Unadopted
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
Of the 440,000 kids in foster care in the U.S., more than a quarter is over age 12. Adoption rates for these older kids are abysmally low. What happens when you're “too old” to get adopted? After 20 years in foster care, Noel Anaya was never adopted. He was determined to investigate what went wrong, and finds the answers in his first documentary film. UNADOPTED starts with Anaya untangling his own unique story, which leads him to a wider examination that reveals the social welfare system’s silent but pervasive systemic bias against families of color, and teenagers aka “older youth". While most young adults look to their parents for answers about identity and upbringing, Anaya turns to court records, social workers, and most importantly, three California teens who reveal the critical decisions they’re currently making to secure a “forever family”—or not.
Educational Media Reviews Online (EMRO) | Jessica Brangiel, Electronic Resources Management Librarian, Swarthmore College
"Unadopted packs a punch yet leaves the viewer somewhat hopeful due to the filmmakers decision to showcase the positive outcomes for kids who have successfully survived the system either through emancipation or in one rare case adoption at age sixteen. This film will resonate with students from high school through college and would complement course work in children/family/youth studies. It is equally valuable to adult viewers inspiring the desire to get involved to change this broken system."
Video Librarian
Strongly Recommended "Filmmaker Noel Anaya takes a hard look at America’s broken foster care system in the thoughtful documentary Unadopted [...] [T]he most compelling material concerns Anaya himself, as he unravels his life story and gets some answers as to why he ended up in foster care to begin with. The answers, steeped in outrageous cultural and racial biases that separated Anaya from his Latina, non-English-speaking mother, when he was a small boy, will leave one brooding over our treatment of vulnerable minorities."
NPR | Noel King, host of Morning Edition & Up First
"A terrific film"
National Review
"These programs tug at our heartstrings with the tragic details of the child-welfare system they present. But if you watch closely, you see that they also reveal important policy errors in the system and that they give the public a window into just how things have gone so wrong."
Read Producer & Subject Noel Anaya's interview with Medium
Read Producer & Subject Noel Anaya's article on awareness in Amara
Citation
Main credits
Anaya, Noel (film producer)
Anaya, Noel (screenwriter)
Anaya, Noel (on-screen participant)
Calo, Bob (film producer)
Calo, Bob (screenwriter)
Neudorf, Paula (film director)
Neudorf, Paula (film producer)
Neudorf, Paula (screenwriter)
LaPenne, Arianna (film director)
Other credits
Editor, Hanna Lane Miller; director of photography, Arianna LaPenne.
Distributor subjects
Adoption Studies; Foster Care; Children, Youth & Families; Mental HealthKeywords
WEBVTT
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(calm music)
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- There are more than
400,000 kids in foster care
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across the US.
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I was one of them.
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I never got adopted,
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and I\'ve never really known why.
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This is my case file.
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I\'m reading it to try to understand
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what really happened to me.
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I went into foster care
when I was just a year old.
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I was separated from
my brother and sister.
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He got shipped out to a
different part of California.
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She wound up in Idaho.
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I mostly stayed in the Bay Area,
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but I don\'t remember
a lot of my childhood,
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like this picture.
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I don\'t know who these people are.
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That\'s me in the middle
about the age of five.
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When I turned 21,
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I emancipated from foster care
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at this courthouse in San Jose.
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Emancipated means just like it sounds.
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I belonged to the state,
and then, I was free.
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To whom it may concern.
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But first,
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I did something few ever do.
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I confronted my judge and the system,
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and I recorded it for
a national radio story.
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I hope that you hear my words,
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and I hope that you could
listen to my signal of distress.
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I\'ve been with multiple foster families.
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I\'ve been with multiple shelters.
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But one thing that I\'ve
never had was that family.
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How does a person like me
not end up with a family?
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The judge had no answer.
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(gavel strikes)
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That radio story got a lot of attention.
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- When Noel Anaya was just a year old,
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he and his siblings
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were placed in the California
foster care system.
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- I even won an award for it.
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I\'m relieved to finally
get away from a system
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that ultimately failed me
on its biggest promise.
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The case was closed,
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but I wasn\'t done trying
to understand my past.
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There are holes, lots of
them, in my family tree.
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If you don\'t have parents,
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how do you find out how you grew up?
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I feel like my life has
been like really secretive.
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Like there\'s like another group of people
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that have been running my life and like
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I\'m finally investigating
like what went down.
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Honestly I don\'t know
what to expect from it.
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Today is the day I get
all my court records
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from my former lawyer,
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something most foster kids don\'t even know
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they have the right to do.
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- Hey, Noel.
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- What\'s up, Ben?
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How\'s it going?
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- Long time.
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- I know. This is the third
time I\'ve seen you in jeans now.
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- Come on in.
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- Holy crap.
00:03:00.731 --> 00:03:02.129
- This is your file.
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- It looks heavy.
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Where would I even go about starting
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to find where the case plan
got changed to long-term?
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- So you\'re asking when
it would have changed
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toward adoption?
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- To long-term.
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- Oh, from adoption to
long-term foster care?
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- Longterm foster care is
what the system calls it
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when they stop trying to get you adopted.
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Instead, the plan is that
you\'ll age out of the system.
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- This looks like 2007
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is when it moved over
from a plan of adoption.
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I think you might\'ve been 11.
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Yeah, you were 11 at that point.
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- Okay.
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Which means I was in sixth grade.
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Leaving my lawyer\'s office,
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I\'m excited and weary.
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I\'m going to look at my records
for the very first time.
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There\'s so much I\'ve
always wanted to know.
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(calm piano music)
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It basically feels like they decided
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to put me in long-term foster care
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because of my mental health state.
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That\'s what I\'m hearing,
getting from this.
