19:30.627 --> 00:19:32.421
It's like an addiction.

00:19:32.421 --> 00:19:33.630
- You get on a device, it makes you

00:19:33.630 --> 00:19:35.549
wanna get on another device,

00:19:35.549 --> 00:19:36.842
'cause you're tired of that device,

00:19:36.842 --> 00:19:40.762
or you wanna stay on the
device because it's like,

00:19:40.762 --> 00:19:42.139
dragging you in.

00:19:42.139 --> 00:19:46.894
It's like, something's
pulling you into the computer

00:19:46.894 --> 00:19:49.646
telling you to do
something on this device.

00:19:49.646 --> 00:19:51.815
I don't care what you
do, just do something.

00:19:51.815 --> 00:19:54.902
(gentle piano music)

00:19:57.487 --> 00:19:59.907
- Kids use technology of any sort

00:19:59.907 --> 00:20:02.326
as a means of self-regulation.

00:20:02.326 --> 00:20:05.370
Self-regulation is when
I can control myself.

00:20:05.370 --> 00:20:07.623
It doesn't come by way of the technology.

00:20:07.623 --> 00:20:10.375
And this is again what
leads to what we know

00:20:10.375 --> 00:20:13.253
is gonna be some degree of addiction.

00:20:13.253 --> 00:20:15.756
That kids say, I need the technology

00:20:15.756 --> 00:20:17.591
in order to soothe myself.

00:20:17.591 --> 00:20:20.427
- Alcohol we know interferes
with brain development,

00:20:20.427 --> 00:20:22.846
and alcohol is addictive.

00:20:22.846 --> 00:20:25.390
Smartphones interfere with development,

00:20:25.390 --> 00:20:27.226
and smartphones are addictive.

00:20:27.226 --> 00:20:28.227
In Germany, you have a lot of people

00:20:28.227 --> 00:20:31.313
saying we have to do
smartphone competency training

00:20:31.313 --> 00:20:33.357
in kindergarten, or in elementary school.

00:20:33.357 --> 00:20:35.734
Well, we Germans drink a
lot of beer, as you know,

00:20:35.734 --> 00:20:38.111
but do we do alcohol competency training

00:20:38.111 --> 00:20:39.905
because alcohol is part of our culture,

00:20:39.905 --> 00:20:42.115
so we need to teach the
kids as early as possible

00:20:42.115 --> 00:20:44.243
to make them good beer
brewers and wine makers?

00:20:44.243 --> 00:20:45.285
They have to deal with this,

00:20:45.285 --> 00:20:46.703
and they have to learn about it?

00:20:46.703 --> 00:20:47.537
No!

00:20:47.537 --> 00:20:51.458
We protect them from beer and
wine until they are 16 or 18.

00:20:54.294 --> 00:20:59.299
- And we know today how many
young people are depressed.

00:20:59.549 --> 00:21:01.677
I mean, depression is the highest

00:21:01.677 --> 00:21:03.720
on the list of mental health.

00:21:05.597 --> 00:21:09.226
We are now talking about
an epidemic of loneliness.

00:21:10.185 --> 00:21:11.395
To have that together

00:21:11.395 --> 00:21:13.814
with all the social networking we can do

00:21:13.814 --> 00:21:16.566
is really an expression of the big divide

00:21:16.566 --> 00:21:18.026
in which we are living.

00:21:18.026 --> 00:21:20.612
(somber music)

00:21:22.864 --> 00:21:25.242
- We used to have family
dinners, like all of us

00:21:25.242 --> 00:21:26.201
would sit around the table.

00:21:26.201 --> 00:21:28.161
Our parents would be
like, how was your day?

00:21:28.161 --> 00:21:31.832
And I think in the past two, three years

00:21:31.832 --> 00:21:35.002
it's been more of, we've had
like I'll sit at the table

00:21:35.002 --> 00:21:38.255
and everybody else is eating
dinner in front of the TV.

00:21:38.255 --> 00:21:42.217
- I feel like we're losing a
bond that's shared between us

00:21:42.217 --> 00:21:44.886
when we're constantly on our screens.

00:21:45.846 --> 00:21:47.514
- Sometimes you watch videos,

00:21:47.514 --> 00:21:52.394
and then you see like what a
family's supposed to look like,

00:21:52.394 --> 00:21:54.021
you know, where everyone's
talking to each other

00:21:54.021 --> 00:21:54.855
and you're just like oh,

00:21:54.855 --> 00:21:57.357
is that what I'm supposed to do with them?

