WEBVTT

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(calm music)

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- There are more than
400,000 kids in foster care

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across the US.

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I was one of them.

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I never got adopted,

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and I\'ve never really known why.

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This is my case file.

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I\'m reading it to try to understand

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what really happened to me.

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I went into foster care
when I was just a year old.

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I was separated from
my brother and sister.

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He got shipped out to a
different part of California.

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She wound up in Idaho.

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I mostly stayed in the Bay Area,

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but I don\'t remember
a lot of my childhood,

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like this picture.

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I don\'t know who these people are.

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That\'s me in the middle
about the age of five.

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When I turned 21,

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I emancipated from foster care

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at this courthouse in San Jose.

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Emancipated means just like it sounds.

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I belonged to the state,
and then, I was free.

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To whom it may concern.

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But first,

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I did something few ever do.

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I confronted my judge and the system,

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and I recorded it for
a national radio story.

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I hope that you hear my words,

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and I hope that you could
listen to my signal of distress.

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I\'ve been with multiple foster families.

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I\'ve been with multiple shelters.

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But one thing that I\'ve
never had was that family.

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How does a person like me
not end up with a family?

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The judge had no answer.

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(gavel strikes)

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That radio story got a lot of attention.

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- When Noel Anaya was just a year old,

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he and his siblings

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were placed in the California
foster care system.

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- I even won an award for it.

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I\'m relieved to finally
get away from a system

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that ultimately failed me
on its biggest promise.

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The case was closed,

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but I wasn\'t done trying
to understand my past.

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There are holes, lots of
them, in my family tree.

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If you don\'t have parents,

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how do you find out how you grew up?

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I feel like my life has
been like really secretive.

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Like there\'s like another group of people

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that have been running my life and like

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I\'m finally investigating
like what went down.

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Honestly I don\'t know
what to expect from it.

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Today is the day I get
all my court records

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from my former lawyer,

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something most foster kids don\'t even know

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they have the right to do.

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- Hey, Noel.

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- What\'s up, Ben?

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How\'s it going?

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- Long time.

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- I know. This is the third
time I\'ve seen you in jeans now.

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- Come on in.

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- Holy crap.

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- This is your file.

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- It looks heavy.

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Where would I even go about starting

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to find where the case plan
got changed to long-term?

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- So you\'re asking when
it would have changed

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toward adoption?

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- To long-term.

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- Oh, from adoption to
long-term foster care?

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- Longterm foster care is
what the system calls it

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when they stop trying to get you adopted.

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Instead, the plan is that
you\'ll age out of the system.

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- This looks like 2007

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is when it moved over
from a plan of adoption.

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I think you might\'ve been 11.

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Yeah, you were 11 at that point.

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- Okay.

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Which means I was in sixth grade.

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Leaving my lawyer\'s office,

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I\'m excited and weary.

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I\'m going to look at my records
for the very first time.

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There\'s so much I\'ve
always wanted to know.

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(calm piano music)

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It basically feels like they decided

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to put me in long-term foster care

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because of my mental health state.

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That\'s what I\'m hearing,
getting from this.

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It\'s like stuff I\'ve never even heard of

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that I was possibly diagnosed with.

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And domestic violence is in this.

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At least I can know that
happened with my mom.

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This doesn\'t even sound like me.

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It says Noel never asks about his brother.

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I always asked about him.

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I don\'t know where this is coming from.

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I\'m kinda done with
this for today, though.

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My radio piece boosted
my social media profile,

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and I decided to reach out.

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I\'m looking for someone

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who\'s willing to share their experience

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in the foster care system for
a video that I\'m working on.

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Reading my records makes
me want to meet other kids

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who are going through what I went through.

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I\'m looking for someone who\'s
preferably under the age of 16

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and gender does not
matter, nor does ethnicity.

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Thank you. Sincerely, Noel.

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(calm music)

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Chris Hernandez wrote me back.

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He\'s in a position I was in once.

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He\'s 17,

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unadopted, and on the
path to emancipation.

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- I was at school like while it happened.

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- Chris went into foster
care six years ago.

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- So I got home around 5:00 PM,
and all these cops are there

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and my younger sister wasn\'t even there.

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She had been taken to
the hospital already.

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And it\'s like this
chaotic scene, you know,

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from like a film.

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But it\'s like it\'s not,

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it\'s real life.

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- How much of that did
you actually understand?

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- An interaction happened
between my mom and her boyfriend

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where he threw a cup, and it ricocheted

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and hit my little sister in the forehead.

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Do I know that story is true?

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Not fully.

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Could he have done something else?

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Possibly. I don\'t know.

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- This is Chris\'s fifth placement.

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He\'s been with this foster
family for nearly four years.

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- Wanna make a pie?

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It\'s going to be pretty thin, yeah?