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It\'s like stuff I\'ve never even heard of
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that I was possibly diagnosed with.
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And domestic violence is in this.
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At least I can know that
happened with my mom.
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This doesn\'t even sound like me.
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It says Noel never asks about his brother.
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I always asked about him.
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I don\'t know where this is coming from.
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I\'m kinda done with
this for today, though.
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My radio piece boosted
my social media profile,
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and I decided to reach out.
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I\'m looking for someone
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who\'s willing to share their experience
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in the foster care system for
a video that I\'m working on.
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Reading my records makes
me want to meet other kids
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who are going through what I went through.
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I\'m looking for someone who\'s
preferably under the age of 16
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and gender does not
matter, nor does ethnicity.
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Thank you. Sincerely, Noel.
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(calm music)
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Chris Hernandez wrote me back.
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He\'s in a position I was in once.
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He\'s 17,
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unadopted, and on the
path to emancipation.
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- I was at school like while it happened.
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- Chris went into foster
care six years ago.
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- So I got home around 5:00 PM,
and all these cops are there
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and my younger sister wasn\'t even there.
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She had been taken to
the hospital already.
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And it\'s like this
chaotic scene, you know,
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from like a film.
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But it\'s like it\'s not,
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it\'s real life.
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- How much of that did
you actually understand?
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- An interaction happened
between my mom and her boyfriend
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where he threw a cup, and it ricocheted
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and hit my little sister in the forehead.
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Do I know that story is true?
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Not fully.
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Could he have done something else?
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Possibly. I don\'t know.
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- This is Chris\'s fifth placement.
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He\'s been with this foster
family for nearly four years.
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- Wanna make a pie?
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It\'s going to be pretty thin, yeah?
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- He\'s happy here.
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But, the system has cost
him his relationship
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with his sister.
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It happens a lot.
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It happened to me.
00:07:02.557 --> 00:07:06.239
- I have not seen her
for actually a long time.
00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:07.073
- Why is that?
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- Because she was adopted out.
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And so...
00:07:10.222 --> 00:07:11.279
- Like adopted out of your life
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as in the parents don\'t
want you to talk to her?
00:07:13.150 --> 00:07:15.713
- Yeah. Where I live,
like Redding, California.
00:07:16.660 --> 00:07:17.564
It\'s such a small city.
00:07:17.565 --> 00:07:20.069
And so I\'ve seen her in public, like
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at the mall, and it\'s like
this constant fear of like
00:07:22.810 --> 00:07:24.414
do I go say hi?
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- Man, I\'m sorry to hear about that.
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That can be rough.
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I had a sister that was adopted, too,
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and definitely in the same situation.
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Teens in foster care,
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like Chris, rarely get adopted.
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Only one in ten adoptions
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nationwide is of a teen.
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(live music playing)
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This is Sequoia Torres.
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She\'s about to turn 16 and beat the odds.
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(crowd singing)
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- When I started school
here, like, my teacher
00:08:01.990 --> 00:08:04.239
he knew that I was a foster kid, and like
00:08:04.240 --> 00:08:07.169
he would always joke around
like, don\'t do drugs.
00:08:07.170 --> 00:08:08.549
- Oh man, that\'s a bad joke.
00:08:08.550 --> 00:08:11.407
- And I, like, I\'d do
that fake laugh like..
00:08:11.408 --> 00:08:12.241
- Yeah that\'s awkward.
00:08:12.242 --> 00:08:13.589
- Oh-haa funny.
00:08:13.590 --> 00:08:17.309
But like really, I\'m too
scared to like say things
00:08:17.310 --> 00:08:19.859
that are like true, just
\'cause I don\'t want to
00:08:19.860 --> 00:08:20.810
piss any anyone off.
00:08:20.811 --> 00:08:23.889
- Right. You don\'t want
to piss anybody off
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and get moved again... Am I right?
00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:28.903
- I don\'t want to anyone
off because... like
00:08:30.447 --> 00:08:31.649
like when I was a kid,
00:08:31.650 --> 00:08:34.100
I\'d piss people off, and
they\'d just leave me.
00:08:35.125 --> 00:08:37.491
- Sequoia\'s foster
parents, Eric and Diane,
00:08:37.492 --> 00:08:39.529
want to adopt her.
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- Trying to be a part of their family
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the first few months
was really hard \'cause
00:08:45.439 --> 00:08:49.309
I had to figure out how
they worked, how they spoke,
00:08:49.310 --> 00:08:52.853
what their moods were,
how to talk to them.
00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:58.249
You kind of change
yourself when you move in
00:08:58.250 --> 00:09:01.453
with someone else to
meet their expectations.
00:09:03.184 --> 00:09:05.559
- It was actually Diane
who got in touch with me.
00:09:05.560 --> 00:09:08.645
She\'s a social worker and
has two sons of her own.
00:09:08.646 --> 00:09:09.819
- I think we saw her every day
00:09:09.820 --> 00:09:12.399
for the first week before
she was placed with us.
00:09:12.400 --> 00:09:16.083
And my husband said, this
feels like she\'s interviewing.
00:09:16.084 --> 00:09:18.339
She\'s like literally interviewing
00:09:18.340 --> 00:09:21.169
for a family. That was really...
00:09:21.170 --> 00:09:22.712
awkward.
00:09:22.713 --> 00:09:25.489
And I remember her saying,
00:09:25.490 --> 00:09:26.323
Do you like me?
00:09:26.324 --> 00:09:29.305
So what do you think
of me?, several times.
00:09:29.306 --> 00:09:32.370
And what we kept saying
is, We\'re prepared to
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be a permanent placement for you.
