Filmmaker Su Friedrich moves her fiesty mother into an "independent living"…
Home For Life
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
Home for Life depicts the experiences of two elderly people in their first month at a home for the aged. One is a woman whose struggle to remain useful in her son and daughter-in-law's home is no longer appreciated. The other is a widower, without a family, who suddenly realizes he can no longer take care of himself. The film offers an unblinking look at the feelings of the two new residents in their encounters with other residents, medical staff, social workers, psychiatrists and family. A touching, sometimes painfully honest dramatic experience, it is valuable for in-service staff training, and for all other audiences both professional and non-professional, interested in the problems of the aged. Restored in 2007 thanks to a prestigious National Film Preservation Foundation grant.
Citation
Main credits
Temaner, Gerald (Producer)
Temaner, Gerald (Director)
Quinn, Gordon (Cinematographer)
Quinn, Gordon (Film editor)
Other credits
Photographer, Gordon Quinn; editor, Gordon Quinn.
Distributor subjects
Health Issues; Aging; U.S. History; DocumentariesKeywords
WEBVTT
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[sil.]
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[sil.]
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[sil.]
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In a short time, Mrs. Weinberg and Mr.
Rocklin will come to live at Drexel Home
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for the rest of their lives.
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[music]
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[music]
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Some things, they’ll expect.
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Social events.
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[music]
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Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
Congressman Barratt O’Hara
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happens to be in the neighborhood and happens to
be running for re-election. And political event.
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He was able to get to the home and we’re gonna
ask (inaudible) to say a couple of words.
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Congressman O’Hara.
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All I could say to you is this, (inaudible)
save you can you (inaudible) put up here?
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(inaudible).
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Always nice to see you all.
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And I appreciate the opportunity, even
a politician, to say a couple of words
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on the eve of an election.
Thank you very much.
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Thank you very much, Congressman O’Hara. And good
luck to you in the forthcoming election and now.
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Since this… this young man seems
to be younger and has newer ideas,
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we all give him a chance to try them.
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Well, thank you. That’s
what a lot of people think.
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One thing I hope we don’t can put up with completely is that
this is a struggle of youth and age. And that… And maybe…
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maybe Mr. McDough would like to comment on that.
You know, when I first announced my candidacy,
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I said very clearly in my opening statement
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that I did not think that our physical
ages, the fact that he was 84
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and that I was 40, was an issue in the campaign.
And I don’t. I said, I think the age of our ideas
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is an issue. And it’s furnished by
wardens of Johnson City, Tennessee.
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[sil.]
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Ordinary pastimes.
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Those are yours to keep the matter what
happens to the upcoming age of (inaudible).
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[sil.]
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(inaudible).
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(inaudible).
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Yeah. (inaudible).
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No.
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[sil.]
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No.
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[music]
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One at a time.
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No dear. No, wait, wait. That was here.
That’s right. That’s not…
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That’s it.
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[music]
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Yeah. No.
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[music]
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The amount of
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real effort this woman puts into a move,
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it’s as if she’s cutting away
cobwebs, every second of her life.
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Time is such an important factor for her,
if I could only give her more of it.
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Of course, there is a blank before,
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there is a blank after, and there
is a… a blank of days in between.
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So, it’s no wonder she finds
that even an hour is nothing.
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If I could have an afternoon of a week,
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to go and sit with her, play
with her, discuss the moves,
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let her teach me, because I’m sure
she knew the game better than I did,
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that she’s at my level now means that she’s
deteriorated, and she knows it. I don’t hide
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that from her ever.
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Oh, it’s not a game! Not that… What?
Mrs. Casco, look what I did.
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I took the queen away. Yeah. That
was here defending the king.
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And here you are.
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And I’ve been… Oh! So this over.
It’s finished.
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So let’s start a new one.
In the afternoon. Oh!
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I want to get to work. But that… that
doesn’t mean that I played real good?
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No! No. No! No. No! Because it’s all off.
Never mind.
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The knaves were on the same level.
We both make lots of mistakes.
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And that’s how we learn.
Yeah. So, that’s all.
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We’re putting it back, ah?
Please. We didn’t play.
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It was one, two, three. A little
bit of exercise, shall we say.
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[sil.]
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I need practice. You need practice.
We need practice. Oh yes.
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The more we played, the more we learn.
But I play so little,
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that I forget from one time today at it.
Yeah, well, we can shake them (inaudible).
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Thank you anyway for trying. Oh, I’m
so disappointed in my own game.
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Yes. We are. If we don’t play often enough,
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it’s forgetting. That’s all.
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[sil.]
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People in greater need
of protection and care.
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[sil.]
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People who have since deteriorated
from the time of their arrival.
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[sil.]
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Well, I’m on the first floor. Right, dear.
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And I thought you just said I’m in the fourth floor. No,
dear, first floor, first floor. A professional staff.
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It’s only place the library… We have one library
on the first floor. And you’re right in it.
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And what I’m trying to say is that it’s
a small room. I know it’s a small room
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and that doesn’t explain anything.
(inaudible).
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Is it too big, you think?
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I don’t think anymore. We’ll
try, just for a minute.
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Oh, don’t bother. Okay. I won’t bother you.
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First I thought it was the fifth floor.
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No, dear, you’re on the first floor. Library
is used to on the fifth. I don’t know.
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Not in my time. It’s always been here.
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On the first floor. On the first floor.
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[sil.]
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Let’s try this (inaudible). Ah?
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Try this (inaudible) again.
You really see (inaudible).
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I don’t need (inaudible).
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Well, sometimes you feel this way.
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I’m feeling now that I want to die, I die.
Okay, (inaudible) tomorrow while
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I come back.
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[sil.]
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I was thinking of Ms. (inaudible).
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And death, of course. …yesterday,
but I didn’t go to see her.
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We have our own troubles up here.
I’m not bringing them down here.
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Umm…hmm… I was wondering if you’ve heard
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that she’d been ill or any news of her. I asked the
girl. And half the time she tell, I’ll let you know,
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and that’s what she’s saying.
I will let you know. Umm…hmm…
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(inaudible). Well, how do you
feel about it? Would you…?
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Well, I would like to see her. Why not?
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Well, umm… I really didn’t know
whether you’d heard or not,
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but she’s not with us anymore.
Oh, did she pass away?
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Umm…hmm… Oh, the poor thing.
It’s better for her, I know.
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She was in misery. And I finally talked
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to (inaudible) started and she felt well.
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I enjoyed talking to her.
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Only she (inaudible) not talking straight.
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I like to help everybody, but I can’t.
But I can’t help myself.
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That’s what the trouble is.
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Well, I sort of didn’t want
to tell you for a while.
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Oh no! It’s when anything that I said
had, because I consider her a friend.
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And I know what she’s going though,
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went through a lot of pain. Well, I
don’t know how you feel about it,
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but she… she died in her sleep. Oh dear!
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Isn’t it nice? It’s a nice way to go.
That’s right.
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We’re asleep, that she never waking.
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But we hope they’re going to the right
place and knock on the right door.
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That’s all we can do. The first day
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for Mrs. Bertha Weinberg and Mr.
William Rocklin.
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[sil.]
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Mrs. Weinberg arrives.
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[sil.]
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Don’t worry about it, you know. Let me take you
upstairs first and then I’ll make arrangements.
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[sil.]
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You may get little confidence here.
(inaudible). There’s a Bertha here.
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Yeah, she is… she is… Oh yes! We’ll meet
them all later. Yeah. She’s in the office.
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Yeah, she’s looking for you.
There’s Bertha.
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You got her name and
she’s (inaudible). Yeah.
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Hello dear. How are you? Good to see you.
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Ah! Sure. Come on, honey. Sit down
for a minute. Sit down for a minute.
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Sit down for a minute. Sit down. (inaudible). I’ll help you. We’ll help you.
Where is your office? The second office. The second office. Oh! You remember?
00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:24.999
Right there and then… Yeah, you should
go in there. Near Mrs. Greenblatt.
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That’s right. Mrs. Greenblatt, and then I’m right next. You can
even talk to Mrs. Greenblatt. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.
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What… What did you say your name? Mrs. Greenblatt
will be happy to see you too. Yeah. Ah!
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Sure. What did you say your name was? Bertha, remember? Oh, you’re Bertha! Sure. I can’t forget you. No, no.
You could not. You couldn’t. Mrs. Solomon, this is Bertha Weinberg. How’re you doing? Nice to meet you.