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- He\'s happy here.

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But, the system has cost
him his relationship

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with his sister.

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It happens a lot.

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It happened to me.

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- I have not seen her
for actually a long time.

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- Why is that?

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- Because she was adopted out.

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And so...

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- Like adopted out of your life

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as in the parents don\'t
want you to talk to her?

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- Yeah. Where I live,
like Redding, California.

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It\'s such a small city.

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And so I\'ve seen her in public, like

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at the mall, and it\'s like
this constant fear of like

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do I go say hi?

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- Man, I\'m sorry to hear about that.

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That can be rough.

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I had a sister that was adopted, too,

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and definitely in the same situation.

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Teens in foster care,

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like Chris, rarely get adopted.

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Only one in ten adoptions

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nationwide is of a teen.

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(live music playing)

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This is Sequoia Torres.

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She\'s about to turn 16 and beat the odds.

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(crowd singing)

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- When I started school
here, like, my teacher

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he knew that I was a foster kid, and like

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he would always joke around
like, don\'t do drugs.

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- Oh man, that\'s a bad joke.

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- And I, like, I\'d do
that fake laugh like..

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- Yeah that\'s awkward.

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- Oh-haa funny.

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But like really, I\'m too
scared to like say things

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that are like true, just
\'cause I don\'t want to

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piss any anyone off.

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- Right. You don\'t want
to piss anybody off

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and get moved again... Am I right?

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- I don\'t want to anyone
off because... like

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like when I was a kid,

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I\'d piss people off, and
they\'d just leave me.

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- Sequoia\'s foster
parents, Eric and Diane,

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want to adopt her.

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- Trying to be a part of their family

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the first few months
was really hard \'cause

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I had to figure out how
they worked, how they spoke,

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what their moods were,
how to talk to them.

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You kind of change
yourself when you move in

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with someone else to
meet their expectations.

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- It was actually Diane
who got in touch with me.

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She\'s a social worker and
has two sons of her own.

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- I think we saw her every day

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for the first week before
she was placed with us.

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And my husband said, this
feels like she\'s interviewing.

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She\'s like literally interviewing

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for a family. That was really...

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awkward.

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And I remember her saying,

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Do you like me?

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So what do you think
of me?, several times.

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And what we kept saying
is, We\'re prepared to

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be a permanent placement for you.

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If you\'re open to it, we
would like you to live

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with us, and you can live with us

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as long as you want.

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- Sequoia has two hearings coming up,

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the steps required to end her relationship

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with her birth mother
and become a legal child

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of Diane and Eric.

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- And your court hearing...

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How are you feeling about that?

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- I\'m not excited about it.

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- Why?

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- Um...

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because there\'s a slight chance

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that my mother might be
there, and I really, really

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don\'t want to see her.

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- Oh, you don\'t?

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- No, no.

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- Why is that?

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- I feel like if I see her
then I\'m just going to fall

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into a really, really big, deep depression

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like I was before.

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And I just won\'t be able
to get back out of it.

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I have always had pity for
my mother, and I\'ve never

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like opened my eyes

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and realized that she\'s
never really helped me.

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She just uses me.

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- Today is Sequoia\'s first hearing.

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- This is her.

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- For two reasons, one I\'m excited.

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- I don\'t want to see her,

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but it\'d be nice to know if
she\'s like alive and not dead.

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Like if she\'s dead, then like
I\'ll be sad for a few seconds,

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but then like get over
it and probably be like,

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Oh, it was probably for the best for her.

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But if she\'s alive, I\'ll probably be like,

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Good for her.

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Do you know if my mom\'s here or not?

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- Whoo...

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Okay.

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- Yeah.

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- Okay, okay.

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I don\'t see anything that
looks like her vehicle, so...

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- Do you know what kind
of vehicle she drives?

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Do you remember? Or does it change a lot?

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- I know that the cops found
her vehicle at like Safeway.

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- Sequoia\'s mom didn\'t show.

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- Every child and youth in
foster care is in foster care

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because they were maltreated
to the level that a court found

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that they needed to be removed

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from the custody of their parents.

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- I\'ve known Amy Lemley for years.

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She runs a California
youth advocacy group.

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- We don\'t talk about it

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because it\'s a hard thing to talk about.

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Child abuse is not something anyone

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likes to think about, but that is where

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the foster care system starts.

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Kids don\'t get assigned

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and randomly dropped into foster care.

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They get removed because
their life is in jeopardy.

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- I\'ve had some time to
read through these files.

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They answer a lot of questions

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like how I entered the system.

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The story that I was told
on how I entered was that

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my mom was a person that
could be easily manipulated.

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And then she realized she was
going down a terrible hole,

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and she wanted to almost
get out of that life.

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And my dad had made some
really bad decisions.

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It got to a point where she
was going to threaten him.

