WEBVTT

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I thought that I actually caused my brother to have Cerebral Palsy.

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As an infant, when I was coming out of the womb,

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did I move in a way that did something to cause that?

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It was a question that felt very real to me back then.

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And even as a young adult I still felt that.

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Did I take all the nutrients from him?

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That maybe I was trying to push my way free first in the womb.

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It was a steady guilt that got worse over time.

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When I stand next to my brother,

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I\'m the example of what life could have been like for him.

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And I\'m ashamed that I have all the abilities and all the strengths that he doesn\'t have.

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He could have been just like me.

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He could have been better than me.

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As we get older, the distance becomes greater and greater between

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how Nick and I actually are.

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Like I\'m moving forward

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and he\'s back there.

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I basically just wake up and take a shower.

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Go downstairs, have

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a cup of coffee.

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I sometimes watch a DVD or two.

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I don\'t do anything really.

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Being here in my parent’s house

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makes me feel lonely and depressed.

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lonely and depressed.

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The only

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thing I do outside of the house

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is Knights of Columbus stuff.

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Which always put me in a good mood.

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Here’s my sword.

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It’s real.

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Oh, you’re out.

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You be a good boy for daddy.

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Dad. Dad.

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I’ll see you.

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I’m going to the Knights.

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Bye.

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When we were kids, we were together all the time.

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Because I’m always on the go, we don\'t have that time together anymore.

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I’m a freelance photojournalist.

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I go into other people\'s lives

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I poke around and ask questions.

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I\'m struck by by stories that deal with reality

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and don\'t try and sugarcoat it.

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To do that kind of work it takes

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an awful lot of commitment.

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Early on, the photographs I was making,

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they’re my grief.

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And it is my way of processing through my guil

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Through my anger.

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I have so many photographs of him in pain.

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There’s a lot more to him than just that.

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What’s up, dude?

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How are you?

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OK.

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You going to be able to eat today?

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Yeah.

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Cool, I’ll get the door.

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You alright?

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For me, the pressure comes with the question of what’s going to happen next for Nick.

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How you doing man?

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When our parents aren’t there anymore who’s going to be there?

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Is that like last week?

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Are you bruised back there?

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You fall inside? Yeah.

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Where were you?

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In the back yard.

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On the cement.

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Yeah.

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You have a coffee here?

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I say to dad,

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you guys are getting older.

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You’re not going to be able care for him

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the way that he needs to be cared for.

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I think I’ve got ten years left at best,

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to make my living as a photojournalist.

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I don\'t think that this industry can actually support me

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in a way that I can actually support my brother.

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Bless us our

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Lord for these thy gifts for which we are about to receive,

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Christ our Lord. Amen.

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I feel like the choice really isn\'t even there.

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Of course I’m going to take care of him.

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Because that’s what family is.

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I wish that I wasn’t a disabled brother

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that he had to look out for.

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Alright, dude, see you at the house.

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Alright. Watch his hand.

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I see it.

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Alright, see you there.

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It hurts because I feel like I don\'t have the independence

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that I want out of life.

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Because I’ve never been on my own

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and I really would love to try it.

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I seriously want to have

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a relationship with someone that cares for me

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and who sees me for who I am.

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I have two hamsters and I treat them like they\'re my kids,

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but it would be nice someday to have real kids of my own.

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Have you found anybody?

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On these, on eHarmony or whatever else you’re on?

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Oh, I found a lot of people I\'m interested in.

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Have you contacted them?

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Yeah. They just don\'t contact back.

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Maybe you should just come out and say, you know, I have Cerebral Palsy.

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I have it down below.

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Alright, so you say it down here that I\'m sorry that I don\'t drive.

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I have some major health problems.

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I was born with Cerebral Palsy and then later on in life I got diabetes.

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Please don\'t let that stop you from getting to know me.

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Maybe you should say it at the beginning.

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I was born with Cerebral Palsy.

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You think it\'s OK to say it like that instead of waiting until the end?

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Whatever it takes to get a match.

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A good looking one.

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A good looking one.

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I don\'t want ugly kids.

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Hey.

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We\'re trying to make it kosher for the ladies is what we\'re trying to figure out.

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You don\'t make it kosher because what you do is you

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maybe find somebody who has the same condition.

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I really didn\'t want to look for someone who had Cerebral Palsy.

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Because I didn\'t want to take care of them.

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All right, occupation: seeking employment,

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I mean what do you, what do you do there?

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You’re not seeking employment.

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So what are we going to put?

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Seeking disability.

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Seeking a free ride.

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Seeking a woman who will make a lot of money so that I don\'t have to work.

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Seeking someone who will support me.

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I\'m a bum.

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You\'re not a bum, dude.

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I don\'t have any money. I live at home. I\'m a bum.

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Dude, that\'s the life, man.

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I think about moving back in myself and mooching off mom and dad

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I want to get out. I want to get out.

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My brother is well enough to look at the world around him

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and understand what he\'s missing.

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He gets it.

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But he\'s not capable of understanding how to do things to get what he wants.

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He won\'t look at himself and see himself for who he really is.

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That Is a failure on his part.

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But that comes from his experiences growing up.

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You can do anything, Nick.