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Mrs. Solomon, yeah. Sarah Solomon.
Glad to meet you Mrs. Weinberg.
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Same here.
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You came in the rain.
Yeah, such nasty weather.
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[sil.]
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Why don’t you come… come
and sit here with her.
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Maybe you can talk. (inaudible).
Yeah, sure she does.
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Sit down with her.
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You want your purse? She wants her purse.
Oh yes. Take your purse, dear.
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I’m okay. Now, sit down with her. Wait here,
sit here. Just don’t ask her (inaudible).
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I’m little puzzled up.
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In this weather I… Yes, it’s very bad.
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(inaudible). Yeah. I think I’m older
than you are, you know. Oh, but now?
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(inaudible) bet on our ages. I think I am.
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You certainly don’t look that. No, that
doesn’t make any difference, I am. I am.
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How old do you think I am, conversation, just
for conversation? How old you think I am?
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How old you think I am? 70. Way pass that.
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You know, flattering you.
Did you think I was 90?
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No, I wouldn’t, never. Okay, nobody thinks
I’m. Are you really? Oh yes. Is that right?
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:14.999
Yeah, this last November. And
you’re doing wonderful (inaudible).
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Thank you. You know that? Yeah. How old are you? Don’t
tell your age? I… No, what’s the difference (inaudible).
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A little play here. I having
the birthday May 22nd,
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and I’m gonna be 83. Well, I
was chicken when I was 83.
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No, you look pretty good for your age. I
don’t think it’s good, can be expected.
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I’ve had lot of hardship and… And
I guess everybody has come here.
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I guess, if they didn’t, they
wouldn’t come here. No, I guess not.
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I think you’ll like it here with a lot of nice people.
Well, that’s what I was gonna say that lot of nice people.
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Pick the nice ones (inaudible).
(inaudible). (inaudible) you like.
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Is the room fixed, Mrs. Solomon?
Is the room…?
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Well, he’s washing the floor now. And that’s the pity.
(inaudible) room all nice and fresh and clean for you.
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Would that be nice? Who’s my partner?
This lady.
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Oh, shall we make a try together?
Would you like to make a try with me?
00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:19.999
That’s wonderful. I was
planning out something else.
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:24.999
But don’t say it. Wait a minute. I
was planning entirely different.
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See now, aren’t you happy? I am. Thank you dear. Sure, sure. Maybe you’ll
be sorry, you don’t know. You wouldn’t like me. No, I can tell right away.
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:34.999
Okay. You seem… Honey, I won’t brag about
myself, but I’m not hard to get along.
00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:39.999
Well… I better be (inaudible)… I
can, you’ll have to judge me…
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:44.999
And I’ll do my best to be. Well, you have
to judge me after you’re living with me.
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:49.999
And to me you look as if you’d be very nice person. Thank
you, very nice, very much. You please me rather ways.
00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:54.999
But when I heard a woman
over 90 years (inaudible)…
00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:59.999
You got scared? So I thought, well,
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.999
I’m old too. I shouldn’t criticize.
What kind of important things
00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:09.999
can we have here? (inaudible) but you
have a long way to go to the washroom,
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.999
the long walk to the washroom.
You won’t like it.
00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:19.999
That… That’s the thing I was worried about. Yes. That’s
the one. I’ll tell you in advance, you won’t like that.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:24.999
Even I don’t know. Even I suppose
00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:29.999
you can’t express everything. No, it’s
true, to get one thing then there’s
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.999
something wrong another way. So…
Just have to make the best of it.
00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:43.000
[sil.]
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:19.999
Oh Harvey is just cleaning.
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:24.999
Oh, why don’t we just… We will be only in there
for five minutes. We’ll be right back out
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:29.999
and won’t bother you much, okay.
We just come in for five minutes.
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:34.999
(inaudible), he wants to get out.
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:39.999
You got to shut the windows.
It’s very cold in here.
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:48.000
[sil.]
00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:59.999
Okay. (inaudible). You’re
a very important person.
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.999
Oh my! See? Now, I want to show
you something. Here’s the key.
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:09.999
That will be your closet. Right here, (inaudible) with
it. Now, I don’t know. Mr. Weinberg, do you have a…
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.999
Wait a minute. A little keychain. I want
you to put this in your purse. Okay?
00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:19.999
If I have one, then I put it away,
(inaudible) need a key, (inaudible)…
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:24.999
Well, your son can bring
to you when he comes back.
00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:29.999
But in the mean… Right here. I got… I got something here that she
can (inaudible). Okay. Because this where your clothes will be.
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:34.999
And we’re gonna hang your coat in there.
Let me have her coat.
00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.999
And then we go back down, because it’s
cold here. But you’ve seen your room.
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:44.999
So, you have a nice room here.
Yeah. (inaudible).
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.999
Isn’t it lovely? I was worried where I’m
gonna put my clothes on. (inaudible).
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.999
See now, this is big. That
key is for your closet now.
00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.999
And let me tell you, see… I’d see
you later when we both go down.
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.999
In the meanwhile, it’s a little confusing.
00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:09.999
But whenever you leave your room, close it. And this is
my television. Take your key with you downstairs. Okay?
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:14.999
In the meanwhile, we’ll leave it open. There’s just your
coat in there. Can I put it here? See, right there.
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:19.999
Are there duplicate keys in the office, because I have one
main. No, you can (inaudible) but they have another key.
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:24.999
All right. There you are.
00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:29.999
Where did you put the key? Oh, I don’t think you
can miss it. See, it’s right thick and fast.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.999
Right there. (inaudible).
00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:39.999
See. Yes. This is big enough. Well, when you get
organized, you’ll open everything by yourself.
00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:44.999
Once you’re settled, you don’t have to carry
so much (inaudible). Right? (inaudible).
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:49.999
Now, let’s see. This is your side here.
Here’s your key mother,
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
a big, you know, you can take like this. You
can’t miss it. Mrs. Weinberg, you also have.
00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
Excuse me. No, that’s mine. This is (inaudible).
(inaudible) drawer. All these drawers right here.
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
And your friend will be here after lunch
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
if you will have to unpack your little
and big installation things out.
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
If something, come upstairs. And
then you have an easychair.
00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
And you have pretty view out of the window later.
So, you’ll study that in the next few days.
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
All right. I think we’re through up here,
because it’s cool and we go downstairs
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
and relax a little bit. Okay?
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
All right. 221. It’s a very
lovely room, mother. (inaudible)
00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
And you know what… What floor is this?
Your name is already on the door.
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
Oh, here is your name on the door.
Bertha pointer.
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
That’s for your room, 221.
What floor is this? Two.
00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
Oh, the second floor. 221. Well, you have
(inaudible). This is (inaudible). (inaudible).
00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
Who is Mrs. Weinberg? This is Mrs.
Weinberg. Yeah.
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
(inaudible). Okay. And I
already forgot your name.
00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
Lublin. Don’t worry. Lublin.
Next time we’ll remember it.
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
It’s okay. I don’t remember
names either, believe me.
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
You want to come with us, Mr. Weinberg?
We’ll go downstairs.
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
Thanks Harvey. Okay. Have we disturbed you?
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
No, (inaudible). You will. I mean it.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
Disturbing? Yeah. Is it a nice room?
00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
(inaudible).
00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
[sil.]
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
Mr. Rocklin arrives.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:58.000
[sil.]
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
All right. Do you want the clothes in the
meantime? No. We have lunchtime almost.
00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
Yeah. And I think everything afterwards. Yeah.
I want to get the movers out of the way,
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
because they… Let me (inaudible). They
charge… They charge like the (inaudible).
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
Yeah. And you wait right here.
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
I don’t think it could rain. After lunch.
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
And I get this sort of straightened out.
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
[sil.]
00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
For a small (inaudible).
00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
Huh? (inaudible). No. My bathroom was almost as hers.
It’s the room there. My room was… was tremendous.
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
Even I have a room
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
for my fridge there.
Even for a big wardrobe
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
that I had. And…
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
And we’ll see what else we’ve got.
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
[sil.]
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
Did you get your… Did you
find your watch yet?
00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
No. Mother, let me look. Okay.
It was in the box,
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
in a flat box. Right. Let me look.
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
[sil.]
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
(inaudible). If you give me the money,
00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
I’ll go upstairs (inaudible),
get a little thing for you.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
And let them enter your money. Whatever
you give, we can come back to you
00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
and give you the (inaudible). There will be
five names till I get organized here, get set.