00:21:57.357 --> 00:21:58.275
How do you do that?

00:21:58.275 --> 00:22:00.569
Why don't I have that?

00:22:00.569 --> 00:22:01.737
You know?

00:22:01.737 --> 00:22:02.487
Yeah.

00:22:03.322 --> 00:22:06.158
- We ultimately want parents
to be able to provide

00:22:06.158 --> 00:22:10.162
for their children, not just
financially, but emotionally.

00:22:10.162 --> 00:22:12.372
We have a lot of people
walking around saying,

00:22:12.372 --> 00:22:14.374
oh, I always had clothes on my back,

00:22:14.374 --> 00:22:19.379
but my parent was absent in a
mental way, or emotional way.

00:22:19.921 --> 00:22:20.756
We know people like that

00:22:20.756 --> 00:22:23.592
who are in affluent, middle class homes.

00:22:23.592 --> 00:22:27.429
So, if we teach parents how to be present

00:22:27.429 --> 00:22:29.056
in their childrens' lives,

00:22:29.056 --> 00:22:31.892
whether they have money,
or they don't have money,

00:22:31.892 --> 00:22:33.810
then I think that will stop

00:22:33.810 --> 00:22:36.313
a lot of the trauma
that we're encountering.

00:22:36.313 --> 00:22:37.397
- Because many people think,

00:22:37.397 --> 00:22:39.066
oh the trauma is the car accident

00:22:39.066 --> 00:22:41.985
or is the abuse in the
family, or something.

00:22:41.985 --> 00:22:45.781
But no, the trauma is what happens in us

00:22:45.781 --> 00:22:50.077
when our nervous system
cannot handle an experience,

00:22:50.077 --> 00:22:51.661
because it's too much.

00:22:51.661 --> 00:22:53.246
And the parents are not available,

00:22:53.246 --> 00:22:55.832
and the parents are too busy working.

00:22:55.832 --> 00:22:59.669
And the child is longing for
that attachment connection,

00:22:59.669 --> 00:23:00.629
but parents are not available

00:23:00.629 --> 00:23:02.172
and they all the time on the phone,

00:23:02.172 --> 00:23:03.590
they all the time busy,

00:23:03.590 --> 00:23:05.842
and the child needs,

00:23:05.842 --> 00:23:08.136
but we don't notice it.

00:23:09.179 --> 00:23:13.350
So, they need the nervous
system of the parents to relax

00:23:14.393 --> 00:23:17.521
until that function can be taken over

00:23:17.521 --> 00:23:19.856
by the child's nervous system alone.

00:23:19.856 --> 00:23:22.526
And so we see it's actually
not about technology.

00:23:22.526 --> 00:23:26.655
It's about trauma partnering
up with technology.

00:23:26.655 --> 00:23:27.197
(soothing music)

00:23:32.994 --> 00:23:34.913
- The implications of this

00:23:34.913 --> 00:23:38.750
is that we've got to go and
address the root problem.

00:23:38.750 --> 00:23:41.878
Very simply, we need to
win our children back.

00:23:41.878 --> 00:23:43.046
We need to get 'em back.

00:23:43.046 --> 00:23:45.215
(gentle music)

00:23:49.386 --> 00:23:51.471
- Who is responsible
for changing a culture

00:23:51.471 --> 00:23:56.226
that we see as having negative
impacts on human development?

00:23:56.226 --> 00:23:58.103
Of course, positive things as well,

00:23:58.103 --> 00:23:59.229
but who's responsible then

00:23:59.229 --> 00:24:01.982
for taking those no-negative
impacts and changing them?

00:24:07.028 --> 00:24:09.239
- I often ask myself, you know,

00:24:09.239 --> 00:24:13.452
is it my boss's responsibility
to change this thing?

00:24:13.452 --> 00:24:15.328
Is it my boss's boss's responsibility,

00:24:15.328 --> 00:24:17.747
is it the CEO's responsibility?

00:24:17.747 --> 00:24:22.502
I'm sure there is a role that
each one of them has in that,

00:24:22.502 --> 00:24:26.756
but the conclusion I've come
to is I need to be the person

00:24:26.756 --> 00:24:29.301
that takes the responsibilities
for what I'm doing.