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Bullshit. Like,

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how can you do that to somebody?

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My mom tells me

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it’s eleven o\'clock.

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You have to be upstairs now.

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That\'s my bug-a-boo, up in your room at eleven o\'clock.

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You don\'t have to go to bed, but he wakes me up.

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I want to leave because my parents treat me like a little kid.

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I’m obviously not a little kid.

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I’m a man, really.

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Oh no. No, no, no.

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Daddy will always love you.

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Mom.

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They’re all black.

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Oh, poor little guy.

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Nick, don’t drop him on top of it all.

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Don’t let him fall, Nick.

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Why don\'t you let him stay in his cage?

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Nice and soft bedding in there for him.

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He’s not even scrubbing himself the way he used to.

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Well, he’s sick.

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It’s sad to say but I think he’ll be gone by the morning.

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Yeah, could be.

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I really hate this part.

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I should

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put my other hamsters in here, too.

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What do you mean?

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They’re dead but they’re in my room.

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How long have they been dead for?

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A few months.

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They’re in a coffee can.

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Is the camera still going? Yeah.

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Dude, that’s disgusting, man.

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You should have just told me to come over and dig a hole or something.

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That’s not good for you to be keeping dead animals in your bedroom.

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You’re in a much better place

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with all your other brothers and sisters.

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In the name of the

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the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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Chris came out screaming and yelling like any baby.

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And Nick came out just kind of quietly

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and then they kind of descended upon him.

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And he stops breathing.

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And that amount of time that he wasn\'t breathing

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changed the course of his life forever.

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Nicholas did everything a couple of months after Christopher did.

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I would call him “my repeat”

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because if I missed Christopher doing something,

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I\'d get to see Nick do it.

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And I didn\'t think anything of it,

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but the doctor didn\'t like it.

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We took him to a neurologist who started doing tests on him

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and it was basically a process of elimination.

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It\'s got to be Cerebral Palsy.

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A palsy is when like you shake

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and cerebral is your brain.

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The brain is not sending the correct messages to the muscles.

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There’s many forms of it.

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I have a very, very mild case of it.

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The misconception would be he\'s retarded.

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And he\'s not. His brain functions are fine.

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They can cure some cancers. They can help heart disease

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but they have no clue about Cerebral Palsy. Nothing.

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Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

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Happy birthday you old geezer. Happy birthday to you.

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Open your present.

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His freshman year in high school is when the first major growth spurt hit.

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He\'s not just having a cramp and we have to go put him to bed.

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He\'s having a seizure-like cramp and he might really hurt himself.

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It was three solid months of him thrashing uncontrollably.

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I remember sitting on top of him and he just lifted me right off

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and I was amazed by it.

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It was like something possessed him.

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He would lift his head up, bang his head down.

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He\'d be biting on his tongue.

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He could basically strangle himself that way.

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He was just like out of control.

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We\'re not talking for like five minutes.

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We\'re talking like for hours.

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And then in the middle of that, you don\'t know if it’s ever going to end.

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I’ve been wanting to move out since I was 19.

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I\'m on a few waiting lists.

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They’re for senior housing.

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The apartments are also for disabled people.

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I haven\'t gotten any call backs.

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Like, jeez,

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when will these people die so I can get in there.

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A lot of times in these senior housings,

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they have a certain number of handicapped units.


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There may be a dozen of them but you\'ve got ten dozen people waiting for them.

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So we have him on the list.

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It\'s not

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like we\'re trying to hold him back and it\'s not like we\'re being overprotective.

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It’s like our hands are tied as well.

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But is he mature enough to do it?

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I don\'t know.

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I don\'t think he understands that

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even if he were on his own he would have to abide by rules.

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I just can’t live like this anymore.

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I can’t talk

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to my parents without

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them getting angry or mad.

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What was your sugar?

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Take a Bolus.

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I took a correction.

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And then take...

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No, I’m not.

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Because every time I go to sleep, I drop at night.

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So I’m not taking another Bolus.

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I didn\'t say to. You didn\'t let me finish.

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You did, too.

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I did not.

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I said for you to take a
Bolus before you ate this.

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And I said, or what I was going to say,
was for you to test yourself in two hours

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to see what you look like. That’s all.

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That’s what she told you to do.

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It makes me

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all bunched up in here.

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It’s not completely correct the way that he sees his relationship with my parents.

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It\'s hard to like try and love
someone who is just

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so miserable back to you.

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And I don\'t think he blames them,

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but he certainly takes it out on them.

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My mother said, “I gave him my young years.

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I gave him my twenties, my thirties,
my forties, and now my fifties.

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I\'m not giving my golden years.”

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My parents are just kind of done.

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I think my parents have given
so much, that now they’re tired.

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I think the way they have dealt
with it is they\'ve said,

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“I\'m going to live my life now.”

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They are tired of taking care of me.

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It\'s time to cut the umbilical cord.

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I went to New York

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to meet with my doctor.

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He told me what deep brain stimulation was.

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And it would help me with living alone.

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This surgery is geared towards those with Parkinson’s.

00:24:02.691 --> 00:24:04.526
His arm is cramped up this way,

00:24:04.526 --> 00:24:05.694
maybe it’ll come down.