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
Because I don’t want you to run around with too much money.
(inaudible) I need. (inaudible). It’s not a suggestion,
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
it’s an advice. I’ve been
in hospitals before. Okay.
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
(inaudible). Would you rather take care of it yourself? No,
no. All right. Just… Just this once. I want to get organized
00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
and see (inaudible). Yes, but I leave about
3 o’clock, so if I don’t have it by 3:00?
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
Then I’ll give it tomorrow. I won’t be here tomorrow. You
won’t be here tomorrow. (inaudible) until next week.
00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
Oh. Yeah.
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:34.999
(inaudible). I needed this, because
I am expecting (inaudible).
00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.999
Yeah. And you know what I do now?
I go to the office now,
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
while you look for the medication. How’s that?
Okay. That’s fine. And I’ll be right back.
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
Okay. Okay. I’ll be right back.
Okay. Okay. Now…
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:58.000
[sil.]
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
This is my younger brother.
He would be about 75 now.
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
[sil.]
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
He passed away? Oh yes. He
was a little (inaudible)
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
was right after that.
This is Rudy (inaudible).
00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
This was taken when… this
was when I was lot younger,
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
just after when I married.
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:38.000
[sil.]
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:48.000
This is quite a change, believe me.
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
Are you happy about the change though?
Huh? Are you happy about the change,
00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
because you’re gonna…? Well, I’m happy
to this extent and I was physically not
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
in shape to take care of myself.
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
I…
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
I was having a lot of trouble.
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
Previous morning, I
couldn’t get out of bed.
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
One morning, they come in and
found me lying in the bathroom.
00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
Terrible. I don’t know.
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
It isn’t there?
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
Well, it comes all of these old cards
that you wrote, treasured here.
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
We’ll put those in another stock. Wait
a minute. Well, that’s stockings.
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
You got some of your under clothes here. They’re
gonna bring up the rest of this tomorrow.
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
You’re gonna have a lot to put away. I have four or
five left. Yes, they have it downstairs, mother.
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
They’re gonna bring it up tomorrow.
I’ll have to (inaudible).
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
It’s a flat…
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
All right. I don’t… (inaudible).
(inaudible). Yeah. You know.
00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
Many of them, they don’t
belong to you as well.
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
That will be here later
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
and we’ll go over it again.
Rose will… Mr. Weinberg.
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
Yeah. I can see you, we’re
domestically trained. Why? At home.
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
Why? The way you handle all the clothes, the way (inaudible)
things. Well, I’ll you, my wife… I was just gonna
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
tell about your wife. My wife…
He’s got a very fussy wife.
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
She is a perfectionist when it comes to the houses… I’m
envious. I wish I had a son that was so devoted to his mother.
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
Well, it sounds like I had a
son, who isn’t, I had no son.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
He is very devoted to his wife
and a devoted son. (inaudible)
00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
a husband like my son,
they’ll be all right.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
Oh, slightly prejudice, huh?
Well, I had a beautiful…
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
I had a beautiful… I had a mother’s day card
from an aunt (inaudible) year and she wrote,
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
some… she said, there should be aunt’s day.
But she says,
00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
some child missed a wonderful mother in you. And I thought
that was beautiful thing to say, that was a nicest
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
thing you could say. Don’t you think that’s
a beautiful thing to say? The doctor…
00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
The doctor gave me prescription for 15 sleeping
pills. I took one the first night I got it.
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
I slept very well. And then I
decided I would cut it out.
00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
And I haven’t taken. Now I’ve got 14
sleeping pills left out of the 15.
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
How does Mr. Rocklin seem to (inaudible)?
He’s not so confused.
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
He just wants to get settled.
That’s the main thing, you know.
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
[sil.]
00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
He feels pretty good.
Does he have any family?
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
I really don’t know. You know, you don’t
ask questions like that right away.
00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
You have to get a little more
acquainted before you get personal.
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
That is something a volunteer does not do.
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
At least not right away. Well,
I have little pills that I…
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
Yeah. Little pills? Yes. How often do you take that? Those
little pills? Yeah. Well, just when I get pains on my…
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
on my chest I take them. I
don’t take them regular.
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
No, but how often is that? Once a day?
Once a week? Well, sometimes once a day,
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
two a day, when I get… I get
terrible pains occasionally.
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
And I take a couple at a time.
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
I have the arthritis. It’s so bad. I’ve ordered
medicine for your arthritis. You’ll be getting that.
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
I see. Well, that’s about all that can
be done I know. Okay. You can’t make
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
a new woman out of me. I’m too old.
All right.
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
We’ll go downstairs now.
00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:13.000
[sil.]
00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
Here you go. There’s your cane.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
[sil.]
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
Okay. Okay, doctor. Thank you.
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
Careful.
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
[sil.]
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
Is everybody happy? I’m happy.
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
Everybody’s happy (inaudible).
Okay. Shall I get a cut?
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
Got a week (inaudible).
00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
Five, two, two… After dinner, Las Vegas
night. Ten cents, two cents, five cents…
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
The head of the Department of
Physical Therapy, deals blackjack.
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
[sil.]
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
(inaudible). Okay. I’ll try.
How many you’ve got? One more.
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
One more. 14 all of sudden. Yeah.
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
Well, certainly (inaudible). Oh, thank you.
Did I find a win?
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
All right. Now, how about the five?
All of a six. (inaudible).
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
I don’t want. You don’t want any?
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
No. You better (inaudible). That’s the boy.
All of the three?
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
How about the five?
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
16, all of the five? You gotta
a five, you gotta check them.
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
Thank you. You’re nice John.
Wait, I don’t know.
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
How you played this type of money?
Ah, she got 22.
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
Thank you. You’re nice young lady. Now
listen, you tell me that all the time.
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
The end of their first day.
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:18.000
[sil.]
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.999
To confront old age, life
requires medical support.
00:34:55.000 --> 00:35:03.000
[sil.]
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
At Drexel: a dentist, a podiatrist,
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
and a psychiatrist, an infirmary,
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
an X-ray unit, and a
laboratory, a pharmacist,
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
an ophthalmologist, a
radiologist, and a dermatologist.
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:48.000
[sil.]
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
50 years a doctor? Yeah. Well, I
doubt I got all kinds of (inaudible)
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
I can barely walk. Uh…huh…
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
And my eyes hurt me. My teeth hurt me.
I just began to limit my practice.
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
How come you got such a good humor?
00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
With all this pain. Oh, I
have to have good humor.
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
I have nobody to pamper me.
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
I’m gonna pamper you. Well, that’s all right.
Well, you feel crepitation in shoulder,
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
don’t often feel crepitation in a shoulder. (inaudible)
I’ve got three pair of shoes and they all (inaudible) bad.
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
You wanna bring them up next time and I’ll
look at them and see if we can fix them
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
so you’re comfortable. All right.
All right. It’s your bunions
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
and that bad toe. We’ll fix it.
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
That’s all for today. We’ll give you some
treatment so your shoulders feel better.
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
Okay, fine. Bye. (inaudible).
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
All right. We’ll try and help.
Okay. Thank you.
00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
Now where do I go?
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
Home. You know where you live?
Hold that elevator, she’s leaving.
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
Hold the elevator. This
is the sixth floor. Yeah.
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
Maybe I am (inaudible). No patients.
No patients.
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
My goodness, everybody came this week.
(inaudible).
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
It hurts? Oh yes. That’s a very bad ankle.
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
What kind of problems did you have?
Did you have the stroke?
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
No stroke. Only arthritis. Arthritis?
Of course, that goes back about
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
25 years ago (inaudible)
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:54.999
but that was growing in the spine (inaudible)
it hasn’t gotten any worse since.
00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.999
You want shoes off or on? Not yet. Okay.
Just sit on the edge of the bed.
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
Oh yes.
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
Can you lift that leg up off the bed?
I can’t.
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
Now, what happened here? Doctor
told me (inaudible) normally goes,
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
because that’s full of junk. They don’t go.
Full of junk? Full of junk.
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
As arthritis started many years ago
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
and has progressed when I
had this in an accident.
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
[sil.]
00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
Can you bring it up? Yeah, (inaudible).
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
Put it down now.
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
Push it down. Push it down.
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
[sil.]
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
Yes, he’s thin. Yes, he’s thin.
That hurt in there a little bit?
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
In fact, doesn’t know. All right. Swing it out. Only when you down
the… the elbow. All right. Can you ring your arms up above your head?