00:24:29.301 --> 00:24:31.928
I need to be the one to say

00:24:31.928 --> 00:24:33.472
I don't want this for my children.

00:24:33.472 --> 00:24:36.266
I don't want this for myself.

00:24:39.728 --> 00:24:43.315
- As parents, we have to
ask what is being lost

00:24:43.315 --> 00:24:45.567
and what is being gained?

00:24:45.567 --> 00:24:50.572
And to wake up, not be lulled
by what is being sold to us.

00:24:52.616 --> 00:24:54.951
And that is how we take ourselves

00:24:54.951 --> 00:24:56.578
out of the place of being victim,

00:24:56.578 --> 00:25:00.457
and into personal choice and empowerment.

00:25:00.457 --> 00:25:03.168
- I'm responsible for this person.

00:25:03.168 --> 00:25:05.086
I'm responsible for what happens to her,

00:25:05.086 --> 00:25:07.589
and so I want to be able
to look back and say

00:25:07.589 --> 00:25:10.383
I did the best that I could do,

00:25:10.383 --> 00:25:14.346
and not say the TV did the
best that it could do, right?

00:25:16.890 --> 00:25:18.517
- This is not a PC argument.

00:25:18.517 --> 00:25:21.895
This is a science-based argument.

00:25:21.895 --> 00:25:25.440
What is the risk of my
kid in this environment?

00:25:27.400 --> 00:25:30.445
We no longer can conceive
that there is a silver bullet.

00:25:32.280 --> 00:25:34.699
Your child's relationship to it

00:25:34.699 --> 00:25:36.952
is your responsibility to understand.

00:25:38.537 --> 00:25:41.081
(gentle music)

00:25:52.133 --> 00:25:54.970
(camera clicking)

00:25:58.473 --> 00:26:00.100
- My hope for my children

00:26:00.100 --> 00:26:04.854
is that they are engaged,
and present in the world,

00:26:04.854 --> 00:26:08.525
and that they are empowered
by, and not distracted by,

00:26:09.442 --> 00:26:11.987
or enslaved by technology.

00:26:11.987 --> 00:26:13.863
And I've realized that a lot of that

00:26:13.863 --> 00:26:16.783
comes down to the way that
I interact with technology,

00:26:16.783 --> 00:26:19.160
and the way I model that for them.

00:26:19.160 --> 00:26:21.913
(birds chirping)

00:26:21.913 --> 00:26:23.623
- To shut down technology,

00:26:23.623 --> 00:26:24.624
and say no it's bad.

00:26:24.624 --> 00:26:26.501
Technology is neither good nor bad.

00:26:26.501 --> 00:26:31.131
Technology is, and humans
have 360 degree of ways

00:26:31.131 --> 00:26:32.382
of dealing with it,

00:26:32.382 --> 00:26:34.175
and we all know that we regulate

00:26:34.175 --> 00:26:37.470
children's drive to run
outside on the street,

00:26:37.470 --> 00:26:40.765
and sometimes we have to say no, no,

00:26:40.765 --> 00:26:42.309
this is not the right thing to do.

00:26:42.309 --> 00:26:44.269
That's the responsibility,

00:26:44.269 --> 00:26:47.606
the ability to respond of a parent.

00:26:49.899 --> 00:26:52.068
- Sometimes it's just simple things,

00:26:52.068 --> 00:26:54.571
like having times, like sit down meals.

00:26:55.822 --> 00:26:57.365
Having times like walks.

00:26:58.867 --> 00:27:00.160
Board games.

00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:02.287
You're working on the relationships.

00:27:02.287 --> 00:27:04.581
Sometimes it takes a bit more work.

00:27:06.082 --> 00:27:08.126
Get their eyes.

00:27:08.126 --> 00:27:10.503
Say something to make them smile.

00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:12.464
- Experience of feeling the parent,

00:27:12.464 --> 00:27:15.967
seeing the parent's face,
hearing the parent's voice

00:27:15.967 --> 00:27:17.135
is being together.

00:27:18.219 --> 00:27:20.555
Doing something together.

00:27:20.555 --> 00:27:21.723
Nothing more important.

00:27:23.642 --> 00:27:26.394
(fire crackling)

00:27:28.563 --> 00:27:29.898
- You put a lot of time and investment

00:27:29.898 --> 00:27:32.400
into the early stages of life,

00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:34.527
I think it pays off in
the later stages of life.