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And so, my father like
grabbed me and held a gun.

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And like that was a threat. Was my life.

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And I never knew if it was true or not.

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And from reading in here,
the person that went to look

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at the scene saw that my
mother actually did get beat.

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And there was a search warrant out,

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and they found my father

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in the bedroom with a loaded revolver.

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Foster care may have saved my
life, but it\'s a crapshoot.

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My friend Tisha is proof of that.

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She has been homeless on
and off for several years.

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And we\'re about to pull
up to where she\'s staying

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at right now, which is
a temporary shelter.

00:13:18.610 --> 00:13:21.369
I got some special permission
to have a conversation

00:13:21.370 --> 00:13:22.820
with Tisha in a private room.

00:13:24.281 --> 00:13:28.419
Tisha spent almost as much
time in foster care as I did.

00:13:28.420 --> 00:13:31.626
She aged out unadopted at 18

00:13:31.627 --> 00:13:35.469
before California extended
its benefits to 21.

00:13:35.470 --> 00:13:39.679
Now she\'s 25 and trying to
finish an undergraduate degree.

00:13:39.680 --> 00:13:42.609
- Between 12 and 18,

00:13:42.610 --> 00:13:44.137
I was in..

00:13:45.934 --> 00:13:48.934
(silently counting)

00:13:52.780 --> 00:13:55.800
about more than 10 placements.

00:13:56.800 --> 00:13:59.559
Some foster homes, some group homes.

00:13:59.560 --> 00:14:02.045
- People don\'t get it.
Tisha and I had to make

00:14:02.046 --> 00:14:05.119
critical legal decisions in our teens.

00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:10.120
- I just remember signing a
bunch of papers and like filling

00:14:10.590 --> 00:14:13.519
out like what felt like questionnaires.

00:14:13.520 --> 00:14:15.549
I wasn\'t really too sure

00:14:15.550 --> 00:14:17.022
like what was going on.

00:14:17.023 --> 00:14:20.429
It was kind of, it felt very
rushed at the very last minute.

00:14:20.430 --> 00:14:22.539
It was kind of just like a push

00:14:22.540 --> 00:14:24.199
for me to get out of the system.

00:14:24.200 --> 00:14:26.199
- How has aging out, you know,

00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:28.559
that aftercare, how has that affected you?

00:14:28.560 --> 00:14:30.148
- I was in

00:14:30.149 --> 00:14:31.999
a homeless shelter

00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:34.429
in Oakland, living in a motel

00:14:34.430 --> 00:14:38.589
at one point, couch surfing
at another point, back

00:14:38.590 --> 00:14:40.139
into another shelter.

00:14:40.140 --> 00:14:42.229
Then after that I was actually homeless

00:14:42.230 --> 00:14:44.249
for about five, six months.

00:14:44.250 --> 00:14:46.425
- Kind of it does suck,
not being able to live

00:14:46.426 --> 00:14:49.609
like a regular young adult
facing trial and error,

00:14:49.610 --> 00:14:52.113
when if you make an
error, that could possibly

00:14:52.114 --> 00:14:53.609
mean you\'re homeless.

00:14:53.610 --> 00:14:54.470
- Yeah. It\'s like

00:14:54.471 --> 00:14:57.239
with people who have
those support systems,

00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:59.959
they can just go back home,
and they just, you know,

00:14:59.960 --> 00:15:03.385
have their parents to help
provide or help assist them.

00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:06.229
- One study followed kids for

00:15:06.230 --> 00:15:07.990
several years after aging out.

00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:11.483
About one in three had been homeless.

00:15:14.600 --> 00:15:17.515
Less than 9% graduated college.

00:15:18.840 --> 00:15:21.567
And nearly half were
incarcerated at least once.

00:15:24.610 --> 00:15:27.759
- This former foster care
social worker has moved on

00:15:27.760 --> 00:15:31.253
to the prison system. He
has asked to be anonymous.

00:15:32.220 --> 00:15:33.989
- Foster care is basically
they\'re training you guys

00:15:33.990 --> 00:15:37.319
for the adult system. Jails, prisons.

00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:41.119
- So have ever seen any of your own kids

00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:45.869
that you had on your caseload
go through that system?

00:15:45.870 --> 00:15:48.813
- Yes. More often than I,
than I would like to say.

00:15:49.950 --> 00:15:53.799
And it\'s, it\'s sad because
even when I was working

00:15:53.800 --> 00:15:55.692
with them back when they were minors, I,

00:15:55.693 --> 00:15:57.919
I knew there was a big probability

00:15:57.920 --> 00:15:59.549
that they would end up there.

00:15:59.550 --> 00:16:01.009
- For older kids, you know,

00:16:01.010 --> 00:16:03.389
do you know the adoption rate

00:16:03.390 --> 00:16:08.390
or the issues with
getting a forever family?