00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
That’s pretty good. All right. Let me see.
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
Now, put your arms
00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
out to the side. All right. That’s
all right. Now to the right.
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
Good. That’s pretty good.
Now lie down for me.
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
Yeah, I’m comfortable.
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
Squeeze my hand. Squeeze this hand.
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
Does this hurt? Yes. This
is a very sore ankle.
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
Uh…huh… And did you ever take any steroids,
any cortisone or anything like that?
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
(inaudible). (inaudible). They knocked me out. They
sent me to the hospital here about nine weeks ago.
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
Uh…huh… Too much medication,
and I couldn’t eat.
00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
All right, Mr. Rocklin. I think, we’ll see the
(inaudible) and the fingers. (inaudible) second finger.
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:08.000
[sil.]
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
Well, I… All right. That’s it. (inaudible).
00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
As you please. Okay. (inaudible). No,
I can’t. You can’t put (inaudible).
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
I have to be in a particular place down
on my room to get the socks out of me.
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
I’ve had that problem for some time.
I can’t bend down very much.
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
Three: Diathermy for the
right elbow and ankle,
00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.999
PRN for pain not less
than three times a week.
00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:44.999
Four:
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
Try ankle cuffs.
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
Do you have them? (inaudible).
I can make him one.
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
Just try. Try aggravation with
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
artificial bracing of the anterior tilt.
This evaluation
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
by Dr. Cohen, a specialist
in physical medicine,
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
will place Mrs. Weinberg and Mr. Rocklin
in a program designed to rehabilitate
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
the remaining physical power. I have to see this patient every
month. A program coordinating the rehabilitation nurse,
00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
the Department of Physical Therapy,
the Department of Social Service,
00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
and the Department of Occupational Therapy.
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
Well, I’ve got some work.
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
Did you sign this? No. I
never was so down as I am.
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
Now (inaudible) every time of
one place from another here.
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
I just don’t seem to be able to adjust
myself (inaudible). Well, I mean, you’re not
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
gonna adjust yourself in two days, Mrs.
Weinberg. Almost nobody does.
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
You must have really felt pretty awful. I think…
Oh, I did. I had such terrible chest pains.
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
So doctor said it was gas.
He called the nurse
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
and took an hour before I thought the
(inaudible) say goodbye to everybody.
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
I guess what I didn’t agree
with me or something.
00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
It maybe you’re a little nervous and upset
and excited to… Well, that’s… that’s true.
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
I am… have been nervous and
upset, you know. After all,
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.999
I’ve lived with my children 50 years. And
all of a sudden I go away from them.
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
This is big change for you. And
then you expect that in two days
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
you’re gonna be feeling as if there was no
change at all. Heck. You’re still only human.
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:44.999
You can’t get used to something as big
and as different as this in two days.
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:49.999
If you did, I would worry about you.
The only thing
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:54.999
I am very happy about
is this Sarah Solomon.
00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
She’s very nice to me no matter.
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:04.999
I hope she doesn’t get tired. She’s
been taking around and watching me.
00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:09.999
But I’m afraid she’ll get tired of it. Yeah.
I wouldn’t want to change her, because
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:14.999
she is very nice and very understanding. What did
you say? I said there’s a dozen snubbed me too.
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:19.999
Mr. Salinger, the point
is that everybody here
00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:24.999
has been complimented and snubbed by
somebody at some time. Now, just a minute.
00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.999
Just a minute. This is (inaudible) this was
a different. Now, this meeting (inaudible),
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.999
these meetings are called
so that we can get
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.999
whatever is on our chest out of our chest.
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:44.999
Every thrust of our hand
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.999
was in self-defense. In other words,
because people insulted me, and by god,
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:54.999
I will not stand for an insult. There was
00:43:55.000 --> 00:43:59.999
a Confucius quoting several
phrases, I have a few of my own.
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:04.999
So, we cannot see or you would the
time of the resident committee to do,
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:09.999
but they’ve got things to get done. No, I may
have… (inaudible). No, we have an agenda today
00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:14.999
and I would… I’m… I mean
no disrespect to you,
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:19.999
I have all the confidence to (inaudible).
No, no, no. I’m dissatisfied.
00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:24.999
I might as well give you a… I’m entitled
to my opinion. You’re entitled to it,
00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.999
but we’re entitled to conduct the
business in this home, here and now.
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:34.999
And the people have snubbed you. I’m sorry.
I think it’s ungracious of people to do it.
00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:39.999
You’re not the only one that its happened.
(inaudible).
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.999
No, I’m not suggesting that they do, but we have some things to
take care of now. Maybe the… the minutes of the previous meeting.
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:53.000
[sil.]
00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:59.999
At this meeting, of this Residents’ Elected
Representatives, the director of the home,
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.999
Mr. Hammerman, was asked to introduce the
topic of entering resident’s problems.
00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:09.999
[sil.]
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.999
Mr. Salinger spoke earlier about
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:19.999
some difficulty which was expressed to him.
And I know he feels that very deeply.
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.999
And many of us, when we’re at this…
particularly when we have come to the home,
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.999
and without… I don’t want Mr.
Salinger to jump in necessarily here,
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:34.999
but I think that we’ve occasionally
run into these problems
00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:39.999
of what happens when we come into the home.
And I wonder if you
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:44.999
might just take a moment or two to
reflect on your own experiences,
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.999
the difficulties and the kinds of
help that came to you when you
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:54.999
first came into the home. Elvina,
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.999
what were you gonna say. I said, I didn’t have
any help. I just had to make my own help.
00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.999
You had to make your own way? I’d to make my own way. That’s
right. Why don’t you go about the way? That’s where I went.
00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.999
Sarah? I have found that
some new residents coming in
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.999
and had found that this is very
disagreeable. They’ve met some experiences,
00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.999
were discouraging. And then
really, it was tragic. How?
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.999
On my floor… How? Could you tell me about this? A
woman who doesn’t remember and she couldn’t find
00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:29.999
the way alone the hall. And they made it so
unhappy for her, she will cry many times.
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:34.999
And even today at the table,
she’s told how to do this,
00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.999
and how did she cry today and yesterday. She said
they treat her like a child. I have to be frank.
00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.999
And they made her cry, because they told her to do
this and to stack the dishes and do different things.
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:49.999
She said she’s not a child. And she cried and told me about it. And I
told her she should say something. But she isn’t the kind of woman
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.999
to talk back. And she’s had a very sad
experience when she first came in.
00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:59.999
I know, because she’s with me. She’s really
an intelligent woman. And sensitive nature,
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.999
as we all are. And people on our floor had
been very disagreeable with understanding her.
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.999
Very difficult to find her…
00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.999
Is this generally… Yeah. Is this… Is this generally so, do you
think, Florence? I think it’s a matter of an individual problem.
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:19.999
Before we came into the home,
we had made up our mind very,
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:24.999
very firmly that whatever will be will be,
that we’re gonna make the best of everything
00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.999
and try to do the best for
others that we possibly can.
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:34.999
We like everyone else who’ve had
some obstacles, because no matter
00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:39.999
how fine this home is, it isn’t quite like
one’s own home. And the adjustment is
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.999
within one’s self. I’ve always wondered,
if there was something that we,
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.999
either as the home, and it’s kind of
general sense, or as individuals,
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.999
might be doing that could
help the new person
00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:59.999
who’s going to come here tomorrow.
What do you think? When I came home,
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.999
you greeted me. That was it. I
was taken across the street and…
00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:09.999
Forgotten? …forgotten all about.
Now, when new residents come in,
00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:14.999
they have a volunteer, the social worker,
00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.999
and everybody crowds around them and make some
welcome. That didn’t happen when I come in.
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.999
I think they get treated wonderful now
when they come into the home. Jenny?
00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:29.999
I remember. I put in my own application. I
didn’t tell the children. And I walked in here.
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.999
When I came in, you don’t
know, how happy I was.
00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:39.999
Am I as happy in that room? Well, I am.
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:44.999
And I hope, I really do hope, fervently,
00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.999
that I shall never
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:54.999
have to regret coming into the home here.
00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:59.999
No one knows what the
future holds for them.
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.999
This is Mrs. Weinberg’s son and
daughter-in-law make their first visit.
00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.999
Okay, that’s fine. And explain that you’re at the
Drexel Home and that they’ll write you here. Okay?
00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:14.999
Tell her that I hadn’t been well and I wasn’t
able to write. Well, they can write to you here.