00:24:05.694 --> 00:24:09.739
The goal was to get him off some of these meds because

00:24:09.739 --> 00:24:13.118
that alters your personality.

00:24:14.953 --> 00:24:20.208
At best it\'ll, help.
At worst, it\'ll do nothing.

00:24:20.208 --> 00:24:25.297
I asked them, what could\'ve been like
some side effects from the surgery.

00:24:25.297 --> 00:24:30.010
They go, “Oh well like there\'s side
effects with every kind of surgery.”


00:24:30.010 --> 00:24:35.056
Well actually, what could happen is he could have a brain hemorrhage during the surgery

00:24:35.056 --> 00:24:36.224
and he could die.

00:24:36.224 --> 00:24:40.729
When I said to my brother, “Do you know what that is?”

00:24:40.729 --> 00:24:43.565
And he goes, “Well, not really.”

00:24:44.774 --> 00:24:49.112
I was like, “Dude, a brain hemorrhage could kill you tomorrow.

00:24:49.112 --> 00:24:52.157
Like have you even thought about that?”

00:24:52.157 --> 00:24:56.495
He\'s the one who signed all the forms at the hospital.

00:24:56.495 --> 00:24:59.247
He didn\'t read them.

00:24:59.247 --> 00:25:04.127
I\'m not demonizing my parents. I\'m not blaming them.

00:25:04.127 --> 00:25:07.631
But it\'s also really important to let him be a part of the process

00:25:07.631 --> 00:25:10.884
and explain what could happen.

00:25:18.308 --> 00:25:22.812
They implanted electrodes into his brain,

00:25:22.812 --> 00:25:26.441
shimmied those wires down his
neck into this device.

00:25:26.441 --> 00:25:30.987
And that machine they are able to
control remotely

00:25:30.987 --> 00:25:35.200
to increase or decrease
stimulation into his brain.

00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:39.162
Every six months or so

00:25:39.162 --> 00:25:41.665
he goes to the doctor and they put
this device over his chest

00:25:41.665 --> 00:25:43.959
and they change the settings.

00:25:43.959 --> 00:25:48.421
So he’s like a medical work in progress.

00:25:48.421 --> 00:25:50.799
How do you feel?

00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:52.968
I’m doing OK.

00:25:52.968 --> 00:25:55.345
OK.

00:25:55.345 --> 00:25:59.307
Now with the right hand open and close it.
Like this.

00:26:01.726 --> 00:26:03.812
Pretty good. Left hand.

00:26:05.105 --> 00:26:07.357
So you get some mirror movements over here.

00:26:07.357 --> 00:26:08.858
Why don\'t you hop on down?

00:26:12.070 --> 00:26:14.489
He’s worse off now than he’s ever been.

00:26:14.489 --> 00:26:16.575
The way that he walks is worse.

00:26:16.575 --> 00:26:19.286
His speech is slower.

00:26:23.498 --> 00:26:26.084
I can’t.


00:26:26.084 --> 00:26:29.546
OK, let’s go turn it back on
and not make him suffer.

00:26:31.006 --> 00:26:34.259
That’s what happened like, well,
when he fell last time.

00:26:34.259 --> 00:26:35.677
He’s got a spasm.

00:26:35.677 --> 00:26:37.804
That’s what I was talking about.

00:26:37.804 --> 00:26:41.600
The dystonia just came on like
gangbusters.

00:26:41.600 --> 00:26:46.396
You know, it as like you saw it a
little bit in the face,
which wasn’t so bad and then

00:26:46.396 --> 00:26:47.355
he just froze up.

00:26:47.355 --> 00:26:49.983
Let’s just go have a sit down
for a little bit.

00:26:53.320 --> 00:26:57.324
And then he started to get those
seizure like cramps

00:26:57.324 --> 00:27:02.245
and so it was like right back to where
it was in high school.

00:27:02.245 --> 00:27:10.712
My name is Karen. Capozziello.
C-a-p-o-z-z-i-e-l-l-o.

00:27:10.712 --> 00:27:14.633
203-877

00:27:14.633 --> 00:27:18.845
Shit.

00:27:18.845 --> 00:27:21.890
Nicholas.

00:27:21.890 --> 00:27:23.016
What?

00:27:23.016 --> 00:27:26.645
No, she’s stating your name.

00:27:32.984 --> 00:27:35.987
Stick your tongue in your mouth.

00:27:35.987 --> 00:27:38.573
Shit.

00:27:38.573 --> 00:27:42.494
Get in there, bro. Get in…

00:27:45.038 --> 00:27:46.164
Is he bleeding?

00:27:46.164 --> 00:27:47.666
Yep.

00:27:47.666 --> 00:27:50.585
Oh, shit.

00:27:59.511 --> 00:28:02.597
Dude, keep your tongue in there.
Is his tongue in there?

00:28:02.597 --> 00:28:04.432
Yes.

00:28:07.769 --> 00:28:09.521
Keep your tongue in there, bro.

00:28:20.281 --> 00:28:22.992
Mom, is he grabbing you?

00:28:22.992 --> 00:28:25.829
He’s pulling.