00:16:08.700 --> 00:16:12.039
- For the most part, once

00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:13.959
the minors reach

00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:15.251
12,

00:16:15.252 --> 00:16:16.103
13,

00:16:16.103 --> 00:16:16.936
14,

00:16:16.937 --> 00:16:20.068
like preteens or teens, the probability

00:16:20.069 --> 00:16:24.219
of them getting into a forever family

00:16:24.220 --> 00:16:25.386
is very slim.

00:16:27.510 --> 00:16:28.669
- I spent most of my life

00:16:28.670 --> 00:16:31.200
with a single foster family in California.

00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:35.469
As a six-year-old, I had no idea

00:16:35.470 --> 00:16:37.859
they weren\'t my biological parents.

00:16:37.860 --> 00:16:40.206
And when they told me they
weren\'t, it like blew my mind.

00:16:40.207 --> 00:16:41.206
I freaked out. And like,

00:16:41.207 --> 00:16:45.359
I immediately asked
them, Can you adopt me?

00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:47.049
And they didn\'t want to.

00:16:47.050 --> 00:16:50.419
And I think that was the
most hardest breakup or like,

00:16:50.420 --> 00:16:53.739
like realization that was humiliating.

00:16:53.740 --> 00:16:56.389
It\'s like, not only are you not my parents

00:16:56.390 --> 00:16:57.640
but you don\'t want to be?

00:16:58.840 --> 00:17:00.399
The reason they told me is

00:17:00.400 --> 00:17:03.599
because there was still a
chance I could get adopted.

00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:05.079
When I was eight, I moved

00:17:05.080 --> 00:17:07.669
to Idaho to reunite with my sister.

00:17:07.670 --> 00:17:10.249
I went from a little Brown boy living

00:17:10.250 --> 00:17:14.029
in the Bay Area, going to Idaho.

00:17:14.030 --> 00:17:17.289
And it\'s like, it was a
really big culture shock.

00:17:17.290 --> 00:17:19.699
And then living with my sister was great,

00:17:19.700 --> 00:17:21.419
but she was going through her own issues.

00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:23.469
I thought I was hitting the lotto

00:17:23.470 --> 00:17:27.669
getting this whole fantasy
thing, a nice decent family.

00:17:27.670 --> 00:17:28.889
But then like

00:17:28.890 --> 00:17:32.799
they were constantly
frustrated with her and me.

00:17:32.800 --> 00:17:34.629
And I think she was frustrated

00:17:34.630 --> 00:17:37.729
that I was there because
I was taking her shine.

00:17:37.730 --> 00:17:39.429
I had my own issues.

00:17:39.430 --> 00:17:43.749
I acted out. My foster
parents put me on meds.

00:17:43.750 --> 00:17:45.669
I had a bad reaction.

00:17:45.670 --> 00:17:47.149
I was hospitalized.

00:17:47.150 --> 00:17:48.569
I just remember, I get picked

00:17:48.570 --> 00:17:50.766
up from a hospital and the dad is quiet.

00:17:50.767 --> 00:17:53.049
He has his glasses on, his Oakleys.

00:17:53.050 --> 00:17:54.739
I can\'t even see his expressions.

00:17:54.740 --> 00:17:57.559
The mother won\'t look at me at all.

00:17:57.560 --> 00:17:59.809
They don\'t really hug
me when they pick me up.

00:17:59.810 --> 00:18:03.189
And then like, they take me
to this really ugly building.

00:18:03.190 --> 00:18:05.609
They, they like open the trunk.

00:18:05.610 --> 00:18:07.719
I didn\'t realize that my
stuff was in the trunk.

00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:10.469
And I was like, Hey, why is my stuff here?

00:18:10.470 --> 00:18:13.059
And they\'re all like, Here\'s
what, here\'s your necessities.

00:18:13.060 --> 00:18:14.119
We\'ll mail the rest.

00:18:14.120 --> 00:18:15.429
And they\'re talking to an eight year old

00:18:15.430 --> 00:18:17.329
like I know what that means.

00:18:17.330 --> 00:18:18.354
And then like

00:18:18.355 --> 00:18:21.629
I just remember the mom
getting really sad, like,

00:18:21.630 --> 00:18:23.739
We\'re sorry. We did everything we could.

00:18:23.740 --> 00:18:25.955
And I was like, So that\'s it?

00:18:25.956 --> 00:18:26.789
You\'re giving up on me?

00:18:26.790 --> 00:18:29.399
I wish like, as a kid, I was
able to say that to them,

00:18:29.400 --> 00:18:33.009
but I don\'t have those
communication skills.

00:18:33.010 --> 00:18:34.719
They don\'t teach you how to love yourself.