00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.999
Then you can write to them. Yes, I know. But tell her
that I didn’t write and they… I have sent the address.
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.999
See this is your birthday card. Oh!
Came from Railway Express.
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.999
Well, that’s nice, they remembered. Yes, they…
Did you call Jerry? Wally called this morning
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:34.999
and they weren’t home. He’s gonna call this evening when
we get home. Because we were in a hurry to get here,
00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:39.999
don’t forget. Oh god, Jerry, a hell of the… Well, he’ll call
Jerry. Okay. Because I’m sure they will come to visit me.
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.999
But we were in a hurry to get here. Oh!
And I didn’t wanna waste any time. Oh!
00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:49.999
Because the time we ate dinner… Yeah. …and cleaned up the dishes
and everything, you know, it was late. Yeah, I didn’t get a chance
00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.999
to see the foot doctor. They have one here.
I know they have everything here,
00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:59.999
but there’s so much examinations going on.
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.999
Are you still going in for your treat… for your
therapy? Oh, for everything. I don’t know.
00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.999
Did the eye doctor examine you yet?
The eye doctor,
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:14.999
but today… Did he take…
Today I had the dentist.
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:19.999
Oh my! And what about the eye doctor?
The eye doctor that…
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:24.999
Is it the eye doctor? I forgot. No,
it’s the dentist. The eye doctor today,
00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.999
that’s right. And what did he tell you about
your eyes? I haven’t gone to the dentist yet.
00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:34.999
What did he say about your eyes?
I say the eye…
00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:39.999
The teeth, that’s what I’m… Oh! What did he
do? Did he… Is he gonna make you some teeth
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:44.999
to chew on? He would have if I want.
Why do I need teeth now?
00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:49.999
All these years I went without teeth and all of a
sudden… Does he… Does he know how you chew nuts
00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:54.999
on your gums without teeth? I showed him. It hurts
me. Yeah. Well, did he put some medicine on it?
00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.999
Well, he… No. I have to see
him again next week. Uh…huh…
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.999
But he asked me if wanted a plate. I said, no. I got the plate
laying in my drawer. I know, but it doesn’t fit you anymore.
00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:09.999
I don’t know. I wouldn’t be
bothered anyway. Is he too old?
00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:14.999
Is the eye doctor gonna
see you too, for glasses?
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.999
They will, but you have to wait for your
turn. I see. It’s more examinations.
00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:24.999
You never had such kind of treatment. Everyday there’s
something that… it’s enough to… I don’t know.
00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:29.999
All kinds of examination.
Hmm… Well, that’s very good.
00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:34.999
You have all these… Arthritis.
…medical facilities right close by.
00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:39.999
(inaudible) my arm that’s almost softened
or something with the squeezing of the…
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:44.999
Does he give you what, treatments?
Treatments.
00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:49.999
Therapy treatments. Therapy. Yeah. And, well, does
he give it on your legs? I had a treatment today.
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:54.999
Does he give to you on your legs? No, I didn’t
get it in my leg. I have very bad leg today.
00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:59.999
Well, the weather changed. You
see, it got hot again. Oh!
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:04.999
I had the arthritis. It’s very bad in the last couple of
days. So, if you were at home, you would mourn and groan,
00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:09.999
and all we would say is, \"Gee, we feel sorry for you.\"
Yeah. \"We can’t do anything for you.\" Here you got
00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:14.999
all kind of medical facilities. Do you still go for… You
go to the doctor, you used to go upstairs for the doctor?
00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:19.999
All kinds of doctors here.
Umm…hmm… That’s good.
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:24.999
You look good, ma. You look very good.
You get three good meals a day.
00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:29.999
Did you… What did you have for…?
I’m gonna stop eating breakfast.
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:34.999
I’m afraid I’ll get too fat. Well, let’s just say… Mrs. Mable
then called and told us we should come and clean out your closet.
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:39.999
It’s all mixed up. Yes, I can’t help it.
I can’t muck it around like that.
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:44.999
I can’t handle. I’ve gotta be just perfect.
And I can’t do it.
00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:49.999
Oh no, not perfect but at least
so you know where everything is.
00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:54.999
Don’t be ashmed.
00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:59.999
171. 171. That’s marked, ma. Ma,
you can put this in the laundry,
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:04.999
because this is marked.
00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:09.999
(inaudible) for me.
00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:14.999
I can’t stand this (inaudible). All
the cotton pieces. See ma, look…
00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:19.999
Are all washable pieces. This is marked already. You can
bring it into the laundry. See here. That’s your number.
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:24.999
You’ll have a number signed to all
your washable items. And these…
00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:29.999
I’m surprised they didn’t show you what you do
with them. You’re supposed to tie them in a bundle
00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:34.999
and throw them in a wall, there’s a shoot that you throw down…
Oh honey, why don’t we tie some in a bundle and throw it down?
00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:39.999
These are marked (inaudible) you have to take
the ones that are marked down. I know. Ma,
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:44.999
I’ll your things that are not marked.
I’ll wash them
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:49.999
and I’ll bring them back to you. Oh,
what do they want from you? What they…
00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:54.999
Well, I’m… I’m going to… You
don’t have to bother me.
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:59.999
You don’t want me to do what? Well, I know you got
enough work of your own. Well, are these dirty…
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:04.999
But you cannot do it for your (inaudible).
You’ll have to learn. I didn’t even wear them.
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:09.999
All right. But these are… You have to
learn how to take care of your laundry.
00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:14.999
It’s very simple. Now, there’s an empty
drawer. When you get washable items…
00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.999
Why don’t you put her jewelry in there, honey? She got… The jewelry
is not wise to put here, because anybody can open this drawer.
00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:24.999
The jewelry there, could be locked.
She can’t go into closet.
00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:29.999
Put it in there where she can see things.
She can’t see in the dark.
00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:34.999
All right, okay. If you put it in the closet, she
can’t find anything. Yeah, you gotta point there.
00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:39.999
And I’m gonna take off my coat.
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:44.999
Put it (inaudible) where ma can see it.
In the light she can see.
00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:49.999
In the dark, she… But let me
straighten this first. Number 171.
00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:54.999
That’s your number. Sure, this is marked.
Now, you tell me…
00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:59.999
This (inaudible) thing isn’t marked. I don’t think…
Anything not marked, Rose, I have to bring back.
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.999
Well, honey, this is a… (inaudible)
home and bring it back.
00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:09.999
It’s torn. Oh, she can’t wear this. Oh this is… We’ll discard it. Anything that’s…
Let’s discard it. Discard anything like it if you can. Take this and throw it away.
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.999
Wally, this wasn’t marked. And
I’m not gonna give this dress…
00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:19.999
She told me that if it’s not marked, it will
get lost. So take anything that is not marked.
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:24.999
We take it right now. Put it on the bed… I know,
but she wants to wear it. It’s still clean.
00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:29.999
She wants to wear it. No. Don’t you need this? This is
marked. As long as you’re here, the job (inaudible).
00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:34.999
Look over everything that’s
not marked that’s washable.
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:39.999
Now, this looks soiled. It’s perfectly
clean. I didn’t wear them at the house.
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:48.000
[sil.]
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:54.999
Is this marked? That’s the one I gave you. And
nice to have… I’ve worn that several times.
00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:59.999
Yeah, this is marked. It’s been marked? Yeah, let’s
give this to be washed. And we’ll take this.
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:04.999
Here, this is marked. Well, give her a brassiere
that’s marked. Okay, here. And that’s all take-home.
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:09.999
What?
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:14.999
What is this honey? What’s this?
That’s a brassiere. Is it marked?
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:19.999
That’s not marked. Oh, I gonna take this
thing. Several of them, I’ve four of these.
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:28.000
[sil.]
00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:34.999
Ma, you didn’t wear skirts yet here?
Huh? You didn’t wear a skirt?
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:39.999
Here, here. You wanna wear this tomorrow?
This is marked. Well, I’ve got on.
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:44.999
I don’t know if it’s marked. Well, I’ll wait. I believe… If it’s not
marked, you have to get it tomorrow. We’ll leave it in her drawer, honey.
00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:49.999
I’m trying to organize. All right. This is… Where
shall I put this? On your night table here?
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:54.999
(inaudible).
00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:59.999
Ma, I’ll put it on the night table.
Yeah, (inaudible). Oh lord, no.
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.999
Honey, put this bag in your mother’s drawer. I
has another glove at home that matches her.
00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:09.999
Take it back and bring it (inaudible) pair.