00:09:35.510 --> 00:09:37.729
If you\'re open to it, we
would like you to live
00:09:37.730 --> 00:09:39.419
with us, and you can live with us
00:09:39.420 --> 00:09:40.579
as long as you want.
00:09:40.580 --> 00:09:42.299
- Sequoia has two hearings coming up,
00:09:42.300 --> 00:09:44.616
the steps required to end her relationship
00:09:44.617 --> 00:09:47.169
with her birth mother
and become a legal child
00:09:47.170 --> 00:09:48.699
of Diane and Eric.
00:09:48.700 --> 00:09:50.950
- And your court hearing...
00:09:52.027 --> 00:09:53.959
How are you feeling about that?
00:09:53.960 --> 00:09:56.209
- I\'m not excited about it.
00:09:56.210 --> 00:09:57.162
- Why?
00:09:57.163 --> 00:09:58.669
- Um...
00:09:58.670 --> 00:10:00.389
because there\'s a slight chance
00:10:00.390 --> 00:10:02.899
that my mother might be
there, and I really, really
00:10:02.900 --> 00:10:03.850
don\'t want to see her.
00:10:03.851 --> 00:10:04.999
- Oh, you don\'t?
00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:05.955
- No, no.
00:10:05.956 --> 00:10:07.101
- Why is that?
00:10:07.102 --> 00:10:08.759
- I feel like if I see her
then I\'m just going to fall
00:10:08.760 --> 00:10:10.669
into a really, really big, deep depression
00:10:10.670 --> 00:10:11.610
like I was before.
00:10:11.611 --> 00:10:13.826
And I just won\'t be able
to get back out of it.
00:10:13.827 --> 00:10:16.131
I have always had pity for
my mother, and I\'ve never
00:10:16.132 --> 00:10:17.629
like opened my eyes
00:10:17.630 --> 00:10:19.529
and realized that she\'s
never really helped me.
00:10:19.530 --> 00:10:20.803
She just uses me.
00:10:24.370 --> 00:10:26.120
- Today is Sequoia\'s first hearing.
00:10:28.124 --> 00:10:29.890
- This is her.
00:10:32.280 --> 00:10:34.942
- For two reasons, one I\'m excited.
00:10:34.943 --> 00:10:36.249
- I don\'t want to see her,
00:10:36.250 --> 00:10:40.663
but it\'d be nice to know if
she\'s like alive and not dead.
00:10:41.850 --> 00:10:46.130
Like if she\'s dead, then like
I\'ll be sad for a few seconds,
00:10:46.131 --> 00:10:48.037
but then like get over
it and probably be like,
00:10:48.038 --> 00:10:50.829
Oh, it was probably for the best for her.
00:10:50.830 --> 00:10:52.940
But if she\'s alive, I\'ll probably be like,
00:10:55.560 --> 00:10:57.151
Good for her.
00:10:58.700 --> 00:11:01.700
Do you know if my mom\'s here or not?
00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:04.760
- Whoo...
00:11:04.760 --> 00:11:05.760
Okay.
00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:08.186
- Yeah.
00:11:12.487 --> 00:11:14.106
- Okay, okay.
00:11:14.107 --> 00:11:17.869
I don\'t see anything that
looks like her vehicle, so...
00:11:17.870 --> 00:11:19.019
- Do you know what kind
of vehicle she drives?
00:11:19.020 --> 00:11:21.184
Do you remember? Or does it change a lot?
00:11:21.185 --> 00:11:26.177
- I know that the cops found
her vehicle at like Safeway.
00:11:28.260 --> 00:11:30.593
- Sequoia\'s mom didn\'t show.
00:11:31.595 --> 00:11:35.259
- Every child and youth in
foster care is in foster care
00:11:35.260 --> 00:11:40.019
because they were maltreated
to the level that a court found
00:11:40.020 --> 00:11:41.369
that they needed to be removed
00:11:41.370 --> 00:11:43.429
from the custody of their parents.
00:11:43.430 --> 00:11:45.329
- I\'ve known Amy Lemley for years.
00:11:45.330 --> 00:11:47.917
She runs a California
youth advocacy group.
00:11:47.918 --> 00:11:49.409
- We don\'t talk about it
00:11:49.410 --> 00:11:51.209
because it\'s a hard thing to talk about.
00:11:51.210 --> 00:11:53.579
Child abuse is not something anyone
00:11:53.580 --> 00:11:56.029
likes to think about, but that is where
00:11:56.030 --> 00:11:57.669
the foster care system starts.
00:11:57.670 --> 00:11:59.139
Kids don\'t get assigned
00:11:59.140 --> 00:12:01.529
and randomly dropped into foster care.
00:12:01.530 --> 00:12:05.183
They get removed because
their life is in jeopardy.
00:12:07.380 --> 00:12:10.009
- I\'ve had some time to
read through these files.
00:12:10.010 --> 00:12:12.059
They answer a lot of questions
00:12:12.060 --> 00:12:13.779
like how I entered the system.
00:12:13.780 --> 00:12:16.079
The story that I was told
on how I entered was that
00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:20.266
my mom was a person that
could be easily manipulated.
00:12:20.267 --> 00:12:23.754
And then she realized she was
going down a terrible hole,
00:12:23.755 --> 00:12:28.729
and she wanted to almost
get out of that life.
00:12:28.730 --> 00:12:32.059
And my dad had made some
really bad decisions.
00:12:32.060 --> 00:12:34.459
It got to a point where she
was going to threaten him.
00:12:34.460 --> 00:12:38.572
And so, my father like
grabbed me and held a gun.
00:12:38.573 --> 00:12:42.119
And like that was a threat. Was my life.
00:12:42.120 --> 00:12:44.581
And I never knew if it was true or not.