00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:36.509
They don\'t teach you how
to stand up for yourself.

00:18:36.510 --> 00:18:38.934
They just teach you to
change for those people.

00:18:38.935 --> 00:18:40.159
- Hello?

00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:41.799
- Hi, Diane. It\'s Lynne.

00:18:41.800 --> 00:18:43.582
- Hi. What\'s the address?

00:18:43.583 --> 00:18:45.359
- It\'s Sequoia big hearing.

00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:48.233
She\'s getting a family. Adoptive parents.

00:18:49.570 --> 00:18:51.799
- We\'re on our way to my court hearing.

00:18:51.800 --> 00:18:53.780
Well, I guess our court hearing now.

00:18:55.870 --> 00:19:00.069
I guess it\'s officially
terminating parental rights.

00:19:00.070 --> 00:19:02.857
- Her mom left on her
birthday last year. So.

00:19:02.858 --> 00:19:04.429
- Yeah.

00:19:04.430 --> 00:19:07.519
- It\'s, to me, it seems
a little bit symbolic

00:19:07.520 --> 00:19:09.630
that here we are a year later, and,

00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:12.239
you know,

00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:14.313
the case is getting closed.

00:19:15.522 --> 00:19:16.629
I don\'t know how you feel about that?

00:19:16.630 --> 00:19:20.569
- Just like, wow, it\'s been a full year

00:19:20.570 --> 00:19:22.885
that she\'s been gone

00:19:22.886 --> 00:19:24.610
and look where I\'m at now.

00:19:26.690 --> 00:19:29.139
She\'s supposed to be at the court dates,

00:19:29.140 --> 00:19:32.825
but like, if she shows up
to court, there\'s a very big

00:19:32.826 --> 00:19:36.279
possibility that she\'ll
probably end up getting arrested

00:19:36.280 --> 00:19:40.030
because of like drugs,
abandonment charges.

00:19:40.031 --> 00:19:44.139
I don\'t know what she\'s
done in the past year.

00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:47.719
So like you never know,
but she\'ll probably like

00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:51.349
end up getting like charged
or arrested or something.

00:19:51.350 --> 00:19:53.259
- They\'ve gone out to
homeless camps looking

00:19:53.260 --> 00:19:57.393
for her, and they haven\'t
been able to locate her.

00:20:04.840 --> 00:20:06.029
- I\'m so used to sleeping

00:20:06.030 --> 00:20:08.719
on a mattress on the floor, just fending

00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:12.359
for myself, or being in
a cockroach infested home

00:20:12.360 --> 00:20:16.329
or living in motels or
spending the nights in cars.

00:20:16.330 --> 00:20:18.570
So, I want stability.

00:20:19.780 --> 00:20:20.896
- Sequoia, how you doing?

00:20:20.897 --> 00:20:22.199
- I\'m doing pretty good.

00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:26.523
- This hearing is set
for a 366.26 hearing.

00:20:26.524 --> 00:20:28.822
- Kelly Bentley, on behalf
of mother, Nicole Torres,

00:20:28.823 --> 00:20:29.999
who is not present.

00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:32.789
- The department did
exercise due diligence

00:20:32.790 --> 00:20:36.779
in trying to locate the
mother. The court\'s aware

00:20:36.780 --> 00:20:40.059
that your biological father
died when you were young.

00:20:40.060 --> 00:20:42.159
- Why I\'m scared to age out of the system

00:20:42.160 --> 00:20:44.259
is because that\'s what my mom did.

00:20:44.260 --> 00:20:46.476
My mom was a foster child.

00:20:46.477 --> 00:20:48.169
- The court finds by clear and convincing

00:20:48.170 --> 00:20:51.015
evidence that Sequoia is
adoptable, that she is

00:20:51.016 --> 00:20:54.419
both generally and specifically adaptable.

00:20:54.420 --> 00:20:55.849
And

00:20:55.850 --> 00:20:57.400
to be straightforward with you,

00:20:58.280 --> 00:21:03.119
a lot of 16 year olds are
not generally adoptable.

00:21:03.120 --> 00:21:04.090
- Really?

00:21:04.091 --> 00:21:08.439
- Yeah, but you\'re, you\'re

00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:09.663
absolutely adoptable.

00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:14.519
I don\'t really tell
people that very often,

00:21:14.520 --> 00:21:17.589
but kids that are going
through adolescence, unless

00:21:17.590 --> 00:21:20.439
there\'s an actual family
that wants to adopt them,

00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:23.449
it\'s pretty hard legally to
find that they\'re generally

00:21:23.450 --> 00:21:26.710
adaptable. The court hereby terminates

00:21:27.870 --> 00:21:28.959
your mother\'s

00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:31.819
parental rights and anybody
who alleges to be your

00:21:31.820 --> 00:21:36.307
father and declares you free for adoption.