Okay. All right. Was this marked?
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:14.999
This was the marked one?
00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:19.999
Which one? No, I think Wally said he gonna take this
home. (inaudible) and told Wally to bring it back.
00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:24.999
Well, Wally is working tomorrow. We’ll stop here for a
minute. On the way to work, he’ll run up and say hello.
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:29.999
Won’t bring tomorrow, maybe… Maybe Friday.
00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:34.999
If you want me to do anything
else in your closet?
00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:43.000
[sil.]
00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:39.999
Mrs. White,
00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:44.999
do you know her? Sure, yeah. How do you do?
00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:49.999
[sil.]
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:54.999
At the end of this, sort of a little… Yes.
00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:59.999
…hedge of… of color there again, of the light yellow.
You think it’s light yellow… You see right here,
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:04.999
the (inaudible) right up in (inaudible). Yeah.
Let it come right up in front of the trunk.
00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:09.999
Oh, well here? Along here? Yeah. Oh!
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:18.000
[sil.]
00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:24.999
Okay, I’ll fix this for you.
00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:29.999
I have (inaudible). Umm…hmm…
00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:34.999
You have them? Well, first of
all, let’s put some glue up here.
00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:39.999
[sil.]
00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:44.999
Up here.
00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:49.999
Up here, Sarah. You see my finger?
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:54.999
Over here. Okay, let’s just
far as you need to go.
00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:59.999
Right in here. Right where I
have my finger. That’s right.
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.999
Okay, that’s enough right now. Okay,
put a little more gravel there.
01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:09.999
You can drop them right in here.
01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:14.999
Right here, Mrs. Weinberg. In here? Ah…huh…
01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:19.999
Well, this is the color of the monkey’s skin? The…
The monkey has trousers on. And that’s the color
01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:24.999
of his trousers. This is our first issue that
we got, all right. I heard the wise sayings
01:00:25.000 --> 01:00:29.999
by one of our residents here, Mr.
Max Maskovich.
01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:34.999
He says, \"A good woman inspires a man.
A brilliant woman interests him.
01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:39.999
A beautiful woman fascinates him.
And a sympathetic woman gets him.\"
01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:44.999
How do you like that?
01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:49.999
We’re sort of focusing today to
what you residents get acquainted
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:54.999
and make friends and get into activities and
know about things. Well, I need… I need help.
01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:59.999
I forget myself, just where to go.
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:04.999
And some of the women upstairs,
01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:09.999
they made fun of me last week,
because I didn’t know where to
01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.999
get around a certain place as you know.
Why should they make fun of you?
01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:19.999
I felt they did. There was a bunch of
them there and there were some men there,
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:24.999
and they started, \"There she is. That’s
the one that don’t know how to go.
01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:29.999
You know that foreigner.\" That’s all…
01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:34.999
They must be very ignorant they wouldn’t make
a fuss about. They made me feel so bad that
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:39.999
I cried for two days. I’m
not used to such reception.
01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:44.999
And it seems they’re getting better now.
But some of them were,
01:01:45.000 --> 01:01:49.999
used to stand at night
in the hallway and say,
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:54.999
\"Not there. Where you’re going?\" Yeah.
01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:59.999
Is that a help? Music and social hour,
conducted by Mrs. Bacholivi(ph).
01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:04.999
[music]
01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.999
You had the blues, you told me.
01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:14.999
What was the blues you were having?
Just felt blues, that’s all.
01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:19.999
How long do you think it will take you
01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:24.999
to sort of find somebody
that you can talk to?
01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:29.999
[music]
01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:34.999
It will take time.
01:02:35.000 --> 01:02:39.999
I have no friends.
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:44.999
I’ve been here long time and get
companions. You’ve been here just a month.
01:02:45.000 --> 01:02:49.999
I know. Yesterday…
Wednesday was four weeks.
01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:54.999
[music]
01:02:55.000 --> 01:02:59.999
And this gives you the blues you tell me,
01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:04.999
you have nobody? I gotta move
down through this. Right.
01:03:05.000 --> 01:03:09.999
I don’t come every day.
01:03:10.000 --> 01:03:14.999
But on the Fridays, I want you to come
here, blues or no blues. All right.
01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:19.999
Is that a deal? I’d be glad to.
Well, today is my lucky day.
01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:24.999
Why? Because you are here. And I’ve met
another lady that I… when I first came here,
01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:29.999
she is on the first floor I guess,
she’s gotta an office there.
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:34.999
Her name is same name as mine, Bertha.
Bertha?
01:03:35.000 --> 01:03:39.999
And we got to be friendly. And I like her.
She likes me.
01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:44.999
So why are you talking about the blues? (inaudible)
so far, you’ve been here approximately five weeks.
01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:49.999
What is like… It’s the fifth week.
The initial psychiatric interview.
01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:54.999
It’s a fine place where
people who have no home,
01:03:55.000 --> 01:03:59.999
who need the care is given here.
And by and large…
01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:04.999
Yeah, (inaudible). By and large, this is a
slow place to be for people like myself
01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:09.999
or these people that are out there, all these crippled
people that are… that are aged (inaudible) years,
01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:14.999
and people who have
nothing to do but sitting
01:04:15.000 --> 01:04:19.999
and discuss one another’s (inaudible). What
about for you? I didn’t want to come here.
01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:24.999
No. I was very much aversed to coming here.
Yeah. And it’s only force of circumstances
01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:29.999
have forced me to come here. And I’d
rather… I’d rather be in my home
01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:34.999
and room in a hotel or
some place of that sort
01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:39.999
if I were able to take care of myself
01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:44.999
and live… live a more normal life.
01:04:45.000 --> 01:04:49.999
I was lonely. That was the time
01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:54.999
when I really need help.
So at that time I figured
01:04:55.000 --> 01:04:59.999
the best possibility for me to help was to
come to a home. You decided on your own?
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.999
Oh yes. I have nobody else. The blow was
the death of your wife (inaudible)?
01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:09.999
(inaudible), yes. Yeah. And
then, from then on I my…
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:14.999
I wasn’t living a normal life.
Not eating properly.
01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:19.999
Not having a home to live in.
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:24.999
After 30 years with her.
01:05:25.000 --> 01:05:29.999
You were married 30 years? Married to her, 30
years. I have been married previously for 25.
01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:34.999
She was your second wife? Second wife.
And a good choice?
01:05:35.000 --> 01:05:39.999
A good life? Very wonderful woman.
My wife passed away that kind of
01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:44.999
tsook me fully off. This is natural.
01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:49.999
And I really had nobody
to go to… to my troubles.
01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:54.999
What else can I tell you?
(inaudible), you’re known to go?
01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:59.999
I carried them the best I
could till finally I wind up…
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:04.999
I wind up here, as the best
solution for a balance in my life.
01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:09.999
(inaudible).
01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:14.999
I had a wonderful wife.
I’m still not quite sure
01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:19.999
why you think yourself to past because for…?
Because I don’t think… I don’t think I was…
01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:24.999
I appreciated it enough.
01:06:25.000 --> 01:06:29.999
Well, once in a while I’ll come home tired,
something like that, and I bark a little.
01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:34.999
We never… We never quarreled.
She never quarreled?
01:06:35.000 --> 01:06:39.999
She never quarreled. I was the quarrelsome. You
barked at her? Yeah, I bark. I do the barking. Yeah.
01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:44.999
But she was that kind of a woman. She was very
patient with me. Yeah. And I didn’t realize
01:06:45.000 --> 01:06:49.999
what I had was priceless.
01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:54.999
Yeah. What did she die of? She had…
She must have had a heart condition.
01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:59.999
Her chest bothered a little bit. And after
the doctor (inaudible) very thoroughly,
01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:04.999
fluoroscopy and so on, said,
I can’t find anything wrong.
01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:09.999
My wife felt better since
I feel (inaudible) now.
01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:14.999
So we went home. And this
was about four months
01:07:15.000 --> 01:07:19.999
previous to her illness. She passed away
01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:24.999
and all I was doing was,
01:07:25.000 --> 01:07:29.999
sit there holding her hand through the pin.
Plastic pin.
01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:34.999
Through the plastic pin. (inaudible). I
didn’t know what was happening. (inaudible).
01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:39.999
You cry when think about her?
01:07:40.000 --> 01:07:44.999
When you think about these things?
Oh no, no. Not unless I…
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:49.999
Yeah. Do you find anything
wrong with me? No.