00:28:29.249 --> 00:28:32.711
Stop sticking your tongue out.
Stop it.

00:28:34.129 --> 00:28:35.880
Is it in there?
Mom, are you alright?

00:28:35.880 --> 00:28:38.550
Uh huh. Who should I be

00:28:38.550 --> 00:28:42.053
seeing? Can you help me at all?


00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:57.944
Why didn\'t my doctor call me?
Why didn\'t Dr. McAllister call me?

00:28:57.944 --> 00:29:04.242
Well what about the doctor,
it’s a woman doctor who treats
the deep brain stimulation?

00:29:04.242 --> 00:29:08.496
I don\'t know her name.
That sounds like it is.


00:29:08.496 --> 00:29:12.333
She’s at least seen him once.

00:29:20.508 --> 00:29:21.634
Did you hang up on them?

00:29:21.634 --> 00:29:24.304
Yeah, what do you expect me to do?
I never met your son.

00:29:24.304 --> 00:29:27.557
How am I supposed to help him?
I don\'t know.

00:29:27.557 --> 00:29:29.684
Assholes. He’s the doctor on call.

00:29:32.270 --> 00:29:37.484
Oh my funny bone!

00:29:40.695 --> 00:29:43.990
Hello.

00:29:43.990 --> 00:29:48.578
Again? Alright, what hospital do
we take him to,
since you can’t really help us?


00:29:48.578 --> 00:29:53.124
What hospital should I be taking him to?

00:29:55.168 --> 00:29:56.920
The closest hospital?

00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:59.714
You don\'t have any opinion that there
would be a good hospital

00:29:59.714 --> 00:30:03.802
around here that could treat somebody with…

00:30:03.802 --> 00:30:06.679
Thank you. Assholes.

00:30:06.679 --> 00:30:07.388
Was it the same doctor?

00:30:07.388 --> 00:30:11.017
Well, you could go to Milford hospital
because it’s the closest one.

00:30:12.811 --> 00:30:14.270
9-1-1?

00:30:14.270 --> 00:30:15.688
Yup.

00:30:31.079 --> 00:30:34.165
We are going to give you an IV, OK?

00:30:39.671 --> 00:30:41.548
See you at the hospital, bro.

00:30:41.548 --> 00:30:44.217
Hopefully.

00:30:47.178 --> 00:30:49.639
You remember what happened?

00:30:49.639 --> 00:31:00.567
I really don\'t remember all that much
because I black out.

00:31:00.567 --> 00:31:11.494
What if something like
this happens to me in the future

00:31:11.494 --> 00:31:16.040
like when I\'m on my own.

00:31:16.040 --> 00:31:25.925
I probably would kill myself really.

00:31:33.600 --> 00:31:37.353
I feel like
I\'m still mommy to him

00:31:37.353 --> 00:31:39.981
because he is so dependant,

00:31:39.981 --> 00:31:42.400
for everything really.

00:31:44.944 --> 00:31:50.325
He wouldn\'t agree with that,

00:31:50.325 --> 00:31:55.204
but we\'re always kind of like saving him
and bailing him out.

00:31:55.204 --> 00:32:01.586
So in that respect it\'s frustrating to
have a thirty-five-year-old child.

00:32:11.721 --> 00:32:19.646
I think that our family
certainly has focused on helping him with the physical needs.

00:32:22.190 --> 00:32:25.443
And then there’s the other things.

00:32:26.486 --> 00:32:31.824
How do you help him to like flourish
intellectually? Emotionally?

00:32:33.952 --> 00:32:37.830
How do we help him to
live a more full life?

00:32:43.878 --> 00:32:48.049
I’m just like happy to
get out of the house.

00:32:49.509 --> 00:32:52.553
The plan is we’re going to

00:32:52.553 --> 00:32:59.894
Mount Rushmore, Grand Canyon, Yosemite
and the Badlands

00:32:59.894 --> 00:33:03.064
and Las Vegas.

00:33:03.064 --> 00:33:06.609
There’s no doubt that I’m going
to have a good time.

00:33:06.609 --> 00:33:11.739
Especially doing it with my brother.

00:33:13.616 --> 00:33:15.618
I’m just

00:33:15.618 --> 00:33:17.704
totally hyped up about it because

00:33:17.704 --> 00:33:22.500
I’ve never been to those places.

00:33:29.048 --> 00:33:32.802
Tonight when my father was saying goodbye,

00:33:32.802 --> 00:33:36.389
he sounded like he was getting choked up.

00:33:36.389 --> 00:33:40.101
That got me choked up too.

00:33:40.101 --> 00:33:41.102
I

00:33:41.102 --> 00:33:51.112
won’t be seeing them
for like roughly three weeks.

00:33:51.112 --> 00:33:55.867
I finally got to get him out of
that room that seems like a prison,

00:33:57.869 --> 00:33:59.912
and we just drove.

00:33:59.912 --> 00:34:02.498
This is something to tell
your kids about, man.

00:34:02.498 --> 00:34:04.625
This is amazing.

00:34:18.181 --> 00:34:31.819
I’m at a
loss for words because
it’s just so beautiful.

00:34:33.821 --> 00:34:35.531
Look at this,
dude.