00:21:36.308 --> 00:21:37.690
(clapping)

00:21:37.691 --> 00:21:40.009
- Why the clapping?

00:21:40.010 --> 00:21:42.726
- We clap whenever anything
good happens in this court

00:21:42.727 --> 00:21:44.585
because it doesn\'t happen very often.

00:21:44.586 --> 00:21:48.036
So, we get really excited
when anything good happens.

00:21:50.950 --> 00:21:54.367
- It\'s like they\'ve never clapped before.

00:21:56.703 --> 00:21:57.729
I almost started crying

00:21:57.730 --> 00:22:00.399
when she said, You\'re getting adopted.

00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:02.859
But like, then I also
almost started crying when

00:22:02.860 --> 00:22:05.249
like it was official, that parental...

00:22:05.250 --> 00:22:06.083
- Yeah.

00:22:06.083 --> 00:22:06.916
- Rights.

00:22:06.917 --> 00:22:08.139
- That\'s when I started. I mean...

00:22:08.140 --> 00:22:10.438
Yeah. My eyes got really teary.

00:22:10.439 --> 00:22:11.650
- I was just like.

00:22:11.651 --> 00:22:14.251
- You\'ve been very brave
throughout all this.

00:22:15.642 --> 00:22:16.775
- Thank you.

00:22:16.776 --> 00:22:18.785
Don\'t, don\'t, don\'t cry.

00:22:18.786 --> 00:22:21.119
You\'re going to make me cry.

00:22:22.658 --> 00:22:24.857
- I don\'t think the judge meant any harm.

00:22:24.858 --> 00:22:27.548
Generally adoptable and
specifically adoptable,

00:22:27.549 --> 00:22:31.085
they are legal terms.
But they still bother me.

00:22:31.086 --> 00:22:34.479
If people aren\'t generally
adoptable or specifically

00:22:34.480 --> 00:22:37.959
adoptable, you know, what
does that mean for my case?

00:22:37.960 --> 00:22:40.609
Or what does that mean
for my siblings that went

00:22:40.610 --> 00:22:42.017
through the system?

00:22:42.018 --> 00:22:43.709
Generally adoptable and not adoptable.

00:22:43.710 --> 00:22:46.028
That just seems like a cop out.

00:22:47.110 --> 00:22:48.110
Yeah.

00:22:49.632 --> 00:22:50.550
Seems like a cop out.

00:22:50.550 --> 00:22:51.550
- 3..2..1..

00:22:52.497 --> 00:22:53.928
- The day after the hearing,

00:22:53.929 --> 00:22:56.299
Sequoia celebrates her Sweet 16.

00:22:56.300 --> 00:22:59.546
- And a one and a two
and a one, two, three!

00:22:59.547 --> 00:23:01.319
(birthday song)

00:23:01.320 --> 00:23:04.649
- At a certain age, they
just give up on you.

00:23:04.650 --> 00:23:07.729
There\'s a label on teen foster kids

00:23:07.730 --> 00:23:10.383
that says that we\'re bad.

00:23:15.152 --> 00:23:17.833
You\'re not invited to my birthday party.

00:23:18.910 --> 00:23:22.719
There\'s these willing,
adoptive parents who want to

00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.729
adopt kids, but have
waited like years to get

00:23:26.730 --> 00:23:29.349
like that seven year old or that baby or

00:23:29.350 --> 00:23:32.560
that three-year-old, when
literally, if you wanted to

00:23:32.561 --> 00:23:34.649
adopt a teen, you can get one

00:23:34.650 --> 00:23:38.538
in the first 15 minutes
that you\'re able to adopt.

00:23:39.590 --> 00:23:40.973
Okay! Pictures.

00:23:40.974 --> 00:23:41.974
- Pictures.

00:23:42.650 --> 00:23:44.069
- All kids are adoptable.

00:23:44.070 --> 00:23:45.479
It\'s just a matter of you

00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:47.691
wanting to work with them.

00:23:49.700 --> 00:23:51.159
- How much cheese should I grate?

00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:53.576
- How ever much you want, honey.

00:23:53.577 --> 00:23:54.901
- The thought of adoption now

00:23:54.902 --> 00:23:56.609
it\'s like, why would I do that?

00:23:56.610 --> 00:23:58.909
Trust is hard, you know?

00:23:58.910 --> 00:24:02.119
- Chris\'s foster family
actually offered to adopt him,

00:24:02.120 --> 00:24:04.799
but he turned them down. Two years ago,

00:24:04.800 --> 00:24:08.609
Chris started having visits
with his biological mom.

00:24:08.610 --> 00:24:10.309
Was there ever a question

00:24:10.310 --> 00:24:12.909
about possibly reunifying
with your mother?