00:12:44.582 --> 00:12:48.993
And from reading in here,
the person that went to look
00:12:48.994 --> 00:12:52.995
at the scene saw that my
mother actually did get beat.
00:12:52.996 --> 00:12:56.894
And there was a search warrant out,
00:12:56.895 --> 00:12:58.778
and they found my father
00:12:58.779 --> 00:13:00.823
in the bedroom with a loaded revolver.
00:13:01.740 --> 00:13:05.093
Foster care may have saved my
life, but it\'s a crapshoot.
00:13:06.180 --> 00:13:08.189
My friend Tisha is proof of that.
00:13:08.190 --> 00:13:12.339
She has been homeless on
and off for several years.
00:13:12.340 --> 00:13:15.119
And we\'re about to pull
up to where she\'s staying
00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:17.653
at right now, which is
a temporary shelter.
00:13:18.610 --> 00:13:21.369
I got some special permission
to have a conversation
00:13:21.370 --> 00:13:22.820
with Tisha in a private room.
00:13:24.281 --> 00:13:28.419
Tisha spent almost as much
time in foster care as I did.
00:13:28.420 --> 00:13:31.626
She aged out unadopted at 18
00:13:31.627 --> 00:13:35.469
before California extended
its benefits to 21.
00:13:35.470 --> 00:13:39.679
Now she\'s 25 and trying to
finish an undergraduate degree.
00:13:39.680 --> 00:13:42.609
- Between 12 and 18,
00:13:42.610 --> 00:13:44.137
I was in..
00:13:45.934 --> 00:13:48.934
(silently counting)
00:13:52.780 --> 00:13:55.800
about more than 10 placements.
00:13:56.800 --> 00:13:59.559
Some foster homes, some group homes.
00:13:59.560 --> 00:14:02.045
- People don\'t get it.
Tisha and I had to make
00:14:02.046 --> 00:14:05.119
critical legal decisions in our teens.
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:10.120
- I just remember signing a
bunch of papers and like filling
00:14:10.590 --> 00:14:13.519
out like what felt like questionnaires.
00:14:13.520 --> 00:14:15.549
I wasn\'t really too sure
00:14:15.550 --> 00:14:17.022
like what was going on.
00:14:17.023 --> 00:14:20.429
It was kind of, it felt very
rushed at the very last minute.
00:14:20.430 --> 00:14:22.539
It was kind of just like a push
00:14:22.540 --> 00:14:24.199
for me to get out of the system.
00:14:24.200 --> 00:14:26.199
- How has aging out, you know,
00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:28.559
that aftercare, how has that affected you?
00:14:28.560 --> 00:14:30.148
- I was in
00:14:30.149 --> 00:14:31.999
a homeless shelter
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:34.429
in Oakland, living in a motel
00:14:34.430 --> 00:14:38.589
at one point, couch surfing
at another point, back
00:14:38.590 --> 00:14:40.139
into another shelter.
00:14:40.140 --> 00:14:42.229
Then after that I was actually homeless
00:14:42.230 --> 00:14:44.249
for about five, six months.
00:14:44.250 --> 00:14:46.425
- Kind of it does suck,
not being able to live
00:14:46.426 --> 00:14:49.609
like a regular young adult
facing trial and error,
00:14:49.610 --> 00:14:52.113
when if you make an
error, that could possibly
00:14:52.114 --> 00:14:53.609
mean you\'re homeless.
00:14:53.610 --> 00:14:54.470
- Yeah. It\'s like
00:14:54.471 --> 00:14:57.239
with people who have
those support systems,
00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:59.959
they can just go back home,
and they just, you know,
00:14:59.960 --> 00:15:03.385
have their parents to help
provide or help assist them.
00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:06.229
- One study followed kids for
00:15:06.230 --> 00:15:07.990
several years after aging out.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:11.483
About one in three had been homeless.
00:15:14.600 --> 00:15:17.515
Less than 9% graduated college.
00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:21.567
And nearly half were
incarcerated at least once.
00:15:24.610 --> 00:15:27.759
- This former foster care
social worker has moved on
00:15:27.760 --> 00:15:31.253
to the prison system. He
has asked to be anonymous.
00:15:32.220 --> 00:15:33.989
- Foster care is basically
they\'re training you guys
00:15:33.990 --> 00:15:37.319
for the adult system. Jails, prisons.
00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:41.119
- So have ever seen any of your own kids
00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:45.869
that you had on your caseload
go through that system?
00:15:45.870 --> 00:15:48.813
- Yes. More often than I,
than I would like to say.
00:15:49.950 --> 00:15:53.799
And it\'s, it\'s sad because
even when I was working
00:15:53.800 --> 00:15:55.692
with them back when they were minors, I,
00:15:55.693 --> 00:15:57.919
I knew there was a big probability
00:15:57.920 --> 00:15:59.549
that they would end up there.
00:15:59.550 --> 00:16:01.009
- For older kids, you know,
00:16:01.010 --> 00:16:03.389
do you know the adoption rate
00:16:03.390 --> 00:16:08.390
or the issues with
getting a forever family?
00:16:08.700 --> 00:16:12.039
- For the most part, once
00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:13.959
the minors reach
00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:15.251
12,
00:16:15.252 --> 00:16:16.103
13,
00:16:16.103 --> 00:16:16.936
14,
00:16:16.937 --> 00:16:20.068
like preteens or teens, the probability
00:16:20.069 --> 00:16:24.219
of them getting into a forever family
00:16:24.220 --> 00:16:25.386
is very slim.
00:16:27.510 --> 00:16:28.669
- I spent most of my life
00:16:28.670 --> 00:16:31.200
with a single foster family in California.
00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:35.469
As a six-year-old, I had no idea
00:16:35.470 --> 00:16:37.859
they weren\'t my biological parents.