00:34:35.531 --> 00:34:39.160
We’re going to have a great drive today.

00:34:39.160 --> 00:34:42.371
Come on, man.

00:34:42.371 --> 00:34:47.043
Here, let me do that.
You have your gloves on.

00:34:50.129 --> 00:34:55.009
There you go, honey. You good? Let’s go.

00:34:55.009 --> 00:34:59.597
The first big stop was the Badlands

00:35:01.724 --> 00:35:04.602
Fuck you.

00:35:09.148 --> 00:35:11.484
Come on.
Dude, it’s awesome.


00:35:11.484 --> 00:35:13.361
It’s not slippery at all. Come on.

00:35:19.909 --> 00:35:22.453
Right over here.

00:35:22.453 --> 00:35:23.746
Aren’t you glad you came out, man?

00:35:23.746 --> 00:35:25.623
I want to go back.

00:35:25.623 --> 00:35:28.459
You’re not going to go back yet.

00:35:28.459 --> 00:35:29.585
Here.

00:35:31.003 --> 00:35:34.382
Don’t let go of me.

00:35:34.382 --> 00:35:36.884
Don’t let go of you?

00:35:36.884 --> 00:35:38.511
Yeah, don\'t.

00:35:38.511 --> 00:35:41.222
I won’t.

00:35:48.146 --> 00:35:50.314
It’s beautiful isn’t it, man?

00:35:50.314 --> 00:35:53.693
Yeah.

00:36:14.213 --> 00:36:15.840
That’s pretty
amazing
isn’t it, man?

00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:17.466
Yeah.

00:36:17.466 --> 00:36:20.386
This is sweet.

00:36:23.931 --> 00:36:28.060
Here, I’ll text mom and dad a picture of you.

00:36:28.060 --> 00:36:29.645
Here, turnaround and look at me, man.

00:36:35.902 --> 00:36:37.737
Alright, man.

00:36:37.737 --> 00:36:39.614
I’ll send it to mom and dad.

00:36:42.742 --> 00:36:48.039
I don’t know why they didn’t put a top hat on him.

00:36:51.876 --> 00:36:53.169
I still don\'t think I buy this story, man.

00:36:53.169 --> 00:36:55.713
So what happened with the lady?

00:36:55.713 --> 00:37:02.220
Alright, so I came out for a cigarette.
 And then I went back in and


00:37:02.220 --> 00:37:07.808
I was going to the bathroom in the lobby.

00:37:07.808 --> 00:37:20.988
and then I came out of the bathroom
there was the girl she was

00:37:20.988 --> 00:37:23.366
waiting to go to use the bathroom.

00:37:23.366 --> 00:37:25.493
How was she standing?

00:37:25.493 --> 00:37:28.204
Did she have like her
hip like checked out like this?

00:37:28.204 --> 00:37:34.168
She had her arm against the wall.

00:37:34.168 --> 00:37:36.462
You\'re full of it.

00:37:36.462 --> 00:37:39.340
Against the bathroom door so when you opened it up she was just like right there?

00:37:39.340 --> 00:37:40.091
Yeah.

00:37:40.091 --> 00:37:42.134
Hi, I want to get in there.

00:37:42.134 --> 00:37:43.261
And...

00:37:43.261 --> 00:37:47.181
Did you just drop some heat?
I\'m about to as well.

00:37:47.181 --> 00:37:48.766
Come on, man.

00:37:48.766 --> 00:37:51.852
Fuck you, man.

00:37:51.852 --> 00:37:57.316
And she said, I\'m not going to say....

00:37:57.316 --> 00:38:00.194
What? You got to say,
no I won\'t make fun of you, I promise.

00:38:00.194 --> 00:38:00.653
I\'ll be good.

00:38:00.653 --> 00:38:01.320
You\'re not going to believe me.

00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:04.115
Oh, I\'ll believe you,
I swear. I\'ll pinky swear, I’ll pinky swear on that.

00:38:04.115 --> 00:38:05.408
Come on, pinky swear?

00:38:05.408 --> 00:38:08.077
My fingers are cold.

00:38:08.077 --> 00:38:10.955
She kissed me first.

00:38:10.955 --> 00:38:13.374
Was this after you told her she was cute?

00:38:13.374 --> 00:38:15.710
Uh huh.

00:38:15.710 --> 00:38:21.966
And then she…

00:38:21.966 --> 00:38:26.220
And then we went back up to her room.

00:38:26.220 --> 00:38:28.431
Did she touch you inappropriately?

00:38:28.431 --> 00:38:32.476
Or appropriately, I guess however you want to look at it.

00:38:32.476 --> 00:38:35.354
I was in my happy zone.

00:38:39.275 --> 00:38:40.901
I think I’m done.

00:38:40.901 --> 00:38:44.280
I don\'t want to know any more.

00:38:44.280 --> 00:38:48.743
You don\'t believe him,
but you\'re kind of like, wait,
did that happen?

00:38:48.743 --> 00:38:52.788
Come on. Swear on it.
Swear on it. Swear on it.

00:38:52.788 --> 00:38:57.376
I ain’t fucking around, man.

00:38:57.376 --> 00:38:58.836
What\'s her name?