00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:15.920
- No. Like she, she
when I was first placed

00:24:15.921 --> 00:24:18.659
into foster care with my
sister, she was in a program.

00:24:18.660 --> 00:24:23.129
Right. And she didn\'t
complete the program.

00:24:23.130 --> 00:24:25.319
She didn\'t test clean.

00:24:25.320 --> 00:24:26.399
- How\'d you deal with that?

00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:28.419
- It wasn\'t fun to hear that like, oh,

00:24:28.420 --> 00:24:29.826
she she\'s still continuing to do drugs.

00:24:29.827 --> 00:24:32.269
That\'s, that\'s not fun.

00:24:32.270 --> 00:24:36.189
But, but now there\'s no
possibility of me going back,

00:24:36.190 --> 00:24:39.419
but there\'s a possibility for
us to grow a relationship.

00:24:39.420 --> 00:24:42.405
- Do you feel like you, you
choose to not get adopted

00:24:42.406 --> 00:24:45.114
as like a part of like
honoring your mother?

00:24:45.115 --> 00:24:46.959
Is that why you choose not to?

00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:48.419
- What if I do get adopted?

00:24:48.420 --> 00:24:49.659
Who am I going to call mom?

00:24:49.660 --> 00:24:53.559
You know, like, and is my mom\'s,
like my biological mother,

00:24:53.560 --> 00:24:54.736
Like, is she going to be mad?

00:24:54.737 --> 00:24:55.737
You know?

00:24:57.510 --> 00:24:59.329
And I don\'t know.

00:24:59.330 --> 00:25:01.749
Like, and so that\'s
definitely a big reason why

00:25:01.750 --> 00:25:04.554
I wouldn\'t get adopted because
I don\'t want her to like

00:25:04.555 --> 00:25:06.864
be disappointed or something like that.

00:25:06.865 --> 00:25:09.609
Because I chose another family.

00:25:09.610 --> 00:25:12.863
- Chris has a foster family
that wants to adopt him.

00:25:12.864 --> 00:25:16.259
I grew up in a foster family
that never had any intention

00:25:16.260 --> 00:25:17.739
of adopting me.

00:25:17.740 --> 00:25:20.202
And here we are in my neighborhood.

00:25:20.203 --> 00:25:21.433
So I\'m not even from this place.

00:25:21.434 --> 00:25:24.852
I was just raised here, which
kind of makes me from here?

00:25:24.853 --> 00:25:25.853
But.

00:25:27.610 --> 00:25:29.396
Never felt like my city.

00:25:30.781 --> 00:25:33.313
This is Union City, California.

00:25:33.314 --> 00:25:35.599
I went to high school here.

00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:37.949
I ran track here.

00:25:37.950 --> 00:25:40.519
This is where I lived with the
foster family who took care

00:25:40.520 --> 00:25:44.849
of me on and off for 15 years.
After the failed adoption

00:25:44.850 --> 00:25:47.099
in Idaho, they took me back.

00:25:47.100 --> 00:25:48.839
I\'m clearly not going to get adopted.

00:25:48.840 --> 00:25:50.981
I\'m almost 12.

00:25:50.982 --> 00:25:53.329
It was like awkward, because
they\'ve already said they don\'t

00:25:53.330 --> 00:25:56.209
want to be my parents, but
I\'m kind of at this point

00:25:56.210 --> 00:26:00.495
freeloading, because it\'s
like, I like my life here.

00:26:00.496 --> 00:26:03.299
I have decent friends.

00:26:03.300 --> 00:26:07.392
I have social status
that\'s building, you know.

00:26:07.393 --> 00:26:09.283
It was unspoken. But it\'s like,

00:26:09.284 --> 00:26:12.774
just let me finish my time, you know.

00:26:12.775 --> 00:26:14.442
I\'m about to graduate.

00:26:14.443 --> 00:26:17.375
After that, I\'ll be my own problem.

00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:25.719
I met my biological mother when I was 14,

00:26:25.720 --> 00:26:28.719
and we\'ve managed to build a relationship.

00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:31.995
But we\'ve never talked
about what happened.

00:26:34.094 --> 00:26:35.469
I\'m not too sure how this will go down

00:26:35.470 --> 00:26:38.449
because I\'ve tried to
talked to her three times

00:26:38.450 --> 00:26:43.442
about foster care and just
kind of our situation.

00:26:43.443 --> 00:26:45.579
But I think it\'s different now.

00:26:45.580 --> 00:26:48.019
So we\'re coming up on her
house right there on the left.

00:26:48.020 --> 00:26:51.709
It\'s the green house with the
red shutters. And, she\'s home!

00:26:51.710 --> 00:26:52.733
As well as my sister.

00:26:53.890 --> 00:26:54.890
Okay.

00:27:02.292 --> 00:27:03.592
- She\'s going to show you.