00:16:37.860 --> 00:16:40.206
And when they told me they
weren\'t, it like blew my mind.
00:16:40.207 --> 00:16:41.206
I freaked out. And like,
00:16:41.207 --> 00:16:45.359
I immediately asked
them, Can you adopt me?
00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:47.049
And they didn\'t want to.
00:16:47.050 --> 00:16:50.419
And I think that was the
most hardest breakup or like,
00:16:50.420 --> 00:16:53.739
like realization that was humiliating.
00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:56.389
It\'s like, not only are you not my parents
00:16:56.390 --> 00:16:57.640
but you don\'t want to be?
00:16:58.840 --> 00:17:00.399
The reason they told me is
00:17:00.400 --> 00:17:03.599
because there was still a
chance I could get adopted.
00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:05.079
When I was eight, I moved
00:17:05.080 --> 00:17:07.669
to Idaho to reunite with my sister.
00:17:07.670 --> 00:17:10.249
I went from a little Brown boy living
00:17:10.250 --> 00:17:14.029
in the Bay Area, going to Idaho.
00:17:14.030 --> 00:17:17.289
And it\'s like, it was a
really big culture shock.
00:17:17.290 --> 00:17:19.699
And then living with my sister was great,
00:17:19.700 --> 00:17:21.419
but she was going through her own issues.
00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:23.469
I thought I was hitting the lotto
00:17:23.470 --> 00:17:27.669
getting this whole fantasy
thing, a nice decent family.
00:17:27.670 --> 00:17:28.889
But then like
00:17:28.890 --> 00:17:32.799
they were constantly
frustrated with her and me.
00:17:32.800 --> 00:17:34.629
And I think she was frustrated
00:17:34.630 --> 00:17:37.729
that I was there because
I was taking her shine.
00:17:37.730 --> 00:17:39.429
I had my own issues.
00:17:39.430 --> 00:17:43.749
I acted out. My foster
parents put me on meds.
00:17:43.750 --> 00:17:45.669
I had a bad reaction.
00:17:45.670 --> 00:17:47.149
I was hospitalized.
00:17:47.150 --> 00:17:48.569
I just remember, I get picked
00:17:48.570 --> 00:17:50.766
up from a hospital and the dad is quiet.
00:17:50.767 --> 00:17:53.049
He has his glasses on, his Oakleys.
00:17:53.050 --> 00:17:54.739
I can\'t even see his expressions.
00:17:54.740 --> 00:17:57.559
The mother won\'t look at me at all.
00:17:57.560 --> 00:17:59.809
They don\'t really hug
me when they pick me up.
00:17:59.810 --> 00:18:03.189
And then like, they take me
to this really ugly building.
00:18:03.190 --> 00:18:05.609
They, they like open the trunk.
00:18:05.610 --> 00:18:07.719
I didn\'t realize that my
stuff was in the trunk.
00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:10.469
And I was like, Hey, why is my stuff here?
00:18:10.470 --> 00:18:13.059
And they\'re all like, Here\'s
what, here\'s your necessities.
00:18:13.060 --> 00:18:14.119
We\'ll mail the rest.
00:18:14.120 --> 00:18:15.429
And they\'re talking to an eight year old
00:18:15.430 --> 00:18:17.329
like I know what that means.
00:18:17.330 --> 00:18:18.354
And then like
00:18:18.355 --> 00:18:21.629
I just remember the mom
getting really sad, like,
00:18:21.630 --> 00:18:23.739
We\'re sorry. We did everything we could.
00:18:23.740 --> 00:18:25.955
And I was like, So that\'s it?
00:18:25.956 --> 00:18:26.789
You\'re giving up on me?
00:18:26.790 --> 00:18:29.399
I wish like, as a kid, I was
able to say that to them,
00:18:29.400 --> 00:18:33.009
but I don\'t have those
communication skills.
00:18:33.010 --> 00:18:34.719
They don\'t teach you how to love yourself.
00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:36.509
They don\'t teach you how
to stand up for yourself.
00:18:36.510 --> 00:18:38.934
They just teach you to
change for those people.
00:18:38.935 --> 00:18:40.159
- Hello?
00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:41.799
- Hi, Diane. It\'s Lynne.
00:18:41.800 --> 00:18:43.582
- Hi. What\'s the address?
00:18:43.583 --> 00:18:45.359
- It\'s Sequoia big hearing.
00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:48.233
She\'s getting a family. Adoptive parents.
00:18:49.570 --> 00:18:51.799
- We\'re on our way to my court hearing.
00:18:51.800 --> 00:18:53.780
Well, I guess our court hearing now.
00:18:55.870 --> 00:19:00.069
I guess it\'s officially
terminating parental rights.
00:19:00.070 --> 00:19:02.857
- Her mom left on her
birthday last year. So.
00:19:02.858 --> 00:19:04.429
- Yeah.
00:19:04.430 --> 00:19:07.519
- It\'s, to me, it seems
a little bit symbolic
00:19:07.520 --> 00:19:09.630
that here we are a year later, and,
00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:12.239
you know,
00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:14.313
the case is getting closed.
00:19:15.522 --> 00:19:16.629
I don\'t know how you feel about that?
00:19:16.630 --> 00:19:20.569
- Just like, wow, it\'s been a full year
00:19:20.570 --> 00:19:22.885
that she\'s been gone
00:19:22.886 --> 00:19:24.610
and look where I\'m at now.
00:19:26.690 --> 00:19:29.139
She\'s supposed to be at the court dates,
00:19:29.140 --> 00:19:32.825
but like, if she shows up
to court, there\'s a very big
00:19:32.826 --> 00:19:36.279
possibility that she\'ll
probably end up getting arrested
00:19:36.280 --> 00:19:40.030
because of like drugs,
abandonment charges.