00:38:58.836 --> 00:38:59.462
Stephanie.

00:38:59.462 --> 00:39:02.631
Stephanie. Where\'s she from?

00:39:02.631 --> 00:39:03.591
Didn\'t ask.

00:39:03.591 --> 00:39:06.427
You didn\'t ask her where she\'s from?

00:39:06.427 --> 00:39:09.889
No.

00:39:09.889 --> 00:39:12.933
What else do you know about her?

00:39:12.933 --> 00:39:16.145
You weren\'t busy talking.
You were busy kissing.


00:39:16.145 --> 00:39:18.272
Uh huh.

00:39:18.272 --> 00:39:21.275
The Super 8.

00:39:26.072 --> 00:39:28.908
Man, fuck you.
 At least I got some.


00:39:28.908 --> 00:39:31.702
I love you, man.

00:39:34.163 --> 00:39:35.831
Alright, I believe you.

00:39:38.125 --> 00:39:41.253
The whole story was,

00:39:44.673 --> 00:39:47.760
I made the whole thing up.

00:39:53.849 --> 00:39:56.936
Say goodbye to pavement. Yes.

00:39:59.355 --> 00:40:01.190
Want to get out, man?

00:40:03.234 --> 00:40:05.903
Oh, me? Sure.


00:41:14.388 --> 00:41:14.430


00:41:29.528 --> 00:41:36.035
This was the longest
I\'ve been away from my parents.

00:41:36.035 --> 00:41:38.913
Two weeks in

00:41:38.913 --> 00:41:43.250
I started missing home.

00:41:50.299 --> 00:41:53.719
Listen, man, It\'s OK to feel homesick.

00:41:53.719 --> 00:41:58.140
I don’t think you have ever been away from home for this long.

00:42:03.062 --> 00:42:06.065
It\'s alright to miss them.

00:42:12.154 --> 00:42:17.076
They\'re not dead.
 They\'re sitting in Milford, Connecticut.


00:42:17.076 --> 00:42:21.413
And we\'re sitting in a
pretty swank hotel in Las Vegas.

00:42:25.543 --> 00:42:29.964
I really want to stay on the trip.

00:42:42.226 --> 00:42:44.853
But...

00:43:08.252 --> 00:43:13.924
Come on, man.

00:43:21.640 --> 00:43:23.976
You\'re just on the road, man.

00:43:37.865 --> 00:43:43.579
But I really...
I really miss home.

00:43:56.300 --> 00:43:59.720
You don\'t have
to figure it out tonight. We will figure it out tomorrow.

00:43:59.720 --> 00:44:05.851
No, I want…
 I want to finish the trip.


00:44:05.851 --> 00:44:13.734
And I want you to finish it with me man.
 Yeah.

00:44:13.734 --> 00:44:16.362
I don\'t want to be on the road all by myself back to Connecticut.

00:44:16.362 --> 00:44:21.200
Why don\'t you get cleaned up man?
  Alright?


00:44:21.200 --> 00:44:23.786
Alright.

00:44:25.996 --> 00:44:29.833
Go on. We\'re leaving in like fifteen minutes.


00:44:29.833 --> 00:44:31.168
19.

00:44:31.168 --> 00:44:35.005
Go wash your face, man.
 It\'s killing me.


00:44:37.925 --> 00:44:39.677
Alright.

00:44:51.313 --> 00:44:53.440
Dude\'s one-of-a-kind, isn\'t he?

00:44:55.818 --> 00:44:59.113
We went to twenty-

00:44:59.113 --> 00:45:01.990
six states.

00:45:01.990 --> 00:45:04.159
Mississippi,

00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:07.037
South Dakota,

00:45:07.037 --> 00:45:10.165
Colorado,

00:45:10.165 --> 00:45:13.293
Maryland.

00:45:13.293 --> 00:45:16.547
We are on a budget to go
across country and back

00:45:16.547 --> 00:45:20.259
in like less than a month on
a $3000 budget.

00:45:20.259 --> 00:45:22.803
We didn\'t do it in a very cushy manner.

00:45:29.268 --> 00:45:32.813
Staying at cheap, dank, dirty hotels.

00:45:35.232 --> 00:45:38.110
Just keeping it as cheap as possible.

00:45:38.110 --> 00:45:41.780
I wasn\'t sure if we\'d really bond or not.

00:45:41.780 --> 00:45:43.949
Maybe he\'s going to drive me crazy?

00:45:43.949 --> 00:45:49.538
But the road trip brought us much closer.

00:45:56.503 --> 00:46:00.674
I\'m glad that we did it
and I want to do it again.

00:46:07.014 --> 00:46:10.559
It was nice to just be with him.

00:46:12.811 --> 00:46:14.021
It was a special time.

00:46:18.150 --> 00:46:21.445
He came in and he just grabbed me.

00:46:23.989 --> 00:46:26.200
He was actually crying.

00:46:28.494 --> 00:46:32.164
It makes you know
that the feelings are there,

00:46:32.164 --> 00:46:35.751
although not always expressed, yes.

00:46:50.265 --> 00:46:54.269
Nick\'s been on a waiting list for seven or eight years, I think.

00:46:54.269 --> 00:46:57.147
And a room finally opened up.