00:27:34.527 --> 00:27:37.280
(dramatic music)

00:27:40.533 --> 00:27:44.704
- I'm just trying to
put stuff in the middle.

00:27:44.704 --> 00:27:46.373
Back with more wood.

00:27:49.376 --> 00:27:51.503
- We need that stick
you have in your hands.

00:27:51.503 --> 00:27:54.464
- COVID's intensified the questions,

00:27:54.464 --> 00:27:58.176
and that's because it's
intensified our use of technology,

00:27:58.176 --> 00:28:01.888
and in a weird way, it's
provided a laboratory

00:28:01.888 --> 00:28:06.518
for what happens when we get
too involved in our devices.

00:28:06.518 --> 00:28:09.270
(pleasant music)

00:28:12.065 --> 00:28:15.610
- Sometimes I have to
think, why am I doing this?

00:28:16.486 --> 00:28:21.449
But my mom she tells me, get
off the computer, go eat.

00:28:21.783 --> 00:28:24.285
Or go read, but don't read on your phone

00:28:24.285 --> 00:28:26.871
because that's basically
like being on your computer.

00:28:26.871 --> 00:28:31.209
- Look, oh look, that's
where we had it wrong.

00:28:31.209 --> 00:28:35.213
If we don't teach them
these good habits now,

00:28:35.213 --> 00:28:37.465
they'll spend their whole
lives watching some screen

00:28:37.465 --> 00:28:40.093
instead of living.

00:28:40.093 --> 00:28:42.512
And that's my fear is that, you know,

00:28:42.512 --> 00:28:46.141
we'll look back and say, oh
I spent my life on my phone.

00:28:46.141 --> 00:28:48.476
I spent my life on my computer,

00:28:48.476 --> 00:28:50.353
and not spending time with my child,

00:28:50.353 --> 00:28:54.023
or my loved ones, or
my family, friends, so.

00:28:57.235 --> 00:28:59.195
I think it's just important to be

00:29:00.905 --> 00:29:04.033
thoughtful, and then act.

00:29:04.200 --> 00:29:06.494
(upbeat music)

00:29:06.494 --> 00:29:08.580
♪ They know I'mma push it to the limit ♪

00:29:08.580 --> 00:29:09.581
♪ To the limit ♪

00:29:09.581 --> 00:29:10.498
♪ Strong from the start ♪

00:29:10.498 --> 00:29:12.000
♪ First place to the finish ♪

00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:12.834
♪ To the finish ♪

00:29:12.834 --> 00:29:15.503
♪ They know they winnin' ♪
if the girls stay winnin' ♪

00:29:15.503 --> 00:29:20.508
♪ I be on top no matter ♪
which way you spin it ♪

00:29:20.592 --> 00:29:23.470
♪ I've been through the fire and rain ♪

00:29:23.470 --> 00:29:27.056
♪ No matter what I do I'll never change ♪

00:29:27.056 --> 00:29:29.642
♪ You can't stop me, try to tell me no ♪

00:29:29.642 --> 00:29:30.852
♪ I'mma push it to the limit ♪

00:29:30.852 --> 00:29:33.188
♪ Tell me stop and I'mma go ♪

00:29:34.022 --> 00:29:37.192
♪ I been through the fire and the rain ♪

00:29:37.192 --> 00:29:40.653
♪ No matter what I do I'll never change ♪

00:29:40.653 --> 00:29:43.239
♪ You can't stop me, try to tell me no ♪

00:29:43.239 --> 00:29:44.532
♪ I'mma push it to the limit ♪

00:29:44.532 --> 00:29:47.786
♪ Tell me stop and I'mma go ♪

00:29:47.786 --> 00:29:49.829
♪ They know that I'm far away from home ♪

00:29:49.829 --> 00:29:51.372
♪ When they ask me why I do it ♪

00:29:51.372 --> 00:29:54.918
♪ I say man I'm in my zone, zone ♪

00:29:54.918 --> 00:29:55.835
♪ In my zone ♪

00:29:55.835 --> 00:29:56.836
♪ I'm in my zone ♪

00:29:56.836 --> 00:29:57.754
♪ In my zone ♪

00:29:57.754 --> 00:29:58.588
♪ I'm in my zone ♪

00:29:58.588 --> 00:29:59.422
♪ In my zone ♪