01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:54.999
At the moment I have a maybe a little elder
complex, because I didn’t know what was going on.
01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:59.999
Maybe at times I was a
little brusque with her.
01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:04.999
But we spent 30 years together. Yeah.
Did you have much of a chance
01:08:05.000 --> 01:08:09.999
to get this out when you… when
you were mourning for her?
01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:14.999
I didn’t realize at that time.
I mean, after her death?
01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:19.999
I mean, after her death? After
her death, I didn’t realize
01:08:20.000 --> 01:08:24.999
until after I moved out the… the apartment…
Oh, I see! …and going to a hotel to live
01:08:25.000 --> 01:08:29.999
and how I started to miss her. That
was really (inaudible) began, really.
01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:34.999
(inaudible) began. Yeah. And at
times when I wasn’t feeling good.
01:08:35.000 --> 01:08:39.999
How often… How often I thought to myself,
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:44.999
what… what future have I got? My future
is all behind me. I was willing to…
01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:49.999
to go to the next minute.
01:08:50.000 --> 01:08:54.999
And to this date relentful for me.
I am not too well.
01:08:55.000 --> 01:08:59.999
I have arthritis. And there’s times when it bothers
me a great deal. I can hardly walk some mornings.
01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:04.999
This morning, I got with this weather…
this weather. It knocks me out.
01:09:05.000 --> 01:09:09.999
Yeah. So… I can’t paint you
a better picture than that.
01:09:10.000 --> 01:09:14.999
Yeah. I think, I’ve been very lucid.
01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:19.999
He dresses quite well, quite immaculately.
01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:24.999
He looks like much more like what the
staff members should look like than…
01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:29.999
than any resident. And again,
01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:34.999
the thing that’s striking about him is
the certain degree of pride in himself.
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:39.999
And he’s very proud. And the home is
real… a real (inaudible) to him also.
01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:44.999
And how he is going to adjust here
to, I would have some questions.
01:09:45.000 --> 01:09:49.999
The sound was so individuated at this man,
01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:54.999
the home really presents it’s the management
problem. Wait no, in much contrast, a lady,
01:09:55.000 --> 01:09:59.999
I think that we should probably be concerned
about was an obstacle to determine.
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.999
Dr. Moss (inaudible) his
impression on that woman.
01:10:05.000 --> 01:10:09.999
Mrs. Weinberg was willing to talk on
01:10:10.000 --> 01:10:14.999
concerns of her relationship with
the other… the other residents.
01:10:15.000 --> 01:10:19.999
She is apparently somewhat
01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:24.999
depressed and quite angry about,
what she views as her rejection
01:10:25.000 --> 01:10:29.999
by her son and daughter-in-law.
01:10:30.000 --> 01:10:34.999
She had shared a room with the… with the granddaughter
and has finally decided (inaudible) three bedrooms
01:10:35.000 --> 01:10:39.999
that she would have to… She put
it in terms of her society…
01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:44.999
Yes. …that it would be best
if she come into the home.
01:10:45.000 --> 01:10:49.999
Usually people in this age group
rather enjoy their reminisces
01:10:50.000 --> 01:10:54.999
as the past can be experienced
in some way as pleasant and…
01:10:55.000 --> 01:10:59.999
and something that will comfort to
what one has to enjoy in old age.
01:11:00.000 --> 01:11:04.999
All the indignities of having to be in an
institution, and the feelings about having to be…
01:11:05.000 --> 01:11:09.999
having to leave the… the children’s
home and… Now, in spite of the fact
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:14.999
she has readymade rationalizations about why she is here,
and that she and the family apparently agree with,
01:11:15.000 --> 01:11:19.999
you know. It had to be and she… And in spite
of this kind of realistic quality about her,
01:11:20.000 --> 01:11:24.999
she is a woman who has very little
psychological understanding.
01:11:25.000 --> 01:11:29.999
As soon as it came to discuss anything about the
past that really related to… to feeling states,
01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:34.999
to… to even pleasure, she
would… she would use it to…
01:11:35.000 --> 01:11:39.999
to make it in such a great contrast to the way
things are now, that you have to dismiss it.
01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:44.999
So she’s constantly living
in on a terrible person,
01:11:45.000 --> 01:11:49.999
from which she has in a some sense no relief.
But any attempt to try to engage her,
01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:54.999
you know, by spelling out the, you know,
01:11:55.000 --> 01:11:59.999
all… many of these things, she really will have to
learn a lot. Okay. Yeah. This is my impression of her.
01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:04.999
She would never know when to come, nor where
to go, nor even the direction to the elevator.
01:12:05.000 --> 01:12:09.999
Then within the past week or two, she
makes to the appointments own time
01:12:10.000 --> 01:12:14.999
without assistance and she knows the direction to the
elevator and she also has additional complaints (inaudible).
01:12:15.000 --> 01:12:19.999
She knows that she has more than one not to be bothered
by. Somebody must have briefed her on Drexel Home,
01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:24.999
because she used to say that, I want to see the ophthalmologist right
away, I want (inaudible) glasses. She said, (inaudible) right away
01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:29.999
my feet are bothering me. And I said, well,
you know you (inaudible) in way around now.
01:12:30.000 --> 01:12:34.999
I said, why don’t you just take your time?
01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:39.999
I said, all these days
we will come in time.
01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:44.999
You go down these different departments (inaudible). She wanted to go
everyone and know right away. Yeah. You know, Gerry and (inaudible),
01:12:45.000 --> 01:12:49.999
this was that I think her, the push
of the family. It is the family.
01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:54.999
The family was urging our resources upon her
and she was, I think, in par trying to be
01:12:55.000 --> 01:12:59.999
good to them, because she’s also
been expressive about her resentment
01:13:00.000 --> 01:13:04.999
of all the medical appointments she
has had. She has been quite verbal
01:13:05.000 --> 01:13:09.999
of feeling completely overwhelmed
by this deluge of medical care.
01:13:10.000 --> 01:13:14.999
She has resented very much. It
is actually an okay product
01:13:15.000 --> 01:13:19.999
in case that is increasing the
depression, but we shall see.
01:13:20.000 --> 01:13:24.999
We do need (inaudible) to get involved with
her. Dr. Moss will see her again next week
01:13:25.000 --> 01:13:29.999
to see if there is some sort of issue
to be established. I would not agree
01:13:30.000 --> 01:13:34.999
to let just to… I mean, I would even let Sarah
Solomon, you know, to take her around, do everything.
01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:39.999
I would not be able to do too much of her into to…
to have her withdrawn from her, because she does
01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:44.999
need to have something… something going. She doesn’t have much
going for her now. I really somewhat concerned about this lady.
01:13:45.000 --> 01:13:49.999
There are very few girls like my wife
you know. And I have a mother-in-law
01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:54.999
in a home for all the in… in our own home
for all these years and a father taboo.
01:13:55.000 --> 01:13:59.999
So there’s actually two
in-laws living in a home,
01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:04.999
actually not really directly related with.
She has to cater, had a cater to both.
01:14:05.000 --> 01:14:09.999
But thank goodness my mother was fortunately able
to get in here for which we’re both grateful.
01:14:10.000 --> 01:14:14.999
She was (inaudible). She… I think she’s
getting to adjust. Well, I was wondering
01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:19.999
if you could tell me something a little more
about what she was like before she came in,
01:14:20.000 --> 01:14:24.999
so we can see whether some of
what we are seeing is new.
01:14:25.000 --> 01:14:29.999
Well, my mother was always a very independent
individual. She’d always had to work
01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:34.999
through the years since I was a child,
I remember, because my father was
01:14:35.000 --> 01:14:39.999
never able to make a real good living.
And she had help supplement and income.
01:14:40.000 --> 01:14:44.999
And ever since I was very small, my mother used to work.
She used to leave my dinner on the table when I was child,
01:14:45.000 --> 01:14:49.999
that’s when I went with grandma to school, I remember
and she’d go to work. But she was very independent.
01:14:50.000 --> 01:14:54.999
She didn’t take anything from anybody.
And I think she’s carried
01:14:55.000 --> 01:14:59.999
that independence through the
years even though she has aged,
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.999
and actually she needs help, needed help
when she got older, that might help I mean,
01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:09.999
extra love and attention to children normally
with you. In fact, I think I spoiled her.
01:15:10.000 --> 01:15:14.999
For the past three years, we
wouldn’t allow her to do too much
01:15:15.000 --> 01:15:19.999
at the end. For a person who’s
been active all their life
01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:24.999
and then all of a sudden you take all these privileges
away from them, you become actually useless.