00:46:57.147 --> 00:46:58.106
Socks, right?

00:46:58.106 --> 00:47:00.234
You want all these socks?

00:47:00.234 --> 00:47:01.568
Yeah.

00:47:01.568 --> 00:47:04.071
And so it\'s moving day.

00:47:04.071 --> 00:47:06.698
It’s crazy.

00:47:06.698 --> 00:47:07.991
We’re packing today

00:47:07.991 --> 00:47:12.329
and tomorrow, tomorrow
he spends his first night at the apartment complex.

00:47:13.580 --> 00:47:16.708
It\'s unbelievable that
he\'s going to be living all by himself.

00:47:16.708 --> 00:47:18.001
When we\'re away,

00:47:18.001 --> 00:47:21.672
he seems to function OK.

00:47:22.214 --> 00:47:25.801
There\'s never been an emergency
where we’ve gotten a phone that\'s he\'s in the hospital

00:47:25.801 --> 00:47:26.760
or anything like that.

00:47:26.760 --> 00:47:29.513
What are we doing with this, keeping it?

00:47:29.513 --> 00:47:30.472
Keep.

00:47:30.472 --> 00:47:32.975
Alright, what about this?

00:47:32.975 --> 00:47:34.768
Keep.

00:47:35.519 --> 00:47:36.937
Keep.

00:47:36.937 --> 00:47:40.566
Keeping this? What is this?


00:47:40.566 --> 00:47:44.361
It\'s a onesie.

00:47:46.989 --> 00:47:48.532
It\'s the Joker.

00:47:48.532 --> 00:47:51.368
Yeah, dude. That\'s great. Alright.


00:47:51.368 --> 00:47:53.871
So you\'re keeping the onesie?

00:47:53.871 --> 00:47:55.581
Yes. Will you do me a favor?

00:47:55.581 --> 00:47:59.126
Your first, tomorrow night,
your first night there, will you wear it for me?

00:48:01.086 --> 00:48:04.756
If I press this button,

00:48:04.756 --> 00:48:09.386
this one,

00:48:09.386 --> 00:48:14.224
it will notify

00:48:14.224 --> 00:48:20.105
the company. And if I need help

00:48:20.105 --> 00:48:28.238
they\'ll send out the paramedics or something.

00:48:28.238 --> 00:48:31.700
With him moving out and
being on his own, holy shit, man. Like,


00:48:31.700 --> 00:48:33.285
terrifying to me.

00:48:34.369 --> 00:48:34.995
I think

00:48:34.995 --> 00:48:37.205
him living alone is a death sentence.

00:48:39.082 --> 00:48:41.001
Mom comes home, day after Christmas

00:48:41.001 --> 00:48:43.170
and he\'s whimpering for help

00:48:43.170 --> 00:48:45.297
because his blood sugar is so high.

00:48:45.297 --> 00:48:47.382
And his whole body is hurting.

00:48:47.382 --> 00:48:49.468
If my parents didn\'t come home that night

00:48:49.468 --> 00:48:51.261
he could\'ve died.

00:48:51.261 --> 00:48:52.804
He could\'ve.

00:48:52.804 --> 00:48:54.640
Like that\'s it. He\'s just fucking dead.


00:48:54.640 --> 00:48:56.600
CP didn\'t kill him. Diabetes.


00:48:56.600 --> 00:49:02.356
Ok, dude, see you tomorrow, OK?

00:49:02.356 --> 00:49:05.400
Tell me you love me.

00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:08.987
I love you.

00:49:08.987 --> 00:49:10.572
Alright.

00:49:10.572 --> 00:49:13.951
So 8:30. You got to be out of bed, OK?


00:49:17.579 --> 00:49:20.165
Don\'t look so glum.

00:49:20.165 --> 00:49:22.459
You\'re moving into your new place.

00:49:22.459 --> 00:49:25.170
Alright, man.

00:49:27.673 --> 00:49:30.175
I haven\'t been sleeping well, you know?

00:49:30.175 --> 00:49:36.056
It\'s like that feeling
you get in your gut

00:49:36.056 --> 00:49:39.476
that something bad is going to happen and

00:49:40.936 --> 00:49:44.231
there\'s nothing you can do to stop that.

00:49:44.231 --> 00:49:45.232
I don\'t want my

00:49:45.232 --> 00:49:47.985
my brother to stay at my parents house
and never go out and experience life.

00:49:47.985 --> 00:49:49.778
It’s not that at all.

00:49:49.778 --> 00:49:53.991
It\'s that like he… How prepared is he?


00:49:53.991 --> 00:49:56.952
He hasn’t taken any kind of readiness course.

00:50:00.706 --> 00:50:06.545
You know, if they were making him cook
in the months leading up to this.

00:50:06.545 --> 00:50:09.464
They said you got to cook
three meals a week.

00:50:09.464 --> 00:50:13.802
You need to show us that you can do this

00:50:13.802 --> 00:50:15.929
and do it safely.

00:50:15.929 --> 00:50:19.975
But he’s not done that.
They haven’t asked that of him.


00:50:19.975 --> 00:50:22.102
So...

00:50:33.989 --> 00:50:38.326
Luke,
I am your father.