00:19:40.031 --> 00:19:44.139
I don\'t know what she\'s
done in the past year.
00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:47.719
So like you never know,
but she\'ll probably like
00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:51.349
end up getting like charged
or arrested or something.
00:19:51.350 --> 00:19:53.259
- They\'ve gone out to
homeless camps looking
00:19:53.260 --> 00:19:57.393
for her, and they haven\'t
been able to locate her.
00:20:04.840 --> 00:20:06.029
- I\'m so used to sleeping
00:20:06.030 --> 00:20:08.719
on a mattress on the floor, just fending
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:12.359
for myself, or being in
a cockroach infested home
00:20:12.360 --> 00:20:16.329
or living in motels or
spending the nights in cars.
00:20:16.330 --> 00:20:18.570
So, I want stability.
00:20:19.780 --> 00:20:20.896
- Sequoia, how you doing?
00:20:20.897 --> 00:20:22.199
- I\'m doing pretty good.
00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:26.523
- This hearing is set
for a 366.26 hearing.
00:20:26.524 --> 00:20:28.822
- Kelly Bentley, on behalf
of mother, Nicole Torres,
00:20:28.823 --> 00:20:29.999
who is not present.
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.789
- The department did
exercise due diligence
00:20:32.790 --> 00:20:36.779
in trying to locate the
mother. The court\'s aware
00:20:36.780 --> 00:20:40.059
that your biological father
died when you were young.
00:20:40.060 --> 00:20:42.159
- Why I\'m scared to age out of the system
00:20:42.160 --> 00:20:44.259
is because that\'s what my mom did.
00:20:44.260 --> 00:20:46.476
My mom was a foster child.
00:20:46.477 --> 00:20:48.169
- The court finds by clear and convincing
00:20:48.170 --> 00:20:51.015
evidence that Sequoia is
adoptable, that she is
00:20:51.016 --> 00:20:54.419
both generally and specifically adaptable.
00:20:54.420 --> 00:20:55.849
And
00:20:55.850 --> 00:20:57.400
to be straightforward with you,
00:20:58.280 --> 00:21:03.119
a lot of 16 year olds are
not generally adoptable.
00:21:03.120 --> 00:21:04.090
- Really?
00:21:04.091 --> 00:21:08.439
- Yeah, but you\'re, you\'re
00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:09.663
absolutely adoptable.
00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:14.519
I don\'t really tell
people that very often,
00:21:14.520 --> 00:21:17.589
but kids that are going
through adolescence, unless
00:21:17.590 --> 00:21:20.439
there\'s an actual family
that wants to adopt them,
00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:23.449
it\'s pretty hard legally to
find that they\'re generally
00:21:23.450 --> 00:21:26.710
adaptable. The court hereby terminates
00:21:27.870 --> 00:21:28.959
your mother\'s
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:31.819
parental rights and anybody
who alleges to be your
00:21:31.820 --> 00:21:36.307
father and declares you free for adoption.
00:21:36.308 --> 00:21:37.690
(clapping)
00:21:37.691 --> 00:21:40.009
- Why the clapping?
00:21:40.010 --> 00:21:42.726
- We clap whenever anything
good happens in this court
00:21:42.727 --> 00:21:44.585
because it doesn\'t happen very often.
00:21:44.586 --> 00:21:48.036
So, we get really excited
when anything good happens.
00:21:50.950 --> 00:21:54.367
- It\'s like they\'ve never clapped before.
00:21:56.703 --> 00:21:57.729
I almost started crying
00:21:57.730 --> 00:22:00.399
when she said, You\'re getting adopted.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:02.859
But like, then I also
almost started crying when
00:22:02.860 --> 00:22:05.249
like it was official, that parental...
00:22:05.250 --> 00:22:06.083
- Yeah.
00:22:06.083 --> 00:22:06.916
- Rights.
00:22:06.917 --> 00:22:08.139
- That\'s when I started. I mean...
00:22:08.140 --> 00:22:10.438
Yeah. My eyes got really teary.
00:22:10.439 --> 00:22:11.650
- I was just like.
00:22:11.651 --> 00:22:14.251
- You\'ve been very brave
throughout all this.
00:22:15.642 --> 00:22:16.775
- Thank you.
00:22:16.776 --> 00:22:18.785
Don\'t, don\'t, don\'t cry.
00:22:18.786 --> 00:22:21.119
You\'re going to make me cry.
00:22:22.658 --> 00:22:24.857
- I don\'t think the judge meant any harm.
00:22:24.858 --> 00:22:27.548
Generally adoptable and
specifically adoptable,
00:22:27.549 --> 00:22:31.085
they are legal terms.
But they still bother me.
00:22:31.086 --> 00:22:34.479
If people aren\'t generally
adoptable or specifically
00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:37.959
adoptable, you know, what
does that mean for my case?
00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:40.609
Or what does that mean
for my siblings that went
00:22:40.610 --> 00:22:42.017
through the system?
00:22:42.018 --> 00:22:43.709
Generally adoptable and not adoptable.
00:22:43.710 --> 00:22:46.028
That just seems like a cop out.
00:22:47.110 --> 00:22:48.110
Yeah.
00:22:49.632 --> 00:22:50.550
Seems like a cop out.
00:22:50.550 --> 00:22:51.550
- 3..2..1..
00:22:52.497 --> 00:22:53.928
- The day after the hearing,
00:22:53.929 --> 00:22:56.299
Sequoia celebrates her Sweet 16.
00:22:56.300 --> 00:22:59.546
- And a one and a two
and a one, two, three!
00:22:59.547 --> 00:23:01.319
(birthday song)
00:23:01.320 --> 00:23:04.649
- At a certain age, they
just give up on you.