01:15:25.000 --> 01:15:29.999
You just become like you, you know, you forget
things. Well, you have to understand who that,
01:15:30.000 --> 01:15:34.999
my wife is a perfectionist. She… My mother,
she attempted to do things to help her.
01:15:35.000 --> 01:15:39.999
She thought she’s actually helping.
But this is not the type of a woman
01:15:40.000 --> 01:15:44.999
that appreciates that type of help. She wants the
corner cleaned as well as right in the center.
01:15:45.000 --> 01:15:49.999
Yeah. But when you get old, you can’t do it.
(inaudible) you’re not so meticulous anymore.
01:15:50.000 --> 01:15:54.999
She never threw anything out. Nothing. If it was an old ribbon, she would fold it up
and put in a… Yes. We always knew (inaudible) ribbon (inaudible) when we needed one.
01:15:55.000 --> 01:15:59.999
…in her drawer. Just one thing you gotta give to my grandma,
because she’d never waste anything. That’s for sure. Well, maybe…
01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:04.999
I incidentally, you know… This was an
interesting thing now when bringing this up.
01:16:05.000 --> 01:16:09.999
She has… She has not
mentioned it at the moment.
01:16:10.000 --> 01:16:14.999
But I’m sure one of these days, she’s
gonna say, where are my pictures?
01:16:15.000 --> 01:16:19.999
She had the picture of my wife
and I, our marriage picture,
01:16:20.000 --> 01:16:24.999
and then my daughter, and my son, and
things like that. Now, she will probably
01:16:25.000 --> 01:16:29.999
be asking us where her pictures are. Sure. I think
we should bring them, because there are few
01:16:30.000 --> 01:16:34.999
that she treasures. But (inaudible) asked her anything
like that nor has she asked for her personals like a…
01:16:35.000 --> 01:16:39.999
a clock or… I think we should bring her
a clock though. Has anybody asked her
01:16:40.000 --> 01:16:44.999
whether she would like to have these things with
her? No, we haven’t mentioned it. No, we haven’t.
01:16:45.000 --> 01:16:49.999
Do you think that that would be something to help
her? I’m wondering whether one of the things
01:16:50.000 --> 01:16:54.999
that might be possible to do for, you
indicated that even in the past several years
01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:59.999
she had more and more limitations put on her,
because she couldn’t do things any longer.
01:17:00.000 --> 01:17:04.999
That’s right. And I… Yeah. But the…
the limitations were imposed on her.
01:17:05.000 --> 01:17:09.999
They weren’t her own limitations. No. No. She didn’t
say, I better not do this anymore. No. I did it.
01:17:10.000 --> 01:17:14.999
Uh…huh… I did it. And I did wrong, because
I know that we sheltered her too much.
01:17:15.000 --> 01:17:19.999
Yes, it was perfect. We sheltered her too much. I think
that’s probably the… We wouldn’t allow her do to things,
01:17:20.000 --> 01:17:24.999
because we were afraid she’d fall, you know.
Once in a while I’ll take her for a walk
01:17:25.000 --> 01:17:29.999
and she could only walk up to the corner and then she’d
be out of breath. We’d ask (inaudible) very bad.
01:17:30.000 --> 01:17:34.999
She’s… She travels very easily. And we were just so afraid if
she walked down the stairs and wouldn’t make it, you know.
01:17:35.000 --> 01:17:39.999
And then when every time they come over, she’s says too
much or not enough with the doctors, like while at home,
01:17:40.000 --> 01:17:44.999
she’d sit down and, you know, be
sore all over with arthritis.
01:17:45.000 --> 01:17:49.999
So that (inaudible) too much in a way you,
01:17:50.000 --> 01:17:54.999
this is very literally what was true, what you did was treated
the way an over anxious mother does with her first baby,
01:17:55.000 --> 01:17:59.999
don’t let her do anything in case she got
her. I know. That was my fear. I was…
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:04.999
That’s not a matter of getting hurt.
Well… If you just get outside,
01:18:05.000 --> 01:18:09.999
here’s a woman that was a perfectionist. Well, we did worry about her, you’re
not letting her go up by herself, we were certainly overprotecting her.
01:18:10.000 --> 01:18:14.999
Yes, this is one… only one phase. One phase about it. But
when you limited her in the house, this is something else,
01:18:15.000 --> 01:18:19.999
because she would… took away her privileges
of cooking, and the cleaning the kitchens.
01:18:20.000 --> 01:18:24.999
And we… we restrict her and finally we let her, at
least my wife said here, you can do the ironing,
01:18:25.000 --> 01:18:29.999
because she would not clean to Mrs.
Weinberg’s taste,
01:18:30.000 --> 01:18:34.999
was not suitable for her. I don’t think any
of these… And… And as far as cooking goes,
01:18:35.000 --> 01:18:39.999
she would undoubtedly, of course her eyesight
was bad, but often times in just taking an egg,
01:18:40.000 --> 01:18:44.999
she would not get the whole egg in the
pot, because part would go on the stove.
01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:49.999
It’d definitely be on the stove. And… Please Heron(ph),
I’m talking. And when my wife would see this,
01:18:50.000 --> 01:18:54.999
of course, my wife would get very disturbed, because
she just felt that this is an extra burden of work
01:18:55.000 --> 01:18:59.999
on her part here, because then she has to re-clean the
stove or re-clean the floor or re-clean the counter,
01:19:00.000 --> 01:19:04.999
things of this nature, you see.
01:19:05.000 --> 01:19:09.999
So I can say that (inaudible) Rose,
my wife here, was very instrumental
01:19:10.000 --> 01:19:14.999
in restricting her. Yes, I was. I
don’t deny it. I have to admit it.
01:19:15.000 --> 01:19:19.999
It’s… It’s true. I… And
we overprotected her too.
01:19:20.000 --> 01:19:24.999
We didn’t allow her to walk the basement stairs.
We were very instrumental in holding her back.
01:19:25.000 --> 01:19:29.999
And maybe this is coming
out now, you can see why.
01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:34.999
Umm…hmm… And if she was, as you say, before this a very
independent woman, and here you’re really taking most of her…
01:19:35.000 --> 01:19:39.999
Definitely. That’s sure, definitely, very
independent. She went everywhere alone.
01:19:40.000 --> 01:19:44.999
Yeah. Up until she got to be about 80.
We’re hoping
01:19:45.000 --> 01:19:49.999
that she will definitely come out of
this shell that she has been put into
01:19:50.000 --> 01:19:54.999
and try for herself, because every time I see her, I
tell how nice she looked. She puts on her earrings.
01:19:55.000 --> 01:19:59.999
In fact, she broke her beads. I’ve gotta her some
pearls. She broke them in the house the other night.
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.999
So I promised her I’ll get her beads. Okay. Now, she
isn’t going to do it, just as a kid doesn’t grow up
01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:09.999
through adolescence into adulthood without the
family’s help. You have to change the way
01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:14.999
you can with her, just as you’re gonna have to know your kids.
You have to give your mother some freedom of choice too.
01:20:15.000 --> 01:20:19.999
And this is gonna be a new
pattern of behavior for you,
01:20:20.000 --> 01:20:24.999
maybe very difficult. Well, what
would you suggest that we do?
01:20:25.000 --> 01:20:29.999
Well, let’s take something concrete as a starter. We’ve
talked about the fact that she left her pictures
01:20:30.000 --> 01:20:34.999
and her clock and some of her other things behind when
she came. And you said maybe you ought to bring them.
01:20:35.000 --> 01:20:39.999
Maybe before you bring
them you ought to ask her.
01:20:40.000 --> 01:20:44.999
Let her decide whether or not
she wants them now. Huh.
01:20:45.000 --> 01:20:49.999
And if she says yes - fine, wonderful - you
bring her when the next time you come.
01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:54.999
If she says no, say why not? Let her
take a look at her decision and…
01:20:55.000 --> 01:20:59.999
and make to herself knowing
what she’s deciding.
01:21:00.000 --> 01:21:04.999
All right.
01:21:05.000 --> 01:21:09.999
Mrs. Weinberg and Mr. Rocklin have
begun their lives at Drexel Home.
01:21:10.000 --> 01:21:15.000
[sil.]
Distributor: Kartemquin Films
Length: 80 minutes
Date: 1966
Genre: Expository
Language: English
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
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