00:50:40.579 --> 00:50:41.705
I

00:50:41.705 --> 00:50:46.626
I love it. I really love it.


00:50:50.297 --> 00:50:57.471
But it’s, cause it’s my place.

00:51:03.518 --> 00:51:06.897
You have a lot
of clothes man.

00:51:11.443 --> 00:51:14.279
I\'m a very stylish guy.

00:51:14.279 --> 00:51:17.115
You\'re stylish alright.

00:51:17.115 --> 00:51:21.661
You\'re special, the things you wear.

00:51:24.164 --> 00:51:26.541
I don\'t like that word.

00:51:26.541 --> 00:51:28.210
Alright.

00:51:30.420 --> 00:51:31.213
So I\'ll be

00:51:31.213 --> 00:51:35.133
able to sleep in the bed tonight?

00:51:38.136 --> 00:51:39.971
Yeah, dude.
You\'re staying here tonight.


00:51:39.971 --> 00:51:42.808
You\'re not, this is home.
This is it for you.


00:51:42.808 --> 00:51:44.142
You\'re not going back.

00:51:49.397 --> 00:51:50.774
Oops.

00:51:52.734 --> 00:51:55.070
Why don\'t you use your walker?

00:52:02.994 --> 00:52:05.747
Use the walker.

00:52:05.747 --> 00:52:09.960
I’m going to get the walker.

00:52:11.711 --> 00:52:14.464
The walker’s way over here.

00:52:14.464 --> 00:52:18.677
Well, I was going to get the walker.

00:52:18.677 --> 00:52:19.803
Now you got it.

00:52:19.803 --> 00:52:25.684
It\'s like it doesn\'t phase him
that he is in danger.

00:52:28.436 --> 00:52:34.693
The… When I said I\'d let you in


00:52:34.693 --> 00:52:40.198
that, you got to wait until I…

00:52:40.198 --> 00:52:42.367
I was. I hit 9.

00:52:42.367 --> 00:52:43.577
Well, I was waiting.

00:52:43.577 --> 00:52:46.413
Doesn\'t it usually like beep or
something like that out there?

00:52:46.413 --> 00:52:48.039
So you know that you can open the door.

00:52:48.039 --> 00:52:50.792
Well, yeah but you hung up before I could actually...

00:52:50.792 --> 00:52:51.835
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:52:51.835 --> 00:52:53.128
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I didn\'t hang up.

00:52:53.128 --> 00:52:55.380
You hung up on me.

00:52:55.380 --> 00:52:55.964
No, she didn\'t.

00:52:55.964 --> 00:52:57.924
I don\'t think so, Nick.

00:52:57.924 --> 00:53:02.804
You got to wait for me to hang up.
All I can do is call you.

00:53:04.055 --> 00:53:05.432
You going to show me your place?

00:53:05.432 --> 00:53:09.477
You going to show me your place?i

00:53:09.477 --> 00:53:11.271
He\'s 45.

00:53:18.445 --> 00:53:23.325
How about we cook it.
How about we cook it for you, dude?


00:53:23.325 --> 00:53:29.164
You’re 45, why don\'t you sit down.
You’re really low, OK.

00:53:29.164 --> 00:53:32.626
Oh, the table is nice, Nick.

00:53:32.626 --> 00:53:33.293
Yeah.

00:53:33.293 --> 00:53:34.961
It’s really nice.

00:53:46.848 --> 00:53:49.684
How do you like my place?

00:53:49.684 --> 00:53:51.519
I like it.

00:54:01.363 --> 00:54:06.201
I can’t believe I\'m moving into my own place.

00:54:14.167 --> 00:54:16.044
Goodnight goofball.

00:54:19.923 --> 00:54:22.509
We\'re empty-nesters.

00:54:22.509 --> 00:54:24.886
I love you.

00:54:34.104 --> 00:54:37.941
You make me proud.

00:54:45.782 --> 00:54:49.119
You gotta let go of my shoulder.

00:54:55.709 --> 00:54:59.170
It\'s OK. You\'ll do good tonight.

00:54:59.170 --> 00:55:03.425
You get lonely, call us.

00:55:03.425 --> 00:55:06.428
Alright. dude. OK.

00:55:06.428 --> 00:55:09.097
I\'ll see you, man.

00:55:09.097 --> 00:55:12.559
Love you, brother.

00:55:17.147 --> 00:55:20.358
You\'ll be alright.

00:55:24.779 --> 00:55:28.033
Night, night.

00:55:34.748 --> 00:55:36.958
Take care, dude.

00:55:36.958 --> 00:55:40.712
I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

00:55:40.712 --> 00:55:46.426
I’ll see you tomorrow.

00:55:46.426 --> 00:55:50.597
You don\'t want company tonight, do you?

00:55:50.597 --> 00:55:54.434
You got your plants, right?

00:55:54.434 --> 00:55:58.188
Alright, love you, man.

00:56:01.316 --> 00:56:06.237
I love you, too.

00:56:12.869 --> 00:56:17.624
I knew this was going to happen.

00:56:28.009 --> 00:56:31.346
Wow.

00:56:31.346 --> 00:56:36.476
I actually miss seeing them.