00:23:04.650 --> 00:23:07.729
There\'s a label on teen foster kids
00:23:07.730 --> 00:23:10.383
that says that we\'re bad.
00:23:15.152 --> 00:23:17.833
You\'re not invited to my birthday party.
00:23:18.910 --> 00:23:22.719
There\'s these willing,
adoptive parents who want to
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.729
adopt kids, but have
waited like years to get
00:23:26.730 --> 00:23:29.349
like that seven year old or that baby or
00:23:29.350 --> 00:23:32.560
that three-year-old, when
literally, if you wanted to
00:23:32.561 --> 00:23:34.649
adopt a teen, you can get one
00:23:34.650 --> 00:23:38.538
in the first 15 minutes
that you\'re able to adopt.
00:23:39.590 --> 00:23:40.973
Okay! Pictures.
00:23:40.974 --> 00:23:41.974
- Pictures.
00:23:42.650 --> 00:23:44.069
- All kids are adoptable.
00:23:44.070 --> 00:23:45.479
It\'s just a matter of you
00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:47.691
wanting to work with them.
00:23:49.700 --> 00:23:51.159
- How much cheese should I grate?
00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:53.576
- How ever much you want, honey.
00:23:53.577 --> 00:23:54.901
- The thought of adoption now
00:23:54.902 --> 00:23:56.609
it\'s like, why would I do that?
00:23:56.610 --> 00:23:58.909
Trust is hard, you know?
00:23:58.910 --> 00:24:02.119
- Chris\'s foster family
actually offered to adopt him,
00:24:02.120 --> 00:24:04.799
but he turned them down. Two years ago,
00:24:04.800 --> 00:24:08.609
Chris started having visits
with his biological mom.
00:24:08.610 --> 00:24:10.309
Was there ever a question
00:24:10.310 --> 00:24:12.909
about possibly reunifying
with your mother?
00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:15.920
- No. Like she, she
when I was first placed
00:24:15.921 --> 00:24:18.659
into foster care with my
sister, she was in a program.
00:24:18.660 --> 00:24:23.129
Right. And she didn\'t
complete the program.
00:24:23.130 --> 00:24:25.319
She didn\'t test clean.
00:24:25.320 --> 00:24:26.399
- How\'d you deal with that?
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:28.419
- It wasn\'t fun to hear that like, oh,
00:24:28.420 --> 00:24:29.826
she she\'s still continuing to do drugs.
00:24:29.827 --> 00:24:32.269
That\'s, that\'s not fun.
00:24:32.270 --> 00:24:36.189
But, but now there\'s no
possibility of me going back,
00:24:36.190 --> 00:24:39.419
but there\'s a possibility for
us to grow a relationship.
00:24:39.420 --> 00:24:42.405
- Do you feel like you, you
choose to not get adopted
00:24:42.406 --> 00:24:45.114
as like a part of like
honoring your mother?
00:24:45.115 --> 00:24:46.959
Is that why you choose not to?
00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:48.419
- What if I do get adopted?
00:24:48.420 --> 00:24:49.659
Who am I going to call mom?
00:24:49.660 --> 00:24:53.559
You know, like, and is my mom\'s,
like my biological mother,
00:24:53.560 --> 00:24:54.736
Like, is she going to be mad?
00:24:54.737 --> 00:24:55.737
You know?
00:24:57.510 --> 00:24:59.329
And I don\'t know.
00:24:59.330 --> 00:25:01.749
Like, and so that\'s
definitely a big reason why
00:25:01.750 --> 00:25:04.554
I wouldn\'t get adopted because
I don\'t want her to like
00:25:04.555 --> 00:25:06.864
be disappointed or something like that.
00:25:06.865 --> 00:25:09.609
Because I chose another family.
00:25:09.610 --> 00:25:12.863
- Chris has a foster family
that wants to adopt him.
00:25:12.864 --> 00:25:16.259
I grew up in a foster family
that never had any intention
00:25:16.260 --> 00:25:17.739
of adopting me.
00:25:17.740 --> 00:25:20.202
And here we are in my neighborhood.
00:25:20.203 --> 00:25:21.433
So I\'m not even from this place.
00:25:21.434 --> 00:25:24.852
I was just raised here, which
kind of makes me from here?
00:25:24.853 --> 00:25:25.853
But.
00:25:27.610 --> 00:25:29.396
Never felt like my city.
00:25:30.781 --> 00:25:33.313
This is Union City, California.
00:25:33.314 --> 00:25:35.599
I went to high school here.
00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:37.949
I ran track here.
00:25:37.950 --> 00:25:40.519
This is where I lived with the
foster family who took care
00:25:40.520 --> 00:25:44.849
of me on and off for 15 years.
After the failed adoption
00:25:44.850 --> 00:25:47.099
in Idaho, they took me back.
00:25:47.100 --> 00:25:48.839
I\'m clearly not going to get adopted.
00:25:48.840 --> 00:25:50.981
I\'m almost 12.
00:25:50.982 --> 00:25:53.329
It was like awkward, because
they\'ve already said they don\'t
00:25:53.330 --> 00:25:56.209
want to be my parents, but
I\'m kind of at this point
00:25:56.210 --> 00:26:00.495
freeloading, because it\'s
like, I like my life here.
00:26:00.496 --> 00:26:03.299
I have decent friends.
00:26:03.300 --> 00:26:07.392
I have social status
that\'s building, you know.
00:26:07.393 --> 00:26:09.283
It was unspoken. But it\'s like,
00:26:09.284 --> 00:26:12.774
just let me finish my time, you know.
00:26:12.775 --> 00:26:14.442
I\'m about to graduate.