00:27:05.742 --> 00:27:08.175
- Three? Wow!

00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:12.629
- We also need to think about parents.

00:27:12.630 --> 00:27:15.428
It pretty much devastates the life

00:27:15.429 --> 00:27:18.997
of a person forever when
their child is removed.

00:27:18.998 --> 00:27:20.246
- Oh, that\'s me.

00:27:20.247 --> 00:27:21.454
What was that like when I was a

00:27:21.455 --> 00:27:22.455
little nino?

00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:26.939
- And I know they\'re kind of
like the bad guys in this story

00:27:26.940 --> 00:27:29.713
but they are broken, too,
through that process.

00:27:40.772 --> 00:27:42.609
- If I\'d never been separated from my mom,

00:27:42.610 --> 00:27:44.249
I\'d still speak Spanish.

00:27:44.250 --> 00:27:47.381
Now, I need a family member to translate.

00:28:00.620 --> 00:28:02.220
Were you trying to like

00:28:03.460 --> 00:28:07.459
change your lifestyle or
your, yourself at that time?

00:28:07.460 --> 00:28:09.403
And he didn\'t want you to do anything?

00:28:12.750 --> 00:28:16.219
You felt like you got better after he went

00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:20.683
to jail or after he, you
got to try to get us back?

00:28:30.460 --> 00:28:31.989
Do you feel like I was happier

00:28:31.990 --> 00:28:34.978
with you than I was in foster care?

00:28:41.040 --> 00:28:43.249
Yeah. Did I ever say

00:28:43.250 --> 00:28:46.348
why do I have to go or anything like that?

00:29:03.862 --> 00:29:04.935
Did you get, like,

00:29:04.936 --> 00:29:07.062
the help that you needed
to get me and Ulises back?

00:29:22.499 --> 00:29:25.499
Did it hurt you when they said that?

00:29:39.999 --> 00:29:43.174
Did they at least, like,

00:29:45.713 --> 00:29:48.630
did they give us a moment at all?

00:29:56.387 --> 00:29:59.054
I never got the letters.

00:30:12.554 --> 00:30:14.102
Yeah. I never got the letters.

00:30:14.103 --> 00:30:16.619
I wish I could have gotten those letters.

00:30:16.620 --> 00:30:20.586
I just wanted to feel like a normal boy.

00:30:32.675 --> 00:30:33.904
- I love you so much.

00:30:33.905 --> 00:30:35.572
- I love you, too, Mom.

00:30:40.682 --> 00:30:41.798
- Bye!

00:30:43.450 --> 00:30:45.409
- I didn\'t get adopted or reunified,

00:30:45.410 --> 00:30:49.249
but there\'s still something
special to salvage there.

00:30:49.250 --> 00:30:51.667
And that\'s what I\'m doing.

00:30:51.668 --> 00:30:53.226
That\'s all you can do.

00:31:00.114 --> 00:31:02.143
Tisha\'s no longer homeless

00:31:02.144 --> 00:31:04.143
and plans to become a paralegal.

00:31:05.730 --> 00:31:08.929
Chris left Redding to go to
university in Sacramento.

00:31:08.930 --> 00:31:09.989
He checks in regularly

00:31:09.990 --> 00:31:12.829
with his foster family.

00:31:12.830 --> 00:31:15.139
Sequoia has officially been adopted.

00:31:15.140 --> 00:31:19.242
She\'s a senior in high
school, and says life\'s good.

00:31:19.243 --> 00:31:21.853
- I don\'t want to tell
people my life story over

00:31:21.854 --> 00:31:22.687
and over again.

00:31:22.688 --> 00:31:25.461
I\'ve lived here, I\'ve lived
here, I\'ve lived here.

00:31:25.462 --> 00:31:27.996
There\'s just a certain line.

00:31:27.997 --> 00:31:31.687
And like, here\'s the line.

00:31:31.688 --> 00:31:33.245
I\'m across that line

00:31:33.246 --> 00:31:35.157
like way over there,

00:31:35.158 --> 00:31:37.826
like the healthy, of the healthy line.

00:31:39.939 --> 00:31:42.909
- And as for me, I\'m headed
to SF state for my junior year

00:31:42.910 --> 00:31:44.329
of college.

00:31:44.330 --> 00:31:47.589
I have an apartment of my own
in Oakland, and I\'m in touch

00:31:47.590 --> 00:31:50.609
with my foster family
and biological family.

00:31:50.610 --> 00:31:52.288
I care about them a lot.

00:31:53.500 --> 00:31:56.609
For those of us who age out
of foster care, things don\'t

00:31:56.610 --> 00:31:59.719
always happen the way we
might\'ve wished, but we

00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:02.793
make the most of them as they are.

00:32:05.720 --> 00:32:07.387
Come on. Story time.