00:26:14.443 --> 00:26:17.375
After that, I\'ll be my own problem.
00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:25.719
I met my biological mother when I was 14,
00:26:25.720 --> 00:26:28.719
and we\'ve managed to build a relationship.
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:31.995
But we\'ve never talked
about what happened.
00:26:34.094 --> 00:26:35.469
I\'m not too sure how this will go down
00:26:35.470 --> 00:26:38.449
because I\'ve tried to
talked to her three times
00:26:38.450 --> 00:26:43.442
about foster care and just
kind of our situation.
00:26:43.443 --> 00:26:45.579
But I think it\'s different now.
00:26:45.580 --> 00:26:48.019
So we\'re coming up on her
house right there on the left.
00:26:48.020 --> 00:26:51.709
It\'s the green house with the
red shutters. And, she\'s home!
00:26:51.710 --> 00:26:52.733
As well as my sister.
00:26:53.890 --> 00:26:54.890
Okay.
00:27:02.292 --> 00:27:03.592
- She\'s going to show you.
00:27:05.742 --> 00:27:08.175
- Three? Wow!
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:12.629
- We also need to think about parents.
00:27:12.630 --> 00:27:15.428
It pretty much devastates the life
00:27:15.429 --> 00:27:18.997
of a person forever when
their child is removed.
00:27:18.998 --> 00:27:20.246
- Oh, that\'s me.
00:27:20.247 --> 00:27:21.454
What was that like when I was a
00:27:21.455 --> 00:27:22.455
little nino?
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:26.939
- And I know they\'re kind of
like the bad guys in this story
00:27:26.940 --> 00:27:29.713
but they are broken, too,
through that process.
00:27:40.772 --> 00:27:42.609
- If I\'d never been separated from my mom,
00:27:42.610 --> 00:27:44.249
I\'d still speak Spanish.
00:27:44.250 --> 00:27:47.381
Now, I need a family member to translate.
00:28:00.620 --> 00:28:02.220
Were you trying to like
00:28:03.460 --> 00:28:07.459
change your lifestyle or
your, yourself at that time?
00:28:07.460 --> 00:28:09.403
And he didn\'t want you to do anything?
00:28:12.750 --> 00:28:16.219
You felt like you got better after he went
00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:20.683
to jail or after he, you
got to try to get us back?
00:28:30.460 --> 00:28:31.989
Do you feel like I was happier
00:28:31.990 --> 00:28:34.978
with you than I was in foster care?
00:28:41.040 --> 00:28:43.249
Yeah. Did I ever say
00:28:43.250 --> 00:28:46.348
why do I have to go or anything like that?
00:29:03.862 --> 00:29:04.935
Did you get, like,
00:29:04.936 --> 00:29:07.062
the help that you needed
to get me and Ulises back?
00:29:22.499 --> 00:29:25.499
Did it hurt you when they said that?
00:29:39.999 --> 00:29:43.174
Did they at least, like,
00:29:45.713 --> 00:29:48.630
did they give us a moment at all?
00:29:56.387 --> 00:29:59.054
I never got the letters.
00:30:12.554 --> 00:30:14.102
Yeah. I never got the letters.
00:30:14.103 --> 00:30:16.619
I wish I could have gotten those letters.
00:30:16.620 --> 00:30:20.586
I just wanted to feel like a normal boy.
00:30:32.675 --> 00:30:33.904
- I love you so much.
00:30:33.905 --> 00:30:35.572
- I love you, too, Mom.
00:30:40.682 --> 00:30:41.798
- Bye!
00:30:43.450 --> 00:30:45.409
- I didn\'t get adopted or reunified,
00:30:45.410 --> 00:30:49.249
but there\'s still something
special to salvage there.
00:30:49.250 --> 00:30:51.667
And that\'s what I\'m doing.
00:30:51.668 --> 00:30:53.226
That\'s all you can do.
00:31:00.114 --> 00:31:02.143
Tisha\'s no longer homeless
00:31:02.144 --> 00:31:04.143
and plans to become a paralegal.
00:31:05.730 --> 00:31:08.929
Chris left Redding to go to
university in Sacramento.
00:31:08.930 --> 00:31:09.989
He checks in regularly
00:31:09.990 --> 00:31:12.829
with his foster family.
00:31:12.830 --> 00:31:15.139
Sequoia has officially been adopted.
00:31:15.140 --> 00:31:19.242
She\'s a senior in high
school, and says life\'s good.
00:31:19.243 --> 00:31:21.853
- I don\'t want to tell
people my life story over
00:31:21.854 --> 00:31:22.687
and over again.
00:31:22.688 --> 00:31:25.461
I\'ve lived here, I\'ve lived
here, I\'ve lived here.
00:31:25.462 --> 00:31:27.996
There\'s just a certain line.
00:31:27.997 --> 00:31:31.687
And like, here\'s the line.
00:31:31.688 --> 00:31:33.245
I\'m across that line
00:31:33.246 --> 00:31:35.157
like way over there,
00:31:35.158 --> 00:31:37.826
like the healthy, of the healthy line.
00:31:39.939 --> 00:31:42.909
- And as for me, I\'m headed
to SF state for my junior year
00:31:42.910 --> 00:31:44.329
of college.
00:31:44.330 --> 00:31:47.589
I have an apartment of my own
in Oakland, and I\'m in touch
00:31:47.590 --> 00:31:50.609
with my foster family
and biological family.
00:31:50.610 --> 00:31:52.288
I care about them a lot.
00:31:53.500 --> 00:31:56.609
For those of us who age out
of foster care, things don\'t
00:31:56.610 --> 00:31:59.719
always happen the way we
might\'ve wished, but we
00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:02.793
make the most of them as they are.
00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:07.387
Come on. Story time.